A/N: Oh, just play along with my fantasies, will ya?
"Well, well, well," Fred said with a wide grin. "Fancy meeting you here!"
"Yes. Fancy that!" George exclaimed with an identical grin on his face.
"No," Blaise groaned, letting his head hang in defeat. "Why is this happening to me?"
"You're just that lucky," Fred said as he wrapped a comfortable arm around Blaise's shoulder while George wound an arm around his waist. "Long time, Zabini."
"Not long enough," Blaise scowled. He shoved the men away and staled towards the buffet table.
The wedding reception was at its high point and the tent was practically filled with Hogwarts alumni. Luna hadn't wasted any resources, apparently…
"I'm in serious trouble," Blaise muttered, sidling close to Draco.
"Oh?" Draco frowned in confusion. "What did you do?"
"It's not what I did!" Blaise sputtered indignantly. "I'm never in the wrong."
"Of course not," Draco murmured.
"But the twins are after me…"
"Again?" Draco asked with disbelief. "What on Earth did you do to them?"
"Nothing!" Blaise insisted. "I didn't do anything! They started it!"
Draco merely shook his head and muttered under his breath.
Then, like an apparition, the two Weasleys appeared from the dancing crowd. "Crap!" Blaise swore, trying to escape, but finding his way blocked by the arrival of the wedding cake.
"Aw, isn't this sweet?" the redheads cooed in unison, casting knowing smiles at Draco and then at Blaise.
"Fuck!" Blaise growled.
"So, what are you two up to?" George asked suggestively, grabbing Draco by the arm.
"Because we heard nothing about this new arrangement," Fred explained, grabbing Blaise by the arm.
"And this could prove very interesting for the next part of our trial," George said, dragging Draco towards the exit of the large hall.
"Especially since you are a clear top and Malfoy is a bottom, you know?" Fred remarked casually, dragging Blaise towards the exit of the large hall.
"WHAT?" Draco and Blaise roared.
They were knocked out a second later, fainting onto the cold floor.
Draco inhaled sharply and his head fell forward as he woke up. He blinked his headache away and squinted into the dark room. He could see vague shadows but that was all. Then he heard a soft groan as Blaise woke up as well.
Suddenly everything was brought back to clarity.
"YOU ARE SO DEAD, ZABINI!" Draco shouted in rage, trying to launch off of the chair he was in, only to discover that he was tied to it. "DAMN IT!"
"Shut up," Blaise groaned as his head pounded from the intensity of the shouting. "You're just giving me a headache."
"I was perfectly fine until you decided to bring those… those... devils with you!"
"Unrequited love!" George exclaimed, jerking the two captive men out of their conversation.
The twins were sitting on a large couch, one leg crossed over the other and arms stretched out along the back.
"Of course!" Fred smirked, smacking his head with his palm for being so daft. "Why didn't we see this earlier?"
Blaise's hearing suddenly turned fuzzy and horror dawned on him. "No, no, no, no, no," he murmured.
"What?" Draco asked. He was starting to feel a bit sluggish too.
"We figured it would be better to give you a dose while you were knocked out," Fred announced with a hearty smile. "That way there is absolutely no need to fuss."
"Dose?" Draco croaked. His body suddenly flashed with warmth. "Wh-what dose?"
"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Blaise asked hysterically. "You could have killed us!"
"Oh, we wouldn't do that," George said in all seriousness. "Killing test subjects is strictly against our policy."
"Blaise," Draco breathed, his head lolling forward. "Something… something's happening."
"You're getting a damned boner! That's what's happening!" Blaise answered fiercely.
"Oh, shit," Draco murmured, closing his eyes.
"This is so exciting!" the twins exclaimed, clapping their hands amidst giddy laughter.
"Let them loose, yeah?" Fred begged George.
George whisked his wand and vanished the ropes. Both Draco and Blaise tried to push away from the chair but ended up on the floor instead. "Get away from me," Blaise said shakily, trying to scramble back so he could put distance between Draco and himself.
"This can't be happening," Draco muttered while wrenching at his hair and pressing his legs together. "Fix us!"
"Like I said, this is an experiment," George repeated patiently. "So we'll let you go once you have completed it."
Blaise could tell that this wasn't like last time. Last time he had almost no control over his emotions. He had all but blacked out.
This time was worse.
This time, he had full control over everything.
And Draco was looking so damned delicious…
"Argh!" he snarled, pressing his hands to his eyes so he wouldn't be able to see. That didn't stop him from hearing.
