Hey! After being encouraged by some of you, I've decided to write one last chapter of this story.
I´ve tried to deepen a little more about Will´s feelings this time (but idk if I could do it!), cause I've realized I'm always writing about Emma´s POV… lol (guess I find it easier…). So I hope this chapter is up your expectations!
Again, this a little unlike Emma and Will but what the hell, imagining is fun! =)
Thanks for reading and reviewing! And thanks a lot to Taylor (purple-wemma) for being my beta! :D
This wasn´t right. Not right at all. She knew it; she was perfectly conscious about it. She knew if Carl found out about it, her affair with Will, he would go insane; he would hurt him, not because he would steal his wife, but because he would feel only humiliation and shame.
She couldn´t even imagine what a scandal this business would be if it was exposed. Carl was, after all, a known professional in Lima and picturing the entire town talking about it made Emma sick. The divorce would be a Calvary, she´d be in serious trouble if he knew she cheated on him. Financially and socially.
She felt lost and helpless for the first time in years and she cried. She cried alone, resting heavily on her bed letting all the tension to escape her body with every running tear across her face.
It couldn´t be that hard to make a decision. It just couldn´t. She loved Will, not Carl. Nevertheless, she was so miserable. Guilt was eating up her mind but her love for Will didn´t diminish.
"Can I see you tonight?" he asked her trying to come across her eyes, as they walked towards their cars after school. A couple of weeks had passed since the lake episode; and also they secretly met several times (mostly at his place), but every time they did their brief encounters were never enough for him.
"I don´t know" Her reply was simple and soft. Lately those were the kind of answers she would gave him after his desperate attempts to see her.
Will sighed disappointed, despite he knew he had no right to feel that way. He was Emma´s lover. That was the only and plain truth. "Ok…" he whispered, suppressing every word fighting to escape his mouth.
Without doubt that whole situation would be a lot easier for him if he actually wouldn´t have feelings for Emma at all. He wished he didn´t care about her that much; he wished he was a selfish asshole, just like Carl so he could move on every time she would say she couldn´t see him that night.
However, the reality was his heart shattered and his chest ached every time Emma pulled him away. And he still couldn´t tell her everything he felt. He couldn´t say "I love you, I need you, see me tonight"; it wasn´t fair. She had enough trouble being with him to cause her any other struggle.
He found himself thinking about her every minute of the day, imagining what his life would have turned out if she never married Carl. How his life would be if they were together.
Stop it, William.
He shook those thoughts away, mad at himself. This was going to send him straight to insanity. He needed to stop; he had to be objective and detached because in fact he had no idea where this situation was going to end. Emma was still a married woman and she probably would remain like that.
Tears run across her cheeks on her way home. She could see and sense how Will felt when she answered his question. She knew she had hurt him and she felt broken as well because there was nothing she wanted more than spending time with him.
You´re so close of ruining everything, Emma. So, so close.
She told herself sobbing miserably. She needed to stop making matters worse; why was it so hard to put an end to her unsuccessful marriage?
When she got home, she pulled her car outside her condo and turned the engine off. She needed a couple of minutes to recover herself after shedding tears for more than 15 minutes. She looked her reflection on the mirror and a somber and melancholic woman looked her back. This was so unlike her. She wasn´t like that.
"Carl…?" Emma called her husband´s name when she entered the living room, "I´m home"
I don´t know why I bother… She said to herself when she got no reply from him.
Seeing her husband wasn´t in the kitchen and not finding any signs of his presence, her body instantly relaxed. She collapsed on the couch, resting her head back and sighing deeply.
The answering machine sounded. One message. Without getting up, not even moving, she extended her arm and search for the "play" button.
It´s me. Carl. Her body slightly tensed again. I´m not coming tonight. Of course; he was out of town. She had totally forgotten about it. The flight got delayed so I'm gonna catch the next one in the morning. His voice was monotonous, unemotional and Emma wondered why was he even calling. So I'll see you tomorrow night. Right; he wanted dinner to be ready at eight.
