A/N: Yet another new idea from me! The others weren't getting much of a response, so I decided to go on with this idea. I'll be continuing White Blank Page, but not the previous fics I had up. I hope you guys like this one, since my first two weren't getting much of a response. Okay, now about this fic. Since music is a big muse for my writing, I'm finally writing a fic that will allow me to include the music I'm listening to into the story. This is sort a testing the water draft. I've only written this chapter, and don't plan to waste time working on a second chapter unless people like this one. :) I hope you do! Note: The idea for the time counting came from (500) Days of Summer, but the stories are nothing alike. I also wanted to let you know now that there will be M Rated scenes in this fic, but that will be in later chapters, and they will be marked.
Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.
Summary: Rose Hathaway meets Dimitri Belikov on a whim and gets involved with him, without knowing much about him. But the two hit it off and she makes some of the best memories of her life with him. But after a few months, the happiness Rose felt at the beginning leaves her when he does something unforgivable. These are their 200 days together. Will their be a day 201? or 300? It all depends on whether Rose is able to find it in her heart to forgive, and whether or not Dimitri can prove himself worthy. Sometimes love alone is not enough.
Quelqu'un m'a dit
"You know, you can tell me what happened...if you want."
"I know." I told her with my face in my hands. I was sitting down on the floor of my apartment with my back against the door, knees to my chest. I probably should tell her what happened, I thought, but I was embarassed. I didn't want her to think I wasn't good enough for him.
"I wont judge." She said, realizing that maybe I had done something wrong and that it was because of me that the relationship ended. After all, she had no clue what had happened between Dimitri and I.
"I know, Liss."
My shoulders started shaking again and she wrapped her other arm around me so that I was completely enveloped by her. Her hands locked together and she held me muttering comforting words into my hair.
I lifted my hair and rested my forehead on her cheek, once again saying:
I knew a lot of things, but I could be so stupid sometimes. There had been signs, but I didn't think anything of them. The way he wouldn't look me in the eye when he answered his phone. The way he told me the mark on his neck was nothing. How could I not have realized? God, I was so stupid.
Some time had passed before I pulled away from her arms. She let me go and got up as did I. I breathed a sigh and wiped my face with my sleeve. I checked the time and told her that she better go home.
She protested, but then I reminded her that she had a fiancé to worry about, and then she left.
The rest of the day was a blur.
My alarm clock went off so early in the morning that I couldn't tell if it was even light outside. But then again, I did have my blinds completely shut. If the bright sun was shining, I had no clue.
Good, I thought, and hit the snooze button a couple more times over the span of about an hour.
I finally became conscious enough to remember how to shut the damn thing off and did. I slept the rest of the day, dreaming of memories.
I was walking through the park today alone, because I needed a day away from work to let things blow over. I had walked in on my boss nearly having sex with a coworker/friend the day before and called in sick today to avoid them both.
It was my boss who answered the phone very awkwardly muttering short sentences about how he hoped I 'felt better soon'. I nearly laughed. He knew I wasn't sick, and yet, he gave me the day off.
Guess he wanted to avoid me too. Not that I was going to complain though.
I made my way slowly past the playground where kids were crowded around the play set running left and right chasing each other. I passed a picnic table where a little girl stood crying in front of her mom telling her that a little boy pushed her.
Looking ahead of me, I realized the only place to go forward was into the woods. In this particular park, there were plenty of trails to choose from, but I didn't know the difference between 'Rocky Climb' and 'Hill Adventure,' so I just went right.
I would later regret this. Who knew hills could be so deadly to my calves? I hadn't been to the gym in a while, and my legs burned each time the slope inclined. How many fucking hills could there be in the world? And why in the hell was my twenty year old body whining so much?
I let out a cry of frustrating as I stared at a sign in front of me. I was barely half way done with the trail and I wanted to die. Why did I have to enter the woods? Did my subconscious think that burning all these calories would help burn that picture out of mind?
