Heyo Guys, I am back and personally I feel like CRAP! I'm tired and I feel discouraged...just the other day my mother told me I am useless and I am Stupid...what a great day right? This has some Indiana Jones in it...well, it more like talks of him sorta. This is the sob story part...so Don't kill it with the dreaded flamers and haters TT_TT

Pain

I went back to my shared cabin and placed my stuff on the cot and saw my guitar with a sleeping Henry on my cot.

"Hello Henry," I said gently, shaking him awake.

"Mmph! Grandpa I don't want to wake up!" He murmured.

"Sorry, Its aunty, Time to wake up laddy. You are on my cot," I said softly at my nephew.

He opened one eye and saw me and cried softly into my lap. His eyes red and swollen and tear tracks running down his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly rubbing Henry gently on his back as he laid down.

"Today is the day grandpa Indy died," he said as more tears flowed down his face.

"Shush, its okay. Its okay. Indiana lived through much and saw much. He lived a wonderful life full of adventure and love. I loved Indiana like a grandfather as well. I am sorry he died," I said with a few tears trailing down my face as well.

"He died in bed, naming you his successor and wanting you to take his legacy and his last name. I miss him, Alex I miss him," He said, crying harder in my lap.

"So that's why he shipped me his hat and whip. It's okay Henry. Shush. I know I never was at his funeral but I can still do a song in respect and a prayer," I said softly, rubbing his head gently.

"You would do that for Grandpa?" he asked with a tear streaked face.

"Yes, seeing as I have to continue his legacy," I said sadly, grabbing the guitar.

"Henry, go grab some paper and two candles," I ordered as I tuned the guitar.

He left to get the stuff and I pulled the guitar strap over my head and left the cabin and walked to a couple barrels on deck, facing the sea. I sat on the barrel and silently let the tears flow from my eyes. The ship was almost empty as the men went ashore for some pleasurable company and Ana went below decks to check the cargo. Will and Elizabeth were in their cabins, adjacent to mine and Jack was in his cabin having 'fun' with another woman. Gibbs was also below decks with Ana trying to see what supplies we need to stock up on and my Samurai were back in town to get something for repairs. Henry came back with the supplies and handed them to me. I made an elaborate origami flower and placed the small candle in it and did the same for another. I placed them on deck and motioned for Henry to sit next to me.

"I know your parents are dead from the 9/11 terrorist attack and I shall pray and sing for them as well," I said quietly to the crying boy next to me.

I started to play Rascal Flatt's 'What Hurts the Most' I cleared my throat and sighed.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do,"

I sang quietly but my voice began rising in volume. My pain and emotion filled my voice as I sang, Henry singing in harmony with me as we gazed out to the sea.

I sang another song that was purely for my pain and sorrow, strumming the chords in sorrow.

"She never slows down.
She doesn't know why

but she knows that when she's all alone,

feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around
The shadows are long and

she fears if she cries that first tear,

the tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself

and the fears whispering if she stands

she'll fall down

She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything

she's running from wants to

give up and lie down.

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain."

I sang with pain and sorrow with tears trailing down my face, not noticing that Jack and his prostitute, Ana, Gibbs, Will, and Elizabeth were on deck listening to my pain.

I set the guitar aside and pulled a matchbox out of one of my many pockets in my cargo pants and lit the candles in the origami flowers. I blew the match out and got off the barrel. I handed Henry one of the flowers and motioned for him to get down. We both sat on deck as I let the flower flow out of my hands into the sea letting the little light flow on the waves. Henry mimicked me and his flower floated next to mine.

"Asian tradition shows this as showing respect for those who have gone and are deceased," I said as I wrapped an arm around him as he shock in tears with sobs.

"Let us pray," I told him as I shifted my position to a kneeling position with my hands folded over each other.

Henry took the same stance and bowed his head and closed his eyes. I closed my eyes and bowed my head and took my hat off and placed it beside me.

"Dear Lord in Heaven, Lord I pray for ones already gone to your heavenly palace in the Sky, Lord. I pray that those of us still on this earth who still fill sadness and sorrow. Lord relieve us of our pain and suffering. Lord I pray for Henry. Bless him in his time of need and suffering. I feel his suffering as a family member and as an Aunt. Lord, I will act as his guardian and as a parent. In Jesus' name, Amen," I said as I opened my eyes as I looked at Henry with his wind tossed hair and his sad expression.

"I will never take the place of your parents but I will always. ALWAYS be there for you okay Indy?" I told him as he smiled at me in a sorrowful manner.

"Okay, mom," He said with a weak smile.

"Let me sing two more songs specifically for your departed parents and let us sleep off our sorrows," I told him.

I grabbed my hat and stood up and faced the sea, watching the little flickering lights of the candles floating out to sea. I didn't place my hat back on instead I held it to my chest in a solemn manner. I placed my hands on the rail and sang a Capella.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see."

I cried freely now, my eyes expelling tears of pain and loss.

"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here,"

I sang full of sorrow, my voice cracking on the last word.

I hugged Henry, letting him cry on my shoulder as I cried silently, tears flowing like a river. I squeezed him and looked over to the sea.

"My name is no longer Alexandra Spears. My name is now Alexandra Jones. Henry Listen, Now I will protect you and I will get us home, I swear to you I will," I promised to Henry, looking him dead in the eye. "I swear."

"Yes, aunty...no wait. Mom," He said with a true smile.

