Author's Note: This is, in a way, an iPod shuffle challenge. You put your iPod on shuffle and write to the first ten songs that play, no matter what, for the duration of that song. I took some liberties with the rules, but hey, arrest me. (Please don't arrest me). This is not a song-fic, even though it does include a glimpse of the lyrics from each song. For the record, this does not do my variety of musical tastes any justice.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or any of these songs.
IMPORTANT: The timelines vary so I tried to pinpoint those the best I could after each set of lyrics and put them in order by season.
I am quite interested in knowing which was your favorite and which was your least favorite. Thanks for reading. Enjoy!
Open Your Eyes – Snow Patrol
All this feels strange and untrue,
And I won't waste a minute without you.
My bones ache, my skin feels cold,
And I'm getting so tired and so old.
The anger swells in my guts,
And I won't feel these slices and cuts.
I want so much to open your eyes,
'Cause I need you to look into mine.
(Aliens in a Spaceship - Season 2)
Less than fifteen hours ago, he was pacing. He paced the floors of his office and the floors of the Jeffersonian. He distracted Angela, Zack, and Camille by pacing on the platform. He endlessly walked around her office. He wore down the floor of the upper-level of the building.
Somewhere around eleven hours ago, with two hours left, his feet hurt. His eyes stung from the mixture of a sleepless night and immense worry. His back was sore, his trigger finger itchy. He needed to do something and he needed to do it right then. He had never felt more exhausted than he did in that moment, never so old. Yet, his body was aware of everything around him.
Nine hours ago and he was finally running. He slid down the bank, almost tumbling over himself, and ran faster than he ever had. Adrenaline pumped through his body and prayers rushed through his brain at a million miles a minute. Let her be okay, God, he silently cried. Please. I need her to be alright.
Two hours ago she woke up from a nightmare. It was practically a miracle that she agreed to let him stay on her couch. Afraid the Gravedigger would come after her because she escaped, he needed to be with her. Brennan had woken up silently screaming, her arms thrashing about. He was so angry with the person who caused her nightmares. If he could not slay the dragons in her dreams, he would get the son of a bitch who buried her alive in real life.
Now, he was sitting next to her in a chair he pulled up to her bed, holding her hand. His touch seemed to calm her. It did not dispel the dreams completely, and her rest was not peaceful, but it helped. It was not enough for him, though. Even though she was the one buried alive, he needed reassurance that she was there, that she was going to be all right. Camille and the EMTs had assured him of her physical safety, but he needed to hear it from her.
Instead of praying for her safety or of thanks, Booth now prayed she would look at him so he could somehow see in her eyes that she was alive.
Hope – Jack Johnson
It will teach you to love what you're afraid of.
After it takes away all that,
You learn to love,
But you don't always have to hold your head higher than your heart.
(Somewhere between when Max shows up in Judas on a Poll, but before Gormogon is revealed in The Pain in the Heart - Season 2/Season 3)
There had always been something between Brennan and Booth. They both mostly denied it but struggled not to silently face it after they kissed for Caroline under the mistletoe. Steamboats be dammed, they both had not wanted that kiss to end. It was apparent when Booth pulled strings to help lessen her brother's jail sentence and when he rigged the Christmas tree up to his car battery.
She was not ready to confront her feelings then, though. Booth understood that, even if she would never say it. First she needed to rediscover family. She needed to acknowledge that Angela, Hodgens, Zack, Camille, and himself were all her family. She needed to recognize her parents' love, and her brother's love, for her and accept it.
She needed an example of love, and he knew that he could not show her by example. She needed her father to make her understand why he did everything, whether leaving her or murdering those men. She needed her dad to talk about how much he loved her mom. She needed to see that love and marriage do exist and can work. Most of all, she needed to know that love is not always rational.
Then, once she saw the proverbial light, she could learn to love in other ways. She could see that Angela loved her and that she loved Angela just as much. She could see that Zack loved her as his role model and she could do even better by him.
Then he could show her all of the ways he loves her. He was sure she would understand the partner-love and protection. Angela's friendly love for Brennan could easily be translated into their relationship as well. And then, he could finally show her the type of love she deserved, despite her reservations. He could help her experience the love her dad tried to explain to her about he and her mom.
