"Marik Fucks Santa Claus"

Warning: Thiefshipping, mentionings of sex. This is not a dark one.

Rated: T

Marik sighed, clutching at his pillows. Really, tonight had been a long night. His unenjoyable birthday had passed two days ago, and had left him in an awfully melancholic mood.

Remembering that stupid, half-assed party, he cringed inwardly. It was supposed to have just been him, Ishizu, and Odion…


"Marik!" Ishizu cried, flinging open the door and revealing a rather embarrassed and freezing cold Marik. The blonde just grunted in reply, hand stuffed listlessly into his warm pockets, mittens not doing enough to keep out the Ra-damned cold.

His sister paid no mind, though, and just stepped out of the way. For once, Ishizu was dressed in vibrant colors; her dress was a soft crimson, with white fur trimming the outside of it, and green reindeer stitched into the bottom. All in all, Marik thought it looked quite pathetic. Not that he'd ever dare tell Ishizu that.

"Odion! Marik has joined us!" Ishizu called back, hand cupping around her mouth. When her message had been sent, she turned a happy smile to Marik, teeth glimmering in the soft light.

"Well, go take a seat in the living room," Ishizu commanded, shooing him in farther into the house. Ishizu and Odion had moved to Domino City after Marik, choosing not to stay in Egypt so far away from their brother and 'master'. Marik had refused, of course, to live with them again. He was nineteen now, and he wanted to be a 'big boy'.

Of course, living on his own made things difficult. Finding a job, for one, seeing as he had no experience with pretty much… Well… Anything! On top of all that, he had bills to pay, groceries to buy. .. And oh yeah, fucking Bakura.

The damned spirit, apparently, had obtained his own body, along with the Pharaoh. He'd come back, it seemed, just to specifically target Marik, annoying the boy to fucking hell and back! But the strange thing was … Marik didn't mind it. In fact, whenever he'd see Bakura coming, he'd automatically try to straighten up the house, and try to press down his hair and make his clothes look a little bit more acceptable…

Not that Bakura would ever care, anyways. Or that Marik cared. Because he didn't. Nope.

Sighing, Marik cleared his head of such aggravating thoughts, and instead made his way into the living room of the Ishtars' home. It was a small, quaint room, with white, pristine furniture. Small trinkets from Egypt decorated the wall, along with a merry little fireplace. Vaguely, Marik felt something slightly akin to jealously. Who the fuck said they should get a fire place and not him?

Deciding he was being stupid and jealous, Marik instead focused on sitting down on the furniture, black clad legs crossing over one another as he removed his purple jacket and black scarf. Tossing them to the side, he noticed a small little Christmas tree. Smiling softly, he moved over towards it.

Marik didn't have one at his house. He only had one of the small, pathetic little ones he'd heard classified as 'Charlie Brown Christmas Trees'. Marik, of course, didn't know what that mean, but what the hell ever, right? No skin off his shin, was the saying, huh?

Flicking some blonde bangs from his face, and instead bent over, hands going to his knees, head stretching forward on his golden decorated neck. He felt the cold metal of his earrings smack his cheeks as he look closely at the glimmering lights. Red, green, and yellow of different shades shimmered all along the tree, giving different hues to the tinsel wrapped lovingly around each bow.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" A deep voice growled behind him, and Marik bit down hard on his lip to keep from screaming. Whirling around, he stared up into the crimson eyes of Yami no Bakura. Bakura was standing there, dressed in a black, button up shirt, red pin stripe designs going up and down it. The top two buttons were undone, revealing a small, white strip of flesh that flashed in and out of view. His blue jeans had been discarded in favor of form-fitting black pants, a dragon like design on the pockets.

"It's just a tree," Marik scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to hide the fact that he'd been staring. Bakura merely smirked, canines pressing against his lip as a pink tongue massaged the tip playfully.

"Who said I was talking about the tree?" Bakura questioned, grinning wider as he saw that he'd clearly baffled the usually quick-witted Marik.

"Bakura, you better be behaving!" Ryou called, appearing behind his yami, wearing a matching outfit, only in blue and white. Feeling a slight surge of jealousy, Marik watched as those soft, doe-brown eyes locked onto Bakura's crimson ones, obviously ordering obedience. Then the hikari was gone, off helping Ishizu with carrying food in.

"What… What're you two doing here, anyways?" Marik demanded, shooting venom into his voice as he glared crossly at the albino thief. Bakura just shrugged, a cocky grin etching its way over his pale features.

