So I really don't need anything new but I figured that since this is a oneshot and I've been really wanting to do something with this pairing, I'd go ahead and give this a shot.
I tapped my fingers against my stomach as I stared at the TV. I was watching The Towering Inferno, which was one of many painful reminders of how much today's movies sucked. Needless sequels, countless remakes, way too many people who couldn't act their way out of a paper bag; it was just depressing really. Then again, pretty much everything today was depressing with their suckage. The music, the TV shows…pretty much anything I could possibly name wasn't as good as it used to be. The masses had chosen mediocrity over quality. Now I've never been one to follow the idiot masses but their overwhelming stupidity had been making it harder to find stuff of quality. How they could be so mindless and idiotic was beyond me but whatever. I wasn't about to try to understand them. I would lose brain cells in the process.
My phone vibrated loudly from it's spot on the nightstand. It had been going off for quite awhile now but I had been ignoring it in favor of the movie. At this point though, I was starting to get a little annoyed with it so I grabbed it to see who was trying to get a hold of me. As it turned out though, quite a few people had been trying to get a hold of me. There was Colt, who first texted me "How you doin'?" and then sent me another text asking me if I thought cavemen or astronauts would win in a fight. I responded with "hungry" and "cavemen" before investigating all my other missed stuff. A couple missed calls from Cena…ugh. Probably looking to "check up on me" or whatever. How did he even get my number? Yes I did like him a hell of a lot better than most of the people I currently worked with but I hadn't ever given him my number. Oh well. He probably got it from one of the divas. They all had my number. Hell, I currently had texts from Beth, Gail and Natalya all waiting for me plus a missed call from Kelly. Fuck me, I was popular tonight.
I thought about giving more responses but then I just put the phone on silent and put it away. I'd talk to them later. Fluffing my pillow up a bit, I settled back down and returned my attention to the movie. Now though, it was hard for me to keep my focus on it. My mind was drifting to the big countdown I had been doing in my head. I was almost free. I just had to get through the pay per view and I would be done. I was so ready for it. I needed it to just be done and over with already. I loved wrestling but the political bullshit and the "sports entertainment" that was WWE wasn't something I could take anymore. I was just burned the fuck out.
Knock knock knock.
I blinked and looked away from the TV. I was so surprised by the sudden knocking that I didn't make any move to get up and answer the door. I just stared at it dumbly until the person on the other side knocked again. Letting out a long sigh I rolled out of bed and went over to the door. I tried to look out through the little eyehole thing to see who it was that was knocking. I couldn't see a damn thing though because someone was quite obviously putting their hand over it so I couldn't see shit. "Oh great, that's really mature," I said under my breath. I thought about just not answering the door but then they knocked yet again. It helped me come to the realization that this person wasn't just going to go away. So really, I just needed to answer the door and see what the hell they wanted.
I opened up the door and was surprised to see John Morrison of all people standing on the other side of it. My eyebrows shot up in surprise. The last time I checked, he was supposed to be home healing up from his neck injury. "What are you doing here?"
"I had to talk to you," John replied. He let himself in the room without asking for permission.
"Oh yes, please come in," I said sarcastically. "Make yourself right at home." I closed the door behind him before going back and flopping down on the bed. "Please, you're more than welcome here."
He glared at me for a little for that but I didn't let that bother me. I just rested my hands behind my head and tried to go back to my movie. Having him here bothered me a great deal but I wasn't trying to let it show. I refused to let it show. Just because our past attempts at a relationship had enough ups and downs to make for one wicked roller coaster did not mean I was going to let him get to me now. It was over for good and all weirdness and any other feelings would not be felt. I wouldn't let it be felt.
I stayed relatively quiet as the match was being gone over. Tonight I was going to be in a traditional Survivor Series match with DX and the Hardyz versus Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms, Edge and Orton. Hunter and Shawn were taking the lead of the discussion and seemed to mostly be doing it for John, Mike and well probably me even though that hadn't been said. It was no secret I was the oddball of my team. Matt and Jeff were recently reunited and on quite a bit of a roll on their own and DX were well…DX. That was all that really needed to be said. Me on the other hand? Maybe I was the hottest newcomer in the new ECW in the eyes of the fans but backstage it was another story. If I thought I had been clawing my way up in OVW it was nothing compared to how it felt now. About the only person I knew who really saw something in me was Paul Heyman and while I appreciated his support, the truth of the matter was he was far from good standing within this company so now not only did I have this stigma that I was apparently doing to myself, but heat from him was going on to me. At least that's what it felt like. And it wasn't exactly pleasant.
