A/N: After a very long hiatus, I'm back. Sort of. During the last 12 months I got pregnant, got severely sick putting me pretty much on bedrest the entire 9 months, suffered from preeclampsia towards the end, and gave birth to a healthy little girl. She is now 2 months old, and I'm finally getting back to normal. However, since it's summertime I have all five of my kids home and driving me crazy. I'm trying to get back into writing regularly but I can't promise there will be steady updates on any of my stories. I will do my best to update when I can. My family will always come first, but I am sincere when I say I will finish all my WIP fics and quite possibly add on to a few of my oneshots.
Thank you sister_liz for always taking the time to edit my stories. You are such a good friend, and I don't know what I'd do without you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters involved. No copyright infringement intended.
Riding up the elevator to the hotel suite for the party, I began to think of Tanya. I don't know why the thought of her popped into my head. Maybe it was because the blonde girls I was about to meet with reminded me of her –preppy, beautiful, rich, debutant types. Unfortunately, the thought of Tanya only brought up the memories of Maggie. I'd been fighting for so long to forget about both of them, yet it seemed like the more I tried to fight the memories with alcohol and meaningless sex, the more the memories plagued me.
I pushed the thoughts aside and knocked on the door of the hotel room. It took at least a minute for someone to finally come and open the door. I was almost on the verge of leaving just as the door swung open. A girl with dark, short hair and sparkling blue eyes greeted me and let me in. The sight I came upon was not what I was expecting. One girl was in the corner crying her eyes out while two other girls did their best to console her, another girl was puking into the sink of the bar, two other girls were dancing on the balcony of the suite with nothing but their panties on, one girl was passed out on the couch. It was like a college nightmare. This wasn't much of a party; at least none I'd ever been to.
"I can't believe you actually came," the girl who invited me earlier asked walking out of the bathroom and looking like she'd just been puking herself. "It's Edmond, right?"
"Edward," I corrected.
"Oh right," she said with a giggle. She placed her hands on my shoulders and planted a simple kiss on my lips. There was no doubting she'd been puking recently. I almost lost it right then and there after she kissed me. "Can I call you Eddie?"
"No," I said, gently pushing her away. "Look, maybe this was a bad idea. I think I should leave." I started to walk back towards the door and this girl stopped me by pushing the door shut.
"You can't leave yet. You have to dance with me. I need a picture of myself with some other guy to make my ex-boyfriend jealous," she insisted. "It doesn't have to mean anything. You can leave in the morning with no questions asked."
Yep, this was a bad idea. "Maybe you should find someone else. I have to go." I shoved the door open and quickly walked towards the elevator. I usually didn't leave a party where girls were willing to have a quick fuck and then be forgotten, but this place was a little too weird for me.
I got in my beat up, old truck and headed home filled even more with sexual frustration. The only good thing was most likely Alice wasn't going to be at the house tonight since her cousin was visiting. At least I wouldn't have to deal with her.
I walked through the front door and saw Emmett sitting on the couch watching TV in nothing but his underwear. Jasper wasn't around so I figured he was staying the night with Alice. They couldn't even go one night not being with each other.
"You're back early," Emmett pointed out.
"Let's just say those girls were a little freaky," I said, plopping down on the couch and stretching my legs out onto the dented and scraped up coffee table. "They weren't worth my time. I should have just stayed here."
"Yeah, well your comment earlier got me in trouble with Rose," Emmett said in a spiteful tone. "I was finally getting somewhere with her, then you had to pull shit like that and now I'm back to square one."
"Why do you keep trying? Is she really worth all the trouble? Girls who play with your emotions like Rose does are not worth it."
"Just because you gave up on love doesn't mean the rest of us have to. Some of us actually think love is worth fighting for," Emmett spouted.
I glared over at him and flared my nostrils. "Thanks, Emmett," I said hurt by what he said. I stood and headed for my room, unwilling to live with any more memories.
"Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."
"Sure you didn't," I yelled sarcastically down the hallway. I went into my room and slammed the door. Emmett thought he knew so much about me, but he really had no clue. He was gone long before anything happened with Maggie and he never knew much about Tanya. I never told him anything either. He had assumptions about what really happened before I came to Hawaii, which most likely were far from the truth. I just chose not to correct him. I would rather him assume things than relive the memories over again by telling him.
Inside my room, I took my pet boa constrictor out of his tank and let him wrap himself around my arm while I lay on my bed and stared at my ceiling. I had to get the memories of Tanya and Maggie out of my head. I couldn't deal with those memories again. After a while, I fell asleep with my snake still roaming around my room freely. Normally I wouldn't let him do that, but I fell asleep before I put him back in his tank.
Early in the morning, I heard a loud squeal, which woke me up. I took a look around my room trying to make sense of what was going on.
"Edward," Emmett yelled down the hall probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Get this thing out of my room."
