Title : (In)finitesimal Affection (One-Shot)
Fandom : Hidarime Tantei Eye
Pairing : None
Genre : Angst, hurt/comfort
Summary : Actually, is there any warm feeling left in Yumeto for Ainosuke…?
AN : Time-line was taken from episode 4. I thought I couldn't really step out from the time-line writing this -_-;;
Warning : unbeta-ed, terrible English, my writing style LOL
Coldly, mercilessly, nonchalantly I watch him being beaten up. Him struggling to fight back. Him shouting like mad. (I even feel my lips curving into a little satisfied smirk). Him trying so hard to protect his underclassman. Him...him watching me with shocked look and eyes full of hatred.
Somehow, there's a weird nostalgic feeling stirs inside me when I see him staring back at me. A feeling I don't want to admit. A feeling I don't want to know, because if I do it'll be like the end. I will shatter alone and be gone. Haha, of course I can't let that thing happen, at least now. I must do what I should do; making him recall that time, making him understand me, making him—
"…" Not allowing myself to sink further into useless contemplation, I place an arm on the metal barrier, blocking my sight from his battered figure. As the hand of time tickle forward, I count calmly (a mask to conceal the humanity in me for I must become a devil to fulfill the mission; the mission to save none than myself and him).
The lamps go out.
I can hear Sayama Hitomi screaming and see her rushing to the collapsed boys, giving him a little shake and crying out his name. I watch in silence then decide to meet Detective Kato and report that it's my doing of turning off the lamps. The man seems confused for a little. It can't be helped. He's also influenced by the heat and adrenaline from the bracelet, nevertheless.
I smirk inwardly.
"Let's bring them to hospital" Kato says to me; the tone is much more like an order.
I nod and hurriedly approach the center of the crowd. I pat the woman's shoulder to silently tell her everything would be okay. Well, I'm a police now so at least I must act like one, right?
I take him in my arms. And I let Kato take the other boy. We dash out from the building. As we reach outside there's already an ambulance. I bet Kato has called hospital. As expected from veteran.
"Sakisaka, you too go to hospital. I'll check the situation here"
I almost laugh ironically at this. It's too crazy. Really. At a moment, I attempted to let him killed. At another next moment, I'm going to save him. It's so mad. Mad and ironically sad. But I don't care. To be a devil you need things like that; intelligent, mad, merciless, irony, coldness, sadness, suffering and hurt.
Then we drove out in frantic speed and roaring siren.
Well, it's such a long hours of hectic in hospital; with Shimada immediately is confined in emergency room and him in another room, and I end up calming the Sayama-woman who seems to cry non-stop in desperation.
"It's fine. Doctor said they'd be fine" I try, of course half-heartedly.
She nods a little, sobbing. "I'll… I'll wait in Ainosuke's room until he wakes up…" She bows quickly to me and leaves.
I bow my head slightly at her back, smirking ever so widely in definite triumph. There isn't anyone around me who will ever notice. My plan is going perfect so far. It's so perfect; and beautiful too. It definitely will have a lovely ending as well; a perfect ending for me and for him also.
Then, because all I have to do now is waiting, I take a seat on a bench in a hall, next to the door of his room. I glance at my watch and count inaudibly. It's time for another of my pawns moves.
2 seconds. 1 second. 0—
"I'm sorry, Sakisaka-San" Sayama comes out from the room with a pleading look on her frustrated face. "Can you wait inside and take care of Ainosuke if he ever wakes up? I must answer a call" She gestures to her cell phone—there's a man's voice shouting impatiently.
I nod with serious look, cleverly hiding the fact I'm actually celebrating my perfect plan. After she walks away in quick steps, I slip inside the room quietly, closing the door in the process. Dim greets me but I adapt fast. It's so light yet so heavy the steps I take when approaching the sleeping battered figure on bed.
I scrutinize him. I study his sleeping face. It's still the same as I last saw it. Though there are some differences because now he's more hopeless and defenseless.
It's so tempting to kill him instantly. The urge to strangle him squeezes my nerves. I almost can't hold it anymore as I slowly reach out a hand to his neck. I smirk. It's really easy. Just like before, but now is easier because I don't have any doubt—
No. It's not the right time to finish him. I must make him suffering for more. And that definitely won't do except giving him more time to endure that—
But I know I'm just contradicting (again).
I move my hand up, gently caressing his hair, shoving aside the strands of his bangs. I touch his cheek, holding it when I lean down. There's just a gap of centimeters away between our faces. I wait for thing I shall not expect. My evil side keeps tempting me to kill him, but my mind is blank for a certain reason I won't acknowledge.
He stirs slightly. I remain cold and still.
"…Nii…chan…" A soft mutter escapes through a little gap of his lips; bitter and longing and full of love once I have lost.
And there I see him crying—no, those drops of tears on the cheek are not from his eye.
They are mine.
I lean away, gently sweeping the tears from his cheek and from my own eye (my left eye). My mind is still blank. And the devil inside me keeps shouting impatiently like mad. But I still remain cold; as cold as I should be for I'm not allowed to go back to the weird nostalgic feeling since I've planned to move forward on the dark path I've already chosen; the only path for my sinful self, my devilish self, my wicked self, and my pity self.
Silently, I take a step backward and turn, walking away from him. At that time, the Sayama-woman goes in. She bows to me once. My lips form a smile though I can't really feel it. I pat her left shoulder a bit firmly, voicelessly telling her that everything is okay—or it looks like that for it seems my devilish wicked self finally takes over (again) because the mean of the pat is none other than to place a bug.
Infinitesimal; my affection towards him is now. It should be like that.
It should be…
19 December 2010
AN : lame I know, but…I have a little confidence in this (well, just the plot and concept XDD) *whacked*
Writing this while listening to all versions of 'Donor/Recipient' (OST Hidarime Tantei Eye) I really like the song~