That picture of my boss's hand rubbing against her—
"Oh, God." I said to myself and swallowed hard. There was a bench a few feet ahead of me, so I forced my legs over to it and sat down, breathing a sigh of relief. I sat there for I don't know how long and then finally pulled myself to and stood up.
I didn't want to be stranded out here now did I? I had a while before it started getting dark out, but I was getting bitten by things I'm sure I probably had never heard of and these buggers were starting to make me itch.
After walking over a couple more lumps of hell, which is what I decided to call them from now on, I made it to a clearing that I assumed was for families who felt like having a classic picnic from time to time.
There was a little stream coming from the other side of the clearing that led downhill, a few grills for those families I was talking about, and a bench, but that's not what caught my attention.
Across the clearing was a man with his dog. From far away I could tell the man was a giant. Not huge, I thought, as I blatantly stared at him, watching as he continuously threw a frisbee for his dog to retrieve. But he was tall enough that he would tower over me. I was awfully short though.
I turned to continue my way on the trail, but then I suddenly heard someone calling for…me?
Stopping in my tracks, I realized the guy was yelling at me, so I faced him. He kept pointing at me and all I could think was, 'Oh my God, I'm going to get attacked in the woods by a man and his dog'. I looked around to find something to defend myself.
Pinecone. Grass. Frog. Stick. Leaf—Stick!
I lifted a rather heavy and large stick—more like branch, and held it, bracing myself for anything. I wondered if anyone would hear my screams from this deep in the woods. Probably not.
All these thoughts wrangled my mind. Why didn't I tell anyone where I was going-ugh! Why did I have to go into the damn woods to clear my stupid mind? I don't go into the woods! When they look for my body, they won't expect to find it in the woods!
"What are you doing?" He called with a smile on his face. Yeah, smiling because he knew I'd be an easy target. He kept pointing. "I'm not pointing to the stick. I'm pointing to the frisbee!"
He started making his way over to me. What? Frisbee?
Then I looked down to my feet. On the ground, like two feet away from me, was the bright green Frisbee he had been asking for.
Oh. Well, hello, I'm stupid.
He seemed to realize that I realized what he was talking about and called his dog over to him as I picked up the Frisbee, ready to throw it over to him. When I looked up though, he was already too close. I just stood there, looking stupid, with the frisbee in my hands as I waited for him to get to me.
It was when he got to me that I realized how unbelievably gorgeous this guy was. It was almost funny that I thought he was going to murder me a few moments ago. He looked like the nicest guy ever, a smile spread across his face, amusement in his eyes.
He had tanned olive skin with brown hair and brown eyes. I was usually a girl for colored eyes, but this guy might just be enough to change my preference forever. I swallowed and held the frisbee out to him as I felt something cold touch my leg.
Sam, the dog, backed away from me and sat down beside the man, looking at me expectedly while his tail wagged furiously behind him.
"He's waiting for you to throw it."
My eyes went back to my new dream husband. I looked down at the frisbee in my hands and then at the guy again.
"You do it." I told him, because I knew that if I tossed it that it would fall short or go off in a completely different direction.
Once again, I held the thing out to him. He crossed his arms and kept smiling. He shook his head no.
"Nope. I've thrown it enough. She wants you to throw it."
I looked down at the dog and thought that she probably didn't care who threw it.
"Who are you, the dog whisperer?"
I threw the dang thing before he could answer and watched as it flew off and landed right by the stream. In the mud. I laughed.
He turned around and looked at where it landed and said, "You don't play fetch much do you?" To which I shook my head and watched as the dog picked up the dirty frisbee and pranced over to the water.
I watched as Sam trapped the frisbee in her teeth while she let the flowing stream rinse off the mud.
"Mmm." The guy agreed and pulled off his backpack, which I hadn't even noticed he was carrying and took out a water bottle.
He held it out to me. I took it and opened it, nodding thanks.
"You looked thirsty."
"I was." I admitted and Sam was beside us once more. She gave the man the frisbee and he took it, shoving it into his backpack. I snuck a peak to see what else was in the bag and saw that he also had a small first aid kit and what looked like a lunch bag. My stomach growled.
