The Only Human I Hate





"Dammit, you flea!" There went another vending machine. It was easily dodged by none other than Izaya Orihara, who was the target of this violently thrown object.

"Shizu-chan! You seem to be in a worse mood than normal," Izaya addressed Shizuo Heiwajima with his cute nickname, only angering Shizuo more.

"Because I'm tired of seeing your damn face!" Shizuo yelled. "This ends now!" He pulled out the nearest traffic sign from the ground, a one-way sign, and charged for Izaya.

"Really? The sign again? This is getting rather tiresome…" Izaya sighed and stared at the quickly approaching Shizuo.

"Yaahh!" Shizuo swung the sign with a sideways swipe, which Izaya effortlessly jumped over.

"Come on now, Shizu-chan! Your aim is off. What's going on with you today?" Izaya said, dodging another swing from Shizuo.

"I already told you! I'm tired of having to deal with you! I just want you to…go the hell away!" Shizuo's anger was apparent from the expression on his face: red with eyes narrowed and gritted teeth. Izaya frowned.

"Don't you think I'm tired of seeing you, too? I think it's time to rid the world of the one person I hate." Izaya reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his flick-blade.

"Get rid of me? I don't think so!" Shizuo charged forward to swing once more at Izaya. Without warning, Izaya leaped up, doing a summersault in mid-air, and kicked Shizuo square in the face. Shizuo dropped the one-way sign and fell over backward onto the pavement.

"Wow, Shizu-chan," Izaya grabbed Shizuo's blonde hair and raised his head up harshly, "you were really off your game today, huh?" Shizuo was out cold, blood pouring from his nose. Izaya, still holding his flick-blade in his opposite hand, held it up to Shizuo's throat. "I could kill you right now…should I? Is it finally time to end your life?"

Izaya stared at the unconscious Shizuo. He could do it; he could end his life right now. Right now. Right now…

Why wasn't he ending Shizuo's life?

Sure, he hated Shizuo, but maybe he was really fun to mess with. They'd been fighting off and on like this for years. Did it get tiring after awhile? Or was Izaya really enjoying this like he did when he made other human lives miserable?

No, that was different. He loved toying with humans and watching their horrid expressions. It was so much fun. Humans were such interesting creatures.

But Shizuo was someone he hated. Ever since he had met him those few years ago. Izaya could say he enjoyed toying with Shizuo as well, but it was different than with other humans.

He loved messing with humans. He hated messing with Shizuo.

That didn't make any sense.

"Ergh…" Izaya gritted his teeth. He was so confused. Why was he confused now? He could kill Shizuo! Isn't that what he'd always wanted? To rid the world of the only human he hated?

Izaya continued to stare at the blonde. He'd never seen him look so vulnerable. Right now, he definitely wasn't his best looking, not with all that blood pouring out of his nose. But isn't that what Izaya wanted? To see him in pain? Did he get off on that? Did that make him happy?

"Dammit!" Izaya was asking himself too many questions that didn't make any sense to him. If he was going to kill Shizuo he'd better do it now while he was still knocked out. Izaya gripped the knife tighter and poked Shizuo's neck with it.

"Kill him." Izaya said to himself. "Rid the world of Shizuo."

I can't kill him.

"Huh?" Izaya blinked. "What?"

I can't kill Shizuo. That's not what I want.

"Ergh!" Izaya flinched and closed his eyes. "What is it that I want?"

I don't…I don't hate Shizuo…

"No! I hate him! I hate Shizu-chan!"

Shizu-chan, huh? Why the cute nickname? Was that to make him more angry with me, or was it…something else?

"I hate…I hate Shizu-chan…"

Who am I lying to? Myself?

"I don't understand what I want…"

I want Shizuo.


I want…Shizu-chan. Because…I don't hate him.

Izaya frowned. He let go of Shizuo's hair, laying him back down on the ground gently. He put away his flick-blade and sighed.






"Ugh…" Shizuo slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times to make sure he was fully awake. Wherever he was it was dark. But whatever he was on was soft.

"Where the hell am I?" he asked himself. He tried to remember the last thing that happened to him before he…fell asleep? No, wait…He was fighting Izaya. And then he was kicked in his face.

"That damn flea! He knocked me out!" Shizuo yelled. "Where the hell is he?"

"Shizu-chan, you're so loud." Izaya turned on the light to the living room.

"What?" Shizuo looked around. He was sitting on a couch. In Izaya's living room.

He was in Izaya's apartment.

"Why am I here? What the hell-?"

"Shizu-chan, calm down. You ask too many questions." Izaya walked over to the couch Shizuo was sitting on and sat down next to him.

"Calm down? We were just fighting before you stuck your foot in my face!"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"And then all of a sudden I'm-! Wait, what?" Shizuo raised his eyebrow. "Did you just apologize to me?"

"Shizuo, maybe all of this fighting is pointless. We should just…stop."

"Izaya, this isn't like you. You said something was wrong with me, and then you go and say this?" Shizuo was beyond confused.

"…Shizuo, why do you hate me?" Izaya asked.

"Huh? Well…"


"You didn't give me time to answer the question!"

"I could have killed you. When I knocked you out. I was so close to slicing your throat and ending it all. But…I don't think that's what I wanted. And when you throw all those signs and vending machines and everything else, are your intentions to really kill me? Is that what you want?"

"Izaya…" Shizuo wasn't too sure where he was getting with this. But it did make him think. Did Shizuo really want Izaya dead? Life would be a lot different without throwing something new at him everyday. Was that it? Did he like feuding with Izaya? Was he really tired of seeing his face?

"Shizuo, I've always said that I love humans. All humans but you. I resented you the second I met you. At least, I thought I did. But maybe all this time it was something else."

"Something else?"

"You said you were tired of seeing my face. Why is that?"

"I was tired of seeing your face. I don't know why, I just was. I think…"

"Your aim was way off today. Maybe you realized it, too."

"Realized what?"

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya reached out and slightly touched Shizuo's cheeks. "I think my hate for you was something else all this time…"

Suddenly, Izaya's lips collided with Shizuo's. Shizuo's eyes widened, not knowing what to do. He could have just shoved Izaya away, but…this strange feeling began to wash over him. He wanted this, and he was enjoying it. He closed his eyes and felt himself forcing his lips to remain locked with Izaya's. Before they could go any further, Izaya pulled away.

"Shizu-chan…I love humans. But maybe I confused hate for real love." Izaya's cheeks were red. Shizuo could only stare at him. Izaya never looked so…vulnerable and cute. Shizuo never thought he would use words like that to describe him.


"Is the pointless fighting over?"

Shizuo wanted to laugh at that. "Are you kidding? Pointless? Life isn't as fun when I'm not fighting with you."

"What? Really?" Izaya looked down. "Well then what the hell do we do now? Go back to the way it was before?"

"We don't have to…" Shizuo leaned in and quickly kissed Izaya again. "We can do both."

Izaya blushed. "Shizu-chan, maybe I should have killed you earlier."

"What? That's not nice!"

"Really? I'm Izaya Orihara. Since when did Izaya Orihara and nice ever go together?"

"Good point."

"Hey, Shizu-chan?"

"What, flea?"

One more kiss from Izaya. "I hate you."

Shizuo chuckled. "I hate you, too."

Izaya smiled. After all this time…

…Shizuo really was the only human he truly hated. Because he made Izaya experience real love for him.