A/N: This is the original chapter five, which as of now, is subject to change. Both an epilogue as well as an alternate fluffy new chapter five will be churned out hopefully before next weekend.

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We were silent during our tread to our hotel. We walk into the shiny hotel lobby without a word and didn't actually speak again until the elevator to the eighth floor.

"So, how was your night Ziva? Was it as pleasant as mine?" Tony asks, looking at me with a broad smile.

I smile and look up at my partner. "It could have been better. The guy I was with was handsome, but he was acting too nice for my taste," I tease, stepping closer to him.

His smile falters, but just for a second. "Oh really? What other things went wrong with your date?" He too steps closer to me, like we were both each other's opposite magnetized pole.

The elevator door dings and we continue to talk on our way down the hall. "Well, he had the waiter take my food before I really ate much of it. I can't complain about our desert though. But there was one thing that really bothered me," I say, stopping at our door.

"What was that?" He asks in serious curiosity, opening our door.

I step in front of him and finish. "He didn't give me a goodnight kiss." I walk into the room and shut the door before Tony could walk in. I allow him to pound on the door for a few seconds before I open the door again. As he walks in past me, he gives me a kiss on the cheek. I gasp, for I had not expected the kiss.

"Is that enough for you Ziva?" Tony jokes, plopping on the bed. "Join me, it's mighty comfortable here." He lies down atop both of our bags.

I walk up to the bed and pull my bag out from under my partner. "Not now, I'm going to take a shower."

"Ooooh, a hot, steamy shower. Mind if I join you?" Tony asks, sitting up, suddenly brightened with lust.

I gently push Tony back down, "I do mind. I prefer to shower alone." I walk away into the shower. Tony's face fell. It hurt him that I had shot him down so quickly. I swear to this day, that I heard him whimper a bit. I also regret what I said when I heard him. "Grow up Tony, it's JUST a shower."

He flinched. "It's more than that Ziva. It doesn't even matter anymore. You need a heart, 'cause you know, ever since you were in Somalia, you've been a jerk." Tony says, his face gathering in an unexpected snarl. It seems that he didn't mean the outburst because his eyes fill with regret almost immediately.

When I see the look on his face, my heart falls. But when his words really register, tears spring up to my eyes. I turn my heel and stomp into the bathroom, then slam the door.

. . .

I step into the steaming shower with tears already running down my face. What Tony said stung, he had no idea what I went through when I was…there. I had been beaten to a pulp, more than once. I had danced with death because I didn't want to hurt Tony. I didn't want Tony to demise, I wasn't really thinking about the rest of the team. I know I had almost killed Tony after he killed Michael, but I truthfully thought he was innocent. Just like with Ari. I risked my own life because I didn't want tony to suffer from my weakness. But it was my weakness that had landed me in that desert. I had acted foolishly when the boat we were sailing on figured us out. I wanted to finish the mission, even though we had orders not to. My method to my madness is I wanted Tony (and a little bit of Gibbs) to forget the pain I caused him (them).

As I remember all of this, I allow the scorching water to fall over my naked body. I weep to the point where I couldn't breathe. I was practically suffocating myself. I weep and weep for what felt like hours. Suddenly, I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me. "Ziva!" Tony shakes my body trying to shake me out of my phase. "Ziva, come on! You can't do this."

I feel his arms release me and I can hear myself whimper. "T- Tony?" I feel him again, this time with a towel to wrap around me. He then reaches to shut of the flow of water.

"I'm here Zi. I'm here. Sh, don't worry. Calm down, I didn't mean to say that. I just over-reacted." He rubs my arm gently. "We're going to get you in bed now. And in some clothes." Tony then hoists me into his arms and carries me into our room. He lays me down and makes sure my towel covers my body. Tony then opens up my bag and rummages through all my stuff. "You didn't bring anything warm." He says softly, pulling out only a bra and undies. He goes to his own bag and pulls out a pair sweats and a hoodie. They were his OSU sweat set that he has loved for almost all his life.

"Tony! I couldn't!" I say, more awake then I was before. He quiets me down again and tosses the bra and panties at me then looks away.

"But you are, you need to stay warm. You can change, I promise I won't look." He even puts his hand over his eyes. I laugh a little and quickly dress. As I pull his sweater on, I beckon for him to come back to me. He took a look at me and smiles. "You look so innocent like that," he sits down next to me. He pats my hand, "Why were you crying?" he asked softly.

Tears spring back to my eyes. "Somalia." I say simply, feeling a tear falling down my face. "When you said about me not having a heart, it broke mine. The only reason I was in Somalia was because I loved you too much."

"Why was it because of me? Was it because I killed-?"He asked, looking me in the eyes.

"No, not that. I thought you hated me. I wanted to rid you of me, so I proceeded to finish my mission even though I was told not to. You saved me. I never thanked you for that properly. You're the reason I'm here today, and I never thanked you." I scoot myself closer to Tony and I felt more tears run down my face.

"Ziva, I could never hate you, and you don't need to thank me. I'm sure you'll save my life eventually. And I'm sure we both might have to save the rest of the team. But as long as we have each-other's backs, we'll be okay." He rubs my back reassuringly. I settle into his hand, suddenly filled with bliss.

I process everything Tony said and smile. I felt one hundred times better and could regain composure. "Thanks, I really needed that," I give him a tight hug. "But, why can't you hate me?" I look up at him through my eyelashes.

I couldn't hate you…because," He takes a deep breath, "I…I love you." He looks at me to see how I respond.

I smile broadly and reach up to cradle his face. I straighten up and pull his mouth to mine. When our lips touch, I feel static, I know he felt it too when he was smiling when we pulled away. I kiss him again, this time for longer. Tongues dance with tongues and electricity fills the room. Then I pull away again, "I love you too Tony." I lie down on our bed, kicking our bags off of it. I then turn out our lights. "Goodnight Tony." I feel him lie down next to me, still in his wet clothing, and he kisses me again.

"Goodnight Ziva."

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A/N: YAY! I'm done! The emotional waterworks were so hard to work with though, I couldn't figure how to end it! It made me tear up just writing it. Very sad indeed. I hope it's good for you to read like it was good for me to write! And just like I promised…a kiss, and not just one but four! I'm not going to write an epilogue, but I have started a new story that should be up soon. It's a Tony POV but still emotional and still Tiva! Please Review and keep your eyes peeled for the updates