******Warning: If you are such an ardent admirer of Twilight that you believe it shouldn't be mocked in any form or fashion, then you might want to skip this chapter.
Arthur, Merlin, Elyan, Gwaine, Percival, and Lancelot all sat huddled together on the floor in Arthur's chambers. They weren't hiding. They weren't staving off some fierce winter (that never occurs in Camelot anyway). They weren't even having a deep, private conversation.
They were reading. No, not business or reports or research. Actually, yes, this book was research of a sort. They were reading Twilight.
"Gwaine, are you sure that women like this?" Arthur asked for the umpteenth time. He was beginning to get fed up with this story. Scratch that. He had been fed up ever since somewhere between chapter one and chapter two.
"There was these really pretty girls that said all men should be like Edward," Gwaine replied.
"I'm not sure this is worth it," Elyan chimed in. "I don't want to be like Edward."
"Well, he certainly doesn't have my dashing good looks," Gwaine noted.
Everyone stared at Gwaine.
"Gwaine, you're not very good looking," Elyan corrected.
"You just wish you had my admirers."
"Your imaginary ones?"
"In any case," Gwaine, determined not to be undermined, continued, "I'm better looking than Edward!"
"That's not hard," Arthur interjected, "seeing as Edward's a corpse."
"How about we just finish this tale, Arthur," Percival spoke up to keep the peace. And because, frankly, the sooner they finished this story, the better.
"Alright," Arthur grimaced. "Merlin, I think it's your turn to read."
"It's been my 'turn' for the last three chapters," Merlin complained.
Merlin grudgingly complied. As he read, he resisted the urge to make random gagging noises. He was getting sick and tired of reading a physical description of Edward every other minute.
"Merlin," Arthur interrupted, "if another one of those Bella-thinks-Edward-looks-amazing paragraphs show up again, skip it. Just skip it."
"I have a better idea!" Gwaine exclaimed.
"Better than skipping half the book?" Arthur, Merlin, and Elyan said in unison.
"I propose a drinking game. Every time Edward's looks are mentioned, we take a swig."
Without waiting for anyone's reaction to the idea, Gwaine bounced to his feet. At that moment, a knocked sounded on the door.
"Arthur?" they heard Gwen say uncertainly.
Right then, Arthur remembered that he had asked her to visit him. He closed his eyes. He could kick himself for forgetting about that and, therefore, starting a Twilight-reading party in his chambers. If it could be called a party.
The door slid open as Gwen said, "Arthur," again. None of the men were reacting. Something about the shock of realizing that they were huddled around Twilight was delaying their reaction capabilities.
Merlin regained control of himself first. In shame, he quickly tried to hide the book behind his back. Lancelot caught his arm though. It took a moment for Merlin to understand Lancelot's action and meaningful look. Oh. Since Gwen's a girl, seeing us with Twilight is a good thing.
Gwen stepped forward. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. She wasn't sure what was the best way to approach the topic of why the men (except Gwaine, who was standing) were in a tight ball on the floor.
"Guinevere!" Arthur perked up. He smiled uncomfortably.
"Should I come back later?" Gwen asked, pointing behind herself at the door.
"No, uh..." Arthur attempted to stand, but couldn't as he was squished between Merlin and Percival.
"Are you reading Twilight?" Gwen cocked her head to get a better look at the book in Merlin's hands.
"Yes," Lancelot responded immediately, "It is very... interesting."
In an instant, five elbows shot out at Lancelot. Gwaine, who couldn't easily reach Lancelot's midsection, happened to knock Lancelot's head.
Why? Arthur thought. Why did you have to use the most obvious diplomatic "I hate it"? Why?
Ignoring the poorly concealed hints, Gwen asked, "Why?"
"Women think men should all be like Edward," Gwaine said. "But I don't know why when I'm obviously superior to him."
"It's not hard to be better than Edward," Gwen replied scathingly. "Don't... actually, I don't care what the rest of you do. Arthur, promise me that you'll never try to be like Edward."
*shifts uncomfortably* So, yeah, we don't like Twilight. (Don't hurt us.) And we still hate Lancelot, even though (SPOILER ALERT!) he died a hero. (Again, don't hurt us.)
But please do still leave a review :)