"You want the other half of my sandwich?" He fished through what I guessed was the lunch bag and pulled out a plain turkey sandwich. "I'm probably not going to—"
He didn't finish, because I had already taken the sandwich and start eating it. He let out a small laugh and smiled at me. I wanted to take out my phone and have him smile for a picture, but I thought that might be a little weird.
"Sorry. I don't usually do this."
"Take food from strangers?"
I laughed whole heartedly and said, "No, well…yes, but I meant this." I gesture to the forest around me. It was a completely new environment to me. I tried to think back to any time that I had gone into the woods like this. No memories surfaced.
"Ah, so you're not an outdoor girl?"
It sounded ridiculous, but once he said that, I kind of wanted to be an outdoor girl, just so I could feel closer to this world he seemed to be interested in.
My leg started itching again, but instead of heading straight out of this place, I stayed put intriguied by the man with the dog.
"It's okay," he said when he saw my face. "Most girls aren't."
I don't know why, but I said:
"I'm not most girls."
…which made for a small awkward moment between us as we stared at each other, both of us stuck with nothing to say. Thankfully the dog started barking and my dream husband started talking again.
"I'm Dimitri, by the way. Dimitri Belikov."
"Rose," I told him. "Rose Hathaway."
I sat down in the break room at work for lunch and reached into my pocket pulling out the little slip of paper Dimitri had given me after we walked the rest of the trail together.
Probably I had read it like fifty times already. I read it once more.
Just in case I don't run into you in the clearing again.
Just below that was his number.
It was after we had made it out of the trail that he gave it to me. I had walked with Dimitri to his car, finishing up my story about how I had ended up in that clearing. He was listening intently as he opened the trunk for Sam to jump in.
He said something about being lucky to have run into me.
After, he held out his hand.
"Well, it was nice meeting you Rose Hathaway."
The smile on my face barely faltered. I guess this was it. Neither of us was going to make a move. Not me, because I was too chicken, and not Dimitri, because…he had his own reasons.
I took his hand. "You too."
I didn't watch him drive away. I located my car and slipped out of my shoes before I sat down in the seat, thinking, oh sweet heaven in form of an automobile. I turned on the air full blast and sat there for a moment. The song I'd been listening to before I decided to embark on my park adventure started playing and I rested my head back on the seat and hummed along.
The knock on my window nearly scared the hell out of me. Dimitri looked sheepish as he stood waiting for me to roll down the window.
Was this happening? I asked myself and turned the air down so I would be able to hear him. The music continued playing quietly.
I rolled down the window and he held out a small paper in his hand.
"From me and Sam," said Dimitri and he ran back to his car.
I slowly unfolded the note and read it.
I looked over at Dimitri in his car to find him smiling at me. I smiled back and waved.
Now, sitting in the break room, yesterday felt like a dream. Who in the world goes into the woods one day on a whim, nearly dies of exhaustion, and meets a guy and his dog all in one day? I guess you could say I got around.
I scoffed at myself and attracted the attention of a coworker. My favorite coworker, I might add. She got her lunch out of the staff fridge and sat down in front of me, ripping the paper out of my hands.
"Who's this from?" Lissa, my best friend, asked as she read the paper.
Her whole face brightened and I could see the excitement ready to burst out of her. She asked way too loudly, "Are you serious? Don't get me excited over nothing, Rose Hathaway. If this isn't from a guy, I'll be heartbroken."
I shushed her and stole the paper back then put it safely into my pocket once more. If Dimitri only knew that I was hoarding this paper around like a crazy woman, pulling it out every chance I could. "Poor guy didn't know what he was getting into." I had said more to myself than to Lissa, but she heard.
"Is he hot?"
I laughed and nodded. "Sexy."
I pictured Dimitri in the white t-shirt he had on when I met him, the contours of his body just barely visible under the fabric, and my mouth watered. He was dead sexy.
"Oh, yes! This is the best day of my life."