"We heard you were having a party, of course. Now, dear Marik, why would I ever miss that?" Bakura cackled, smacking Marik playfully on the shoulder. The blonde didn't deem that with a response, however, and just brushed past Bakura, hoping to go help Ishizu.

"Now, where are you going?" Bakura rumbled, and before Marik knew it two pale arms were wrapped around his waist, pulling him in close. Marik gasped as he collided with Bakura's waist.

"Fluffy!" Marik growled, "what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I believe this could be called flirting," Bakura mused, voice humming in Marik's ear. With a blush staining his tanned cheeks, Marik realized that he was actually enjoying this. Jerking away, Marik pointed towards the kitchen.

"Ishizu and Ryou need my help carrying plates," Marik lied, shooting for the door.

"Oh no," Bakura interrupted, grabbing Marik and pulling the boy back to the couch. "You're the birthday boy. You sit here with me, and we'll let the slaves do all the work." With a diabolical laugh, Bakura swung his legs onto Marik's lap, a cheeky grin running rampant across his face.

"Bitch, get your fat ass legs off of me, before you break my thigh bones," Marik grumbled, shoving Bakura's legs. The albino offered a playful pout, but blinked as Marik's legs found their way onto Bakura's lap.

"And by the way," Marik intoned, "you're my bitch. Get that straight."

Bakura let a silver eyebrow arch, but offered no complaint. In fact, by the dazed look in his eyes, Marik was quite concerned that Bakura was imagining things he ought not be.

He didn't let this bug him, though, and instead he focused on watching Ishizu, Odion and Ryou appear, carrying food and setting it on the living room table. Ishizu announced that they could eat, and both Bakura and Marik tore greedily into the food. Marik noted that Ishizu had made plates with meat…

Strange. Only Bakura was an avid meat eater, and some of these dishes seemed to cater specifically to his needs(i.e. Dripping blood)… But if Bakura was just a surprise visitor, how had Ishizu known to cook meat for a bunch of vegetarians.

Shoving the thoughts away (along with food into his mouth) Marik just figured he was examining things to in-depth.

When the meal was done, Ishizu decided it was time for presents. He opened it up, and split apart a card, staring at it with some confusion. Ishizu looked slightly offended for a moment, before finally posing the question, "What's wrong?"

Marik tilted his head. "Nothing, it's just that… Every year around Christmas, this fat old man in a red suit appears everywhere, and on everything!" Marik exclaimed, pointing towards the figure most commonly known as Santa Claus, or Saint Nick.

Ishizu bubbled nervously with laughter, before explaining the tale to Marik. Bakura and Ryou both looked disinterested, but Odion was listening, as was Marik. When the story came to a halt, Marik looked dubious, though.

"So some fat old man sneaks into childrens' homes at night, gets them to sit on his lap, and loves eating everybody else's cookies?" Ishizu gave a slow nod, not liking the tone of Marik's voice. "Bull fuckin shit."

"Marik Ishtar! Watch your mouth!" Ishizu growled, dark eyes narrowing. Marik's violet pupils rolled, paying her no heed. Instead, he looked to Bakura, who was looking at Marik intently.

And Marik was afraid to say the wheels in his brain were finally breaking out of their rusted positions, running full-force.

Marik had a baaaaaad feeling…


Which is why, on Christmas Eve, or Christmas morning, now, Marik was still awake, clearly nervous about this whole thing. He didn't know what Bakura was planning, but he didn't like the thought of it. Staring downwards, he realized he hadn't chosen the best pajamas for the possible need of flight.

Ryou, the sweet little hikari he was, had given Marik pajamas that consisted of a light green tank-top, with something called the Grinch on the front of them, and short shorts that didn't even go past Marik's thighs. Marik had worn them to get into the spirit of the holiday but… He really regretted it now.


Flinching, Marik realized this must've been what he was waiting for. Was this what Bakura's brain had conducted, Marik shivered, before slowly rising out of bed. He growled at the uncomfortable feeling of wind at his newly revealed areas. His goose-flesh skin did not like the idea of sneaking around (barefoot) in his house at night.

He knew, however, that no sleep would come to him unless he investigated the source of all the commotion. Stumbling down the stairs, he reached his living room, pausing as he saw a shadow move and sit down in an arm chair.

Marik felt fury rise up inside of him. How dare this person come in here and just sit like this was his fucking house! And it was probably Bakura… Damned stupid ass spirit. Huffing angrily, Marik spotted his Millennium Rod. Snatching it up, he slowly made his way to the person in the chair. He could see red clothes and white hair.

