Summary: Sephiroth tries to better understand human interactions by watching Genesis, Zack, and Angeal. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't really help him much.

Incident: Scrabble

Sephiroth stood at the back of the room watching his three friends play Scrabble. They had asked him to join, but he didn't see the point in the exercise and had declined. However, they all seemed intently focused on the game.

"LOVE," Genesis said finally after a long pause. He laid four tiles onto the board, spelling out the word. "And it's a double word score," he added offhandedly as he shoved his still auburn hair away from his face.

"Love?" Zack repeated. "Aw, Genny, that's so sweet."

"Take your turn, pup," Genesis said doing his best to ignore Zack and waving a hand over the board and Zack stared intently at his pieces.

"I have GO," Zack said putting down the letter 'O' onto the board.

"Congratulations," Genesis said dryly and Angeal scribbled down the score.

"Yea, well I have bad luck, okay?" Zack said. "It's all about luck of the tiles."

"I have TENT," Angeal said as he placed three tiles onto the board.

Genesis smiled slightly as he carefully placed his wooden tiles on the board. Adding 'GESIA' to the back of ANAL, which had been laid down by a blushing Angeal several turns ago.

"And what the heck is that?" Zack asked.

"Is that a challenge?" Genesis asked with a wolfish smirk as he slid the dictionary across the table.

"No," Zack whined.

Angeal reached across the tale and picked up the dictionary. He quickly flipped through it. "Analgesia, insensibility to pain." He read.

"This is so pointless," Zack whined as he threw his hands into the hair.

"Not entirely," Genesis said. "As you pointed out earlier, luck is always an element of this game, so there is always a slim possibility of you winning."

"Thanks," Zack said sarcastically to Genesis before turning to Angeal. "What's the score?" He asked.

"You don't want to know," Angeal advised as he glanced down at the sheet of paper.

Zack rolled his eyes. "Probably not," he agreed.

"Does "OK" work?" Zack asked as he put an "O" before the "K."

"Sure," Angeal said.

"How many "O's" do you have?" Genesis asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Zack said winking at Genesis.

"Angeal, your puppy is very strange," Genesis said.

"I noticed."

"You might want to try getting him neutered. I heard that helps calm them down."

"What?" Zack yelped his eyes going wide as he glanced nervously between Genesis's even smile and Angeal's half amused, half annoyed expression.

"Or you could try a shock collar," Genesis added helpfully.

"I'll keep that in mind," Angeal said.

"Hey, I behave," Zack whined. "And someday I'm going make Soldier First Class. Then I'll show you!"

"He's kidding, Zack. You really are a good SOLDIER," Angeal said, smiling at Zack as he reached over to place down his word, TRUTH.

Genesis then took his turn, placing a "TH" on the back of the word "ZERO."

"Zeroth?" Zack asked.

Angeal was already flipping to the definition. "Zeroth, immediately preceding what is regarded as 'first' in a series."

"So zeroth means second?" Zack asked.

"Please, tell me you're kidding," Genesis said as he stared across the board at Zack.

"Of course I'm kidding," Zack said nervously. Genesis reached up and pressed his hands against his face and muttered something about destiny, Loveless, and stupidity.

Zack's phone then went off. He quickly plucked it out of his pocket, pulled out the offending noisemaker, and pressed it to his ear. He only listened for about a second before he let out a yelp. "Cloud! I'll save you!" Then he stuffed his phone back in his pocket and took off running for the door.

"Sorry," he called back. "I have to rescue a Chocobo."

After he was gone, the room was silent for a minute.

"Angeal," Genesis said finally, breaking the silence. "You should have gotten a cat instead."

Lesson Learned: Never play Scrabble with Genesis… or Zack.

Incident: Lunch

"Howdy," Zack said as he plopped himself down on cafeteria chair next to Angeal and across from Sephiroth and Genesis.

"How was the mission?" Angeal asked.

"Okay," Zack said. "Did I miss anything here?"

"Not really," Angeal said. "Just the usual stuff."

"Well," Genesis said. "You missed the pudding and the cake."

"Huh?" Zack asked, looking utterly confused.

"Oh, nothing. The cafeteria just had a feast to celebrate the recent victory. The food was really good, unlike the normal stuff they give us," Genesis explained.

"Good food," Zack echoed with a forlorn expression on his face as poked the mysterious gob of some unknown dead animal that was rotting on his plate.

"You know if you go up and ask them, they might have some leftovers from Monday. Why don't you go up and ask them?" Genesis suggested as he ran a finger over the rim of his cup. "They probably won't have any desert left, but they might have the other food."

"I will!" Zack declared and he stood up and made his way up to the lunch counter.

"We didn't have a feast on Monday," Angeal said, looking at Genesis with confusion.

Genesis smirked.

"I believe on Monday we had the fish that made us all so ill we ended up spending the rest of the day in the lavatory," Sephiroth said.

Angeal's eyes widened and he hurriedly stood up and took off after Zack.

"He ruins all my fun," Genesis whined as he absentmindedly poked at the large brown mass on his plate.

Lesson Learned: Don't trust Genesis, or the cafeteria food.

Incident: The Memo

"Sephy," Genesis purred as he sat down on Septhiroth's desk. "Have you seen the newest memo sent out by our esteemed Director?"

"No," He said thoroughly confused as to why Genesis would come down here just to ask him that. He also didn't understand why Genesis couldn't sit on the chair like a normal person.

"I think you should read it. It is… entertaining."

Sephiroth searched through the stack of papers on his desk and eventually found the memo which was entitled "Unacceptable SOLDIER Behavior." Sephiroth's brows furrowed in confusion, not understanding why Genesis wanted to show him this. He glanced down the list.

SOLDIERS may under no circumstances make false announcements regarding the lunch menu over the PA system.

SOLDIERS may under no circumstances lasso the cadets. The fact that some of the cadets may have hair similar to that of a Chocobo does not make this acceptable.

SOLDIERS may under no circumstances address his superiors as "Big Cheese Dude."

SOLDIERS may under no circumstances play golf on the roof.

SOLDIERS may under no circumstances redecorate the women's bathroom. In fact, SOLDIERS, seeing as they are all male, should not even be in the women's bathroom to begin with.

SOLDIERS may under no circumstances sell the cadets passes to the elevator, which does not require a pass, or tickets to the pool on the roof, which does not exist.

SOLDIERS may under no circumstances release farm animals into the facility.

"Zack," Sepiroth said once he had finished reading it.

"Zack," Genesis said with a knowing smirk as the door was suddenly thrown open and Angeal slid into the room, with a wide-eyed and worried look on his face.

"Have either of you seen Zack, or my coffee pot?"

Lesson Learned: Coffee is a highly dangerous substance and Zack fair should not be allowed near it.

Lavatory is a funny word. Now please take a second to review! Tell me what you liked, if you'd like to see more, and if you have any suggestions for future drabble-things. Thanks!