"I swear to Merlin I'll kill you both with my bare hands!" Draco threatened, his voice giving way at times. "Th-this… you-you could be incarcerated for this! In fact, I'll make damned sure of it!"
"Stop talking," Blaise moaned. Even Draco's voice was causing weird sensations to bloom in the pit of his stomach. "Please, stop talking…"
"Are you alright?" Draco asked, worry bringing him back to his right senses. "Blaise?"
"Well, well, well," George rubbed his hands together. "Something interesting I observe, Fred. Zabini seems to be almost totally out of it while Malfoy is handling all this quite well."
"What do you suppose that means, George?" Fred asked.
"Two theories. A, Zabini is a prude. Or B, Zabini is a pervert."
"Polar opposites," Fred sighed. "That is not a good hypothesis."
Meanwhile, Draco was struggling with his painful erection that just wouldn't let up. Also, an unpleasant itch was crawling up his body but he couldn't scratch it away. "No," he gasped as he fell to the side from lightheadedness.
Blaise was atop him in no time, kissing his breath away.
He reached out to pull his friend closer still until they were melded into one tangled mess of limbs.
Fred and George got off of the sofa and crouched down beside them with studious frowns on their faces. "Now, Mr. Zabini," Fred said after clearing his throat. "How do you feel?"
Blaise broke out of Draco's lip lock to stare down at the flushed man under him. "Great," he whispered, sliding his fingers down Draco's neck and eliciting a strangled whimper out of him. "I feel bloody amazing." He bent down to kiss along the long column of skin he had exposed by undoing some hindering buttons.
"And Mr. Malfoy?" George asked.
All Draco could manage was an unintelligible garble.
"I think he shares Mr. Zabini's sentiments, George," Fred noted importantly.
"W-wait. Blaise," Draco tried to say. He was battling between arousal and repulsion still, unlike his friend who had thrown caution to the wind forty seconds ago. He felt hands racing up and down his chest, knees pressing between his legs and lips gliding over his skin with ease. His senses were in overdrive and he knew that this feeling was all wrong.
He knew it until Blaise slid his hand down between them and rocked his hips.
Melting into the touch, Draco's eyes rolled back and he let out the most spectacular moan while arching into Blaise in an erotic show of flexibility.
That was enough to make the twins blush. It took quite a bit to make those men uncomfortable…
Blaise shivered uncontrollably when he felt the crooning voice vibrate through him. His hands formed fists that bunched up Draco's shirt and he twisted hard with the intention to rip the fabric apart.
"Time out," Fred stammered. He quickly jerked Blaise off of Draco and force-fed him the antidote. George didn't have to be told twice. He did the same with their other test subject.
Unfortunately, the moment the twins let go of the men, they came together like magnets, sliding across the floor and starting off where they had left off – Blaise straddling Draco and attempting to rip his shirt open.
Luckily the antidote starts to work in a matter of five breaths. Unluckily, five breaths was all Blaise needed to fumble about and unzip Draco's pants.
They blinked at each other as the haze cleared, leaving them dazed.
"That's our cue," George declared. Fred followed him out smoothly. They closed the door behind them with a calm thud. They glanced at each other and nodded with grace.
Only then did they make a break for it clear across the corridor and down the stairs, flying as though hell's demons were catching up to them.
Blaise and Draco weren't far behind.
"And that, kids, was the day Uncle Blaise and Uncle Draco realized that they were meant for each other," Fred concluded with a theatric sigh.
While the kids gaped, the adults seemed to be hyperventilating. Sometimes you just have to wonder why the adults wouldn't simply stop the Weasley twins from going to such depth when recounting a memory...
"So," James muttered. "Uncle Draco's the bot-"
"AAAH!" Harry screamed as he clapped a hand over his son's mouth. Hermione had been covering Hugo's ears for many minutes now. Meanwhile Ron was beating up his brothers with couch cushions and the children were rolling around the floor, laughing hysterically.
"I can't wait to tell Scorpius!" Albus crowed. "His dad's a f-"
"AAAH!" Harry screamed again, lunging to clamp his youngest son's mouth shut.
"You two have got to be the worst uncles alive," Ginny tsked.
"What's a prude, Mum?" Lily asked.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Hermione and Ron shrieked, hauling the twins out the door. "NEVER COME BACK!"
Fred and George blinked at the door that had been slammed shut in their faces. They turned around slowly and gazed out into the open street with their hands at their hips.
"What now, Fred?"
"Not too sure, George."
"Time for new test subjects."
"You always know just what I'm thinking."