Super duper special thanks to my lovely beta ShouldHaveReadBetweenTheLines this is my first stab at the Big Bang Theory fiction so I hope you enjoy!
Oh and in case it wasn't completely clear I do not own the Big Bang, wait maybe, no, no I don't at all and unless some crazy, random happenstance occures I won't.
It was laundry day, for the first time in a while Penny was joining Sheldon. She hadn't been able to match up her busy schedule at the Cheesecake Factory to fit in Sheldon's regular laundry day.
Then she didn't have time to go over and visit the boys, she had to pretend to be outraged, jealous even, when Leonard started dating Priya, she had to pretend for Bernadette and Amy. She also had to pretend not to be outraged when Amy, her self-proclaimed bestie, got the kiss she hadn't realized she wanted. She hadn't even been able to look at her neighbor without thinking about what those long fingers would feel like tangled in her hair, his large palms pressed against her back, pulling her closer. The fantasy was quickly popped when she remembered all of his idiosyncrasies and his hatred of human contact or in this case by the subject of her fantasy calling out, "Hello Penny."
She grinned back at the lanky physicist hoping he would ignore her flushed face, "Hi Sheldon," she replied.
He turned away from her and dumped his presorted clothes in the washer. She set her basket down on the table, sighing silently in relief that Sheldon hadn't noticed anything unusual. "Penny," Sheldon said turning his attention back to her, "you are going to sort your clothes into different groups based on color and other factors, correct. Otherwise you c ould have discolorations, shrinking…"
"Alright Sheldon, why don't you help me so I do it right." Normally she wouldn't give into Sheldon and his insistence on always controlling how everything was done, she had showed him time and time again that she didn't care about how her laundry was done, usually dumping all of her clothes in the same load; but this way she could work in close proximity with Sheldon without freaking him out to terribly. Plus she got the chance to fluster him when he went through her delicates.
"Why Penny, I would be delighted to help teach you how to properly sort your clothing."
"Great Sheldon, maybe next you can teach me how to fold."
He narrowed his eyes and examined her closely, "Was that sarcasm?"
She giggled, "Yes Shelly that was sarcasm. You're getting better at that."
He smiled slightly and they continued to sort in silence. As they were finishing, both reached for her last t-shirt. Their hands brushed and even as Sheldon quickly retracted his hand Penny could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, she couldn't help but think about what would have happened if they had done more than just brush fingers. A cough interrupted her thoughts and she blushed as she looked into the face of the man who had almost starred in her latest X-rated fantasy.
As she finished her laundry she couldn't look him in the eye, she participated as little as possible in the polite gibber-gabber and neither brought up Priya or Leonard, They talked instead about Howard and Bernadette's upcoming wedding and other things that were going on in their little group. After he finished folding the last of his superhero t-shirts he stayed behind and helped Penny fold hers. "You know I was kidding when I said you could help me fold."
"I am aware Penny but I started helping you and I intend to see the job finished and finished correctly."
She rolled her eyes, "Okay whatever floats your boat whackadoodle."
"Penny when we're done with your laundry would you like to join me for dinner?" he asked surprising them both.
"W-what," she choked out, wondering if he was confused.
"I-I," he cleared his through and started again, "Howard, Raj, and Leonard are all out making plans for the wedding and bachelor party. I thought since we were both going to be eating alone…"
Penny could see Sheldon getting more and more flustered and cut him off with a simple "Sure Sheldon, I'd love to."
They walked up the stairs together, chattering politely as they walked. When they reached the landing of their floor Penny smiled and told him she was going to put her stuff away. When she watched his door close she ran to her apartment, she slammed her door shut, pressing her back against it she suppressed a girly shriek and tossed her basket on her couch. She decided she could either put her clothes away when she got back or she could just live out of the basket for the week.
For the first time in years she was nervous about a date, and this wasn't even a date. She ran to her bathroom and brushed her hair out, swished around some mouthwash, and applied some last second lip gloss. Not that she thought for a second that she would need it or that Sheldon would even notice, but she could always hope.
As she started out the door she turned back and grabbed the bottle of Kahlua from the top of her fridge before heading through the door, if the rest of my evening goes the same way it has been, she thought, it might be nice to have something to take the edge off, though vodka would be ideal she would take what she could get. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly as she opened the door. "Hey Shelly, what do you want to…" she dropped off and inhaled deeply "mmm, Sheldon what is that amazing smell."
Sheldon turned away from the stove in surprise and smiled slightly, "Hello Penny, I didn't hear you come in; as for the smell that would be a garlic shrimp lemon alfredo, my memaw used to make it when we would go over to her house after church."
