Written as a brief adventure for the Helen and Nikola of Skipping the Preliminaries. Completely silly. Not sure I have the time to continue it in depth.

Forgive the copious pronoun confusion. This was written for Bauerfly, who particular enjoyed the twist in something else I wrote.


The lovely brunette with the slightly frizzy hair stalked into the sumptuous bedroom and sat upon the bed with a kind of frustrated grace. She crossed her hands under her breasts, then looked down, examining her own cleavage under the white man's shirt she wore with blatant interest. Then, sighing sadly, she cupped a long-fingered hand over her crotch, stroking sorrowfully.

"Prčim ti tri silosa žita zno po zrno a na svakom zrnu četiri isukrsta na karte igraju!"

"Nikola! Such language!" The handsome man with short dark hair stood leaning on the doorjam watching the woman with an amused grin on his face and a distinctly amused twinkle in his blue eyes.

"It's not fair!" The brunette wailed. "It's only been three months together, and you are telling me that we're stuck this way for an entire cycle of the moon!" She cupped her breasts in her hands, "These might be fun, but not enough fun to count. I finally win my way into your bed, I rescue you from being stuck in the land of restrictive corsets after you finally off Worth permanently, I whisk you away for a sensual honeymoon on Bali, and this is the reward I get! I miss my balls damnit."

Helen laughed, his voice as a man surprisingly deep. "Well, I have to say it's been an interesting experience to have acquired a pair." He walked completely into the room, shutting and locking the door to their bedroom behind him before during back to Nikola, who'd splayed herself across the bed in dramatic fashion.

Nikola pouted, her expression miserable. "I had such plans, such wonderful plans, such a variety of positions and possibilities. All foiled."

Helen sat on the bed, running a hand through his mate's temperamental hair. "You know, this could also be quite the opportunity to explore. A woman can come far more often than a man can. You could find you quite enjoy it. I know I do." Helen grinned, utterly mischievous, and Nikola wrinkled her nose at him.

"You would honestly be attracted to me like this?" Nikola waved a hand over her body. Long lean legs under trousers that were slightly too long, having belonged to Helen in a previous body, slim hips, small but firm breasts and the same blue grey eyes.

Helen leaned over Nikola, pressing a firm kiss to her lips. He backed away slightly and threw a leg over Nikola, pressing their hips together so that Nikola could feel the firmness of Helen's erection. "You are my mate, Nikola. Your mine, however you appear. And, I've lived a long time, and my occasional love affairs were never restricted to one gender." He pressed a press to the mark still on Nikola's neck and Nikola shivered in response. The thought of Helen with another woman made Nikola feel a tortured mix of intense arousal and fierce jealousy.

Helen bit down softly and Nikola reacted by wrapping her legs around Helen's hips instinctive. Helen chuckled and whispered in Nikola's ear. "If rumors are truly, you didn't limit your few affairs to women alone."

Nikola frowned. "I was curious, true, but I was also never on the receiving end, if you catch my drift."

"Well then think, my love, how often in a century and a half of life can you experience something for the first time?" Helen ran kisses Down Nikola's chest, pushing apart the side of the shirt she wore and capturing a nipple in his mouth. Nikola whimpered with the sensation.

"All right. I can work with this."

Helen smiled.


Serbian has the most amazingly poetical cursing I'm ever encountered.

"Prčim ti tri silosa žita zno po zrno a na svakom zrnu četiri isukrsta na karte igraju!" Translation: Because of how angry I am just about ready to analky violate three silos worth of wheat, grain by grain, and on each grain do the same to the four Jesus Christs that are playing cards there