Hello people! This is a little story I thought of when I was reading Lovely Bones last year. That time, I was writing for Lelouch's birthday and I thought I should do one for Suzaku as well. So, I wrote this during the free time I had for half the year. Hahaha… Happy birthday to dear Suzaku! (10th July) Do continue to love Lulu always, kay?
This story is a little related to the previous three one shots I wrote for Code Geass. There is slight mentions about incidents that happened in that three stories but I don't really think it would affect much though it would be clearer on what are they talking about if you read them. They are, in sequence, 'A Visit and Confessions', 'A Memory Left Behind' and 'Freedom'. That will explain why Suzaku can kill himself.
After Life: Our Happily Ever After
The dark was calming, so soothing that it would be fine if I never, ever open my eyes again. I did not feel the numbing pain I felt previously anymore. My body was floating, so light and lifelessly.
That's right! I was dead. I killed myself.
Smiling, no, rather that, I was grinning from ear to ear. If anyone were to see me now, they would think I was insane or some nut case but I could not help it. I was incredibly happy, so happy that the tears fell. Unable to contain my growing joy, I burst out laughing in glee. After all these years of suffering, I never wanted anything more than killing myself but thanks to the promise I made and that stupid power, Geass, I was unable to die. In fact, I should have died many, many years ago. True, Kururugi Suzaku was dead to the public but who could have guessed that for the past 25 years, the man waltzing around as Zero was me, the very same Suzaku that a selfish man saved just to torture him further?
But all those, I had already forgave him. I had forgiven him though I had said I would not. How could I not forgive him? He was the start of everything as well as the end. Without him, there would never have been war then or peace now. There was so much he did, both for the world as well for us. He had been a great friend, a splendid brother and a capable leader.
However, the most important was not all those reasons above. It was because I loved him and still did. Come to think of it, it was not even for me to forgive him. He did nothing wrong. From his way of thinking, from his point of view, all he did was for the sake of the world and his sister. It was us, I in fact, who did not understand his doings.
I let out a loud sigh. Who cares now anyway? I have no more attachments to the living world. I was no longer part of it. What happens there did not matter to me anymore. Maybe I would miss Nunnally a little. But she was no longer a small kid who needs her brother or me to guide her. She was a full grown woman, mature and kind in thinking for the sake of others and the country. Thinking of how time had passed beautifully for her and I was beside her for more than half of it, I felt pride surging through me. Smiling foolishly once again, I laughed at how conceited I was. All I did was watch over her, protect her. The one who gave her all this was him.
"Suzaku." A gentle voice, distantly familiar interrupted my thoughts. Still, I was unwilling to open my eyes, savoring the calming darkness, chuckling at my own childishness. By right, I should be in my forties but due to some weird Geass side effect, under the cloak of Zero, I was exactly how I was when I was seventeen. Even Nunnally had a wrinkle or two on her forehead but there was no sign on mine. There was not a single strand of white hair on my mess of brown hair and no indication from my body where its physical state should start to deteriorate.
"Come on, Suzaku. Open your eyes." The voice, a lady, instructed me. A soft hand touched my shoulder. I reluctantly opened my eyes a little, just enough for me to peek. The burst of pink suddenly brought me back to my senses and I jumped up immediately. As she stood slowly, I came face to face to my princess.
"Euphemia-sama!" I knelt in front of her, a habit. She looked a little upset but smiled to cover it.
"25 years and we had became strangers, haven't we?" She asked teasingly. Her tone carried a certain emotion I could not quite place.
"I'm sorry…" I apologized solemnly, another habit. Knights were supposed to apologize even when they have no idea what they are begging their pardon for but as for me, I knew what I was asking for forgiveness. There were too much to name but the main one was, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you…"
"It's alright, Suzaku. It wasn't your fault. In fact, I was glad Lelouch killed me with his own hands before I kill more innocent lives. No matter it was the Geass or whatsoever, I did it. Come on, stand up." I accepted her outstretched hand and stood, shocked that she accepted what she did and what he did so easily.
