tumblr told me that today was supposed to be john/dave day, so I wrote this little drabble last minute.

Warnings: nothing really, it's a little sad.

Disclaimer: sup hussie, yeah i'm stealin yo characters, u got beef?

epiphany
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You don't know when you started to realize that things were different.

Was it when you woke up after beating the game, and the hollowness you felt in your heart greatly outweighed the relief that it was all over?

Was it when you returned to your normal life and felt disillusioned from everyone around you, from all of the lives that you had saved, all except the three who still remembered?

Or did it take longer than that? Was it years later when he started asking for girl advice, and you had to step back and realize that you had never been in a relationship? That out of the dozens of girls who had flirted with you, made passes at you, confessed to you, asked you out, none of them had been good enough because there was always something missing?

Was it when you could feel Rose and Jade drifting, falling into their own lives, moving on, while it felt like you were remaining stationary, unable to accept life outside of sburb? Was it when you realized that he must feel the same way, because he still talked to you almost daily, confessed that he was unable to connect to anyone besides you and the girls?

You don't know when you started to realize that things were different.

All you know is that now, when you wake up he is the first thing on your mind, he is the one thing that keeps you going throughout your day, talking to him is the only thing you look forward to anymore, and he is the last thing on your mind before you drift off to nightmares or wet dreams. You don't know whether to be disgusted at this level of dependency, or to lean into it, because you know that if anyone could have it in their heart to accept you, it would be him.

Slowly, you acknowledge that if meaning were to ever exist on this shitty excuse for a planet, and if it were to be found anywhere in your lousy life, it would be him.

If you were to ever find yourself capable of loving someone, it would be him.

That was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist
But darling, you are the only exception
The Only Exception, Paramore