She deleted the message and grabbed her cellphone from her purse. She read the recent calls list and there he was. Emma hated what she was doing to him; she hated it. She hated he was her second option.
Pressing his name on the screen, she prayed he´d pick up.
The cab´s ride on his way to Emma´s was slow and tedious. He wished the driver would hurry up, because expectations were driving him insane. He also was grateful she´d have told him to take a cab instead of driving himself.
"Don´t bring your car!" she had added softly but quick before he would hang up, "Neighbors will suspect" she explained calmly. She loved that about her: her organization, her caution, everything about her was something he´d love no matter how irrelevant would be for other person.
He couldn´t help to feel curious about seeing her because it was the first time he would visit her condo; he wondered how it´d be; what color the walls would be, how it would smell, how soft her shits would be, the angle of the moonlight coming through her bedroom curtains lightning her curls….
Stop it. Now.
Will wanted to slap his own cheek to return to Earth before she´d open the door. He was standing on her doorway before he´d even notice and his mind was flying to places he wouldn´t have thought before: Emma´s house.
Almost immediately, Emma opened the door.
"Hi" She looked tired but her smile showed delight and ease.
"Thanks for coming after how I treated you today" she told him almost in a whisper when they took their seats on the couch. She seemed especially vulnerable that afternoon. "I, uhm, I didn´t want to be alone…"
"How long can I stay?" he asked her, taking her hand between his, as he leaned closer
Emma shrank her shoulders, "Carl is out of town". She really seemed vulnerable, so alone; even sad. The entire picture almost brought Will to tears because he wished he could cause her only happiness; and right now he knew, he was being one of the reasons of her current state. "He´s coming tomorrow afternoon" she added fixing her eyes in some spot of the wall.
"Oh…." Will could only respond. He had no idea what was supposed to say, what she wanted him to say. And although he wanted to express the words floating around his head, he knew he couldn´t. "Do you want me to cook something?" he asked trying to change the topic.
"Ok…. Whatever you choose is fine"
She wished Will would say something more than that. Something more than "you wanna eat?". But she knew he was trying not to cause her any trouble and she also knew talking about "the husband" with her lover wasn´t exactly what he would want.
Then again, just like earlier that day she could read Will´s pain; she knew how he felt because actually she felt exactly the same and Emma yearned he would see that. She knew she was hurting him, that he needed her, and it was destroying her. And Emma felt powerless, because she was the main responsible, she had created that situation by herself, because her marriage was a failure and she didn´t have the guts to put an end to it.
She longed he would hold her for a while; he would help her made her mind as his presence was a comfort to her heart.
"Need help?" she asked her walking into the kitchen to join him.
"Not really, this is practically cooking by itself" he joked planting a soft kiss on her cheek. It felt so natural; that was how they were supposed to be, instead of hiding from the world. "It´s gonna be ready in a couple of minutes, do you wanna set the table?"
"Sure" she squeezed his arm and got everything ready for dinner.
"Will?" Emma asked him sheepishly when they were done. She was cuddling next to his side on the couch.
"Yeah?" he was stroking her back tenderly
"I´m sorry" she declared minimally
"Wha-? What are you talking about?" he sat up pulling Emma´s body away so he was facing her.
"I´m sorry for how I treated you today" Will was about to start talking again, but she cut him, "You, you don´t deserve this. You know it and I-I…"
Here we go again. She started whimpering like a little girl hiding her face behind her trembling hands.
"Don´t hide your tears from me, Em" he told her, gently taking her hands by her wrists, revealing Emma´s reddish face, "I told you I love you". He leaned closer and dried her tears with soft kisses. "Do you regret this?" he asked planting small kisses over her wet skin.
A sob broke in the silence again and she cup his face to bring him closer. She didn´t regret it, but she had to take the decision she had choose earlier that day because this situation was no longer sustainable. Not for her and most certainly not for him.