Resisting the urge to snort, Marik lifted the Rod high above his head, and brought it down savagley atop the intruders head. He heard a groan, and the person flopped forward, clutching at their 'poor widdle head'

"How'd that feel, bitch?" Marik snapped, stomping around the chair and into the living room. "Why the hell're you in my house anyways?" Marik demanded, stopping finally in front of the slumped over person.

With a gasp, Marik finally thought about it. Someone was here. In his house. On Christmas. With a red suit on. Black boots. And white hair.

Marik screamed and dropped his Rod.

"FUCKING HELL I KILLED SANTA CLAUS!" Marik wailed, clutching at his hair. "FUCK Ishizu wasn't lying! Oh God! Maybe I can revive him…?" Marik dropped desperately to his knees, reaching out shaking hands to the person's voluminous suit. Clutching at the suit, he flipped the person over, just to stare into the face of a groggy Bakura.

"OW… Bloody hell, Marik," Bakura grumbled, lifting a pale hand to his head, nursing the growing bruise. Marik's jaw dropped as he stared, dumbfounded, at the Spirit of the Ring.

"Bakura I… I . . I don't . ." Marik spluttered, before finally opting to just shut his mouth and stare. Bakura rolled his eyes, and leaned in towards Marik.

"So, Ishtar, I thought I'd do something… Special for your birthday," Bakura offered a wicked grin, the dim lighting making his face seem even more demonic. Marik was suddenly hyper-aware of his revealing clothing, and really hated his outfit choice for the night.

"Glad Ryou went with the gift I suggested," Bakura mumbled, shifting slightly, making Marik even more confused. He watched Bakura stand and flop down onto the chair.

"So, Marik… Have you been a good, or…Naughty?" Bakura's voice purred, grabbing Marik's hand and hauling him up into Bakura's lap. Marik squeaked in surprise as he sprawled unceremoniously into the albino's lap.

"E-Excuse me?" Marik squeaked, feeling a bulge that belonged to Bakura beneath him. Eyes widening in surprise, Marik looked questioningly at Bakura.

The albino rolled his eyes. "Dammit, I was trying to make our first time special, Marik. I planned that party, chose all those presents, and this is how you repay me?"

Marik's mind literally blanked as he stared at the exasperated Spirit. His mind couldn't possibly tolerate this blow. Slowly, eyelids closed, then reopened, before finally tilting his head.

"You… You planned…?" Marik asked, all bravado lost as he stared into Bakura's garnet gaze. The albino's fluffy head nodded, grin falling as he stared up at Marik.

"Honestly, you're pretty dumb for such a smart, evil little bitch, Marik," Bakura responded, lifting a gloved hand to Marik's cheek. Marik just scowled, and let out a squeak as Bakura pulled him in, melding their lips together. Marik gasped in surprise, and felt Bakura's tongue shooting into his mouth. Moaning slightly, Marik molded their bodies together, chests touching as Marik wound his fingers into Bakura's hair, pulling them even closer as he felt Bakura's hands around the back of his neck.

Well… Marik figured maybe this was why he tried so hard for the spirit. Because Gods yes, there was no denying it any more, was there… Marik liked the Spirit of the Ring, and apparently, the feelings were mutual.

Suddenly, though, Marik was shoved off of Bakura's lap, and he sprawled out on the floor, a panting, blushing, confused mess. With slightly swollen lips, he looked confusedly up at Bakura.

"So I asked you, Ishtar… Have you been naughty… Or nice?"


Marik lay, completely naked, in Bakura's arms. Bakura was in the same, disheveled state that Marik was in, though, as they pressed against each other. They'd started off downstairs, yes, but somehow Marik had been "tricked" into acting like reindeer as Bakura pretended to ride him up the stairs to the bedroom …

In all honesty, Marik wasn't even sure anymore. Chuckling, he imagined Bakura as a cowboy, and a horse-Marik, with a blonde fringe and a bad ass attitude, always knocking its rider off and kicking him in the nuts.

"What's so funny?" Bakura drawled, running a hand lazily through Marik's blonde hair.

"Oh, nothin', partner," Marik rumbled in a Southern accent.

Bakura's brow furrowed, but decided it was best not to ask.


Decided to take LadySunami's advice, so get ready for the SPAM. xD

This'll just be (For now) the transfering of stories from my Tumblr to here, and I'll eventually add 'new' things from there. . .