I hopped out of bed knowing exactly what was wrong. My snake had escaped my room and now was terrorizing Emmett. I ran down the hall and burst Emmett's door open. Inside, Emmett was standing on his bed with a bat in hand ready to swing. His eyes were focused down on my snake curled up in a ball on his floor.
"I swear to God, if you don't keep that thing locked in its cage I'm going to kill it," he warned. I rolled my eyes and quickly scooped Jake up in my hands. He was just a small little snake, but Emmett acted like he was a monster.
"You're such a baby," I groaned, walking out of his room and back to mine. I placed Jake back in his tank and went back to bed for a couple more hours.
To get back at me, Emmett thought it necessary to wake me up by squirting me with ice cold water. I chased after him through the house and even out on the beach, calling him every name in the book while he just laughed and taunted me.
"Fucker, give me the damn bottle," I shouted.
"Nope, I was told to make sure you don't make a move on Bella while she spends the day with us. I think a cold shower is necessary," he explained.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, stopping in my chase to make sense of what he was saying.
"Alice asked Jasper and I to keep an eye on you around Bella," he explained stopping and lowering the spray bottle to his side.
I laughed at this ridiculous plan. "If Alice is so worried about me around Bella why did she think it was such a good idea for her to ride along with us all day long?" The irony of this seemed to stump him for a moment.
"I guess she thinks if Jasper and I are around we can keep you in line," he theorized. "You know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer?"
"So now I'm an enemy?" I laughed and shook my head at his remark of me being an enemy now. "And why the fuck does Alice think she needs to run everyone's lives? Isn't Bella an adult? Can't she make her own decisions?" I wondered.
"Alice said she's kind of fragile right now. She wouldn't elaborate why, but she just doesn't think it would be a very good idea for you to try your typical tricks with her."
"I already told Alice I wouldn't," I explained. "And I don't have typical tricks. I'm not going to do anything."
"Yeah, well, I'm just doing as I'm told," he excused.
"Whatever," I grumbled turning to walk back to the house. Emmett walked in step with me, and as soon as I knew I had my moment, I lunged towards him, grabbing the squirt bottle out of his hand and squirting him just like he did to me. He whined and begged me to stop, but I didn't until the water was completely gone.
"You're such an ass," he whined.
"Looks who's talking? Who squirted first?"
"Whose snake curled up in my bedroom?" he countered.
"Jake won't hurt you," I argued.
"Yeah right," he exclaimed dramatically. "That thing has it out for me and you know it. I'm waiting for the day I wake up with it wrapped around my neck squeezing the life out of me."
I rolled my eyes and threw the empty bottle onto the porch. "He's just a baby. And, even if he could squeeze the life out of you, I don't think you would wake up," I teased.
After a few more taunts from both of us towards each other, we both got ready for the day and met Jasper down on the dock. He had Bella already sitting on the boat laughing at his jokes.
"Where've you two been?" he asked as we hopped onto the boat.
"I was giving Edward a cold shower," Emmett joked.
"And I was scaring Emmett with my snake," I said with a smirk on my face.
Both Jasper and Bella gave us a strange look. "I don't think I want to know," Jasper said focusing on checking over the boat before our customers showed up. Emmett and I laughed it off and went about our routine of doing our checks and getting prepared for the day.
"So, we have a fairly easy schedule today. There's a family of four coming out and a couple on their honeymoon. We should be done within a couple hours," Emmett informed us.
"Sounds good," I said. "We're all set."
I sat down on the edge of the boat and waited for our customers to show up. I watched as Emmett and Jasper chatted up Bella on the other side of the boat while she smiled and giggled at what they said. I felt like the odd one out.
I picked at the dry skin against my fingernails and pretended like I didn't care what they were doing or saying. I was in my own little world.
After about ten minutes I saw the family of four walking down to the dock and what I thought might be the newlywed couple just getting out of a car at the road. At least these customers were punctual. There had been many times we've had to wait around for people to show up. I hopped off the edge of the boat and walked over to greet the customers and help them into the boat. Jasper and Emmett weren't paying attention at all and didn't even notice the people walking over to us. I smacked Jasper on the back of the head, making him swing his arm wildly at me, just barely missing smacking me in the face.
"What the fuck was that for?" he shouted.
"We have customers. Or did both of you forget we have a job to do?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
Jasper looked around my shoulder and noticed the family standing at the edge of the dock watching us with nervous expressions. Jasper and Emmett instantly put on their fake smiles and followed me out of the boat to greet the people and explain what we would be doing.
Emmett introduced each one of us and told all of them what our position on the boat was, then had them fill out the paperwork and helped them into life jackets and onto the boat. The two little kids from the family didn't look much older than thirteen or fourteen. The boy looked a little overconfident with his cocky smile and permanent raised eyebrow. The girl looked a little shy and withdrawn. She barely talked at all and kept her eyes focused on the floor. The parents looked and acted like rich people –better than everyone else, have money to spare and don't care whether they look like complete idiots wearing diamond earrings and a Rolex watch while parasailing. We always say in the confirmation email not to bring anything along worth any value because it is possible it will get lost. Obviously these people didn't care.