"Well it smells heavenly," she told him, wincing at the terrible pun as she lifted herself on to the island behind him. She smiled as his breathy laugh filled the kitchen, her sarcasm may go over his head but her cheesiest pun had the power to crack him up. I'll have to remember that, she thought, cause I really do love that laugh.
He turned to her a wooden spoon over his hand outstretched to catch any drips "Penny," he said, "will you please try this?"
She grinned devilishly, something she knew Sheldon wouldn't notice and replied, "Sure sweetie."
She leaned over slightly and reached her hand forward as if to stick her finger in, to grab a taste. As he moved the spoon closer Penny opened her mouth and grabbed it between her teeth.
She watched in amusement as his face changed from that that of surprise to one of mild anger. She pulled the spoon out of her mouth and waved it around as she talked, "its delicious Sheldon but I think it could use a little salt."
She held the spoon out to his face and suppressed a giggle as he flinched away. He reached out and grabbed it from her pinching its handle carefully between two fingers, "Penny do you know how long it is going to take me to sanitize this." She grinned back at him as she tried unsuccessfully to look ashamed but it quickly became a look of amazement as she watched him trace the outline her mouth left on the spoon with his finger and taste what was left "You're right though," he replied, "it could use a little salt."
It was an amazing moment, until his brain caught up to his actions and a look of panic crossed his face "Sheldon," she said reaching behind her and grabbing the bottle of Kahlua, "here use this."
He nodded and grabbed a small glass she poured a shot sized amount in it and he snatched it from her hands, knocking it back in the same motion. He swished it around in his mouth for a couple of seconds and he went toward the sink to spit it out "Nu-Uh Sheldon you are going to swallow that. By this point most of the germs have made it into your throat and bloodstream anyway."
She could see how desperately he wanted to contradict her blatantly wrong statement and how little he wanted to swallow but eventually his need to constantly be right, and breathe, outweighed him not wanting to drink. "First of all Penny, any microorganisms that I might have contracted from your mouth would have been killed by the alcohol you forced me to ingest."
"Chill out moonpie, you'll be fine."
"Penny while normally I only allow my memaw to call me that but for some unknown reason I don't really mind. I must be getting ill."
"Whatever you say, moonpie." She replied, always one to push her luck, "Now go, check on the food before it burns." She then slowly lifted herself from the counter and stood behind him she watched as his long fingers deftly grasped a new spoon and used it to push the shrimp around making sure they were all cooked evenly.
"Penny," he said interrupting the staring contest she had started with his fingers "the food is almost ready and I thought we could watch some Star Trek while we ate, that is if you don't mind."
"Well look at you Sheldon, asking if someone actually wants to do something your way! I would love to watch Star Trek with you."
"Good, while I serve the food will you please put in season two disc one and press play."
She smiled and bent down in front of the TV and popped the DVD in, she then took her seat in the middle of the couch.
She scooted as close as she dared to Sheldon and grabbed her plate from his hands. She ignored the opening theme to focus on how close their legs were. She wondered if he noticed and if it concerned him as much as it did her. She looked up from their legs and saw that his focus alternated between the show and his plate; deciding that Sheldon wasn't bothered by the closeness so she wouldn't be either, she moved a smidge closer so that their legs were a hair away from touching. Just as she began to focus on the plights of Captain Kirk and his first officer Spock she heard a phrase that captured her interest.
She thought about what she was going to say to Sheldon about this phrase and listened to the rest of the episode to make sure she had her facts straight, Penny remembered Sheldon often likened himself to Spock in that neither expressed emotion but both possessed and repressed them. As the closing credits rolled she turned toward the lanky physicist and asked "Hey, Shelly if you're Vulcan when's your next Pon Farr?"
A pink flush covered her cheeks but she held her head high as he answered, "Penny I have never said that I am a Vulcan, I have on at least one occasion that I am the prime example of the homo novus. Which I suppose in some aspects are similar."
"You didn't answer my question Sheldon." She reminded as the next episode began.
"P-Penny I don't understand what you're asking."
"If Spock had to mate once every seven years and you model yourself after him, aren't you due for a little… excitement soon," she paused feeling herself get more and more frenzied as she spoke "or did Amy take care of that for you already?"
"Penny if you're talking about intercourse, Amy Farrah Fowler and I haven't even considered it."
"So the mighty homo novus doesn't have needs?" She questioned hysterically, as her thoughts turned sexual her voice became low and guttural "you've never seen something you really wanted, needed?"
Her eyes jumped to his lips and she watched as his tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip. Her eyes slowly made their way up his face and to his eyes. They were focused downward and she realized that during her rant she had leaned over Sheldon, his eyes had darted down the opening of her low cut shirt.
Deciding that whatever remained of their relationship would be fractured after this encounter, she threw caution to the wind. In a split second decision she reached her hand out and grabbed his head forcing his lips to hers.
