{A/N: Did you poor saps really think I was gonna leave you like that? Okay, well, I would, but that's beside the point. What IS the point is that I have completed my plot. There is nothing more interesting on a grand scheme to tell, if there was anyway. However, I have sunk nearly three years of my life into this universe, and my Rule #1 of Storytelling is Always Know More Than You're Gonna Tell The Audience, so I've got a lot of things that didn't make it into the narrative that are still good. I may be writing far future one-shots here and there about this cast - there are a few already written because I'm a terrible person - but, Gods willing, there will not be a "Baffled King/Idiot Hero" part 3. Until then, here are the life stories of some of the major - and minor - players in this little ditty. (If there was someone I didn't cover somehow and you're just DYING to know what happened to them, hit me up and I'll do what I can to explain.)

It's been a fun ride, through the ups and downs of my personal life and my life as a writer, and for those of you who've stuck with me, peace be upon you and your kin. For those of you just getting around to reading this after I finished, goooood chooooooice.

Thing to note: If you don't want spoilers for any future tinkering I may be doing in this, I suggest you not read ahead.}

Matthew Williams

Matthew went on to become a pro hockey player, and the high point of his career was scoring a goal in the gold medal game of the 2014 Winter Olympics (not the game-winning goal, though). He kept up his friendship with Gilbert until the other's death, and developed a younger sibling relationship with Francis after their first meeting. He married three times – the first to a Manitoba waitress, Anna Robins, at twenty one, with whom he had a son named Caleb. When Caleb was about seven years old, they had a congenial divorce, and gave their son the choice of parents to stay with. He chose his mother, although Matthew was still very present in his life. After their divorce, Matthew went back to his drifter tendencies until he met his second wife, a Dutch-Canadian immigrant named Marissa Hutch, who he married quickly. She left him just as quickly, though, leaving him heartbroken. While he was still moping, Francis introduced him to his third and final wife, a French model named Sophia LeBlanc that was in his own wife's circle of colleagues. They got married and, after her career was over, settled down in Quebec, where they had three kids, the oldest a girl named Madeleine, and then twins Luke and Charles. He loves all his children, of course, but Madeleine looks like him except for her mother's eyes, and he was a goner from the day she was born. Hockey is his whole life – after the pros, he becomes a hockey coach, pulling at least two Mighty Ducks scenarios over the years. All four of his children at least try hockey, although Caleb and Madeleine are the only ones that stick with it further than recreational league (Madeleine as a goalie, Caleb as a wing).

He ages very well, hitting his high point of attractive in his twenties and thirties, although he always has the hair, which is something like a trademark. Many hockey fans know him as 'that Canadian with the hippie hair'. He doesn't go to college, playing hockey through those years. He develops a fondness for plaid and stubble. He despises the feel of contacts and is never seen without his glasses or his prescription goggles for sport.

Gilbert Beilschmidt

Gil's acting career lasts a little longer than Al's, playing a few assistant-villain types in explosive action movies before the Vargas brothers, who became indie filmmakers, asked for his help in making a simple score for one of their ventures. He decides he likes writing music for movies and shoves his way into the industry, using the Vargas's as his sled and making quite a name for himself. He never gets married, although he does officially become stepbrothers with Antonio when their mothers elope right before Prop 8 is passed. He and Antonio meet Francis at a Christmas party hosted by Alfred and Arthur one year, and although the three of them live in very different ends of the world, they form a strong circle of friendship and tomfoolery that serves to make Arthur's head ache whenever they are near.

He and Al get over themselves and realize the reason why they always hated each other as kids was because they were the exact same person, and occasionally met up halfway in Vegas for a few nights of disturbing the peace with just the two of them.

Unfortunately, he develops skin cancer a few times, partially/mostly because of his albinism. After the third relapse in his mid-thirties, he decides to throw everything to the wind and lives as daring as he can get, living out a bucket list of the ages until it finally kills him at forty two from a scuba diving accident with dangerous fish in Indonesia. His death shakes Antonio and Francis something fierce, although Matt, who was Gil's confidant for all of his life and even joined him on some of his tamer adventures, saw it coming for years and wasn't really surprised. It also affects Charlie, Matt's more rambunctious twin, to whom Uncle Gil had been his favorite old person.

