Contest entry for Spanking the Monkey! For additional contest entries and to vote July 7 - 21, 2011, please visit: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2945329/spankthemonkey4U or get the link on my profile page.

Title: Feel for You

Name: TwiliteAddict and RosaBella75 (aka IslandWoman221)

Pairing: Esme x Carlisle

Rating: M

Warning: Written for readers age 18 or older. Just to let you know, this is not my typical romance story, it was an adventure into the outrageous: a one shot entry in a writing challenge about self-love (no, not like good-self esteem, but masterbation). If that is not your cup of tea, or you think you won't respect me in the morning, please don't read. Otherwise, have fun and vote. Of course, RosaBella wrote the self-loving details! Oh, what trouble my twifie gets me into!

Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended, we're just having fun putting them in opportunistic situations.

Summary: Contest Entry for Spank the Monkey. Saunter back to a time when self-love was as taboo as sex outside of marriage. But what's a young woman to do when sexual urges become too strong to resist? Isn't self sex the safest sex?

~o~

Tallahassee, Florida
Summer, 1956


"Good Lord, it's hot! I'm about to melt," Rose stated the obvious. Sitting on her best friend's porch swing, the two rocked back and forth in a futile attempt to create any kind of air movement resembling a breeze. Giving up, Rose removed her neck scarf to dab at the beads of sweat collecting on her forehead. Nothing was worse than the suffocating summer humidity in the South.

"Another glass of lemonade?" Esme offered with genuine Southern hospitality.

"Oh, hell no. I've had so much of that shit my eyeballs are floating."

"Well, what do you suggest we do to take our minds off the heat, then, Miss Peevish?"

Rose heaved a deep sigh realizing she needed to make nice with her friend. "Why don't you tell me what clubs you are going to join at University this fall?" she asked disconsolately before becoming much more animated, despite the heat. "Or, maybe, we can talk about boys... You can't hide how you feel about the new kid from me, Es."

Esme blushed, realizing she should have known she'd left Rose the perfect opening to pursue her favorite topic. "Golly, am I really that obvious?"

Rose snorted and gave Esme a telling look. "Though I do have to say you can pick them! He's cute. Seems very mature. Perfect for you ... and if he's from New York City, I bet he has L' Expérience." Rose put a really bad French accent on the last two words.

Esme bit her lower lip; she knew what type of "L' Expérience" Rose was referring to. Carlisle had moved from New York City to Tallahassee midway through the school year. He was the quarterback at his old school, and his physical fitness was obvious. Arriving so far into the school year, he had to settle for second string, but that didn't matter to Esme; he was tall, toned and she loved his Northern accent. Ever since the day she saw him remove his sweaty shirt after football practice, her mind seemed to be preoccupied with him.

Esme shifted slightly on the swing. The thought of him did thingsto her.

"Rosie! Hey, Rosie!" a deep voice called out from the road.

The two wilting young women perked up at seeing a large cloud of dust erupting from the dirt road in front of Esme's house. A gang of guys went flying by on bicycles and were certainly in a hurry to get somewhere. The big voice belonged to an even bigger youth, Emmett.

"Hey, yourself!" Rose waved and quickly inched her full skirt just above her knees.

Rose loved to flirt and it was her dream to win the attention of Emmett McCarty. Neither a greaser nor a teddy boy, he marched to his own drum, preferring to wear tight jeans and t-shirts to show off his well-muscled physique.

"Now look who's ogling?" Esme taunted. That is, until she caught sight of a blond, slicked-back duck-tail (or... D.A. as Rose would have called it) reflecting the sun through the dust cloud.

Rose snapped her fingers in front of Esme's blank expression and laughed. "Em and Carlisle have been hanging out together ever since they discovered they're both attending Florida State this fall. They're gonna be roomies."

"Where do you think they're going?" Esme asked, still staring intently at the rapidly moving forms. Suddenly they ditched their bikes and bolted into the thick brush.

"Probably to the old watering hole." Rosalie shrugged, as she glanced over to see an eager grin sprout over Esme's face.