Finally, he hoped she would let her heart win over her rational mind, and realize her love for him. He had faith and hope in her ability to love.
The Approaching Curve – Rise Against
She looked down momentarily and closed her eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink.
Then she was crying. Then she was shouting. Then I was shouting.
Now pouring confessions, having no answers, or solutions,
We barely even knew the question.
(AU, sometime after The Santa in the Slush, Mostly-Irrelevant - Season 3)
A lot happened in his SUV during the span of their partnership. They bickered about religion and fate and love, they shared funny stories, they solved crimes, brought justice to families, and shared secrets. She has cried, he has slammed his fists on the wheel out of anger. She has laughed at her own "jokes," and he has indulged her. They have both fallen silent.
"I don't understand," she whispered. She could not look at him, instead focusing on twirling the ring her mother gave to her for her sixteenth birthday.
He noticed her blinking back tears, but even that could not deter him. "It means, Temperance, that you need to make up your mind. Either you're in this, or you're not." His tone increased in anger with every few syllables. He was angry, and while he would normally try to shield her as not to scare her away, he could not help himself today. "So what is it," he sighed in anger, his teeth gritting, and his jaw firm.
He never called her Temperance unless he was mad at something outside of the professional realm. "I do not understand," she confessed again, her voice raised.
"You can't keep running at the sight of trouble."
"When did I run? Huh, Booth?" She yelled the last part: "When did I run!"
"You run every Christmas. You avoid me when one of us makes a case-related mistake. Sometimes you even leave in the mornings before I'm even up!"
The argument was starting to spin out of control and she was sick of his accusations. "I leave every Christmas because seeing other people happy with their families only make it worse! When one of us makes a professional mistake, I occasionally avoid you so that we don't argue! And I left this morning to get coffee, which I would have brought back to you had you not picked me up me so angry! I was on my way when you drove up and forced me to get in with you!" She pointed her finger in his direction, her eyes narrow. "Don't you dare, Booth. Don't you dare get mad at me for all of this."
Her comment about Christmas filled him with guilt. He wanted to tell her she had a family, but could see it was not the right time. He understood her avoiding an argument with him, but it did not make him like her answer any more. He pulled the car over after her last answer.
They looked at each other, suddenly silent. There was no more yelling and no more accusations. Neither of them felt entirely certain what the problem was, and Booth was unsure why he felt the way he did to being with. Instead, they stared at each other, both trying to find a way to amend the hurt.
Exit Wounds – The Script
And it hurts so bad that I search my skin
For the entry point, where love went in,
And ricocheted and bounced around,
And left a hole when you walked out.
(The Parts in the Sum of the Whole - Season 5)
When he got that home from the Hoover building that night, he barely made it from the fridge to the couch with his beer. His limbs felt so heavy. He could barely keep his head up, let alone lift his feet to carry him across the room. He registered the feeling of the cold liquid swashing around in his mouth and sliding down his throat, but only vaguely. His lips, along with the rest of his body, were numb.
Beyond exhausted, he merely stood under the stream of water and stared at a spot on the wall. After about twenty minutes of wasting water, he got out and slowly wrapped a towel around his waist. In the mirror, he saw his skin had turned bright red. The water had burned him, but he had not noticed.
When he looked at his face, he saw a vague memory of himself. His jaw was slack and his eyes looked tired. He almost looked older than he had that morning.
The thing he noticed the most, though, was the lack of injuries. There were no gaping holes in chest, no purple and black bruising along his abs. No explanation for why he felt like someone had tried to murder him.
Human – Jon McLaughlin
Can you tell me how we got in this situation?
I can't seem to get you off my mind.
All these ups and downs
They trip up our good intentions.
Nobody said this was an easy ride.
(Pre-series pilot/Time during The Parts in the Sum of the Whole - Season 5)
Both Brennan and Booth found themselves caught up thinking of each other after their first case ended.
They were both angry. At first, that composed most of their thoughts. How he had treated her, and how he had fired and re-hired her like a yo-yo, had seriously frustrated her. She had tested the boundaries a bit, but he had no right to handle things the way he did.
Eventually, though, the frustration boiled away. More nights than not, she found herself lying awake in bed unable to sleep. The scene outside the bar, from them kissing, to his confession, and her driving away, would play through her head.