His appearance barely changes, although when the skin cancer days come about, he does look sicklier than normal. His albinism does cover up a lot of that by just making him look naturally sickly, although his eyesight does go to shit, another common side effect of his mutation, and he has to wear glasses by the time he's twenty three.

Francis Bonnefoy

After Francis's parents die and leave him their fortune as he is an only child, he decides that he's tired of loafing around and invests his surplus of money in something worthwhile – like nuclear power. Since he is a lot smarter than he pretends to be, he researches what he's putting his money into, eventually taking courses in it, which eventually evolves into writing a master's thesis and a doctorate in nuclear physics. He teaches a course in it a semester at the university he studied at, just to have something to do with it, and becomes heavily involved in the French nuclear community. He definitely has a few affairs with his grad students, although he staunchly turns down advances from/refuses to think about having sex with undergrads. He has standards, after all. He does eventually meet Matthew and takes his under his wing, giving relationship advice and, as mentioned before, introducing him to a very nice, pretty girl that his wife hints at would be perfect for Matthew.

He does eventually marry, and surprisingly only once to a plus-sized model named Adrienne, a quarter Spanish Muslim from the southern regions of France. She knows very little English, but still manages to develop a platonic affection for Arthur, going so far as to help him in their neverending prank war. They're a little bit of a swinger couple, to the point that side affairs don't tear up their relationship, but not enough that they drag others into their bedroom together. She's the Big Sister in her life to Francis's Big Brother.

He ages beautifully, of course.

Ivan Braginski

Ivan's own hockey career dies rather quickly, although not from lack of skill. For the time he's in the NHL, he and Matt develop a small rivalry, but before he can really take off, his father, who had always been suspected of shady dealings, dies under curious circumstances. Ivan retires and takes his place, moving to Moscow and stepping into the position of oil oligarch at a young age, dabbling in the academic study of astronomy on the side. He and Alfred retain their rivalry, not physically (much), but academically, going out of their way to write articles and papers that prove the other's findings wrong just to prove they can. He marries a ballerina from Petersburg, and always has impeccable taste in clothes.

Monique Grimaldi

Monique marries a Sicilian mobster she meets on a trip back to Monaco to visit her parents and moves with him to Sicily and runs a gambling ring from their house. Although she drops the hairdressing front completely, she does have a side room renovated into a small salon, where every Friday morning the other mob wives come over to get their hair done and chat, and every Saturday evening she schools the men in poker. The only people who can beat her are her husband and her parents, who taught her everything she knows. She and Alfred still keep in touch with occasional phone calls.

Kiku Honda

After Kiku finishes Oxford, he moves back to Japan, where he goes into the corporate side of computing. He always stays vaguely in touch with Arthur, but their relationship picks back up on one of Al and Arthur's world tours, where they stop in Japan and borrow his guest room for a week or so. After that the three of them are as close as they can get, going so far as for Kiku to personally build their computers. Although he's corporate, he'd always tinkered in circuitry as a hobby, and he's very good at it, so he builds his friends' computers in his spare time to keep himself from going insane. He has no children, although he marries a school teacher from Taiwan (yes, it's Mei). Eventually, his chain of promotions ends at being the VP in charge of the Middle Eastern section of his company, where his correspondent on location is Sadiq.

Natalia Braginskaya

Natalia becomes a detective in Vancouver, using her suspected mafia connections vaguely for good, in a backwards way. While Ivan is in the NHL, she goes to every one of his games. She also hates his wife on principle. She has a lot of boyfriends that never really last long, and dresses just as nicely as the rest of her family.

Mathias Densen

Mathias graduates from Oxford while Arthur's on his vacation and goes to work in the Danish navy as a mathematician, having successfully won over his Norwegian. He and Arthur email each other around Christmas. Sometimes.

Magdalena Gaspar

Unlike Alfred, Magdalena stays in the acting business for most of her life. She does keep in contact with the boys after Al is called back for a second cameo on the French show, and is a beta reader for all of Arthur's books, even going so far as to translate his most popular series into Portuguese. If Al wasn't in the picture they'd probably be more serious to the point of marriage – a fact which Al is all too aware of. As it is, during one of her visits to them she gets them drunk and convinces them that a threesome would be the best way to work this all out. They only do it once, but it opens doors to future shared bed partners of the two, and it erases the animosity Al had always tried to suppress towards her.

