A/N: Humor me, if you please. Forgive any details I have made up and correct them if they are horrendously wrong ^^
Disclaimer: Clearly not mine.
The Spanish Inquisition
"Soooo," Jim drawled, "you and Uhura, huh?"
The bridge was completely deserted aside from the captain and his first officer. Everyone else had since gone to sleep. It had seemed illogical at the time to join the steady flow of lieutenants out of the bridge, especially since Spock was not the least bit tired. However, Spock now found himself wishing that he, in fact, had turned in for the night. Though the complexities of human pranks usually escaped him, he could not help but thinking that the captain had planned this…somehow.
"I do not know to what you are referring, Captain," Spock answered steadily, his face mask-like.
"Oh, don't you?" Jim replied with a smirk, clearly enjoying himself. "What about when you two were on the transporter? If we weren't so pressed for time, I might have told you off for breaking Starfleet regulation and told you to get a room."
Still no response, aside from the twitch of an eyebrow. Spock was normally restrained, Jim thought, but this was something else. He seemed to be trying too hard to keep his feelings at bay. He was clearly with Uhura, Jim thought, but he wanted to hear Spock say it.
"It would have been unnecessary for us to have relocated elsewhere. There was nothing to hide considering there was nothing happening."
"No feelings for your ex-student then?"
"Negative. The mere thought is completely illogical."
Spock busied himself with studying a copy of the captain's log on a little screen, though he probably knew it by heart.
"Oh?" Jim was getting annoyed. Damn elusive Vulcan. A change of course was in order.
Jim let out a massive sigh, slouching in his captain's chair. He covered his face for good measure, but could still see Spock's face through a crack in his fingers. Spock looked relieved, but if he thought this talk was over, he had another thing coming.
"Well I must tell you that is such a relief, old pal," Jim said, hamming it up for Spock's benefit. He glanced up at Spock to check his effect, but the bewildered Vulcan merely stared at him.
With a wistful smile, Jim continued. "Because I definitely did not want to risk our blossoming friendship over some girl."
He paused letting that sink in.
"But now – finally – I can act on these feelings for Uhura, I mean Nyota."
Spock's ears were steadily turning green, his eyebrows raised in disbelieving shock.
"Thanks for that earlier, by the way. I've been trying to get her to tell me her first name ever since I spotted her lithe form in that bar back in Iowa."
Spock was most definitely green now, his face flushed. Savoring the effect he was having, Jim went in for the kill.
"Actually, Spock," Jim said while getting up, "I was wondering if I could ask a favor. Cover the post for me? I have a bit of unfinished business to attend to, if you know what I mean." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively at the last bit, making sure that even Spock was able to catch the innuendo.
Spock jumped up, alarmed in spite of himself. He shifted imperceptibly toward the door.
"May I inquire as to what business this pertains, Captain?"
"I think you know perfectly well, my Vulcan friend. I at least need a glimpse of Nyota's sleeping face. Though part of me hopes she isn't asleep."
Jim began walking confidently to the door. Spock was already there though, his fast fingers already typing the code to lock their only exit.
"Computer, open this door," Jim said loudly.
"Computer, I urge you not to listen to him."
"Out of my way Spock, this doesn't concern you."
Jim saw the punch coming, and dodged it swiftly, backing up a few steps. He had no interest in fighting Spock again.
"Well, well. This is quite a reaction for someone you supposedly do not care about. Unless, of course, you were lying as usual." Jim readied himself to dodge again, but Spock just stood there gazing into space.
"I…" Spock paused. "If I am really that transparent it is futile to deny… it is true, I do, that is to say I am…" Spock seemed truly lost for words. "I-I do harbor feelings for Lieutenant Uhura. She's quite lovely, but to express the same sentiment yourself would be most unwise," Spock threatened. Glaring at his friend, he added: "I presume you are happy now?"
"Extremely," Jim said beaming. "In fact, you may leave now, you are dismissed."
Spock's eyes were wide.
"Though I trust this sort of deception will not happen again. That's an order."
Spock briefly nodded, unlocked the door, and was gone. Jim could have sworn he heard Spock muttering "fascinating" as he exited the bridge.
Jim strutted back over to his chair and settled down, admiring the stars of the far-off galaxies he could see from the Enterprise.
"That'll teach him to bloody keep secrets from me," he muttered.
Seconds later he added with a grin, "Wait till Bones hears about this one."
Minutes passed. It was awfully quiet. Jim shifted in his seat a few times, seemingly not able to keep still. He almost felt lonely. Before long he was on his feet, pacing. Finally giving in to some inner struggle, the captain turned on autopilot.
"I should probably go check on those two kids, just to be safe."
He swiftly left the room.
A/N: Reviews mean a lot ^^