Contest entry for Spanking the Monkey

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Title: From Pain to Pleasure

Name: GrayMatters

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Genre: Angst (I had to do it—you did double dog dare me!)

Rating: M

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Love to my pre-readers, Melee03 and BilliCullen, who assured me I wasn't *completely* insane with this little entry. And extra special thanks and spanks to my beta, ScottishRose1028, who cleaned up my words and made them readable for everyone.

So, here's my take on the Spanking the Monkey contest. And yeah, I totally had to run with the "do it – we double dog dare you" on the genre, so here it is—an angst wank!

"Fuck," I muttered, angrily wiping away the tears from my eyes as I carelessly tossed my phone aside. The words of Edward's text message still glowed, taunting me: Sorry B, have to work late, won't be home for dinner. No idea how late I'll be – don't wait up.

I surveyed the dining room, taking in the scene I had so carefully set. Our wedding china, crystal goblets and sterling flatware were arranged on one end of the formal dining table for an intimate dinner for two. The wine was chilled, the candles were ready to be lighted and the iPod with the play list I had made this afternoon was docked and cued to play. I could tell from the aroma wafting through the air that Edward's favorite meal was nearly done cooking in the oven.

I poured myself a large glass of the same wine we'd had at our wedding and wandered into the kitchen, sitting at the table and waiting for the timer to go off on the oven so I could put dinner away. I wasn't hungry any longer; I only wanted to crawl into bed and forget about my disaster of a plan. My frustration grew as I cleaned up the food and I felt the tears of disappointment spill over and drop into the sink with tiny splashes.

We had both been so busy lately with work that I had really wanted this time to reconnect. It had been weeks since we had done more than simply pass in the night, too tired to do more than fall into an exhausted sleep beside each other before beginning our grueling schedules again the next day. I missed my husband. I missed my love. I missed my Edward.

I shut the lights off in the kitchen and grabbed my glass of wine, wearily climbing the stairs to our room. I had taken the afternoon off, though due to the emotional letdown I felt more drained than I did after a regular workday.

I carefully removed and hung up my sleeveless blue silk dress, my fingers brushing the smooth fabric. Edward always said he loved me in blue, so I chose it just for this occasion, hoping to renew some spark.

I caught sight of my reflection in the dresser mirror and glared, as if the trouble I had gone to this evening had jinxed the plans. I was wearing my favorite lace demi-cup bra and barely-there cheeky panties, the ones that always made Edward lose his control when I was wearing them. The memory of my husband, his green eyes heavy with lust as I modeled this set for him the very first time, made tears well in my eyes again. I sank down onto the bed—his side—and took a large gulp of wine. I set the goblet on his nightstand and then laid my head on his pillow, inhaling raggedly as his scent assaulted my nostrils.

My body responded to the familiarity of our bed and his aroma, even though Edward wasn't here. I literally ached for him, my nipples tightening at the mere memory of his mouth on them and my pussy throbbing at the thought of his cock filling me. I closed my eyes tightly and ghosted my fingertips along the edge of my bra the way Edward would, my breath hitching as I imagined his nimble fingers plucking and elongating my nipples until they were stiff and aching for his lips and tongue. Soon my fingers traveled the same path in poor imitation and I gasped, pinching my tit hard and pretending it was his teeth. My hips bucked, seeking friction where there was none. The reminder that I had no lover and that I was alone caused another wave of frustration and despair to crash over me.

Fighting my tears, I quickly removed my bra and I cupped both of my breasts, using my thumbs to gently tease my nipples, imitating the way Edward would press feather-soft kisses to my peaks and drive me insane with want. I moaned, arching my neck and imagining the feel of his lips as they slid up and down the column of my throat before taking first one nipple, then the other between his lips, slowly laving each with his tongue until I would cry out his name as I did now.

Leaving my left hand where it was to continue stimulating to my nipples, I slowly slipped my right hand down my torso, tracing the lacy scalloped edge of my panties the way Edward always did. My small fingers and smooth fingertips did not feel nearly as good as the large, callused fingers of my husband, but I imagined him over me, his eyes deep and dark with arousal, his hair wild from me running my fingers through it as we kissed. I slid my fingers beneath my panties, finding my clit already swollen and aching for Edward's touch. I shed the garment and laid back down, my body impatient for its pleasure, my fingers seeking the fluttering warmth and wetness between my legs.