Emma closed her eyes; feeling his warmth, loving the intimacy they were sharing. When his lips came close to the corner of hers she moved her head so their mouths collapsed into an eager kiss.
Will brushed his tongue against her upper lip, longing to taste her, and she returned the kiss by slightly parting her lips to meet his moistness. They kissed extensively, their lips dancing slowly as their breathing became heavier.
He couldn´t tell the reason of Emma´s initial boldness that night. She would rip his clothes away with rush, like that was the last time they would share intimacy together. And when she stood up and leaded him to the bedroom, pushed him to land on the mattress and climbed on top of him, he could have swear he saw a flash of grief in her eyes.
Emma kissed him with fervor, pressing her body against his and took her dress out above her head exposing her naked torso. The remaining clothes were taken off hasty, and almost immediately she was moving back and forth on top of him, nesting her face on his neck.
Will moaned her name when she sucked his pulse and he embraced her frame to roll her back so he was on top of her.
"I love you, Emma" he breathed hotly to her ear pushing inside her. "I love you" he repeated locking eyes with her as his forehead rested on hers, and his thrusts became deeper. He said those words like if that was the last time he could speak them out loud. His stomach twitched, announcing he had a bad feeling about Emma´s previous attitude.
"Will" she whimpered, "I-I love you too"
And in that moment, he felt Emma surrendering to him. Her eyes softened and her touches became tender and loving again. And when she cried his name once more and they hit their orgasms their mouths meet once more in a devoted kiss.
She loved him. And he loved her back. She couldn´t make that decision. It was going to break them. And they were already broken.
She rested on his naked chest while his hand caressed her bare back and she couldn't help her body to shake.
"I can´t do this" she said with trembling voice.
"What…?" Will asked sitting up and bringing her with him.
"I can´t-" Emma tried to explain
"I…" he interrupted her slowly. His voice was guttural. "I understand if this is the last time we can see each other like this" Emma sat up straighter, staring at him with shock and despair. "Em, I saw the way you looked at me today… It´s ok, really. I-" his eyes were filling with tears. He couldn´t hide the catastrophe taking place inside him. Emma opened her mouth to speak, but he cleared his throat and continued, "I love you. I don´t think I´ve ever loved someone as much as you. But I can´t ask you to leave Carl and-"
"You don´t have to" she cut him before he could finish, "I´m leaving him". Will was perplexed. "I can´t do this. I can´t make the decision I was gonna make. I love you. Not him" tears were running through her cheeks. "I can´t do this to you. To us"
Will´s lips crushed against her before she could even continue, their tongues meeting again in a way it was only theirs.
"I thought" he whispered when they pulled away, "I thought you were saying goodbye"
"I can´t. I can´t, Will" Emma replied between tears. "I just can´t drag myself away from you. I don´t want to"
"So let´s not, ok?"
"Ok" she answered with a giggle, drying her tears away.
Next morning earlier than usual, Will got up and took a cab to his place.
"I'm talking to Carl today" Emma muttered half sleep when he kissed her goodbye
"I´ll call you before going to school"
Ten minutes before leaving for school, he dialed Emma´s number.
"Good morning" he greeted her smoothly
"Hi" he could tell she was smiling on the other side
"Did you have a good night?"
"The best I could possibly have"
"I´m glad. Wanna ask you something…"
"Can we not see each other for the next months…?" he knew she was going to remain silence in stun. And she did. Will chuckled. "Don´t get me wrong, but I want your divorce process to be clean and faster as possible so I can take you on a formal date as soon as I have the chance" he said that last part flirting with charm.
"Oh…" Emma sighed, melting at his proposition. "Yes, I´d like that very much"
"Yes. I, uhm I love you, Will"
"I love you too, princess. See you at school?"
"Sure. And…" she added before hanging up, "I can´t wait for our first date"
Will couldn´t wait either.
That´s it! Sorry if the ending went a little fast but I could write forever and this so called "one shot" had to be ended! loI
hope you enjoyed this last chapter! Thanks a lot for reading!