Lissa put her hands up and started shaking in her seat, like she was overcome with happiness.
"Why is Lissa so excited?"
Mia walked up to us and I stopped the giggling I was doing. I looked away, not able to face Mia after what I saw the other day. Lissa kept laughing but didn't answer. Mia looked at the two of us and got the message. She turned around and left the break room.
"Aww," cooed Lissa after Mia was gone. "Come on. Give the poor girl a break." She started eating her salad, popping a slice of cucumber into her mouth.
"What? No," I said disgusted. "I walked in on her about to have sex with Stan. That's not exactly something I can erase from my memory."
I finally opened the little lunch pail I had my lunch in and took out my sandwich. It was turkey. I smiled.
"Maybe Sexy man can help you."
The two of us started laughing again. "I hope so."
We finished eating our lunches and went back to work. The two of us were employees at a small music store that sold new and used CDs, records, and so on.
Our boss, the disgusting sex guy, was named Stan and was in his forties. Before the whole 'sex' incident, I considered him a great boss and an all around cool person…well as cool as a forty year old named Stan could be. Now all I saw when I thought about him or even looked at him was his face when he realized I had just walked into his office just as he was about to deflower Mia.
Liss and I had just made it to the front counter when Stan called us all together and gave each of us thick sharpies. He pointed to a now cleared wall of the room. What once was plastered with gig posters was now a wall as white and pale as Stan himself.
He explained, "Okay, from now on this wall is for us to dirty up." He uncapped his sharpie and wrote down a lyric from the song that was playing over the speakers. "I want you all to do just as I am doing now. Just whenever you feel like it, grab a sharpie—sharpies only please—and write down something from a song. Let it be known that it does have to be lyrics. No, 'I love Christian and I want to have his babies.'" He remarked looking at Lissa. She blushed. "Or 'When will Rose finally say yes to going on a date with me?'" He said tightly, looking over at another coworker of mine, Adrian.
Adrian threw his hands up and opened his mouth to protest, but Stan had already started walking away. Adrian grumbled to himself, "Yeah, we'll see who is laughing when she says yes. Bastard." He noticed me watching and straightened himself up.
He walked over to the wall and looked at me pointedly as he wrote, 'I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me.' He gave me another look and walked into the shelves, a determined glint in his green eyes.
Lissa nudged me with her shoulder and whispered, "Looks like Sexy man has some competition."
I shook my head. I had ignored Adrian's protests up until now and I could continue to ignore them. No biggie.
Liss and I waited until the others had written down their lines. The wall looked bare even with various lyrics written all over, but I knew that with time, the wall would look awesome. If Stan wasn't gross to me now, I'd go into his office and tell him that I thought this was a good idea.
Lissa seemed to think for a moment and wrote in her prim and proper script, 'All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you.' A Taylor Swift lyrics, I assumed.
I could already imagine Christian, her snarky boyfriend, stopping by the store and Lissa pointing out her line so he could see. No doubt the line would spark a love fest between them. One that I would probably have to witness. Ugh.
Picking an empty spot far away from Adrian's, I wrote a line from a song I'd been listening to a lot lately, 'Mais qui est-ce qui m'a dit que toujours tu m'aimais.'
"What does that mean?" Mia asked, as she was watching us both from a chair near the wall. She had a small smile on her face. I tried to smile back.
"'But who can tell me that today you are loving me?' From a Carla Bruni song." I explained further.
Lissa patted my back. "Rose met a guy."
"Oh did she?" Mia asked, with a venturing tone to her voice. She knew I was scrutinizing her for what I walked in on.
"Yeah, and I didn't have to stoop down to fucking my boss." I said bluntly and walked away before I could see the shocked expression that covered her face.
Lissa followed me and we stood together at the counter and since the wall was directly in front of us, I watched as Mia wrote down her line.
'I just want back in your head'
Tegan and Sara. Mia knew I would get it. She knew I listened to them. She discreetly side glanced me and walked to the back of the store to do what ever job that was needed to be done. Probably inventory or something.