"Let's go too!"

"We weren't invited, Es."

"Who says we have to be invited? It's a public water hole. We're college women now! Independent."

Rose knew that gleam in the sharp blue of Esme's eyes - there was no stopping Esme once her mind was made up.

The two ran toward the brush, clamoring through the wild growth until the boys' voices became clear.

"Shhh!" Rose put a finger to her lips and hissed as they edged closer and crouched to stay concealed from sight. Carefully, Esme pulled aside the slender, leafy branch that obstructed the view of their quarry.

The guys were skipping stones across the large pond while carrying on several conversations at once. Suddenly, the boy they knew as Riley hollered out, "Hey Em, my sister told me Rose thinks you're pretty boss."

Esme and Rose exchanged excited glances.

"Yeah, she thinks this is pretty boss!" he bellowed, grabbing his groin with his right hand.

Esme gasped in shock.

Rose whispered with a smirk, "Well, it is true."

Esme's eyes widened.

"Oh, Es, don't be such a prudie square! Aren't you the least bit curious? You can't tell me you don't think about Carlisle's… anatomy. Besides, what do you think about when you touch your tulip - you know, when you're by yourself?"

"What?" Esme shrieked indignantly before Rose yanked her closer to the ground to keep her from going Ape.

"Shhhh! Listen don't knock it until you try it. Anyway, I heard guys do that sort of thing at least five times a day! I figure if I keep it to two or three times a week, I'm probably normal."

Esme nodded, Rose's calculations did seem to make sense. Anyway, in Esme's eyes, Rose was the expert, as she seemed to always have some kind of unsolicited sexual answer which Esme secretly enjoyed. At least Rose's mother was willing to talk about such issues, unlike Esme's mother who told her not to worry, she would learn all she needed to know once she was married to a "nice man" someday.

So many things were happening to her body when she daydreamed about Carlisle... and Elvis - oh, how there was something raw and sexual about the way he swiveled those hips. Elvis the Pelvis, they called him, and she found the more she thought about Elvis, the swivelliershe felt down in her own pelvis. Well, that was too embarrassing to discuss even with your best friend, even though Esme suspected Rose learned most of her knowledge from watching Elizabeth Taylor or Marilyn Monroe movies!

However, lately she found she could derive some pleasure by squeezing her thighs together at just the right rhythm. When she did that and thought of Carlisle, her panties would become wet. The most perplexing part - doing so tended to cause sudden shivers to ripple up her spine; a result she found herself seeking out again and again, and wondering, how far could this feeling go?

A loud shout pulled Esme's attention back to the rowdy boys around the water hole.

They had starting start pushing and wrestling – generally working up a sweat before they chased each other up the trail and disappeared behind the line of scrubby trees. There appeared to be some sort of race or bet brewing between them.

Without warning, Emmett and Carlisle barreled out of the underbrush, shedding their clothes as fast as they could - obviously in a race to the water. The girls weren't sure if they were the winners or the losers of the bet, but the view of the two men running naked was quite a shock to their delicate sensibilities!

While Rose naturally recovered quickly, Esme gasped, a hand flying unbidden to her suddenly heaving chest and pounding heart and she tried to run away.

Without missing a beat, Rose clasped a hand over Esme's mouth, determined to not get caught and miss the opportunity to see what might happen next. She pulled the previously fleeing Esme down into the brush with her, and couldn't help but snicker at Esme's wide eyes bulging over the top of her covered mouth.

What the young women missed as they ducked for cover was Carlisle had already made it to the pond first and caught a glimpse of a bright pink bow tying back a caramel-colored ponytail from within the brush.

Slowly Esme peeled Rose's hand from her mouth, but, by now, she was more intrigued than startled and not quite as ashamedly eager to resume her spying as she ought to have been. With mouths agape, the pair sat frozen - memorizing the sight. Esme could feel her cheeks blaze. The heat in her face seemed to flow downward, making her blouse suddenly feel oddly restrictive, and a deep achy feeling seemed to tie itself into a steadily constricting knot deep inside her belly and between her legs.

