Latvia walked to the end of the line at the bookstore. The line looked like it would take longer then watching all the Star Wars movies in the dark. But, if Latvia wanted to buy the romance novels, he was holding, then he would have to wait in line.

"Excuse me sir, is this line moving?" Latvia asked the man in front of him. If he was going to wait in a long line he might as well ask if the line was moving.

"Oh, I don't know I just got here," said the man in front of him.

"Well, thanks anyway." Latvia then began flipping though the pages of one of the romance novels.

"Oh, you're a kid right?" asked the man in front of him.

"My age is-"

Unfortunately, the man in front of him cut him off. "Well, of course you're a kid. You look like a kid. Do you think my son, who's also a kid, would like this book?" the man asked as he handed Latvia a copy of Fun with Dick and Jane.

"Uh, how old is your son?" Latvia asked, since he didn't think anybody over the age of four would find Fun with Dick and Jane, entertaining.

"How the hell would I know?"

"Well he is your-"

Unfortunately, Latvia was cut off again. This man must be American. "Never mind, do you think my boy will like this book or not?"

"Fun with Dick and Jane, isn't exactly a entertaining book." Latvia started shaking because he was remembering a bad incident he had with Russia, Belarus, and the book Fun with Dick and Jane.

"Kid, why are you shaking worse then my puppy on flee shot day?"

"Oh, I was just-"

"Never mind, kid, come and help me pick a better present for my sonny boy." The man didn't even ask if Latvia wanted to join him. He just grabbed Latvia's hand and started walking away from the line.

"Uh, I would like to keep my spot in the line," Latvia said as he was being pulled away from his spot in line.

"So, kid, do you think my sonny boy would like this book," the man asked as he held up a book titled How To Deal with Your Yeast Infection.

"Uh, does your son have a yeast infection?"

"Kid, do you know something about my boy that I don't?"

"I never met your son. Its just that the book your holding is about-"

"Oh, never mind. What about this book?" The man put down the yeast infection book and was now holding a book meant for teenage girls going though puberty; it was titled, You and Your Monthly Friend.

"Are you even reading the titles of the books you are holding up?"

"Why would I waste time doing something stupid like that?" This guy was defiantly an American.


"Never mind, hey what about this book?" The man was now holding a book about llama herding. It was titled, Llama Buddies.

"Is your son into llamas?" Latvia was being to wonder why all these books were on the same shelf.

"I don't know. Hey what about this book?" This time the man was holding a book on the history of liquid soap. The title was A Soapy Liquidly History.

"I didn't know they had books on that." A book on the history of soap seemed like a waste of paper to Latvia.

"Books on what? Oh never mind. Hey what about this book?" Now the man was holding a book titled, How to Get Your Dogs to Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow! Apparently, it was a book for dog breeders.

"I think you really should read the titles-"

"Oh, what about this book?" The man was now holding a book titled, Getting Into the Fat Pants. Latvia had no idea what a book with that title could possibly be about.

"I really should get back in line before the store closes." Purchasing his romance novels was very important to Latvia.

"Nah, you can wait kid. Oh what about this book?" Now the man was holding one of those baby's first words book.

"Maybe, I should pick out the book," Latvia volunteered, since this man was doing a terrible job at it.

"No way, kid, this book has to come from my heart."

"It will come from your heart. I just think that-"

"Ok, kid, why not? What do you have in mind?" Wow, this guy changes his mind fast.

"Well, what is your son like?"

"Now, how the hell would I know that?"

"Well, he is your son and you are-"

"Are you going to pick out a book for me or not?" This guy was starting to sound like a jerk to Latvia.

"I am. I just need to get an idea on what your son is into, before I can pick out a book for him."

"Well, that's stupid and a waste of time."

"If you want to pick out a good gift then you really have to-"

Unfortunately, Latvia didn't get to finish his deep speech on knowing a person. The intercom went off to tell everybody in the store that the bookstore is now closing.

"Never mind, kid, I'll let my wife pick out a book. She knows how to read," the man said as he left the store.


Poor Latvia, he didn't get to buy his romance novels because he had to help an illiterate man. Oh, and poor Latvia because he has to go back home to Russia.

If my dyslexia made a mistake please point it out, so that I can fix it. Thanks!