It wasn't long before my hips rose and fell in rhythm as my fingers slid along my slick flesh, seeking hidden places designed to bring me to the heights of pleasure. Images flashed behind my closed eyelids. Edward hovering above me as he drove his body into mine time and time again, words of love and lust falling from our lips. Edward beneath me as I rode him, his jaw clenched as he tried to stave off his orgasm when I swiveled my hips the way I knew he loved. Edward's crooked smirk when he looked up at me from between my legs just before he returned to tongue-fucking me. Edward's expression of utter rapture as I sucked the orgasm right out of him, his fingers tight in my hair while his cock touched the back of my throat. Each mental picture, accompanied by the stroke of my fingers against my aching sex, drove me higher and higher toward bliss.

The bedroom resonated with my sounds, the panting and moaning, sighs and exclamations as my arousal reached fever pitch. I shifted my hips faster, my fingers frenzied against my clit as the coil in my stomach tightened. I turned my head to the side, burying my nose in Edward's pillow and inhaling deeply, his scent bringing me even closer to the edge. I was right there, on the brink of orgasm, ready for my body to explode...but I couldn't. I wanted Edward with me.

I collapsed against the bed and sobbed Edward's name. I was startled to hear Edward choke out my name in response and my eyes snapped open to find him standing in the doorway of our bedroom, clutching the door frame so tightly his fingertips were white. I reached for a blanket to cover myself but stopped when Edward commanded, "Don't."

I lay there, feeling exposed as we stared at one another. I took inventory of Edward's appearance as he studied me. His hair was disheveled, as though he had been running his fingers through it. His cheeks were flushed and he was breathing heavily as his eyes roamed my body. "Why didn't you make yourself come?" he asked huskily, reaching down to adjust his very obvious erection. He moaned when I licked my lips.

"I didn't want to...not without you," I admitted, ducking my head and blushing. "How long have you been standing there?" I asked, insanely turned on that he had been watching me and that watching me had obviously turned him on as well. I teased one of my nipples to a hard peak with a fingertip, and smiled in satisfaction at his responding groan.

"Not quite long enough," Edward answered, his hand cupping and rubbing his shaft through his trousers. "That was the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen, Bella. Will you finish for me now?"

"Why?" I asked, blushing an even deeper shade of red. "You're home now, I don't need to. I'd rather have you, Edward. Come to bed."

"I will, after. Make yourself come for me first, Bella," Edward said, his voice low and persuasive, and I felt my body clench in response.

"Will you join me over here?" I asked, already moving my hands down my body. Edward nodded wordlessly, and with every step he took toward the bed, the more I parted my thighs, until he was standing at the foot of the bed and I was lying before him, open, wet and wanting.

I slid my middle finger between my folds, my eyes on him and his on my hands. I gathered the wetness of my arousal on my fingertip and then slid it up to my clit, moaning Edward's name as I stroked myself. I was already so primed from my earlier activities that I was biting my lip and fighting to hold off my orgasm as Edward watched so that he could enjoy the show like I knew he wanted to.

Edward's eyes shifted from my center to my eyes and back again as his fingers fumbled with the button on his pants. Now I was the one getting the show when he dropped trou and shoved his boxers down, fisting his erection and slowing stroking it from base to head and back again. The sight of the precum leaking from the tip made me lick my lips and rub my clit faster, and Edward growled in response.

"That's it, Bella. Now use your fingers in your pussy," he ordered, and I immediately complied, sinking two fingers deep inside and moaning Edward's name as I continued to flick and pinch my clit with the fingers of my other hand. I arched my back and rocked my hips, the heat building rapidly in my abdomen. I could feel the sparks within my body igniting as my orgasm began to hit.

"Oh God, Edward," I moaned breathlessly, my entire body seizing up as my climax washed over me. My eyes were locked with his, and under the lust and passion, I could see my husband's love.

"You look so goddamn amazing, I'm going to fucking come just watching you," Edward panted, one hand moving smoothly over his shaft while the other tugged at his balls. "Ahhh, Bella," he groaned, coming in thick spurts on his abdomen. He leaned forward, his knees resting against the foot of the bed, shivers going up and down his spine.

I grabbed a couple of tissues from the box on my nightstand and he reached for them, but I brushed his hand away and tended to him myself. When I was done, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. "I thought you had to work late?" I asked, pressing my lips to the side of his neck.

"I was supposed to, but I missed you. I couldn't stand to be away tonight, it hurt too much," Edward said simply, giving voice to the exact way I had felt earlier. "I texted you to tell you I was on my way home, but I guess you were...busy," he said with a grin. His smile turned soft as he framed my face with his hands. "I love you, Bella," he whispered, leaning down for a soft kiss.

"I love you too, Edward," I sighed as our lips met, feeling complete for the first time in weeks.

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too. ~ Unknown

So that's my wank – why don't you let me know what you thought by clicking the link below that says Review this Chapter? And don't forget to read the other contest entries and then vote for your favorite! Voting will be open from July 8 -21.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read!