A very short chapter about Remus leaving Tonks in Deathly Hallows. Possibly to be continued, depends on how many reviews I get, but I'm thinking a three-shot? If you haven't read my other two Remus/Tonks fics, I advise that you do, but maybe after you've read this one.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except a drawing of the gorgeous David Thewlis, drawn by me.
"Please, Remus, no!"
She grabs onto his sleeve, begging him for what felt like the hundredth time. He pauses in the open doorway, trying and failing to avoid his wife's teary gaze. "Please," she whimpers, and for a second he feels his defence's fall, only to be reinstalled moments later, as she watches his soft grey eyes take a harsher, more resolved glare.
"No, Dora. No, I have to do this. Harry needs me, and you—" He takes a deep breath, trying to convince himself of his words before he can speak them. "You'll be better off without me holding you back."
He pulls his wrist from her grasp, instantly missing the sensations her fingers on his skin had caused. He doesn't move away though, as he tries to memorise every detail he can about her. He doesn't want to leave in the slightest, but he is sure that he shouldn't stay. She may not think it now, he tells himself repeatedly, but she'll realise sooner or later that having me in her life will only ever be a negative thing.
"I can't damn you to this life, either of you."
Her eyes flick downwards from his for only a second, focusing on the spot on her stomach where in a few months, a small bump would begin to show.
"You wouldn't be damning anybody, Remus, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't care what society says you can or can't do, I'm telling you now that I love you, our child will love you, too, and you can raise this baby with me!" She changed her tone, becoming pleading, desperate. "Please, Remus. Please don't abandon us, not now, you know as well as I do that we need each other now more than ever."
He looks into her eyes. He's tried to avoid doing just that, and for good reason, because now he's stalling. He's seen the genuine fear in her eyes, seen the terror that she has witnessed, the horrors of her present and the nightmares that she will face in the future, because she's seen them too. She's aware of what the future is likely to hold if he leaves now, and it terrifies her. But what Remus sees reflected in her eyes is a monster. He sees what could become if he stays; pain. The pain he would feel as Dora slowly realises what a mistake she has made in allowing him back into her life, the pain of being shunned by the ones who used to love you, the only people who ever seemed to care. The pain their unborn child must suffer on their first full moon, too small to understand why their tiny body is being ripped to shreds from the inside. It's too much for Remus to bear.
He shakes his head, breaking eye contact for what he hopes is the last time; he doesn't think he could manage it again.
He allows himself to face her, although his eyes focus on the floor as he speaks. "I'm sorry, Dora. I really am." He steps forward, unsure of what he's doing, but then his arms fold reflexively around his wife, and he knows. "I love you. I always have and I always will. Never forget that." He plants a soft kiss on the top of her head, and then steps away, through the doorway and into the dark, drizzly night. Seconds before he apparates, he looks back at her for one last time, and watches as her resolve to stand strong crumbles, and she submits to tears. Then he is gone. As he disapparates from Tonks household's doorstep, he hears four simple words coming from his Dora. They make him smile as they reverberate around him until he arrives at his destination, and although he isn't entirely sure that they aren't the product of his emotions combined with his imagination, they echo inside of his mind, where he preserves them perfectly with desperation and hope.
"I love you too," Tonks whispers, watching with tears blurring the last image she sees as her husband disapparates into the night.
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