Disclaimer- I don't own anything you can recognize.
Dear Voldemort...Well, I guess it should be Tom Riddle, shouldn't it?
This letter was written to get one plain point across to you. You lost. Your plans failed.
Oh, don't go looking for a single plan wrong, there were so many. You want an explanation, don't you?
Let's start at the beginning...
Godric's Hallow. You know that town, don't you? You went there- Pettigrew in tow- to kill Lilly, James and Harry Potter. It backfired. You see, it was there even then. Even then. Needless to say, that plan didn't go well.
Next on the chopping block of plans gone bad would be during Harry Potter's first year. Really, stealing from Dumbledore- someone Harry really liked- was a bad idea. Wouldn't have worked either way, but it was just a bad idea. To stop you, Harry did everything...and won. Wow. Brave move, you lost to an eleven year old, because he was pissed you were going to hurt someone he cares about.
Oh, and when he was a second year- it was Lucius, wasn't it, -a horcrux got out. I thank god it was a child, because I can only imagine what would happen if Ginny was being taken over by someone that he would recognize as you. You hurt his friends. What did he do in return? Kill a basilisk...and a horcrux. Who in the world would possibly call that a win for you? You hurt his friends. He was so angry because you hurt someone he cared about.
Third year, you didn't do much then. But he is still angry at you that your precious Wormy went and framed an innocent man. Wow, he loved his godfather...and blames you for the damage...Wormy signed your death warrant. Because you, through Wormy, hurt someone he cared about.
I hope you get the point now.
Fourth year, there was a scare at the world cup. Not you, you didn't like it. But you know, you hurt friends there. People did it in your name. Oops. More mad, if possible. Then you threw him in the spotlight, which makes him irritable anyway. Add in your lovely spy going through all that trouble to attack the other contestants...then you killed someone he liked. Ouch. No wonder he won that night. He's ANGRY and your actions aren't helping. If he's as powerful as you think he is...why do you keep pissing him off?
Fifth year, you didn't show yourself. Everyone called him crazy, he was tortured. Fine, he didn't mind. Now when someone decided to hurt his friends- Umbitch, sorry, Umbridge, got hurt back. You had nothing to do with it, but you didn't stop it. Umbridge has a spot on the hate scale barely below you. But the end of the year, that's what's important here. Really, you led him to the ministry to get a prophecy that didn't matter much anyway, and killed his godfather. Look, if I didn't know you were crazy already, I'd say you were now. Look at it this way. He has more than enough reasons to want you dead, and you can't kill him. Wow. That is when you lost the war completely. I'm sorry, you lost. You hurt someone he cared about.
Having the order put out to kill the one person that really held him back...I'm not sure why you thought that was a good idea. So long as the Headmaster was alive, then Harry would hold back, he would wait for an ok, or a sign he was going about it the right way. Now remove the one saying it was ok...Harry was a loose cannon pointed directly at you.
This year- you have been pretty much suicidal. Did you know that there is such a thing as suicide by cop, where you get a cop to shoot you? This is suicide by Potter. And yes, you will die. Die. You don't have much time left, Voldemort. I'd suggest you stop cutting it into pieces.
But you'll notice something, as I did, about the plans that failed. You- Voldemort- somehow hurt the ones he loved. That's why you were stopped.
I'd like to tell you that you could cut your losses and go to China or somewhere, but really, you can't. Not only would your bootlickers not follow, well, Harry would. Harry's not happy with you. He has too many reasons to want you gone. I don't think you can do anything to stop him now. But if it makes you feel better, you don't have long left.
He's almost done killing off the pieces of your soul. Stupid idea to put them in such obvious places...but then again, who said you were smart. Goodbye, Tom. I hope that the devil likes you more than Harry, because you're going to be in Hell for a very long time.
A friend of Harry's.
P.S. I hope that you did something stupid like connecting your minions to you through the marks. That would be such an easy way to kill them all when we get you...and there is no way out of the idea of us getting you.
P.P.S Have a nice birthday, it'll be your last that you have in this world. I give you three months, unless you feel like making it shorter by attacking Hogwarts, home of many of Harry's close friends.
P.P.P.S I hope you aren't stupid enough to plan that...but then, I never thought you had brains, and this whole letter seems to tell me you don't. Isn't it amazing how far brainless oafs can go? Minister Fudge is a prime example.
P.P.P.P.S. Do us a favour and get rid of Fudge, Please. He's just annoying.
A/N Lol. I got this idea when I was told to write a letter to someone who bullies a friend of mine. English teacher put everyone's names in a hat and pulled out his name, for me to write to. My letter explained in small monosyllabic words, that either he stops being a bully, or he'll be an expelled and well hated bully. Luckily, he chose not to challenge me.