We headed out on the water doing our normal tour spots along the coastline. The newlywed couple didn't seem to care about the sightseeing portion of this excursion. Newlyweds always made me nauseous. They could never keep their hands off of each other and spent most of the time making out instead of paying attention. I can't believe I actually considered going through with that monstrosity of getting married. Though, if things had been different, to this day, I still would have gone through with it. But, things changed, things happened, and there's no going back. I'm done with that portion of my life and I don't ever plan to face it again.
After finding the right wind, we stopped and it was my turn to give instruction on the launch up. The young boy went up first. I had a feeling he would. He looked like a spoiled brat who always had to be first. Typical rich kid behavior. After he went, the parents went up together. I noticed the boy making loud comments and turned around to see what was going on. I couldn't help but laugh seeing this little kid trying to hit on Bella. She looked mortified at what was going on. I didn't blame her. Did he actually think just because he's a stupid rich kid she'd give a shit about him?
I glanced towards Emmett who had an amused look on his face. I tilted my head motioning for him to help her. Emmett hopped up and sat down next to Bella wrapping his arm around her shoulders to give the kid the hint. Bella leaned into Emmett and placed a simple kiss on his cheek. I don't know why but watching her kiss his cheek made my stomach tighten. Maybe it was just her thing to kiss guys on the cheek but for some reason seeing her kiss someone else made upset. I turned away and kept my eye on the people up in the sky, internally chastising myself for even caring what that fucking kiss on the cheek was about. I didn't care. I didn't want to care. I forced myself not to look back at them anymore.
After I brought the parents in from their fly, it was the shy girl's turn. She looked terrified and I was almost tempted to have her wait, but her parents insisted she face her fears and go up. While I was preparing the parachute and checking the straps for the girl to go up, I noticed Bella had come to the back of the boat and sat down on the edge of the seat.
"Did you need to get away from your little admirer?" I asked smirking at her.
She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I'm so glad Emmett came over and helped me out. That boy was getting on my nerves," she said. I chuckled under my breath and continued my work. I motioned for the girl to come over and get strapped in to the harness. She slowly walked over and let me strap her in. I talked to her about what it would be just to calm her nerves a little. In the corner of my eye I could see Bella watching me intently and biting her lip like she was worried about something or like she wanted to say something. At first I tried to ignore her, but it was getting to me. If she wanted to say something, I wanted her to just fucking spit it out. I wasn't about to try and read her mind. I glanced deliberately in her direction as I continued to tighten the straps around the girl.
"What?" I asked with a little chuckle to my words.
"I uh… I'm just curious how you know how to do all this. You just seem so sure of yourself and you know exactly what to do. You aren't even looking at what you're doing yet you're still able to do it," she pointed out.
I furrowed my brow and raised a corner of my lip at her observation. Ignoring the comment for a moment, I focused my attention back on the girl and looked her directly in the eyes. "Are you ready?" I asked. She nervously nodded her head and held onto the straps holding her in. I motioned to Jasper, who started up the boat. The girl's parents shouted out a few words of encouragement right as I let her go and she soared up into the sky.
When the girl was on her way, I turned back to Bella to answer her question. "It's not hard once you know what you're doing. Certain things go in certain spots, and if they don't, things won't work correctly. It's like sex. Once you figure out where everything goes, you don't tend to forget and can do it without thinking or seeing. Although, you might not know that's possible yet." Her face turned bright red at what I said and she even choked a little. I smirked and turned back to the girl in the air.
"I know what you're thinking," she abruptly said. I turned back towards her with a puzzled look on my face. "You think I'm some innocent girl who doesn't know anything about sex, but you're wrong."
I smirked and raised an eyebrow at her. "Really? Enlighten me then. How much do you know? Because I'm still holding on to the fact that you're innocent and probably still very much a virgin."
"And what gives you that impression?"
"The innocent little kiss you gave me on the cheek last night was my first clue. You just have that aura of sweet innocence about you."
"Sorry about that. I was kind of buzzed from the alcohol, and of course, still getting used to the time change," she apologized.
"And there's my second clue. I'd hate to see what you might do if you were more than just buzzed. You might actually kiss someone on the lips," I teased with a gasp to my words and wide eyes.
Her eyes narrowed and her lips tightened to a straight line. "I enjoy sex more when I'm sober. God forbid I wake up after having the greatest sex ever and I can't remember it. I have a feeling that's how most of your mornings are," she contradicted.
I laughed and shook my head at her ridiculousness. "Right," I agreed sarcastically.
"Well how many sexual experiences do you actually remember? Or are there too many to even count anymore?" she asked confidently.
"Do you believe everything Alice tells you?" I questioned, realizing she got her assumptions of me from Alice and was testing me.
"Should I have reason to not believe her?" she argued.
Feeling angry at what she was assuming, I wanted to go off on her and tell her it was none of her business what I did or who I did it with. "Alice doesn't know a fucking thing about my life and she never will. She's a nosy bitch who doesn't know how to mind her own business."
