Sam pulled the books out of his locker for the last time, slamming the door shut and listening to the whirring little click that signaled the end of his life at Mckinley. He knew that voice, and he was hoping he wouldn't have to face it.
"Yeah?" He kept his eyes at the locker in front of him, hoping it would be nothing more than a pat on the back and a 'good luck at your new school, Sam'. Not that it was ever that easy.
"Can you please look at me?"
Sam sighed, turning right into Blaine's eyes. Those eyes still made his knees weak, all these years later. Those same soft lips and gorgeous cheek bones… "What do you want, Blaine?"
"I want to know why you're leaving Mckinley."
"I told you, I told the whole glee club. My dad got a new job and Carmel is closer."
"Oh, so you're saying it has nothing to do with me?"
Sam tensed, "Why would it have anything to do with you?"
"I don't know. I just think it's funny. You have all these great friends, a school you're finally fitting into, a new girlfriend… and then I show up and all of the sudden you're not even trying to work this out."
"I'm still going to be around," Sam said, "Mercedes and I are still going to date, not that it's any of your business."
Blaine fell silent, his lips tightening in a way that had always spelled trouble. "… Yeah, Mercedes... I heard the word on the street is that you're straight now."
Sam jerked as if he'd been burned, then glanced around the hallway to see if anyone had heard Blaine. The hall was empty, but he didn't want to take any chances. He grabbed Blaine by the shoulder, steering him into the boy's locker room. "What the hell was that?"
"What was what, Sammy?"
"Are you trying to get the crap kicked out of me? I am this close to leaving this school, the last thing I need are some jocks cornering me in the parking lot because you have to make some kind of point!"
"I'm sorry," Blaine sneered, "I didn't realize that it was a big secret. After all, two years ago you were telling me that you were in love with me, and I don't really classify as a girl, Sam. And now you're blazing through half the girls in glee club, I'm just a little confused here."
"I believe you," Blaine said, "But you're not telling people you're bisexual, you're telling them you're straight."
"Why does it matter what I told them?" Sam said, "I'm only dating girls here; why does it matter if they know the truth?"
"You know why it matters, Sam," Blaine said. Sam sighed roughly, running fingers through his blonde hair. Blaine always had to be so difficult, didn't he? So damn sentimental.
"It was two months, Blaine. Two months and one stupid dance…"
"You were my first kiss," Blaine said, "You were the first boy to slow dance with me. You were the first boy to tell me that you loved me. You held my hand after they beat us and I could barely breathe. Neither of our parents knew until that night; mine thought 'Sammy' was a girl, yours thought Blaine was… what did you tell them, Sam? That I was a mistake? A one-time childish experimentation?"
"Of course not."
"Are you afraid I'll tell everyone; is that why you're leaving?"
"You don't understand," Sam said, the words coming out a yell that echoed back from empty tile. "I don't get why you even care about this anymore. You have Kurt now, I have Mercedes. We are never going to be together again!"
"I know," Blaine said. Sam was surprised at the ice those words sent through his heart. "I love Kurt more than I ever thought was possible. But you were my first, Sam. And when I came here and found out that you had turned yourself into this stranger, it killed me. Because whether you knew it or not, the moment you told everyone you were straight, you told those bullies that they could beat it out of us. You should have seen their faces when they found out you'd transferred. It was like they'd won. You left me, you broke my heart, and they saw it as some sort of triumph. They'd probably piss themselves with joy if they could see you now."
"I'm sorry, Blaine," Sam said, his face screwing up, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I broke your heart, I'm sorry I'm not as brave as you are. But I don't know what you want."
"I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you don't have feelings for me," Blaine said, "And if you can't do that right now, I want you to go to your next school and tell them proudly that you're bisexual. That those bullies in high school didn't break you. Also, I want you to take that freaking lemon juice out of your hair."
The joke fell flat, Blaine's smile fading as Sam stared at him. Sam's hand shook on the strap of his backpack. And then, in a clear, emotionless voice that ended everything, Sam said, "I don't have feelings for you."
Sam climbed into his dad's beat up old pickup truck, sending a text to Kurt that he had better come take care of his boyfriend.
Two weeks later, Mercedes Jones handed Blaine a letter in glee club. "Sam wanted me to give you this," She said lightly, "He told me not to open it, so I figure it's pretty heavy. Enjoy, white boy."
I don't know if you'll read this, or if I'll even get the courage to send it to you, but I know I need to write it. Today, I looked you in the eye and told you I didn't have feeling s for you.
The truth is, I couldn't stay at Mckinley because I couldn't stand to be near you. To see that smile I fell in love with every day, those eyes… fighting the urge to kiss you in math class. I know you have Kurt, and I don't want to mess that up for you, and I really do like Mercedes, but we've just gotten together, and I know I could never stay away from you unless I was really in love with the girl. Because I was really in love with you. And there's a part of me that will always remember that.
And yeah, I am scared. That Sadie Hawkins Dance was the worst night of my life. I don't want to be knocked to the ground ever again. I don't want to watch the person I love get hurt. You and Kurt have the strength to watch each other get knocked down by the world over and over again. I don't have that strength. I'm afraid to let them know the truth.
The truth is that I love you. I will always love you. But we will never be together again, and that kills me.
That afternoon, Mercedes gave Blaine's reply.