A/N: Angst ahead!
Warnings: slash, Hank/Alex, Hank/Raven, language, heavily implied sex, Hank's self-esteem issues, and a little minor sexuality crisis. I detest Hank/Raven for some reason, which is probably why Raven isn't portrayed in a favorable light here.
Disclaimer: Don't own X-Men or Spring Awakening, which is the musical I took the lyrics from. :D
Another brief warning: YES THIS IS HANK/ALEX SLASH, AND YES HANK IS BLUE AND FURRY NOW. If you don't like it, I get it, and you totally don't have to read it. :)
Just too unreal, all this
Watching his world slip through my fist
Playing with her in your fantasies
Haven't you heard a word, how I want you?
Oh, I'm gonna be wounded
Oh, I'm gonna be your wound . . .
'The Word of Your Body', Spring Awakening.
"The bitch left, Hank. Get fucking used to it."
Hank growls, partly from lust and partly from pleasure due to what Alex is currently doing with his hands, but also partly from anger. The feral, animalistic side of him – Beast – wants to rip Alex limb from limb for that comment. (Meanwhile, Hank, somewhere, is weeping. Beast could care less about Hank.)
"She's gone. She ditched us for Erik. She ditched you, and the professor, and Sean, and fuck it, even me. She. Is. Gone."
Hank kisses Alex to shut him up, and his pointed teeth slip (he'll forever call it a slip) ever so slightly, nicking Alex's lower lip. The taste of warm iron explodes into the kiss, and Hank pulls back slightly, lips curled into a snarl. Alex shouldn't be so damn gorgeous right now, with his mussed golden-blond hair, big steely-blue eyes, and swollen, bleeding bottom lip.
"Ow – fuck you, you asshole."
Hank kisses him again so he'll just be quiet, and Alex acquiesces. For the moment.
They part to gulp down some air, and Hank's mouth descends on Alex's neck – Alex consents to that as well, throwing his head back and baring his pale throat (Beast revels in his dominance; Hank still cries in the metaphorical corner.)
"I love you," Alex pants out, staring at the ceiling as Hank licks hungrily at his neck. Hank pauses in a rather idiotic pose, his tongue still stuck out slightly to lap at Alex's Adam's apple. Alex lifts his head slightly and blue eyes meet yellow (Hank whimpers softly in that corner; he himself used to have blue eyes. Always hidden behind glasses, but people used to say they were his best feature . . .)
"I do," Alex whispers fervently, his voice hushed, coarse, and deep (that masculine voice both sickens and arouses Hank – he's still screaming, this isn't right, this isn't right). "I know you don't believe me, because you're still hung up on her, and because you probably still hate me even though we're – and I know you think that because of the way you look that no one, especially not me, could –,"
"Shut up," Hank whispers, dropping his gaze as he goes back to nipping and biting at Alex's skin, as he goes back to pretending that he can just lose himself in Alex's blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs (so maybe another man isn't the best option for Hank, but Alex shares just enough key features with her that it's alright - well - he shares key features with her disguise . . . ) "Just please – please stop. Please don't."
Alex is silent then, but his legs spread as easily as ever.
It's only been a month since Cuba, but Hank is a little ashamed to admit that they've already done this a handful of times – because Hank breaks a little bit more every time he remembers anything from that day, and every time he catches sight of his reflection – and because doing this is somehow the only way to get some frustration out. He's rough with Alex, not nearly rough as he'd like to be (because he'd break the boy if he was), but that's okay, because it's not Alex he really wants anyway. (At least, it shouldn't be.) But he pretends, because he can. And Alex goes along with it, because somehow Alex is the only person who can manage to find him remotely attractive now, and because somehow Alex is in love with him. Somehow Hank has gone from having a crush on a girl to being in love with the memory of a girl and to fucking another guy because he just needs to.
The Beast's gaze flicks up once more, his eyes meeting Alex's once again.
Hank still weeps. And right in front of him, Alex does, too.
A/N: Reviews would be greatly appreciated.