Thank you to the wonderful jkane180 for being my Beta... you rock! This story was inspired by the Funny or Die, NFL Lockout skit that Taylor did. I hope you all enjoy it and I would love to hear what you think, so please review and leave some feedback. Ali x

All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer!

Chapter 1

I sat on the porch swing, flicking through a current affairs magazine, reading the celebrity gossip, and laughing to myself about the latest outlandish behaviour of one actress. I glanced up from the painted faces and slender bodies of the rich and famous, to take in my surroundings. It was so quiet and peaceful here, a complete contrast to the images staring up at me from the glossy pages in my hands. I really could understand and appreciate why my dad loved it here so much.

Directly in front of the house I could see the corn field. The plants were so tall they towered over me, and I could hear them rustling eerily in the slight breeze. The field wasn't huge, but you could lose your bearings pretty quickly if you ran through it, and trust me: I would know. I often got a little lost and frightened when I was younger, only for my dad, Charlie, to come find me and wrap me in his arms soothingly. He'd then scold me lightly, while stifling a chuckle or two, for venturing into the field. To either side of the field were a couple of large paddocks. We had some stables at the back of the house which we rented out to some locals in town. They came and took care of their own horses and used the paddocks for exercising them; we just supplied the stables, hay, and land, which provided a reasonable income all year round.

Beyond the corn field was a fairly large wood, which had a small stream flowing through it, and at its center was a beautiful creek where Dad and I would fish whenever I was visited him. On the other side of the wood was La Push, the Quileute Reservation, and it's beautiful cliffs and beaches.

Charlie and I were regular visitors to the Reservation, and I had many great memories of visiting my dad when I was younger and enjoying wonderful barbequed food around glowing warm bonfires on the beach and staying up late listening to magical stories. My mother Renee left Charlie when I was two years old, saying she couldn't bear to live so remotely. She was a city girl at heart and really couldn't settle on the farm. It was far too secluded, and being on the outskirts of Forks near the border of La Push meant there were no shops in walking distance. The center of Forks was about a fifteen minute drive away. Not far for most people, but too far for Renee. Also, it was pretty small, with a few shops for necessities, but no real big chain stores, and Renee loved shopping. For a real shopping spree she had to venture into Port Angeles, which although bigger than Forks, was much further away and not all that much bigger.

She also loved the sun, and unfortunately, Forks has never been known for its glorious sunny weather...for its downpours, maybe! Renee loved Charlie immensely, and he insisted to this day that she really did try to feel at home here, but after she had me, she became more and more restless. They started arguing a lot, and in the end Charlie told her go. I think he hoped that after she'd had a break she'd want to come back, but she didn't. She took me with her, and we went to live in California. It was so Renee; it had the sun and the bustling lifestyle she craved. We visited Charlie for a couple of weeks each summer, and Renee was always itching to leave by the end of the visit.

Then, when I was eight years old she started feeling unsettled again and decided she wanted to travel around Europe. Charlie didn't like the idea of me living like a 'nomad' and being so far away, so he insisted that I live with him on the farm. He gave a pretty good argument; clean air, regular schooling, and a settled home life. It didn't take a lot of convincing for Renee to agree that I move back to Forks to live with Charlie. That was ten years ago and I couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

It was early evening, and the sun, which had made an appearance, was low in the sky. The air had turned slightly cooler, and I shivered a little as a chilly breeze ran across my bare arms. Looking out across the field, my mind turned to college. "Argh" I groaned. I really didn't want to go to college; hell, I would have been more than happy just getting a job in town, but Charlie had been pretty insistent that I continue my education after I graduated. I'd sent off some applications, under Charlie's watchful eye, and had a few offers come back, and now it was decision time. Well! I didn't want to think about it today; school finished yesterday, today was Thursday, so I told myself "Next week. Enjoy the weekend and think about it next week." I returned my gaze to the magazine and flipped the page, and well, hello! That was more like it...there, in my hands, was the bare-chested body of a gorgeous new young actor. I started reading his interview, after scrutinizing his picture of course, when suddenly, a loud deep laugh made me jump. Around the side of the house, heading my way, was Jacob Black, followed by his two friends, Embry Call and Quil Ateara.

"Seriously, Jake! Man... you should have seen him. It was fucking hilarious, right, Em?"

Jacob and Embry were carrying a pile of logs each, and Quil was walking backwards in front of them, doing a little skip every few steps to avoid causing a pile-up.

Jacob was laughing so hard, and Embry was shaking his head from side to side with a huge grin on his face.

"It's true Jake, I swear... Jared is soooo pissed we're gonna hear about this for weeks... no, months!"

At that moment, Quil, rubbing his hands together like the big kid he was, tripped and fell backwards onto his butt. Jacob and Embry, unable to stop in time, each caught a foot on one of Quil's feet and stumbled. Both managed to keep their balance, but logs rained down from their arms. Luckily, the majority landed on the hard ground. A couple caught Quil on the shins, and he cursed loudly while Jacob and Embry doubled over with laughter.

Of course I, being witness to the whole sorry fiasco, couldn't help but laugh out loud. Seeing Quil writhing around on the floor howling and holding his shins while Jacob and Embry tried to control their laughter enough to pick up the fallen logs was just too much for my pensive mood; I laughed so hard my eyes filled with tears that were soon streaming down my face.

Jake, Embry, and Quil all looked up at the porch at the same time. They obviously hadn't seen me and Quil turned a deep shade of red.

"Hey, Bells," Jake called, still laughing, "wanna give us a hand over here?" He threw his arms out, motioning towards the logs.

Quil suddenly perked up and called, "Yeah, give us a hand, Bella. Jake said you like to get down and dirty!"

Embry snorted loudly.