"I'll take that as a no," she said smiling proudly at herself.
Just as I was about to start shouting at her for sticking her nose in places where it didn't belong just like Alice always did, Emmett came over and placed his hand on my shoulder. "When you two are done comparing sexual experiences you might want to start bringing in the girl who's flying up in the air at the moment," he reminded.
"Shit!" I mumbled, quickly starting to reel the lines in. I focused on getting the girl back on the boat safely and tried to forget about the conversation Bella and I were having. I needed to do my job and not get distracted. When the girl was back on the boat I could tell she was feeling a little queasy. I quickly called for Emmett to get a motion sickness bag and some water for her. I sat her down on the seat and waited for Emmett. Her parents hovered around her and started questioning what I did to her. They didn't seem to accept the fact that she just had a touch of motion sickness. They were sure I'd done something wrong. Seconds before Emmett came with a bag and a water bottle the girl leaned forward and puked all over the boat and my feet. Everyone took a step back and covered their mouths. The poor girl started crying and apologizing for puking on me. I tried to assure her it was fine. It wasn't the first time I'd been puked on, and I was sure it wouldn't be the last either. After cleaning up the puke off the boat, I remained focused on what I was supposed to be doing and put the whole conversation Bella and I were having behind me. It wasn't a big deal anyway. She was just a stupid girl who would be leaving in a few weeks. I didn't care what she thought about me. I never had for anyone else, and she was no different.
After everyone had gone up in the air for the day and we were heading back towards land, I sat down on the seat and leaned my head back against the side of the boat, closing my eyes and enjoying the breeze. I just wanted this day to be over with. I wanted to go home and take a very long shower to wash the stench of puke off of me.
After a few minutes, I felt the warmth of someone sitting next to me. I sat up and opened my eyes to find Bella had scooted across the seat.
"I'm sorry about earlier," she apologized looking sincerely guilty for what happened. "I shouldn't have been distracting you while you were supposed to be working. I feel really bad for both you and that girl."
"Don't worry about it," I assured resting my head back again.
"It's just… Alice told me some stuff about you, and I wanted to find out for myself how much of it was true. I'm trying to figure you out, and you're a hard person to read."
"I don't let many people know me. It causes problems when people know too much."
"I'd just kind of like to know a little about you before I go on this cliff diving excursion," she reminded covertly. I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at her. I had actually forgotten about the cliff diving thing until just now. "You are still going to take me, right?"
"Well, it depends."
"Do you trust me?"
"Not completely," she admitted truthfully while biting her bottom lip.
"Good, you shouldn't."
"That doesn't mean I don't want to try the cliff diving thing," she assured.
"Did Alice tell you to stay away from me?"
She bit her lip again and nodded her head to answer my question.
I chuckled and rested my head back again. "She told me the same thing about you," I revealed.
"Are you going to listen to her?" she wondered.
I smirked and turned my head towards her. "I never have. Are you?" I asked.
"No," she answered trying hard not to crack a smile.
"Then I guess we're going cliff diving." Her face lit up with a bright smile after I agreed to take her cliff diving. I just wondered if her babysitters would let her go.
Once we docked and helped the customers out of the boat, I hopped out and motioned for Bella to follow me. "Have fun," I called out before walking away.
"Where are you going?" Jasper asked. Damn! I thought to myself, stopping in my tracks and turning around. "I think since I was the one puked on I shouldn't be responsible for cleaning the boat," I theorized.
"Bullshit!" Emmett shouted. "I've been puked on before and I still had to clean the boat."
"Give me a break, guys. Can I at least shower?" I asked. Bella stood to the side, silently watching our exchange.
"Whatever, Asshole," Emmett whined. "If you're going to be a baby about it, then just go."
I rolled my eyes and grumbled hopping back on the boat to help them clean. It really didn't take a long time for us to clean the boat, but it was just a pain to do. When we were about finished, I finally said I had done my share and was going to go take a shower. Neither of them said anything this time. Bella started to follow me along the deck until Jasper yelled out at her.
"Bella, where are you going?"
"Edward is taking me cliff diving," she answered. I stopped a few feet away from her to wait. I wondered if she would listen to them telling her not to go.
"I don't know if that would be such a good idea," Jasper said nervously. "Alice asked us to keep an eye on you. She won't be happy if she knows you took off."
"Yeah Bella, I think you should probably stay with us," Emmett added agreeing with what Jasper said.
Bella shrugged her shoulders and sort of threw her hands up in the air. "I'm not that concerned whether Alice is happy or not. She can't exactly tell me not to go and neither can either of you. I'll see you guys later."
She ran the few feet to catch up with me and all I could do was stare at her with a gaping mouth. She had just gone against what Alice wanted without even a thought of concern. Very rarely did someone go against what Alice wanted.
"Are we going?" Bella asked looking up at me with a concerned expression.
"Yeah, I just need to change first."
We walked up the boardwalk and the short distance to my house.