I attempted to snap myself out of my thoughts by focusing on looking like I was paying as much attention as possible when Johnny looked over and caught my eye. We stared at each other for a long moment and while it sounds cliché to say that a sudden spark passed between us, that was pretty much what happened. We both clearly felt it because he quickly looked down, his cheeks turning slightly red and I grinned. He was adorable when he blushed.
"Can we talk?" John asked, sitting down at the foot of my bed and blocking my view of the TV.
"Technically you just did," I pointed out. "And I just did too."
"Phil come on," he huffed. He snagged the remote from me and shut off the TV. "I'm being serious here."
I already knew that so I sighed and reluctantly sat up. "Fine. What do you want to talk about?"
"Yes I am."
Long awkward silence. The eyes that I had made me take notice of the man before me fell to his lap as he struggled on what to say next. I tried to wait patiently but as I rapidly realized why he was here and struggling so much with what he wanted to say, I couldn't just stay silent. "Did you come here to beg me not to go?"
The way he cringed at my tone told me what I needed to know.
"Tell them you don't want to go," John begged me as we packed up our stuff. The spark we had felt that night at Survivor Series led to a little date out at a late night diner and then some talking over the phone because he was on Raw and ECW traveled with Smackdown. Our schedules just didn't allow us to be together; at least not until he was drafted to ECW. Once that happened we spent pretty much all our time together and led to a romance that JBL apparently christened "WWE's version of Beauty and the Beat"-and I sure as hell wasn't the beauty in this relationship.
"I tried babe," I said helplessly. I zipped up my bag and shook my head. "They won't listen to me."
"Make them listen."
"Make them…Johnny I'm not Cena or Orton or any of those guys! I have NO say in shit." I sat down and ran my hand through my hair. "I tried and they said I'm going anyway. So unless you can somehow convince them to let me stay with you or you come with me-"
"I tried that too," John said unhappily. "They won't listen."
"Well see, there you go. We're spokes in their machine according to them. We go where they want when they want and we do what they want and if we don't we're gone. We're expendable." I would have ranted some more but then I saw the crestfallen look on his face. Sighing softly I got back up and wrapped my arms around his waist. "We'll be alright," I promised. "We will." I gave him a soft kiss. "We'll work it out. We won't let this shit tear us apart."
"I think we've had this conversation before," I commented. I scratched a spot on my leg, not so much because it itched but because I just needed something to do with my hands. "And I remembered it ending with me going anyway and you cheating on me with Mike." I chuckled dryly at that memory. "Thank god we're not dating. It'll save me from that trouble again."
He flinched at the words. "This isn't about that," he told me. "I just think you're making a mistake-"
"A mistake? I'm leaving because I'm sick of this shit. The mistake would be staying and still being unhappy."
John shook his head. "Phil please. We need you don't-"
"We? What is this "we" shit? The company don't need me. They act like they do now because I'm really going to go but the truth of the matter is, when I said I was a spoke on the wheel, I really meant it. Just because I'm the best doesn't mean they'll die without me. They don't actually NEED me." I reached forward and poked his chest. "What you're really trying to say is that YOU want me to stay. You WANT me to stay for your own reasons. You always want me to stay." I shook my head. "You always come in begging me to stay for some reason or the other. Don't you think it's kind of pathetic?"
"Phil PLEASE!" John begged. He was following me all around, literally about to throw himself at my feet and hug my ankles to keep me from going any further. I had come to the hotel to see him, to give him a little surprise and what did I find? Him riding Mike like there was no fucking tomorrow. Needless to say Mike was now sporting a black eye and a busted lip for that shit. Part of me had wanted to hit John too but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I was trying to make with the storming out but now that he had been caught, John didn't want to let me go. "Please I'm SORRY! I'm SORRY!"
"You're sorry?" I repeated angrily. I had to stop and turn around to face him now. "You're SORRY?"
He flinched and took a step back before nodding.
I stared at him for a long moment before laughing in disbelief. "You're sorry? What the FUCK is sorry going to do for me John? Huh? Is it gonna fucking take it back?" He waited for about two seconds for an answer before snapping. "IS IT?"
