Quahog was in a crisis. Ever since Mayor Adam West decided to give all jobs pay-cuts (just so he could save enough for a vacation), people have been working hard but earning half of what they used to earn. Some jobs could just survive, whereas others were going on strike or had to be completely axed. For the Griffins, it was a mixture. Peter was coping under Angela, but Chris had to leave his job, because Carl wasn't earning enough to keep him and he ran out of sexy ideas to give him anyway. Meg was still unemployed and it was unlikely she would get a job. Brian had not found the right job for him for years and he couldn't think of any good ideas for stories. Lois kept her jobs – cooking, cleaning and everything her boring life could have.

But everyday Stewie would come home on his tricycle from his day care center. He would act very cheerful and would go straight to his room. None of the humans noticed this, but Brian, one of the few who actually knew and understood him, noticed this. This had been going on for about four months.

One day, he went to Stewie's room and could not believe what he saw – he could see the most expensive bed, chairs, tables, candles and the grandest potty for toilet training. Lois's parents, Carter and Babs, were drinking champagne and watching TV in the grandest baby's bath tub.

"Hey, Brain, maybe we'll come over to your crappy house more often now, eh?" chuckled Carter.

Brian sighed and went to find Stewie. Then he found the baby dressed in an expensive dressing gown lying on a grand bed. "All right, what have you been up to?" Brian demanded to know. "And where did you get the money?"
"Hey, what makes you think that?" asked Stewie.

"I know you don't like day care," replied Brian, "so tell me how you are getting these things!"

"Well, I am paying for them," Stewie said, showing him a handful of dollars.

"Where do you get the money?" Brian demanded.

"Like I'm going to tell you," said Stewie. "That's like in stories if the main characters would make the healthy decisions, but would that make it an interesting story? No! This is the interesting story! And I'll thank you to keep it interesting by leaving my room now!"

Brian sighed and left anyway. Then he had an idea.


Next morning, Brain pretended to read a newspaper, while he was waiting for Stewie to walk out of the house. He followed him in his car as the baby was pedalling his way on his tricycle. Unfortunately, he got caught up in traffic. He didn't move in about ten minutes, so he began to drift off.

Later, his window was being banged on. He woke up and saw Joe Swanson there. "Move on, Brian! You've turned a ten-minute traffic jam into an hour-and-a-half traffic jam! Now, move! And think yourself lucky I'm leaving your driving licence alone!"

Brian drove on. He went out into country and decided to take a breather just outside Quahog Farm. Then he saw Stewie cycling pass him and going behind a bin. Two minutes later, Stewie didn't come out. So Brian got out of his car and walked behind it to find a dog urinating on it. "Do you mind?" asked the dog.

"Sorry," said Brian, as he quickly turned around. He saw the dog vanished. Then he looked inside the bin. "Stewie? Stewie! Are you there?" But he couldn't even see any trash at all, let alone one piece of baby trash. Then he accidentally fell into the bin. The bin lids closed. And Brian felt like he was falling down the bottom of the Earth. Then two doors opened. Brian saw that the area he was in didn't look like underground, but a sort of hotel room. He crept through behind the rocks and two babies – one black with spiky hair and one white one wearing glasses – both nude walking in front of a big forest background in front of a bunch of cameras. They posed. "Come on!" cried the boss, who was looked like a six-year-old boy but had a forty-year-old voice. "Johnny Jr., you said you were cool, so act cool! And, Benny, what happened to those sunglasses I gave you? You look crap!"

Benny took his original glasses off and put his sunglasses on. "Now, we're talking!" smiled the boss.

Brian sighed and walked away. He turned on the other side of the rocks and saw Stewie naked on a bed. Brian saw Stewie posing nude for a bunch of cameras.

"Show your whole ass, Stewie!" ordered the boss, walking on the set. "Offer them your penis!" And Stewie did everything he was told to do.

"Right, it's partner time! Suzy, you're on!" cried the boss. Then Brian saw a nude female version of Stewie only with blonde hair joining Stewie on the pose.

"Okay, hold hands," commanded the boss. "Now hug each other! Now have sex!"

"I can't take any more of this," said Brian under his breath. "I know Stewie wants to take over the world, but even this is too inappropriate for evil babies too. I'm going to report this to Joe."

When he turned around, he saw the boss in front of him. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm, uh... a... health inspector," Brian said.

"Nice try," the boss grinned evilly, as he grabbed Brian by the collar.


The boss took the white dog and thrown him in some sort of cell. The door was locked. "So what inspector did you say you were?" asked a female voice.

Brian turned around and saw a cat version of him. She was white and wore a red collar.

"Health Inspector," he said, trying to hold himself.

"Well, my Tax Inspector trick didn't work either," said the cat.

"Neither did my building service offers," sighed the big black bull, with a deep basso voice. "The name's Arnold. Named after Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm the bull who works near the farm and I came looking for the farmer's baby boy."

"Call me Jack," greeted the moody goat. "I have to get the son of my boss, John Gergton, the Head of Quahog Post Services."

"My name is Helen and I came here looking for my mental mistress's baby girl," greeted the cat. "Who are you and what's your story?"

Brian felt like he had just met the right type of friends he wanted to have all his life. He smiled. "My name is Brian Griffin and I'm looking for my mental master's baby. I'm the one in the family who knows and understands him very well."

"Yeah, only I can understand Suzy," said Helen.

"While his dad is working, I'm the only one for Johnny Jr.," Jack told Brian.

"Wherever I go on the farm, either to do jobs or take a breather or go to the toilet, Benny always has to follow me," moaned Arnold.

Then the door broke down and in came Joe, Peter and Lois. "Brian!" they cried.

"How did you find me?" asked Brian.

"Well, Peter and Lois said you've been gone nearly for a whole day and they couldn't find you," Joe told him. "Then they came to me and I tracked you down because you're chipped in your throat and now we've caught the bad guys, thanks to you."

"Wait a minute! Who chipped me in my throat?" asked Brian.


It was Dr. Hartman.

"You're a vet as well as a doctor, too?" asked Peter, watching him chip Brian.

"Oh, yeah, I love animals and I want to help them too," smiled the doctor.