I should totally be updating my in-progress fic right now, but I couldn't ignore this one. It just popped in my head while I was studying…
Harry watched suspiciously as Ron walked out into the back garden of the Burrow. There was no missing the huge grin plastered on the ginger's face. "Ron? I thought you were going in to get us drinks. You've been gone for nearly an hour!" Ginny admonished her brother. It was true. Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and even George had spent most of the morning degnoming the garden in preparation for Harry's eighteenth birthday party. When that was finished, all but Hermione stayed to play a two-on-two quiddich match. It didn't last long. The heat of the July midday quickly became too unbearable, so they resorted to lying on blankets in the shade of a nearby tree.
"Yeah, mate. It's a good thing Ginny and I are capable of getting refreshments, or we never would have gotten them," Harry continued. "You still didn't bring anything back." Ron sank onto the blanket close to George, grin and all. George couldn't help but chuckle at his younger brother. "You know, I would have offered to get the drinks, but I didn't want to risk walking in on your naked arse."
At this comment, Ron simply eyed his brother and raised his eyebrows while Harry and Ginny made gagging noises. "I couldn't resist," Ron said cockily. "I went upstairs to grab a different shirt, and Hermione was in the shower-"
"OI!" Harry interrupted. "I do NOT want to hear anymore. That is my…sister in there, for lack of a better word. Whatever you two get up to, I don't want to hear about…or see…EVER!" Harry had known about their goings-on for awhile, but he chose to pretend that they did nothing more than hold hands. "And take that shit-eating grin off your face. It gives you away every time. At least Hermione can control herself around other people. She doesn't go around announcing your romps to the world."
George's burst of laughter was startling. He hadn't laughed like that since before the battle at Hogwarts. Harry, Ginny, and Ron gawked at him open-mouthed. "Hermione? Control herself? You, Harry Potter, may have defeated You-Know-Who, but you are completely oblivious to how obvious your…sister did you say?...really is." Harry's puzzled expression only made George laugh harder. Ginny started to laugh with him. Ron turned bright red, shit-eating grin erased. Just how much did George know about what he and Hermione did at the shop after hours? How much had he seen?
"And what signs should we be looking for from Hermione, George?" Ginny spat out between giggles. Harry put his head in his hands, "I'm not sure I want to know this."
George continued anyway. "Harry, my young, naïve friend, I feel it is my duty as surrogate big brother to tell you. For one thing, Hermione always tidies things after a shag."
"So what?" Ginny chimed in. "She's always tidying up around here. It's a good help to Mum."
George held up his hand, silencing his sister, "She also hums while she's doing it."
"She does not!" Ron exclaimed, only to elicit a groan from Harry.
"Disgusting, Ron. I thank Merlin every day that you two are very adept at silencing charms. I meant that she hums while she cleans," retorted George.
Again, Ginny protested, "She always hums when she clea-oh!" Realization hit her and Harry at the same time. Ron lay on his back grinning from ear to ear. "Just how many times a day?-never mind. I think Harry's about to pass out. His face is turning green." Harry did, in fact, look like he was going to be very sick.
"That's it. I can't hear anymore of this," he said. "I'm going to start sleeping in Percy's old room, and I'm going to start peeking around corners before I walk into any room or hallway or closet." Ginny put her arm around his shoulders. Harry looked up at Ron and pointed a finger at his chest, "Just promise me that you will never ever, EVER forget to cast a silencing and Imperturbable charm. Whenever I can't find you, I'm going to assume you are napping."
"Sure thing, mate!" Ron said to his best friend.
It was now Ginny's turn to look puzzled. "Ron? What are you going to do when the school term starts? You can't go sneaking into Hogwarts for a quick shag any time you're feeling randy." George sighed, and Harry stood to run back toward the house.
Ron sat up. A sad expression passed over his face, "Well, I guess we're sort making up for it now. Besides, it's not like we'll never see each other. There're quiddich matches and Hogsmeade weekends, and I'm sure McGonagall would let me visit for a few meals. I just hope Hermione's as…adventurous at Hogwarts as she is here. Spitfire that one. I've got seven years of fantasies saved up for that place." Harry, just returning from the house, groaned once again and covered his ears. Ginny was blushing furiously, and her face showed an expression of pure revulsion. George clapped his brother on the shoulder, whispering "I'll bet you do little brother."
Ron smiled at Harry, who looked as if he was struggling between staying under the tree and returning to the house. "I thought you went into the house, Harry. If you didn't want to hear any more, why'd you come back?"
Harry sat heavily, "Hermione's doing the dishes…and she's humming."