"Um… Just stay here and I'll be right back," I suggested motioning for her to sit on the porch and wait for me. She nodded her head and sat down on the step while I ran inside to change. I could have offered to let her come inside, but I'd never invited someone into my home, and I wasn't about to now even if she was Alice's cousin.
I quickly changed into a pair of swimming trunks and a plain white t-shirt and grabbed a few things I needed for the jump. I still doubted whether or not she'd actually go through with it, but I still wanted to be prepared just in case. Maybe she'd surprise me and actually jump.
I grabbed my wallet and keys and met her back outside. "Ready?" I asked.
"Yeah," she agreed jumping to her feet and following me out to my truck. She got in next to me, shutting her door and putting on her seatbelt. I glanced over at her and for the first time that day noticed she had a pair of jeans and a long sleeve thin shirt on.
"You do have a bathing suit on under your clothes, right?" I asked before starting the truck.
"Of course. Why?"
"I'm just making sure. It might be kind of uncomfortable to jump wearing what you are." She looked down at herself, soothing her hands across her legs.
"I'm not very comfortable wearing revealing clothing all the time like some women are," she admitted. "I feel very out of place when wearing bathing suits in public."
I started up the truck and started to pull out of the driveway. "You do realize it is summertime and you're in Hawaii, right?" I asked sarcastically, even chuckling a little. "I think you're more out of place dressed the way you are now."
She ducked her head and almost looked embarrassed. "You might be right." I glanced back and forth between her and the road trying to figure out what exactly it was I said that made her look like she was about to cry.
I decided to keep my mouth shut after that. I didn't want to make her even more upset. The last thing I needed was a crying girl on my hands. I don't deal with crying girls.
I pulled onto the small, out of the way road which led into the trees and parked at the end. Bella sat there looking around and trying to make sense of what we were doing.
"Let's go," I ordered. I opened my door and grabbed the plastic bag from behind my seat. Bella followed suit and got out right behind me.
"What is this place?" she asked.
"It's where your adventure begins," I replied. "See the top on that hill?" I pointed towards the cliff among the trees. "That's where we're going. I hope you don't mind hiking a ways."
"No, I'm fine with whatever." She walked over to me and we began to walk instep through the trees until we reached the narrow trail I'd carved out to get up to the cliff. While we hiked I decided to ask her a few questions, just to start up a conversation and gage how serious she was about jumping. I still had my doubts she'd do it.
"You're in college, right?"
"Uh huh," she answered breathlessly.
"How long have you been in school?"
"I just finished my third year, but it was sort of cut short because of some personal matters," she answered.
"What are you going to school for?"
"I don't know yet."
"You don't know?" I asked, letting out a small chuckle. "Then why go?"
"School is really important to me. No one in my family has ever graduated from college. I want to finish and say I did something worthwhile. I just don't know what it is yet. The last few years have been busy, and I haven't had a lot of time to actually think about what I want to do," she explained.
"Don't you need to decide soon?" I asked.
"Yeah, but that's part of what this trip was supposed to be about. I'm supposed to clear my head and let go of the past so I can figure out what I want to do."
Her reveal made me curious. I remembered Emmett mentioning how Alice had said Bella was fragile at the moment, and now with what Bella said, I really wondered what had happened. Although, I doubted she'd tell me anything personal if I asked, so I didn't.
"What is it you're interested in?"
She giggled before answering. "I don't know."
I hummed in response, not really knowing any other way to respond. I couldn't imagine going to school just to go to school.
"Did you ever go to college?" she asked.
"Yeah, for a while," I answered. "That's actually where I met Emmett. We were frat brothers and became good friends."
"What school did you go to?"
I laughed and turned my head away. "You might actually be surprised to know I went to Harvard."
"You went to Harvard?" she asked in a shocked tone.
"Did you graduate?"
"No," I answered.
"I just didn't," I replied in an irritable tone. "School wasn't that important to me. I only went because I was forced. I didn't have any great ambitions of being something important so I left. That's when I came here."
"What made you decide to come to Hawaii of all places?"
"It was the farthest place away from where I came from," I explained. She stared at me with a curious look just like I had with her. I could have explained more of what made me leave but I didn't. I didn't talk about it with anyone, and I wasn't about to tell someone who could very well tell the one person I couldn't stand, who would probably use it against me to make me look like even more of a jerk than I already knew I was. I didn't need that.
"It kind of sounds like you were running away from something," she theorized.
"Maybe I was," I answered vaguely. "Either way, I'm better off now."
She nodded her head and bit her lip. I was sure she was fighting the urge to ask more, but I think she got the hint I wasn't going to indulge in more of an explanation.
"You have done this before, right? The cliff diving, I mean. Is it safe?" she wondered.
"Yeah, it'll be fine. If you even jump at all," I teased.
"Do you think I'm not going to?" she asked sounding almost hurt by the assumption.
"I have my doubts," I admitted. "You just don't seem like the adventurous type, and it's a pretty high jump."