It was an ache (her womanly instincts whispered to her) that the hard, sculpted, naked – male – body before her could give her rapturous relief from. Carlisle could show her how far this new feeling could go... and the thought of that possibility rushed through her, sending a correspondingly deep tremor through her entire system. Devouring him with suddenly unabashedly hungry eyes, Esme watched as Carlisle's feet sent up splashes of water up onto his thighs and calves. For Esme, the droplets appeared to be sliding in slow motion as if reluctant to return to the water.

Esme continued to watch as Carlisle slowed his flight into the water to saunter slowly into the cool green cover of the pond. For the briefest of moments, she felt their eyes meet! "No, it couldn't be!" Esme's mind rejected the idea as quickly as it had come. She watched his jaw clench from the side, which for some reason, made her think a sly smile had stretched across Carlisle's face. Her vantage point granted her the opportunity to savor the sight of the water slowly rising over the pale toned flesh of his buttocks, back, and then finally over his arms up to the wide pale strips on his shoulders where his sleeveless undershirt had prevented his tanning.

Esme gasped under her breath, "He knows."

Heated spots bloomed across her cheeks and neck once again. Somehow knowing he could feel her unrepentant eyes on him only served to make her observances more forbidden. For all she knew, she should be a good girl and look away, she couldn't bring herself to do it, instead, savoring the illicit moment with baited breath.

By now the other boys were crashing into the water, and the spell Carlisle had cast was broken. Esme felt Rose tugging on her arm, obviously hoping to use the raucous clamor to make a hasty escape.

"Holy crap, Es!" Rose panted as they put some distance between them and the water hole. "Did you see the size of Emmett?"

"It's obvious he's lifting weights," Esme tried to come up with a reply, when honestly, she didn't even remember if she saw Emmett.

"That is not what I meant!" Rose giggled at Esme's apparent naiveté. "Listen, I'm running home to grab my 35 mm - be right back. I've just gottaget some snaps of this!"

Without waiting for a response, Rose took off, leaving Esme alone to make a decision; stay by herself and continue peeping (she couldn't hide from the fact of what she wasdoing) or sneak off like she knew she ought to. Esme really wanted to stay, and her body begged her to, but her mind told her to scoot home like a good girl.

In the end, curiosity about the new feelings coursing through her body won out. It had to be now while she had the guts… and the motivation! Determinedly, she stuffed down her natural feelings of timidity and climbed through the overgrowth until she came upon an empty area almost out of earshot of the pond, far enough away she figured. It was bathed in the warm sun of the day and quite inviting especially with how it was completely surrounded by high reeds and grasses right down to the water for privacy.

Esme sat down, legs tucked to the side, her ankles properly crossed, savoring the delicious abandon of Carlisle's laughter in the distance, allowing it to distract her from the unsettling sensation between her legs. At first she simply listened, but before long, thinking of Carlisle caused her mind revisit the clandestine sight of Carlisle naked as a Jay bird. The fantasy quickly took on a life of its own and in it, not only did he see her watching - he approached her.

Reclining back into the grass and reeds, Esme squeezed her thighs tightly with the vision in her head taking a scandalously pleasing turn. Committing fully to the experience, she dropped from her elbows to lay all the way back, extending her legs out and exulting in the sensation of the breeze flipping her skirt up above her knees while doing nothing to right it.

Esme had to smile, Rose was right, it couldfeel good to be bad. Returning to her daydream, she felt her breathing accelerate again as images of Carlisle's eyes, running up and down her body, and of laying spread before him in the bent-over grass and reeds near the edge of the large pond, filled her mind's eye to overflowing.

The intensity of the expression on his face, shining brightly from his eyes, showed his unequivocal approval of just how much of her leg lay exposed to the sun and air. Imagining him looking at her bare limbs left an imaginary trail of heat up her already damp and overheated skin. The irresistible thought of him licking his lips while looking down at the rapid heaving of her bosom, which was suddenly swelling against the thin, restraining fabric of her blouse and brassiere, nearly caused her to moan aloud. The tension in her nipples and between her legs intensified a thousand fold.