Or maybe she'd gone back to get in some more overtime with the boss.
Lissa grasped my forearm gently. "I think you're being too hard on her."
I pulled my arm away and walked over to a customer to see if they needed help.
I called him that night, and he asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner.
I jumped at the chance, and said yes.
I finally dragged myself out of bed today to answer my phone. I had left it on the table by my keys. It had already rung twice. I thought about ignoring it, but by the third time, I realized this person wasn't going to stop, so I answered the call before checking who it was.
My voice was groggy and deeper than usual. It took a moment for the person on the line to respond.
"Rose?" It was Adrian. I sighed and closed the phone, hanging it up.
I made it half way back to bed when it started ringing again. Frustrated, I padded back to the phone and answered it.
"What do you want, Adrian?"
I made sure my voice clearly showed how annoyed I was.
"I heard you and Dimitri broke up and I wanted to know if you wanted to—"
I scoffed and hung up again. This time I made sure my phone was on silent, and then I went back to bed.
The last thought I had before I fell asleep once more was that this wasn't the first time Adrian had showed how big of a disregard he had for other people and their feelings.
Dimitri and I had seen each other a couple times prior to today and I normally wouldn't invite a boyfriend over to my workplace, but he insisted that he meet Lissa and since she was scheduled to work today, I didn't protest.
Well actually, I did, but then Dimitri kissed me and I forgot.
The two of us walked up to the music shop. Dimitri opened the door and wrapped an arm around me so he could kiss my temple. I leaned into him and caught the eyes of the person at the counter.
There Adrian stood, his green eyes on fire. I could see the rage burning deep within him. Stan was standing next to him, clearly catching on to what was happening. He gave him a sharpie and exclaimed, "Raging emotions make for a good line of the wall! Go Adrian, Go!"
Dimitri looked confused and I stood there completely annoyed at Adrian.
Adrian took the sharpie out of Stan's hands and stormed right past us, bumping into the side of Dimitri. Excuse you, I thought. He scribbled all over the wall, 'If you stay with that asshole, it's gonna do you harm.' A line from The Swell Season's In These Arms.
Adrian spit out that he was going to go outside for a break, probably to smoke, and then he was gone.
Stan was left behind the counter shaking his head muttering about the crazy things that some of his employees did. Not long after, he went back into his office.
"Well, this is where I work."
We laughed together and I kissed him, not caring if Adrian was watching us through the window, a deadly look on his face. Whatever, I thought and pulled away from the kiss.
"So, baby, got any musical interests other than the crazy stuff you play in your car?"
He walked over to a shelf of CDs and started looking through them. After he found one, He opened it after saying he'd buy it and took the disc out, holding it out of my vision so I couldn't see it.
"Got anywhere I can play this?"
I showed him the system that would play the song over the store speakers and he put the disc in.
I automatically knew what song it was from the opening note. It was Feeling the Pull by The Swell Season, which was funny, because the line Adrian had wrote on the wall was from the same band. Guess both men thought music was the way to my heart. With Adrian, it didn't work. Dimitri? He couldn't look sexier.
Well I'm heading back to pack a bag to head out on the road to take away what I know is mine…
I grabbed Dimitri from across the counter and pulled his lower lips between my teeth and then kissed him.
I'm feeling the pull, dragging me off again and I'm feeling so small against the big sky tonight…
"You started listening to them?" I told him and he nodded. "I'll pretend that you didn't choose a song from my favorite band on purpose." I joked and he shook his head.
I faintly heard Stan call from the office, "I like him, Rose!"
"Me too." I said softly before planting another one on Dimitri.
The CD was half through another song, Fantasy Man, which was one of my favorites when Adrian walked back in, Lissa in tow.
"There they are." Adrian told her and sulked to the back of the store.
"He really needs to chill," I remarked and smiled when I saw the look on Lissa's face. She was openly gaping at Dimitri. Told you he was sexy, I thought when I recalled our first conversation about Dimitri.