His body was rigid but she kept her mouth mashed against his. Slowly he began to relax and he started to kiss back. It was messy and she figured that this was his first time kissing anyone except his mother or memaw.
She couldn't however accuse him of being a slow learner, he quickly figured out what he was doing. Placing one hand in the small of her back pulling her closer and the other he tangled in her blonde hair.
When they eventually had to break apart Penny decided not to wait for his brain to catch up with what had just happened. She got up from the couch and started to rush out. When she was suddenly jerked backward she felt Sheldon's fingers wrapped around her wrist. He gently tugged on her wrist again pulling her back on the couch.
She kept her eyes down, unable to look at the man she was certain was about to banish her from the apartment.
"Penny," he started sounding scared "this is most likely just the alcohol affecting my normal though patterns but I believe it is also acting as a catalyst to get me to confess…"
"Sheldon, just spit it out," she shouted her voice wavering as she forced back tears.
"Penny, I want you to be the Uhura to my Spock."
"D-does that mean what I think it does?"
"Penny how would I know what conclusion your thought processes have brought you to," he replied affectionately.
"Sooooooooo," she said stretching out the syllables afraid to finish her thought in case she was horribly wrong, deciding to play it safe she finished with "Uhura was the communications officer, right" when he nodded she continued, "so you're saying we work really well together."
He grinned, "While everything in your previous statement was true and you're the best Halo partner I have had, I was alluding to a more modern version of the pair."
"How modern?" she asked now wanting to hear Sheldon admit that he had seen the movie he insisted would ruin the whole series.
"Oh you know sometime in the past decade or so," he replied refusing to fall victim to her trap.
"So spit it out moonpie what are you," they were both standing now and standing in the kitchen area, she pressed herself against his lanky frame forcing his back into the island, "alluding to."
He leaned down as if to whisper the name or to reprimand her for calling him that, instead he kissed her squarely on the lips. Her eyes stayed open for a moment in surprise she then proceeded to return his timid, uncertain kiss.
A small moan of pleasure escaped her lips and she marveled at how this kiss, something equivalent of what was exchanged in middle school, could affect her in ways that sex with Kurt, one of her other meat head boyfriends, or even Leonard never did.
If it had been any other guy she would have forced the two of them into his room but this was Sheldon she was locked lips with, not only would having sex with him now be pushing things, she would always feel like she was using him. Not to mention that once they got there she would be reminded that no one was allowed in there. So against her better judgment she pulled away.
"Penny for once I am uncertain and you look displeased, did I do something wrong?"
She laughed, "Oh no Sheldon sweetie you didn't do anything wrong. I just, I just don't like feeling like I've forced you into this."
"Penny, you couldn't force me to kiss you, my own mother can't even do that. No, I have been contemplating a shift in our relationship paradigm for quite some time."
She smiled "Okay if we're going to shift our para-whatever, we need to do it the right way."
"Its paradigm, honestly Penny it isn't that hard of a word. How do you propose we do it "the right way?"
"Next Anything-can-happen Thursday you are going to take me to a non-Sheldon approved restaurant, of my choosing."
"Now it's getting late and like a good boyfriend you're going to walk me to my door."
"Penny I don't understand why you need me to help you walk the 10 feet to your apartment."
"Because it's social protocol Shelly," she snapped and then added in a more sultry tone "besides if you come with me we might get to do some more boyfriend/girlfriend stuff."
"Are you trying to condition me to exhibit behaviors you approve of Penny?"
"Well you know Sheldon karma's a bitch."
As they walked out the door and toward hers Sheldon explained all about how karma was a crock that could be easily discredited with some simple equations and experiments.
They stood awkwardly in front of her door for a couple of seconds before she took the initiative; she stood on her tiptoes and grabbed the back of Sheldon's head pulling him into another kiss. He responded enthusiastically, they heard a group stomping up the stairs but she kept up the kiss, assuming it was someone who lived upstairs. That is until she heard a gasp and what sounded like a takeout box hitting the ground.
She broke the kiss to find a stunned Raj, Howard, and Leonard. A sly grin played at her lips, she looked each of the three in the eyes and kissed Sheldon on the cheek murmured, "See you Thursday," knowing his Vulcan hearing would catch her whispered reminder. As she shut the door she heard a shouted: "Dude, what the hell?" coming from three voices at once, although more so from an angry sounding Leonard.
She feared that Sheldon would anger his roommate with his no-holds-bar way of revealing the truth; so his response caught all four of them by surprise. She heard him cross to his door and called out to the three, "I'm going out with Penny," he paused and then finished as if in response to a question she hadn't heard anyone ask, "it's what Spock would do."
This Fan Fiction was brought to you by the letter R, as in review. So do it because you better believe that Big Bird will come after you if you don't.