Her hand, which had been cupping the curve of her flaming cheek, slowly began to creep down the side of her neck before turning over to allow the backs of her fingers to caress their way in a slow slide down and across the moist skin of her neck. Just below the collarbone, her hand became more audacious and turned to cup the expanse of her chest above her breast.

It was pleasing, and she could feel the hammering pace of her heart thrumming against her chest as it rose and fell in fast panting breaths. Pressing her lips together, she boldly drew a hand down further to settle it onto the top swell of her breast. Just below her small finger lay the achingly tight knot of her nipple. Never before had she suspected it could form into such a pointed peak, nor that allowing it to rub up against the palm of her hand through the slight layers of cloth could feel so good. When Esme ventured to give it a little squeeze, it felt even better, and she had to stifle yet another groan.

It was all too easy to then imagine it was hishand. Her body arched sharply against the ground as an intense bolt of sensation coursed through her body, and a soft gasp to fly from her throat. It was thrilling and new, and she lay panting and frozen for several brief moments absorbing the impact her imagination was having on her previously innocent body. She never knew such secrets were locked away in her own flesh.

How far could the feeling go?

Trailing her hand down across her belly, and feeling the muscles of her abdomen tighten under the soft flesh, she allowed her hand to slide over the bump of her hip bone, down the outside of her thigh. There she found the hem of her skirt and the creamy fabric of her slip which had been bared wantonly to the world as she lay back in the grass. Fingering the slip with the tips of her fingers somehow symbolized the final turning point for Esme. She knew if she simply pulled down her skirt, she would stay the demure, repressed young lady her mother wanted her to be. Continuing her exploration, on the other hand meant leaving behind convention and declaring independence – her womanhood; at least within the privacy of her own mind ...and with the one man who had awoken the cravings of her body.

Determined to let out this new brazen side of herself, Esme consciously reached for the hem, bravely sliding the skirts slowly up the fronts of her thighs. She lay panting for several moments taking in the startling feeling of having her ivory skin exposed to the sun in such an unabashed way. The tentative breeze danced across the fine hairs of her legs, making her feel more naked than if she had stripped nude.

She shivered from the knowledge of what she was about to do. Slipping her hand down to touch the top of her panties above her navel she realized - this was it. After this, there really was no turning back. Even if no one else ever knew, shewould know. No matter what anyone else thought, Esme knew she wasn't the mousy, little goody-two-shoes everyone else took her for. This was her opportunity to take her femininity into her own hands.

Quite literally.

She couldn't help the bashful grin and slight giggle that sprang from her lips. Taking a deep steeling breath, Esme pushed her panties down her legs and kicked off her shoes, before bending her knees to slide the undergarment over her feet. She could feel the breeze swirling against the lower curve of her buttocks as it moved between her bottom and calves below her still bent knees, creating a slight cooling sensation under the curly hairs. Curious, she reached between her legs to feel the dampness there. Licking her suddenly dry lips she cupped her hand over the area, pressing her hand against her pubic bone and once again imagining a certainpair of eyes enraptured with the sight of her exposed flesh. A shiver tingled up her spine. The sun's scorching rays licked at her body leaving her able to imagine the pleasure of a man's gaze upon her exposed flesh all the more easy to achieve.

Touching her skin in a way she never had before, she seized the opportunity to investigate the sensations. Closing her eyes, she surrendered to this tantalizing exploration. Esme had never thought about just how soft the skin of her thighs was, or how silky the curls between her legs were. She shuddered as her hand slipped feather-light over the flesh just above those soft strands, definitely somewhere she would like him to touch. She thought of how Carlisle's sports roughened fingers, long and slender, would feel as they learned her body.