"I told you, I want this vacation to be all about facing my fears and living life to the fullest. I'm determined to try everything," she assured.
"Alright," I accepted still having my doubts. We continued our trek and made it to the clearing on top of the hill in the late afternoon. The wind was just beginning to pick up a little and the tide was coming in, making it a perfect time to jump. The setting sun was glistening on the water below us sending sparks of light all around us. This was my favorite time of the day. There was always this strange calm that came over everything at this time every day.
"Wow!" she expressed with a gasp as she walked to the edge and looked out at the horizon. "It's beautiful up here. How did you find this place?"
I walked over the edge and looked out at the water with her. "I used to go on a lot of hikes, and I just happened to come across it one day. This has kind of become my hiding spot in a way. If I ever want to be alone, which is quite often, this is where I come."
"No one else ever comes up here?" she wondered, turning towards me.
"Not that I've ever seen. I brought Jasper and Emmett up here once, but they didn't seem that impressed. They didn't jump either," I revealed with a chuckle.
"What is that over there?" she asked, pointing out towards the water far in the distance. I followed her gaze to the little specks in the water.
"It looks like surfers," I answered.
"Surfers?" she asked with an intrigued voice. "That's an adventure I'd like to try."
"You want to try surfing now?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah. Why not? It looks like fun," she admitted. "Do you surf?"
"I know how. It's not something I do all the time, though."
"Would you be willing to teach me how?" she asked nervously.
"Seriously?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You don't have to," she quickly excused. "I don't want to get on your nerves or make you think I'm taking advantage of free lessons. I'm sure I can find someone in the city I can pay to give me lessons."
"I don't mind," I offered almost incoherently. I didn't quite understand why I kept giving in to her requests. It was almost like she had some sort or weird power over me. I would probably do anything she asked of me.
"Really?" she questioned excitedly.
"Yeah, it's not a problem, but it'll have to work around my schedule. Usually first thing in the morning is the best time to surf," I explained.
"We can meet in the morning if you're free," she suggested.
"Sure," I agreed. I'm not sure why I agreed to give her surfing lessons when I wasn't that great at it, but I hated the idea of her overpaying some high school kid who probably had the IQ of a rat. I could at least give her the basics. "But first, you need to jump." I smirked and waited for her to make her decision. She leaned forward and looked down at the water below us. She took a deep breath and made a small whimpering sound.
"Are you sure it's safe?" she asked again.
"Yeah," I answered again.
"What if I hit the rocks?" she worried.
"That's simple. Don't jump near the rocks," I answered sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and narrowed her eyes at me. I couldn't help but laugh.
She leaned forward again and looked down contemplating her decision. "I could always do this," I said in a quick voice while grabbing her around the waist and playfully shoving her towards the edge. Her feet dragged across the ground and she screamed, grabbing onto my arms and digging her fingernails into my forearms with her death grip. I stopped inches from the edge and pulled her back against me, laughing at her reaction.
"You jerk!" she exclaimed hitting me rather hard on the arm. "I can't believe you just did that. I was scared to death."
I laughed even more at the fearful expression across her face. "I can't believe you actually called me a jerk. I haven't been called a jerk since high school."
"Oh really, then what do people call you when you do stupid stuff like try to shove someone off a cliff?"
"First of all, I wasn't going to shove you off the cliff. I was only playing around. And second, most of the time I'm either called a fucker, jackass, a dick, a son of a bitch, and any other degrading vulgar thing Jasper and Emmett can come up with."
"Well, I just see you as a jerk who really doesn't know what an appropriate joke is. I didn't find what you did funny at all," she reprimanded with her hands on her hips. I laughed again at her innocent yet angry expression, before offering her my hand. "Come on." Her eyes looked down at my opened hand in front of her before they rose to mine. In a moment of insecurity and fear, she slowly slipped her hand into mine. I'm positive she thought I was going to make her jump with me, but instead I started walking down the hill.
"Where are we going?" she asked, confused about where I was taking her.
"I'm going to take you to a lower level and see if that might be easier for you to jump from," I explained. She didn't argue or seem to mind going lower so I continued to lead her down. The next place I took her was only about twenty feet from the water and an easy dive. If she couldn't do this jump, there's no way she could do the other.
Once again, she looked down at the water from the edge of the cliff and nervously chewed on her bottom lip. "What do you think?" I asked.
"I think I can do this," she nervously agreed.
"Alright." I began to take my shoes and shirt off, getting ready for the dive. I noticed her eyes lingering on my stomach and chest until she realized I had caught her. She quickly ducked her head and blushed. I stuffed my shoes and shirt, as well as my keys and wallet, in the large Ziploc bag and held it out towards Bella.
"What's this for?" she questioned, hesitantly taking the bag from me.
"Unless you plan to jump with all your clothes on, or climb all the way back up here after you jump, we jump with the bag and our stuff shoved inside," I explained. She slowly started to remove her shoes then her shorts and finally her shirt. Underneath she had on a black two-piece bathing suit with a hibiscus flower print. Like she did when she went parasailing, she covered her body up with her arms and hands as best she could. She was definitely very modest and insecure about her body, which surprised me since she was actually pretty hot. I couldn't help sneaking a few peeks while she undressed.
