Disclaimer: We don't own Star Trek – but we do own the Hippopheralcus and her crew. you wouldn't want them, anyway.

Notes: So Hubby and I finally got Meagra to join the Star Trek world – and then we end up doing this to it. Sorry, our bad. Oh, and Salazar Slitherin was her invention as well, so blame her!

Oh, and we have a lot of external inspiration in this story, see if you can spot them. In fact, list them for us, we'll award points!

Love, Diabolical Pink Bunny.

Chapter 1 - Down the rabbit hole

The star ship Hippopheralcus lurched as unknown forces tried to tear it apart. To Alana Ilbrux' right the bridge engineering consol exploded in a shower of sparks.

"Xenedra!" she barked. She had spent quite a bit of time practising that: projecting her voice along with a slight mental push.

Behind her she could hear the Ocampa woman scurrying around. When she finally answered she sounded confused – and pissed. "It's not my infinity drive!" she yelled. Then Alana heard the turbo-lift doors slide open and she suspected Xenedra had dashed off to main engineering to go yell at someone.

"Ops!" Alana, Captain of the small star ship called without even turning her head. The big Klingon lieutenant at the Operations Station actually beat at the controls. Then, in that big, rumbling voice of his answered:

"The ship is being bombarded by neutrinos. It has created a stable field and is pulling us in."

"Lieutenant Momoa, reverse engines," she commanded.

In front of the large view screen, seated at his station, the laid-back young pilot's hands flew over his console. Then he shook his head and his dreadlocks flew in wide circles around his head. "Sorry Captain, we've lost both the infinity drive and the warp engines. Looks like we're going in, alaka'i!"

Tapping her com-badge, Alana contacted main engineering. "Lieutenant Phonixia..."

Before she could proceed the strained voice of her chief engineer came back to her over the open line. "Captain, both warp-cores are off-line and the warp engines are blown! The best I can give you is impulse!"

"That will have to do," Alana muttered. "Momoa, full impulse!"

She could actually feel the strain on the ship as Lieutenant Momoa wrestled to turn the ship around. On the view screen the outside view was displayed: blue and white bands of swirling energy pulled at the ship.

Captain, the thip can't take much more of thith, the mental voice of her security officer filled her mind. Commander Salazar Slitherin was an excellent officer, but even at his length he still had trouble with that lisp of his. Usually he tried to either shoot something or shoot at it to make himself feel better, but she could hear the fury in his voice at being unable to shoot at the swirling energy attempting to tear the ship apart.

Then, suddenly, they were out of it.

"Report!" she told everyone. The first to react was her first officer, Commander Rhemus Shah'dy. The tall Romulan leaned over and read the ships reports coming in.

"We have several casualties heading for the infirmary and both the warp engines as well as the infinity drive are off line." Then he sighed. "And there is another report from Ensign T'val about Doctor Charin."

Alana sighed. The young Vulcan and the Orion doctor were constantly in disagreement about the latter's attire. Personally Alana could not see the problem. But then again, Betazoid marriages were done in the nude.

"What is it this time?" she asked her proper Romulan officer.

"It would appear that last jolt caused Doctor Charin's uniform – eh – to become undone. Apparently her attributes spilled over," he delicately stated. She frowned at him.

"Excuse me?"

"The most nani part of her spilled out of her top, alaka'i," Momoa translated. Oh, her breasts had spilled out, Alana realised. Well, that would irritate the Vulcan. And probably her Romulan lover as well, she mused. She looked over at Rhemus. He was scowling. When everything has settled, he would probably once more try and impress upon the voluptuous young woman the importance of a neat uniform: one that doesn't look as if she had been poured into it.

"Momoa, where are we?" she asked, frowning. Right now she had more on her mind than the Orion girl's sense of dress.

"Well, alaka'i, it seems we're only seven thousand kilometers away from the Denorios Belt," the pilot replied. He seemed edgy – as evident by the fact that he wasn't slumped all the way down in his seat.

"The Denorios Belt has been known to periodically produce neutrino disturbances, Captain," Dorfl helpfully supplied from Ops. "But never anything near what we have just experienced."

Captain, I'm picking up thomething on the thtarboard thenthorth, Commander Slitherin drew everyone's attention.

"Put it on the display," she said – needlessly. Already the view had changed to include a small dark dot in the centre of the screen. "Magnify," she added and the screen shifted. Now there seemed to be a large black construction etched against the black space filling the screen. She frowned. "Are you sure we're at the Denorios Belt?" she demanded.

"Ae," Lieutenant Momoa assured her. "Most definitely."

"Lieutenant Momoa is correct, Captain," Dorfl agreed. "That structure seems to be parked just off the edge of the Belt."

"Interesting," Rhemus murmured. Alana shot him a look. When her lover started volunteering information, she usually could tell they were in trouble.

"You know, alaka'i," Momoa grinned as he turned around in his seat to look at her. "I've been to this part of space before, and I don't remember there being a space station. But that was one pupule ride! Let's do it again!"

Alana cocked her head slightly to one side and considered her pilot. Sometimes she really wondered how he managed to slip past the psychiatric screening at the Academy. Well, his Admiral father probably helped, but still... Yet even as she thought it, she could feel a half-smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. With an effort she turned her attention away from the handsome, engaging young man with the eyes that always seemed to smile.

"Have they spotted us?" she asked Commander Slitherin.

It would not appear that they have, he answered, avoiding all possible esses in that sentence.

Just then a slight beep interrupted the pregnant silence on the bridge. "It would appear they have now," Dorfl reported. He tapped a control and the sound of a nasal voice filled the bridge. There was something about the voice that tried to sound defiant, but ended up being whiny.

Unidentified vessel, this is the Bajoran space station Deep Space Nine. Identify yourself!

"Pushy little brat," Dorfl grumbled. Alana agreed. Then she frowned.

"Why do we only have audio?" she asked.

"Our communications array seems to be damaged," Dorfl rumbled. "This is the best I can do."

She nodded and knew Dorfl would open the line. "This is Captain Alana Ilbrux of the Federation star ship Hippopheralcus. I am not aware of any space stations in this region called Deep Space Nine. Who am I speaking to?" she asked quizzically.

Rhemus leaned over towards her. "There is a Cardassian space station in orbit around Bajor called Terok Nor," he whispered. "According to the schematics, that is she." She nodded.

This is Lieutenant Nog, the voice whined. We have no record of a Federation star ship Hippopheralcus.

Alana frowned. "The Hippopheralcus has been in commission for over nine years now," she battled with the Lieutenant Nog.

Capatin, I'm quite sure Starfleet ships aren't black, Nog parried and she had the urge to go smack him.

"Lieutenant Nog," she said with great self-control. "Is one of your superiors around that I can talk to them?"

This is Colonel Kira Nerys, a new, female voice interrupted the whiny one. She sounded much more commanding than the kid. She also sounded slightly pissed.

"Colonel," Alana responded, looking at her commander and mouthing 'colonel?' at him. He merely shrugged. "We seemed to have been caught in a neutrino surge. Can you perhaps help us understand where we are," she diplomatically asked. Just then the turbo-lift doors slid open and Xenedra tumbled in.

"Alana, we have a problem," the civilian scientist burst out. Then she stopped as the female on board Deep Space Nine spoke once more.

You are in the Alpha quadrant near Bajor.

Xenedra frowned. "Who's the bitchy woman?" she asked. Alana shook her head slightly. Didn't Xenedra realise the woman could hear her?

Excuse me? the woman retorted. Oh dear, it was going to be one of those days, Alana sighed.