"Euphie…" I trailed off before I managed to ask what I wanted to. Why did you forgive him so easily? But she had always been that kind of person, gentle, understanding and considerate.
"It had been such a long time…" She smiled. I wondered if she was answering to my inner question or stating the fact that we had not met for 25 years. So, if she was reading my mind, is this some kind of power we get here? I blinked at her, confused.
"Even you had forgiven him, how could I not? After all, it happened because of my own naivety. Spending so much time watching the living, I had come to realize that the world was not the innocent place I used to think. Plus, I did once, long time ago, loved Lelouch." She told me.
"You can hear what I'm thinking?" I asked abruptly, thoroughly surprised. She giggled at my probably dumb founded face.
"No, it's just that it is quite easy to guess what you are thinking. It's all written on your face. And I did say, I watched over all of you. After so many years of observing, it wasn't hard at all." She chortled. Oh, so it was that. Not some weird brain power.
"Come on, let's go." My princess started to lead me towards a light, into another dimension. Surrounding me was some kind of cosmic world and now where we were heading was a door of light. I saw a butterfly fluttered by and as we near it, I hear birds chirping. Like a little lost puppy, I followed Euphie, dogging her every step behind her.
"Er… How did you know I was, you know, coming here?" I hesitantly asked. She gave me a sigh and looked at me with a half annoyed expression.
"I told you, I was watching you. Every single second and minute as you pushed that sword through your body. Well, not always though." She turned away, hiding a blush. I felt my cheeks heating up as well and did not press the issue further.
"I saw those times as well… When you were in Lelouch's tomb and when you were looking at the video he left…" She whispered softly. A tinge of sadness toned her voice. I felt a little guilty, dropping my head to the floor, blushing further. So, she knew I loved him. And during then, I was confessing to nobody so loudly, thinking that no one would hear because I was alone.
"Actually, I knew from the start. I knew you actually loved someone else. I just didn't think it was my brother." She lightly exclaimed, the corner of her lips lifting upwards into the sweet smile she always wear. It meant everything was alright.
"I'm sorry…" There was nothing else I could think of saying to her. This seemed to be the most appropriate phrase at this moment.
"It's ok. You never said you loved me anyway. I knew what you felt was just loyalty and perhaps familial love." I smiled, grateful for her great understanding.
"Erm… Where are we going?" I asked hesitantly as we passed by fields of grasses, swaying gently in the wind. She paused in her track and turned around, looking at me with an exasperated expression. She huffed at my idiocy, I presume.
"I'm bringing you to where Lelouch is. Don't you want to see him?" I could not help but feeling a little shocked and surprised. After those emotions faded, they left a trail of warmth in my heart which skipped a little when she mentioned his name.
"He's here?" I asked, trying to hide the eagerness tone in my voice but to no avail. My eyes were probably looking really hopeful, puppy-eyes perhaps. She giggled at my childish demeanor. Looking at her, she was no older than that time, maybe a little more mature looking, around 20 or so. How would he look like then?
"He's here alright but…" She paused in her words, thinking deep on how to phrase the words, I presume. She gave me a long, hard look. Was it pity I saw in her eyes?
"What's wrong?" I asked softly, uneasiness creeping up the back of my neck. Euphie bit her lips momentarily before turning and continued walking.
"He sacrificed a lot for that time he went down to the living world, you know… You'll understand when you see him…" We walked on without another word. For some time, we traveled silently. She was deep in her thoughts, rhythmically taking each step, oblivious to the world around. I trailed after her quietly, taking in the scenery as well though worried about what she said. How is he now exactly? What happened in these 25 years in heaven? If she had seen me, would he have seen as well from here?
We passed fields of green and went through a forest. The birds among the trees were chirping away gaily which just increased my anxiousness. After a short trek of 10 minutes through the thick trees, I saw light shining brightly at an open area unlike in the forest where the canopy of leaves filtered the sunlight. I froze when we stood still at the edge looking over the open field.
The field was filled with blooming sunflower.