Feliks Łukasiewicz/Toris Lorinaitis

Feliks and Toris settle back into their old lives pretty easily after the Eurotrip. Although Al pretty much drops acting and doesn't need Toris as a manager anymore, they still stay close, as Toris has filled an older brother/mentor spot in his life that had been empty. The same roles are true for Arthur and Feliks, although Feliks likes to call and chat for hours at a time. (After the first month, Arthur talks him into Skype.)

They decide to wait to marry until it's legal in their home state again. When it happens, they have a giant blowout of a wedding, since they've been saving up for years and have a huge budget to play with. It's almost worth it. As far as careers, Feliks stays active in the filmmaking industry, doing makeup for all-size productions and mild stunt work (mostly car-related stuff) for smaller ones. Toris migrates into the music manager business with the backing of Mr. Jones and is mildly successful. They occasionally accompany Arthur and Alfred on some of their future, smaller adventures.


As an old dog during the main plot, she dies soon after Al's return peacefully. He and his parents bury her under the backyard tree that she'd once chased Matt up. The next time he visits he buries a peach pit there. It doesn't take, but it's the thought that counts.


Although Matt visits him at the sanctuary whenever he's in town, the bear never seems to notice him. He lives long enough for all of Matt's children to be introduced to him, though, in some manner.

The Camp

Ludwig stays with his camp until death. Retirement's for pansies and French people. He never marries.

Jake spends another year or so there, then wanders off with Ludwig's blessing, bouncing around ski resorts and a stint as a wilderness firefighter before moving back to Australia. That lasts all of five minutes when he marries a girl on a whim and they have to leave the country to escape both of their families, neither of whom approve. They find a nice place in Nunavut, where the land is harsh and the license plates are shaped like polar bears, and have a long, happy life with a bucketful of kids.

Ed leaves the camp when summer hits to go back to Vancouver, but gets in trouble for his ventures into black hat territory and goes back to ground at the camp. The authorities never find him, but he continues his hacker escapades until he gets bored and decides to attempt a physical break-in. He almost gets away with it, too.

Lien goes to a British Columbia university for pre-med and joins the whitewater team and gets really into it. She goes to the Olympic qualifiers with her four man crew at her peak, but they don't quite make the team cut. She still rows for exercise, but not competitively. She and Natalia spend a few years as roommates while she's in residence. Eventually she gets her PhD, proposing to her boyfriend of a year the night of, using the excuse that she just really wants to be called Dr. Dollar. He doesn't buy it, so he says yes. She opens a dentistry practice and tiger moms the hell out of their son.

Feliciano/Lovino Vargas

Feliciano and Lovino become brother-partner indie movie directors and do pretty well (not without a little help from Papa Rome, of course). They share everything, including Antonio. They also make friends with Gil, who does all of their movie scores until his death. They go to Sundance a few times, but never win anything of note.

Antonio Fernandez Carriedo

Toni stays in California, assimilating into the MLS easily and keeping a rather successful career in it, although whenever he plays for a country, he always goes to the Spanish team, since that is his natural heritage. He stays in California to be with his mother and his boyfriends/brothers. After Gil introduces him to Arthur again, he quickly loses his ingrained childhood fear of his old chemistry lab partner after seeing what he's become, and joins basically everyone else in teasing him incessantly just to get a rise out of him. Although he is Gil's stepbrother (and, just as quickly as their mothers got married, they get divorced in a rather nasty fashion, eventually ex-stepbrother), they are never particularly chatty about emotional issues, so when Gil's bucket list finally leads him to kicking the bucket, he is hit hard by it. He and Francis's relationship is never the same without their third leg, although they do keep in touch.

Alfred Jones and Arthur Kirkland

Alfred ends up going to the University of Arizona to major in astronomy and graduates with a minor in physics, and never leaves campus, getting his master's, then his doctorate, then going straight into teaching, all on the same campus. Yao is his first year roommate, but they have explosions of heated discussions when they actually talk to each other, and easily part ways when Alfred moves off campus with Arthur. After the producers of the Parisian sitcom fly him back over for one more guest appearance when his three-episode cameo arc bumps their ratings up a considerable margin, he stops acting, focusing on school. He does continue his study of languages in depth and breadth, until by the time he gets tenure, when he gets excited, frustrated, or just overall emotional, he speaks in a mix of every language he knows and loses his audience completely.