"Hi, I'm Lissa." She held her hand out for Dimitri to take, which he did, and surprised her by pulling her into a hug. She made a little noise that sounded like a cross between a gasp and a squeal. Eep!
I laughed at her and Dimitri came back to my side.
"Dimitri." He introduced himself and then Lissa suggested that we should have a double date soon with Christian.
I said something about Christian probably not wanting to come out of his cave and Dimitri kissed my lips, telling me to be nice. When I pulled back, I saw Lissa staring at the two of us with a look of wonder on her face.
"Well, we better get to work." I told Dimitri, noticing it was time for us to clock in. He checked the time and nodded, pulling me in for another kiss that was a bit longer.
"I'll pick you up when you get off?"
He had his hands cupping my face. I relished in the feeling. "Okay."
Then he kissed me one more time, and left, every step or so turning around to look at me. I remember asking him a while ago why he did that.
Lissa and I talked about him after he left and she couldn't stop telling me how happy she was for me.
Dimitri walked me up to my apartment after our third date and threaded our fingers together as we stood in front of my unopened door. He was inches away from me when he rested his other hand on my neck. It was really quiet in the hallway, you could hear our breaths.
He spoke softly, "Did you have fun?" His eyes searched mine.
I squeezed his hand and bit my lip. "I had the best time ever." His lip just barely curled into a small smile.
He didn't answer, but instead curled me into his arms and kissed me. We had kissed a couple times before, but just pecks. This kiss was a bit more than that. The electric buzz that overwhelmed my body held me in place as I pulled him closer so I could wrap my arms around his neck.
He pulled away a short time later to catch his breath and planted couple small kisses on my neck, resting his head there for a moment.
"I think I just gave you an answer." He said and then touched my cheek before heading toward the elevator. He turned around a couple times to watch me standing there as I looked after him.
"Why do you keep glancing back at me?" I called out to him as he stood in the elevator.
The doors started closing, but he reached his hand out to prevent them from shutting.
"I like to see your face after I kiss you."
And then he let the doors close after him.
The meaning of his words sunk in and I reached my hands up to my lips, still able to feel the warmth of his mouth on mine.
I walked into my apartment and fell asleep with a smile on my face that night.
I walked into work with sunglasses to cover the dark bags under my eyes and a scarf to hide from the cold. My lips were chapped and I'm pretty sure my hair was a mess. I had to walk to work today after my car refused to start.
Any other day, I'd give Dimitri a call and he'd be at my place to pick me up within minutes.
Today was different, and it would be different from now on.
We were over.
I almost started crying again, but then Lissa ran out from behind the counter and pulled me into her arms. She pushed the sunglasses out of my eyes so they rested on my eggnest hair.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She opened her purse that was hanging around her shoulder and pulled out some concealer. She wiped the tears out of my eyes and started dabbing some of her makeup on me.
"It's not exactly your color, but it'll do for now," She said and I was thankful that I had a friend I could count on for everything.
After she was done with that, she brushed my hair out a bit and pulled it up into a bun for me.
She went to unlock the door so we could get to work, but I stopped her and looked her in the eye.
"Thank you, Lissa. Really...thank you."
She gave me a sad smile and rested a hand on my shoulder.
"It's no problem."
We walked out to work together.
She explained to me about some new shipments we were getting in, and I tried to listen, but I had a line from a song stuck in my head, so I waited til she was done and then I walked over to the wall and wrote,
'Can you lie next to her and give her your heart as well as your body? Can you lie next to her and confess your love?' White Blank Page, Mumford and Sons.
I didn't allow my feelings to get the better of me as I stared at the words on the wall. I had to stop with the crying.
Lissa watched me from the counter. I remembered that she still didn't know what had ended my relationship with Dimitri. Without looking at her, I said:
"He cheated on me, Liss."
A/N: I didn't read the whole thing as a whole, and edited a lot so if there are any errors or something that doesn't make sense, make sure to tell me in a review! Or if you liked it and want to read more, please review with something as well! Thanks for reading. Check my profiles for any updates.