"Go to sleep and rest. Feel happier that they are in a better place and we always have angels watching over us. Trust me, Henry, Not only are the angels are watching over you...I am. Feel safe," I said, hugging him tightly and letting him go.

"You remind me of Grandpa, you have the same glint in your eyes and the same archeology clothing. Mom," He told me with a watery smile as he walked off to his cabin.

I stood in silence, staring at the tiny flickering lights moving steadily further out. I continued to let my tears flow in silence as I cried.

"Goodbye Grandfather Indiana Jones. God bless you in your new home in heaven," I whispered as I turned, placing the fedora on my head, pushing the rim low to use the shadows to hide my face.

I didn't notice anything anymore, just walking back to the cabin and laying down on my cot, toying around with my hat. I sighed heavily shifted my hat to cover my face as I slept on my hammock, memories of the Jones family filling my dreams.

(Jack's POV)

Never before had Jack woken up to such heavenly music. It filled his every fiber and made him want to cry heavily. Jack shifted out of his bed and woke up the prostitute next to him. He walked out and stood next to Gibbs and Ana-Maria. Alex's sweet voice filled the air with pain and emotion. Her songs were heart-breaking and seemed to affect everyone onboard. She was no longer in her 'pirate' clothing and in her more modern clothing and was sitting with his youngest crew mate, Henry, on a barrel. Jack felt a huge pang of jealousy as he watched Henry cry on Alex's shoulder as she sang and strummed the guitar. She moved the guitar off to the side and got up. She had a match in her hand and lit two candles in two paper flowers that looked delicate and beautiful. She knelt on deck and let the flower fly into the choppy sea and Henry copied her movements.

"Asian tradition shows this as showing respect for those who have gone and are deceased," She told him with her arm around his shoulder as the young man cried hard.

"Let us pray," she said, Shifting her body to a kneeling position and taking her hat off and placing it beside her.

She laced her fingers together and bowed her head, Henry doing the same.

" Dear Lord in Heaven, Lord I pray for ones already gone to your heavenly palace in the sky, Lord. I pray that those of us still on this earth who still fill sadness and sorrow. Lord Jesus relieve us of our pain and suffering. Lord I pray for Henry. Bless him in his time of need and suffering. I feel his suffering as a family member and as an Aunt. Lord, I will act as his guardian and as a parent. I pray in Jesus' name Amen," She said softly, causing Jack to raise an eyebrow in shock.

'Aunt? So they are family?' He thought guiltily.

Alex looked at Henry sadly and sorrowfully.

" I will never take the place of your parents but I will always. ALWAYS be there for you okay Indy?" She said as she hugged him, letting him openly cry into her shoulder.

He calms down enough to lift his face from her shoulder and gives her a watery smile.

"Okay...mom," he said with a weak and watery smile.

"Let me sing two more songs for your departed parents and sleep off our sorrows," She said with a water grin of her own, her eyes a deep, sad brown.

She grabbed the hat beside her and stood up slowly and faced the water, watching the small lights on the water. She didn't place her hat on her head and instead held it to her chest as a form of salute, and sang without any music. The first song was a hymn Jack heard before and didn't pay attention. Jack slowly took his hat off and placed it on his chest in respect to the dead. She finished singing and was openly crying now, tears running down her face, her pain echoing throughout the ship. The next song was one they never heard before...well then again...they didn't really listen to music of the more 'modern' age. The song seemed to speak to him of her sorrow and pain.

"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here"

Her voice cracked as the tears ran very loosely on her face. Jack felt an overbearing surge of protectiveness. She hugged Henry or...Indy, letting him cry on her shoulder as tears flowed of her own.

"My name is no longer Alexandra Spears. My name is now Alexandra Jones. Henry Listen, Now I will protect you and I will get us home, I swear to you I will," She said as she pulled back, Starring hard at Henry. "I swear."

Jack felt his own heart plummet.

'NO! not yet! please not yet!' he thought frantically to him self.

Henry smiled for real through his tears and said, "Yes, Aunty...no...Mom."

"Go to sleep and rest. Feel happier that they are in a better place and we always have angels watching over us. Trust me, Indiana, Not only are the angels are watching over you...I am. Feel safe," She said, hugging him tight for a few seconds and letting him go.

"You remind me of Grandpa, you have the same glint in your eyes and the same archeology clothing. Mom," He said, with a smile, walking back to his hammock below deck.
She stood in silence, watching the steadily fading glow of the candles floating out. She cried silently as her pain was showing on her face.

"Goodbye Grandfather Indiana Jones. God bless you in your new home in heaven," She whispered, placing her hat back on her head, dipping the rim forward so it hid her face in shadows.

Jack scrambled back with the others into the shadows as he watched her head back to her cabin. He shook his head in shame. She just found out one of the role figures in her life died on this day a few years ago. Jack turned to the prostitute in sudden anger as she held her hand out for her money. Jack paid her and promptly kicked her off. Jack looked at Gibbs beside him and looked at him in a begging manner. Gibbs sighed and handed Jack his rum flask. Jack took a heavy swig and handed it back.

"What are we going to tell her father once he realizes that she adopted Henry?" Ana asked, her fake gruffness showing through her facade.

"I don't know...I truly don't know," Jack replied back with a thoughtful expression.

"Jack, Be considerate to her. Toying with her like a cat does to a mouse does no good to anyone," Will said behind Jack.

Jack jumped and looked behind him and saw Will and his murderess of a wife.

"Aye," Jack said grumpily and moved back to his cabin to sleep.