A/N I have a half-finished story which I'm slowly plugging away at trying to get finished before I post more but this kind of just popped in my head and wouldn't go away. Warning - it may end up a little smutty. Almost became a pezberry fic but it is finchel with a lot of Santana. It may switch a little between first and third person which I hope will still read OK.
Disclaimer – I don't own Glee, just borrowing the characters and amusing myself in the summer break
Chapter One – Rachel's little problem
"Finn!" I shrieked in frustration, cringing at the sound of my voice echoing down the near empty hallways of McKinley HS. Lowering it I continued in a harsh whisper as Finn cowered in front of his locker. "You know this afternoon is the only day of the week we don't have extra-curricular activities and the only time we have a few hours of seclusion without parental supervision. How could you organise a Halo marathon with Puck and Artie?"
"Come on Rach it's not that big of a deal," he replied while randomly stuffing books in his locker, an activity that was completely pointless and a deliberate distraction from the topic at hand. "We only ever make-out and we do that when your dad's are in the house anyway. What difference does it make if they're there or not?"
He had a point. We'd been back together for a month since nationals and our physical relationship was kind of stalled. Shaking my head of this thought I focused on the real issue here - that Finn was putting two idiots and a stupid video game ahead of his devoted, loving girlfriend – that was the real relationship crime, not the lack of intimacy!
My hostile thoughts were rudely interrupted by none other than Santana, who although her locker is at least three away from mine still thought it necessary to rudely shove me out of the way as she spoke to no-one in particular.
"Will you 2 children stop bickering. It's hurting my eyes and my ears not to mention my sanity."
"Shut up Santana," I replied pulling myself up to my full (although still inferior) height as I turned to face her, "Finn and I are trying to work through our relationship issues like mature adults. Something I'm sure you'd know nothing about…" I turned away as I said this hoping to dismiss her from further discussion. The animosity between us was still as lively as ever, in fact lately she'd taken up a rather annoying habit of taunting both Finn (and presumably also myself) about whether he'd managed to pluck any 'Berries' lately. I presume this was a rather unsubtle reference to my still virginal status and Finn's lack of experience in seducing women, two points I was not all bothered by. Ok well maybe I was starting to get a little bothered by it….
"Dwarf, I'm going to give you some really good relationship advice here, and there's plenty more where this came from," Santana replied in her usual sarcastic manner, "why don't you do something really adult, get a room and fuck it out. Works a treat for me and I can guarantee you won't remember your own name afterwards let alone what you were fighting about."
I caught the smirk on Finn's face from the corner of my eye and would have chastised him there and then if my anger hadn't been predominately focused on Santana.
"Sex is not the answer to everything," I stated firmly crossing my arms across my chest.
"You know what Hobbitt," she replied pulling books from her locker before turning towards me hands on hips. "It's the cure for most of what ails the human condition. Why don't you try it sometime and see."
The familiar snigger behind me really got on my nerves but I felt much better at the yelp that came from the same direction when my heel connected with Finn's shin
"It's not always the answer Santana," I replied shaking my hair out and trying to sound superior. "it's just a distraction from the real issues at hand."
"Fine, why don't you run your little issue by me and I'll give you the Santana solution – what were you and finnocence here squabbling about?"
"Uh," I replied now a little uncertain. Damn it! She'd challenged me and I never backed away from one of Santana's challenges. "We were discussing the appropriateness of Finn choosing to play violent and pointless video games as opposed to joining his loving girlfriend in a period of wholesome intimacy without the pressure of parental supervision."
"Uh-huh." She replied raising a brow and looking askance at Finn who now seemed to be really interested in the inside of his locker. "So here's the thing man-hands. Boys play video games to release tension. School stress, parent stress, relationship stress and here's the big one - NO-SEX stress! Offer him what he wants and see how interested he is in hanging out with two dudes who get plenty of it already." Raising an eyebrow in challenge she simply turned on her heel and sauntered off down the hallway before I had a chance to formulate a suitable reply.
"That's simplistic and completely ridiculous," I shrieked as she walked away, "You obviously know nothing about relationships, because guess what? None of yours last longer than the time it takes for a teenage boy to blow his load, zip his fly and get the hell out of whatever random location you've chosen for your hook-up!"
I heard Finn's sharp intake of breath behind me at the same moment I registered that Santana had stopped walking. As she turned slowly to face me, for a moment I felt real fear.
"Second piece of advice treasure-trail, and this one's just for you," she replied coming right up to me and speaking with deadly quiet in my ear. "You need to get off just as much as he does if you're wound up this tight over your man taking a couple of hours off to chill with his bro's. Ever heard of airing the orchid? Do a little research this afternoon and try it – I guarantee you won't care where he is because you'll be busy flying to the moon all on your own."
"I hate you Santana Lopez," I screamed unable to think of a smarter comeback as she smugly sauntered off down the hall again.
"No you don't," she called back, "take my advice and you'll be thanking me tomorrow."
Stamping my foot in frustration I turned on Finn. "Don't even open your mouth, I don't even know where to begin with your behaviour in that little episode."
Finn looked kind of scared, gingerly closed his locker and slowly backed away before ducking around the corner to his next class.
Slumping against the lockers I gritted my teeth in annoyance at my own behaviour and how easily I'd let myself get riled up. When had I turned into a shrieking harpy capable of scaring the boy I loved into a cowering retreat?
But more importantly - Was Santana right? And would a little sexual release unwind the tightly coiled intensity of my very being? I mean it's not like I didn't have those feelings, I was a passionate artist after all, I just chose to focus all that pent up energy into more constructive avenues, like singing, dancing and study.
The more I thought about it though the more it made sense, and I thought about it lots during the day, to the point where I went through three classes without once raising my hand to answer a question. Good Lord, Santana was right – sex was distracting me and I wasn't even doing it. The dilemma of sex was distracting me from my school work.
And then there was Finn – things had been great since we'd been back together but we'd hit some sort of imaginary wall in the development of our intimacy. Finn was always muttering about getting tagged out stealing third. While I was very fond of metaphors I refused to think of intimacy using sports analogies and so usually ignored him but it was obviously a point of frustration, and maybe he was starting to lose patience. Yes, I freaked out whenever his hand slipped beneath my skirt, and that one time he'd snuck under and actually touched my panties I'd just about leapt off the bed in surprise, but what was I actually afraid of? I trusted Finn, I loved him and I had faith in our relationship and ability to go the distance this time. Not to mention just looking at him sometimes made my mouth go dry and my thighs clench together in anticipation of something, anything, of what I wasn't sure. In the back of my mind I knew it was sexual desire. Why couldn't I just relax and act on it? What was it that was holding me back?
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It wasn't lack of desire that was holding me back, it was my personality; my perfectionist nature, my need to be accomplished at everything, my ambition to always be the best in whatever I did. But sex wasn't a competition, it was an act of intimacy between two people who trusted and cared for each other. Was it the fact that I had no idea of what to do and was afraid to expose my ignorance in front of the person I loved the most? I didn't even know my own body let alone know what to do with Finn's and fumbling around on the bed had taught me very little so far but that I needed something, some kind of release, and I needed it bad. Wasn't I the one who had publicly declared in my first celibacy club meeting that girls wanted it as much as boys did?
I needed help and I knew the one person who could help me with my problem. Marching purposefully down the hall I spotted her approaching her locker from the other direction. Straightening my shoulders and lifting my head I bolstered my inner resolve preparing for what I was about to do.
"Santana?" I said my voice firm enough that she actually turned and met my eye for once, "I want you to teach me about sex."