"Where did you come up with the idea of using these oversized Ziploc bags for this? And where do you even get these?" she asked holding the bag out in front of her and looking at it more closely.
I laughed and took the bag from her to close it and get ready for the jump. "I actually get them from Alice. She works at the hospital and these bags are what they give patients to put their belongings in. One day she had her clothes in one when she came over to the house to stay with Jasper and I thought they might work for this. I asked her if she could get me some and she did. It's probably the only nice thing she's ever done for me."
"Why does Alice seem to dislike you so much?" she asked.
I shrugged and took a deep breath. "She just doesn't agree with my lifestyle I guess. She's like a mother hen in a way. She has to manage and control everyone's lives the way she wants them to go. I honestly don't know why Jasper, and even Rose and Emmett, allow her to do it."
"I take it you don't allow her to tell you what to do," she pointed out.
"I try to resist it as much as possible. I get that she's a nurse, and caring for people all day is sort of what she does all the time, but I don't need a mother. I can make my own decisions without her help."
She smiled and raised an eyebrow. "You sound very bitter towards her," she accused
"She just irritates me. I don't like being told what to do. I've been told what to do my entire life and coming here was my way to get away from it, yet I still get it from her. Like her telling me to stay away from you for instance. Why is it any of her concern? Does it hurt her in any way if we spend time together? And then telling Emmett and Jasper to basically babysit you so I won't get anywhere near you."
"Is that why you agreed to take me here? So you could rebel against Alice?" she wondered.
"I don't know. Maybe a little," I admitted.
She nodded her head and looked over the edge again. "Well, are we going to do this or not?" she asked changing the subject.
"Are you ready?"
She took a deep breath and nodded her head. "Yes."
I picked up the bag of our clothes and reached out my hand for hers. She quickly grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. "When you hit the water it's going to be rough," I explained. "You'll probably have a sudden sting from the dive but just remember to kick to the top."
"Okay," she said nervously.
"Alright, let's go." I stepped to the edge of the water and began counting down from three. I still questioned if she'd actually go through with it, but when we reached one she readied herself for the jump and kicked off the edge of the cliff, screaming all the way down. As we hit the water, I released her hand and waited for the instant sting of the water to slightly diminish before swimming to the surface. I expected to see Bella pop up shortly after me, but after I came up and took a breath, I looked all around and she was nowhere to be found. The panic suddenly hit me that she hadn't come up from the water yet. I quickly dived back in and searched through the murky water for any sign of her. She was gone, though. I searched all around and there was no sign of her anywhere. I yelled out her name, hoping maybe I'd get an answer, but I didn't. She was just gone.
The fear of knowing this was happening again was overwhelming. I could barely breathe. All I could do was pray that I found her and she was okay. I continued to search, and finally, in the far distance I found her lifeless body floating in the water. I swam over to her and flipped her over, searching for any injuries. All I knew was she didn't appear to be breathing. Instinct kicked in and I dragged her to the shoreline. I tilted her head back and prepared to give her CPR.
"Bella, please don't die on me," I begged right before I leaned in to start the CPR. In a sudden jolt, there was water spit in my face. I sat back, shocked by what happened and saw Bella laughing and beginning to sit up.
"I can't believe you actually fell for that," she teased. "I'm not so weak I can't jump a few feet into the water without drowning."
While she continued to make comments about how it was just a joke and I was so funny for actually falling for it, I sat there with a gaping mouth, barely breathing, gasping for air, and a thousand thoughts running through my mind. On impulse alone, I grabbed her face and kissed her hard against the lips interrupting her constant teasing. I didn't care what happened, what the consequences were for what I was doing, or whether Alice found out or not. All I cared about was I needed a fucking release after going through what I just went through.
She whimpered as I forcefully held her and continued to kiss her. She didn't pull away or try to stop me while my tongue slid between her lips and devoured her sweet mouth.
My hands slipped behind her back and untied her bathing suit. I pulled it off of her arms and dropped it beside us. I grabbed both of her full breasts with my hands, squeezing and massaging them before letting my hands drift down her sides and grab her waist, lifting her up to straddle my lap. I needed sex and I needed it bad. While her arms wrapped around my shoulders and her fingers looped through the hair at the base of my neck, I trailed my lips and tongue down her neck and across her chest. I grabbed the hem of her bathing suit bottom and pulled until it ripped apart. I pushed it halfway down one leg, all the while still kissing her body in every spot I could reach. Quickly removing my cock from my soaking wet shorts, I lifted her up and gently guided her down on top of me, filling and stretching her in ways I'm positive she'd never been filled before. She gasped loudly and dug her fingers into my shoulder as I pressed even farther into her. For a split second I looked at her face and saw her eyes clench tight and her cheeks turn a deep shade of red. I almost thought about pulling out and stopping, but being inside of her was exactly what I needed and I wasn't about to stop unless she told me to. I waited for only a moment to allow her to catch her breath before gliding her up and down on top of me. Her whimpers and erratic breaths at every thrust only turned me on. She bit into my shoulder while I allowed her to take control and move back and forth on my cock. My hands trailed across her silky, smooth body and my mouth suckled on her breast, which were perched directly in front of me.