Arthur goes back to Oxford after the trip, but spends less and less time studying and more and more time working on his novel, started in NaNoWriMo but not nearly complete. Before his first term back is over, he starts sending the manuscript to publishers, and through sheer luck and a hell of a summary page, crafted in part by Magdalena, he gets a contract before his second term is over and drops out, moving to Arizona and a flat with Alfred pretty much as soon as he can pack his bags and make sure that he can keep his contract even if he lives out of the country. His first series, the four-book vampire pirate alternate universe Victorian romance series, is and was his biggest hit, and is what people associate with to his dying day because of its ability to appeal to any age and gender group. He does write under a sort-of penname, A.K. English, because a) the publishers initially believe that it will sell better to women and so would like his printed name to be ambiguous, and b) he is still on estranged terms with his family, and would rather not be put in the awkward position of having one of them track him down from his novels. He writes other things, as well, including a collection of Arthurian legend short stories and book reviews for online magazines, but most of his money flows in from that first series. (For the first few years of living with Alfred in Arizona, to help pay their bills, he bartends part time, where he meets most of Alfred's professors and, as his friends become of age, them, and even after they don't need the extra money and he needs the extra time to meet his editor's deadlines, he goes back and mixes a cocktail or two on occasion.)

Alfred's wisely invested salaries from his childhood acting days lasts all of his life as backup money and a long-term retirement investment. They add money when they can and take some out occasionally for vacations. They take all of the world-spanning vacations they talked about it their youth over time, plus more as they get new ideas for places to go.

After Alfred gets through grad school, they give in and buy a house on the outskirts of the city, and since Arthur's job can be done anywhere and Alfred is permanently attached to his alma mater, they never have a reason to move. They don't adopt or get married, although they do always have at least one dog and one cat around the house, if not more. While Matt's a drifter before his third wife, he comes down to visit them periodically, and when he finally settles down in Quebec, they trade Christmases at each other's houses. Alfred is the calmer twin's favorite uncle.

When Peter is sixteen, he comes and spends a summer with them, since he's starting to get into the surly teenager phase and his parents think he could use a change of pace to sort himself out. Al runs him ragged with hiking in the desert and the mountains a little farther north, and he and Arthur bitch at each other any chance they get.

As far as their love life goes, they are definitely each other's first choice, but their relationship is not monogamous, especially through their twenties. They even have a few threesomes with women that Alfred picks up in bars (one of them is one of his grad students, marine biologist major Victoria (Seychelles)), after Magdalena introduces them to this idea when she realizes she very much wants to sleep with Arthur, but doesn't want to break up their relationship; Alfred is always slightly jealous of how much more she naturally has in common with him. She suggests this when they're all drunk one night when she's visiting (to convince Arthur that he wants her to translate his original novels into Portuguese), and the next thing they know they're all in bed together.

As they get older and mellow out, though, the extra partners stop appearing in the house, until they're in their mid-thirties and realize they haven't slept with anyone but each other in a long time, and they're okay with that.

That's when they finally decide they're in love.

They have a long and very happy life together, Alfred teaching about stars and the universe while Arthur writes satire and historical analysis. They're both over ninety when they decide that it's their time to go, and go for one last camping trip. In the desert. In the winter. With minimal protection from the cold.

The next day, they're found by day hikers in a rigor mortis embrace (and naturally, those poor hikers are rather scarred for life), lying on an open sleeping bag and apparently watching the stars.

Arthur leaves his money to Peter's family, and Alfred to Matt's kids.

Alfred only gets more attractive with age, even when he gets white-haired, becoming the Indiana Jones in professor mode of the astronomy department. His eyesight suddenly drops at forty, and he has to wear glasses like his cousin – a fact that Matt never ceases to bug him about, drawing on years of annoyance over his own terrible eyesight and hatred of contacts. He dresses sloppily, no matter what Francis tries to do, but it works for him. His inability to stay inside for too long, plus his natural coloring, ensures that he's golden-skinned and shiny-haired all his life.

Arthur gives up trying to dress dark, since he spends most of his time writing around the house, and hides in soft sweaters and sweatpants the majority of the time. Next to Alfred, he looks plain, but he doesn't age poorly. Instead, he finally grows out of his baby face and into his eyes. He keeps his hair short pretty consistently after that big haircut in Paris, eventually developing a 'kids these days' stance about hair that is longer than a man's eyebrows. He also grows sideburns – not huge ones, of course, but they're there.