It was exactly the same as that sunflower field we used to play in as children, along with Nunnally. At that time, we were just small kids who reached up to half the height of the sunflower plants. I was completely mesmerized as the wind blew at the tall plants, swaying them like a slow dance, accompanied by the sweet music of leaves rustling.
"Lelouch? Are you here?" Euphie suddenly called into the field. That completely brought me back to reality. I perked up for a sign, a reply.
"Euphie-oneesama? I'm here!" The voice came from a small, empty spot without plants right in the middle of the field. With a childlike joy, it giggled softly. I wanted to rush forward towards the source but my legs refused to budge. 'Onee-sama'? I did not even realize that I was trembling. Fear made my heart pound loudly all the way to my ears.
"Suzaku?" Euphie softly took my hand and guided me through a little path, into the field of sunflowers and I assumed, ends at the empty spot. All I could do was let her lead me. My mind was numbed, prepared to receive any kind of shock. However, deep down, I knew I could never be prepared enough. I took a deep breath before finally stepping into the clearing with her.
He was lying on a piece of mat placed over the grass, eyes closed, looking so serene, just like that figure, that body that was in his tomb. Chills spread from my fingertips as I remembered how cold that glass encasement had felt under my touch.
"Euphie-oneesama!" He opened his eyes, those amethyst jewels that sparkled ever so brilliantly. I missed that as well. The sleeping body would never open its eyes no matter how much I begged but this was different. They turned to me, registering my presence.
"Onee-sama, who is…" He stood slowly without completing his sentence, those amethyst eyes lost in confusion and conflict. The pang that hit me was as I expected, too much for me even if I was prepared for it.
'He forgot…' Those words rang in my head just like how he had told me to forget him then. I did try to forget but no matter what, I couldn't. My heart just would not let me let go of him. Now, it felt like it had been shattered into pieces.
He stretched out his hand to touch my cheek, the warmth spreading from the moment our skin met. His face was somber. Me, I was just painfully standing there, unmoving. The damage was like acid, slowly eating away my heart but it still pounded strongly. I wonder why it is so. Was it because I still held onto to that tiny hope even when reality was right in front of me? Was I trying to escape from reality?
I watched him inched closer and closer emotionlessly, eyes searching for clues on who I might be. We stared into each other eyes, both filled with unknown yearning and longing. Then, with a blink, the confused look disappeared, replaced with a shy smile. Inching closer, he closed his eyes. Just by instinct, we eliminated that little gap between us. His lips were just as warm and soft as far as I could remember. When we pulled apart, without realizing it, tears were running down both our faces. I didn't know what he was crying for. Joy? Pain? Pity? All I knew I was crying because fate just had to play with us. Even after death, we were not meant to be together. Was it that?
Then, as bright as the sun, his tear-stained face broke into a smile I would never forget. The same smile I saw when I was 10, in the field of sunflowers, the smile that was only for me. The brightness of his smile shone through the storm in my heart, lighting that tiny sparkle of hope again. Realization was clear in his eyes. This time, I will not be disappointed. His pale fingers stroke my cheeks, wiping of the tears as I did the same to his. Kissing me passionately again, he held on to me tightly that I could feel him, flesh and bones or whatever our body was made up from in this new world, within my embrace. I held on strongly as well, vowing never to let go again. We will be together forever, from now on.
"Suzaku… I love you…"
"I love you too, Lelouch…"
XD It was angst-filled until the final part. Hahaha… Can't help it. When I'm stressed up, I tend to turn into a sadist. XP But it's a happy ending for them at least. I know Lelouch and Suzaku would not probably end up in Heaven (I'm not even sure if there one but I want to believe) but I want them to be there so in my story and in my mind, they do! No arguments for that! So there will be no more continuation for this series of one shots. I might be writing a completely different story of Code Geass when I have the time so keep looking!
Btw, the title is slight inspired by a game. Try guessing? It's quite obvious actually.
For now, I would like my reviews, please! I love you too, Suzaku! Happy birthday again! *Lelouch shooting icy glares* I love you as well, Lelouch! XD