John shook his head and looked down. He looked like a total kicked puppy but I couldn't even begin to feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him. I was way too angry. A whole bunch of questions were swirling around in my mind. How long had this been going on? Ididn't think it was the first time. They had seemed WAY too familiar with each other for it to be the first time. Was John even going to confess if he hadn't gotten caught? How could he do this? Was I not enough? I thought we were doing okay, how could he do this? I wanted to ask these questions but he couldn't bring himself to do it. My mouth was too dry, my throat had closed up on him and honestly, I really didn't want to know the answer to that. I was too afraid of what he would hear. So after just standing there and glaring at John for what felt like a lifetime, I forced myself to turn back around and walk away.
"Maybe I am," John admitted with a shrug. That threw me right off because he never admitted anything like that before. He usually vehemently denied accusations of being that way. "I'm not going to argue with you about that. Not tonight."
"Then what exactly-"
"You're right. I want you to stay. For me. I still love you I don't want you to go."
"And why exactly do you think this argument is going to work?"
"Because you still love me."
"Dude…you still love him."
My eyes narrowed angrily as I looked over at Colt. I was at Colt's place playing Mortal Kombat with him but apparently he was going to be bringing up THIS subject again. "Dude, for the thousandth time, I don't fucking love him. Not anymore."
Colt shook his head. "Do you have any idea how much I DON'T believe you?"
"Do you have any idea how much I want you to drop this fucking subject?"
"Come on man, I'm telling you this for your own good." Colt actually paused the game and gave me a serious look. "Before we started playing this game, you spent like an hour ranting about Ron and what a douche he was even though you've never had a problem with him before he started dating John. And then you spent another hour ranting about Mike, even though he and John aren't together anymore. And then you-"
"Are you nearing a point here Cabana?" I cut off impatiently. "Because I would really like to know what it is you're getting at."
"My POINT is that you're still in LOVE with John."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are. Stevie Wonder can see you're in love with him."
"Dude, I don't know Stevie Wonder and he don't know me."
"But if he did he could see you were still in love with Mr. Glitter Abs."
I let out a long sigh and counted to ten in my head to keep my temper in check. Truth of the matter was, Colt was right. I was still in love with John. But I didn't want to admit that. I wasn't ready for that. "Even if I was-and I'm talking if so don't you start saying shit-it don't matter. I can't ever trust him again and I'm not messing with getting back together with him and then just having to be worried and jealous all the time. It's not worth it."
"True that, but seriously dude, you never really got that closure with him."
"I think catching him riding Mike's dick was closure enough."
"So you say. But I say you're full of shit."
"Lucky for me, I don't care what you say."
"Oh ouch. My feelings. You're lucky I know you love me or there would be a problem."
"Surrrrrre Cabana, whatever you say.
"No," I denied. Even now the denial sounded weak in my head. Truth of the matter was, Colt and John were both right. I still did love him. Maybe not as strongly as I once did but the emotion was still there. I never tried to really act on it though. John had tried several times to mend bridges and rekindle what we had but I wouldn't let him do it. As much as it pained me to do (though I didn't ever show that pain) I couldn't take him back. Not after what he did. I couldn't trust him not to cheat again. I wasn't going to be the fool who got hurt like that again. And even if John didn't cheat, even if he did learn his lesson that time, I still wouldn't be able to trust him completely, which would just doom their relationship. And quite frankly, I wasn't willing to put John through that. I wouldn't admit it to anybody, but I'd set myself up for doom before I did the same to him. "I don't. I'm sorry. Now please go."
"You don't mean that," John said. There was more than a little hint of desperation in his voice. "Phil come on. You don't have to go. Demand changes and get what you want out of Vince and them. They're desperate to keep you at this point you can-"
"No John," I said, a lot more firmly this time. "Now go." He didn't move. I waited and waited but he wouldn't budge. "Fucking god damn it I said GET OUT!"
He scowled before lunging forward and giving me a hard kiss on the lips. My eyes just about popped out of my head and I was literally too shocked to push him away. I just sat there dumbly before giving in and kissing him back. I was used to dominating our kisses but this time he had taken control, angrily shoving his tongue into my mouth and deepening the kiss. My hand reached up to grab his hair but before I could even touch his long locks he broke the kiss and gave me a heated glare. I stared back at him, unable to speak. I just looked at him like a total dumbass before trying to kiss him again. He was the one that pushed me away though. He pushed me back and walked out of the room without another word. I blinked several times, trying to absorb what just happened. When it became abundantly clear that it was too much for my brain to handle right now, I shook my head and turned the TV back on so I could finish the movie.