"Fuck!" I slurred through gritted teeth. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but it felt so good, and I couldn't stop. I wanted her, I needed her, and I wanted her to need this as much as I did. I continued to allow her the control of moving up and down on my cock, giving her the opportunity to come first. Given the situation, and who she was, I couldn't just fuck her and leave. I had to let her enjoy this too. When I knew she was close, by the way her moans got louder and her legs began to tighten around me, I pushed her forward letting her fall back against the sand and covering her body with my own. Once again I invaded her pussy with my hard and aching cock, causing her to flinch and yelp. I pressed into her as far as I could, allowing myself a moment of pure pleasure of being buried inside of her so completely. It was the most exhilarating feeling I'd experienced in a long time. I only pushed in and out of her a few time before I came so rapidly and completely. I let out a loud groan allowing the orgasm to take over every sense of my body. I wasn't even sure if she reached her own orgasm, but in that moment I didn't care. I had gotten what I was craving, and that's all I cared about.
After I came down from ecstasy, I pulled out of her and looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed and her breath was heavy. She had the slightest smile across her lips when she turned her head and opened her eyes to look up at me. In a sudden rush of regret, I leaned up on my knees, grabbing my hair in frustration while I stared down at her naked body on the beach. I had just done exactly what I promised myself I wouldn't let happen. I had taken advantage of Bella's innocence for my own needs. If this was anyone else I wouldn't have cared, but with her I didn't want this to happen.
"Fuck!" I shouted, standing to my feet and walking a few feet away. "God-dammit! What the fuck just happened?" I continued to shout and get angry with her instead of facing what I did. It's what I was good at. I ran away from every problem I'd ever had instead of facing it.
Five minutes must have passed before I turned around to face Bella. She had found the bag of our clothes washed up on the beach and was silently putting them back on. She hid her face from me and looked down with a shameful expression. She pulled her legs to her chest and hugged her knees with her arms. I could see her hands shaking from what I could only imagine was fear. Was she afraid of me or just my outburst afterwards?
"I should get you home," I insisted, roughly grabbing the bag of clothes off the ground and walking back towards the trees to get to the truck. I didn't even wait to see if she followed behind me or not. I just continued to walk forward until I reached my truck. I threw the bag in the back and hopped in, starting it up and waiting. I ran my hands through my hair roughly and hit the steering wheel with my fists a couple times while I waited. I was so angry with myself for what I allowed to happen.
Moments later, she quietly opened the door and slid into the seat next to me. She fastened her seatbelt and crossed her arms across her lap. I pulled out onto the road and started the drive towards Alice and Rose's house. She never once said a word or even looked in my direction. I went over every single event that happened in my head trying to figure out how I let myself go that far with her and whether or not I fucked up more than I ever had before. I tried to remember any moment she may have asked me to stop or any moment she seemed uncomfortable. I should have stopped at the first moment of distress across her face, but I hadn't. I needed to find some way to make this better. I didn't want this awkward tension between us around Jasper and Emmett. They would know instantly. Unfortunately, I didn't know what to say to her. I frustratingly sighed and rubbed my jaw while I drove.
I didn't say anything until I pulled in front of Alice and Rose's house. She quickly gathered up the few things she had and opened the door to get out. Before she shut the door, I leaned over and grabbed the door from her.
"We're good, right?" I asked unsure of what else to say.
She hesitated for a moment and gave me a confused expression as if she didn't understand what I was asking. "Yeah, we're fine," she answered with a slight forced smile.
"So I'll see you tomorrow on the beach by my house for the surfing lesson?" I questioned.
She nodded her head taking in a large breath. "I'll be there."
"Okay," I said letting go of the door and allowing her to shut it. I watched as she slowly made her way up to the door and walked inside. I hit my fist against the steering wheel a couple more times and groaned angrily at myself before pulling out and heading home. I messed up…again.
This was just a tiny glimpse into Edward's past, but don't ask who Tanya and Maggie are because their relevance won't be revealed until later in the story. Don't hate Edward for what he did, either. He's still very guarded and needs to be broken down. Bella was not upset by what he did. Next chapter will be one of very few Bella POVs.
One last thing, the awards I co-host are up and running for its second year. The Emerging Swan Awards are accepting nominations for One-Shots, Short Stories, WIP, and Completed Stories until this Sunday, August 5th. Don't waste time getting your favorite stories nominated for an award. I know all the wonderful authors who write stories to keep us all entertained would love your nomination. A link to the Emerging Swan Awards blog is on my profile.
Thanks for reading :)