Disclaimer: I don't own Growing Pains


It had been 3 days since Sandy's death and it was really hitting Carol hard. She had refused to come out of her room or eat. A knock at the door was heard.

"Carol," Mike said, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Carol said unlocking the door.

He hugged her.

"I know how you're feeling right now," he said

"You know how I'm feeling?"

Carol stared at her brother who was 4 years older than her.

"MIKE MY BOYFRIEND DIED. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW HOW I'M FEELING"

"Because," Mike said, "I'm watching my little sister hurting right now. Look Carol there is no magic answer. I wish there was. I would give anything to bring Sandy back to you. I would give anything to make things better for you right now. You're going through hell and I'm right in the flames with you."

Carol blinked.

"I don't like the way it feels," she said brokenly.

"I don't either," Mike said, "I don't like how it feels to watch my sister hurting. I really wish I could take that pain off of you and put it on me. It's killing me to see you like this."

"Mike," Carol said, "You went through tough times right?"

"You know I did," he said gently

"How did you get past it," Carol said, "It seems like this pain is going to last forever"

"My pain felt like that too," Mike said, "and this feels worse. I would relive every moment of the struggle I went through if it could bring Sandy back to you. Come on. Let me take you out for lunch"

"How can I eat," Carol said, "Sandy's dead"

"Do you think Sandy would want you to get yourself sick?"

"Of course not," Carol said, "But I would feel too guilty to eat"

"Carol you didn't do anything to cause this," Mike said, "and you know what. Sandy is up in heaven right now and he's watching over you. He wouldn't want you doing this to yourself"

"I can't stop feeling sad," Carol said.

"No; you can't," he said gently, "and you're probably going to feel sad for a LONG time. I know that when I lost my girlfriend last year I still feel sad about it sometimes. But I promise you Carol the pain will fade. It will get smaller and smaller and smaller until you hardly feel it anymore. And then, after you'll feel a glow. It will be a warm tingling feeling just like someone feels at the end of a really bad day. You'll never be alone. You have a big brother who loves you so much"

He pulled her into a hug.

"You say that now but what are you going to think in the future? What are you going to think 20 years from now or whatever it is about me?"

"I am going to think the same thing I think now," Mike said, "You're beautiful, sweet, sensitive and my best friend."

"But Mike I am so angry that he died," Carol said, "It's not fair"

"You have every right to be angry," Mike said, "I'm angry too that he died. I'm angry that you lost your boyfriend. I'm angry that my little sister is hurting right now. I'm angry about all of that. But you will see Sandy again Carol. You will see him again where there will be no pain. You will see him again where there will be no saying goodbye. You will see him again where there will be no tears. Eventually everyone is reunited and Sandy is no exception to that rule"

Carol reluctantly let her brother take her out to eat.


Auther's Note: I wrote this because the show never dealt with Carol's grief of losing Sandy. It's hard to lose someone u love. I speak from experience