At last, Esme couldn't bear the tension any longer, the ache was just too intense. She knew it was all building up to something, she needed to go further. Curling her index finger to the far back edge of the twisted curls, she dipped it between the now swollen folds and into the reservoir of moisture she found collected there, before sliding her finger down through the center to the building aching. The occasional brushing of her fingers against parts of her flesh, shot shivers of delight through her and reminded her of the brushing of rose petals against skin. That was exactly what the explorations felt like - a questing through the central petals of a moist silky-soft rose. Even though she'd been told by her best friend that it looked more like the insides of an oyster 'down there', she chose, instead, to envision a flower blooming for the first time, never having used a hand mirror to investigate the area the way Rose claimed to have done.

Learning what felt pleasurable quite quickly, brushes of her finger sent repeated shocks of intensity through Esme's whole body. Her breathing picked up, and her hips bucked forward of their own volition. Driven by the images of Carlisle in her head, her touches became more audacious. Swirling through her drenched flesh she had to bite on her bottom lip to stifle the moans begging to break free. Esme's increasing heartbeat was so very loud in her ears, it nearly drowned out the sounds of nature around her and the nearby voices of boys at play. She hadn't noticed one particular voice was missing from the crowd.

Awareness of her surroundings prickled at the outside of her awareness, but she was too far gone to care. Once again, the image of Carlisle pushing through the reeds to stumble upon her like this – bare, wet and uncontrolled -sent an intense bolt of desire surging through her body. It blazed in shame… and desire.

Her hands began moving faster - flicking, circling, chasing the feelings that added to the swirling tension mounting and tightening inside her. Her muscles clenched, thighs clamping tightly together as her free hand alternately grasped and fluttered against the tide surging through her flesh filling her like an unstopped tsunami behind a foolish dam.

As her legs trembled, the tension was building, building. Esme squeezed her eyes tightly shut, locking away the rest of the world, losing herself in the intensity of the moment, aware not even of the wild pounding of her heart or the heaving pants of unbridled breathing.

On the breeze, she thought she heard him calling her name.

Esme's body fought to move, and the tension fought to still her until the memory of Carlisle's beautiful smiling face flooded her mind with the sight of the tight flex and pull of his perfectly muscled body as he sauntered enticingly into the water just minutes before.

A cry struggled to fly past her open lips as her entire body went rigid, arching sharply and contracting in upon itself. Clamping her thighs tightly around her wrist as quaking ripples cascaded through her flesh, she felt flayed open in an unending crash. Her breathing caught and strained to explode from her. Esme barely had the wherewithal to keep her voice from giving vent to the intensity of the experience by calling out aloud. Aftershocks rippled tantalizingly along her nerves before she yanked her hand away from the now overly sensitized area. Talk about a lavender haze...

Exhausted, but feeling a relief she had never known before, Esme lingered in the images still dancing in her mind.

"Oh Carlisle..." she muttered.

"Yes, Esme?" came a velvety voiced response crooned quietly from just above her...


A/N:
RosaBella75: Holy heckballs, TA!

TwiliteAddict: *laughs knowingly* Guess she wasn't quite as sneaky as she thought she was!

RosaBella75: LOL True! Guess we'll just have to trust in Carlisle to be the gentleman we know him to be… So, what did you all think of our little entry for the Spank the Monkey Contest (fanfiction(dot)net/u/2945329/spankthemonkey4U)?

TwiliteAddict: There's lots of great entries! Who da thunk peeps like writing about self-love so much. We're a strange bunch!

RosaBella75: We hope our slang from the 50's didn't throw any of you!

TwiliteAddict: Just in case we did, a D.A. was called a Duck Ass or Duck-tail (in polite company) and was a greased back hairstyle popular at the time.

RosaBella75: "Into the purple haze" was a 50's term for falling into love. I stretched it into kind of a lusty, crush love, and hope it's not too far from authentic!

TwiliteAddict: Thanks for checking us ... er, our story out!

RosaBella75: *laughs* That too! And hope you'll be kind enough to click the review button and tell us what you thought! Reviews motivate TA to get her whip out and keep memotivated to keep writing! *mwah* We are working on a "Carlilsle" chapter 2!

TwiliteAddict: *wags eyebrows* We sincerely thank our fabulous last minute pre-readers and betas: TwifanUK, Gasaway Alley, and punctuation goddess - Viola Cornuta!