Sometimes, she regretted the decision. Other times, she sat and remembered how his lips felt, and how she could taste the remnants of his drink. It was irrational, and she thought it was beyond ridiculous, but she could not help it.
For Booth, the brilliant yet socially stupid scientist had baffled him. He was mad because of how much she affected him. He was mad that, for some reason, she seemed to turn him into a secret sap. For all he knew, during the first few months apart, he feared he would start listening to Coldplay—Coldplay!
He was also mad at himself for letting her go. He never should have let her leave in that cab. He should have fought, not been so distracted by her influence over him from a single kiss.
Some days, they would be mad, but rarely either of them went through a day without remembering something about that first case with each other.
Open Your Eyes – Snow Patrol
Get up, get out, get away from these liars,
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire.
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine,
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time.
(Post-Hacker, Ante-Hannah, Mostly-Irrelevant Time-wise - Season 5)
He often joked she had a horrible taste in men. From random online dates, to physicists who cannot tie their own shoes, men who are convinced a non-existent ghost told them to chop their brother's head off, men who sailed away on a boat from such a wonderful woman, and a man much too happy who also listens to Coldplay.
Despite his jokes and jabs, he meant it. None of those men understood her. David, the online date, saw her only as a "hot" woman. Booth saw her as beautiful, but not only because of her bone structure or physical appearance.
The axe-murderer, pun intended, understood what it was like to lose family, but he could not understand what it was like to have your parents and sibling leave, to be completely abandoned. Booth might not completely know, either, but at least he helped reunite her family.
Sully was simply an idiot. Not only would no man in his right mind leave such an amazing woman, but no man would ask her to leave as well. If Sully understood Temperance, he would have known how important her work was. He never would have pulled her from that, taken the purpose from her life, and he never would have left her. Booth certainly would never leave, nor would he have to give up his dreams for her; she filled every one of them.
Andrew Hacker was a species of his own. Men do not listen to Coldplay; even Sweets, the child, agreed. Booth could have easily seen Hacker's happy-go-lucky attitude annoying her in the long run. He, out of all other men, understood her the least. But Booth could pick up on her subtle tells and knew when to act a certain way around her.
Booth was always there, regardless of his feelings towards the men, to pick up the pieces when they all eventually let her down. When Sully sailed away, he was there to take her to breakfast and make as many stupid jokes as it took for her to forget him.
Anytime she needs, he will offer his arm or hand and take her away from the pain, because maybe someday she will step into the light and see him for who he is: her last.
Enchantment – Corinne Bailey Rae
Why don't you tell me I'm forgiven?
He calls, don't know how I fell under his spell.
Lately I've been driven.
He smiles and I give in,
(Sometime after Booth and Hannah break up - Season 6)
When her guard is down, she can almost never refuse his smile. He knows how to turn the charm on and off, and occasionally she knows he uses it on her.
He has seen him worm himself into the hearts of other women, woo them to get his way or charm them into dinner. She once thought Caroline was the one who gave in most, consciously helping him against her better judgment because his smile makes her feel like the only woman in the world.
However, she found herself mistaken. She can recognize the smile he gives Caroline, Angela, and Dr. Saroyan, but when he smiles at her, mischievous or not, there is always something else there. That something else almost always gets her to acquiesce.
It made her accept Brainy Smurf, allowed him to drag her away from the lab for various meals, and almost always made her forgive him.
She does not believe that one can see a person's emotions through their eyes, but when he smiles at her, leaning an inch closer, she notices pure joy throughout all of his features, somehow highlighted by his eyes.
After that awkward night in his car when she confessed her regret, and after he broke up with Hannah, things between them were tense. But when she saw the return of the smile she irrationally believed was reserved for her, she felt like she could finally take a breath. Things would finally go back to normal between them.
Around You – Sherwood
'Cause we're gonna wake up,
We're gonna wake up.
The night is strange and new,
'Cause love is soaking through.
I wanna wake up,
I wanna wake up to you.
(The Hole in the Heart - Season 6)
It was late when they got back to his apartment. On any regular day, she would have showered and composed a few hundred words of her novel or reviewed case notes before slipping beneath her sheets for a few hours of sleep.
Instead, she found herself on her partner's couch in her partner's clothes, unable to keep scenes of earlier that evening from floating through her memories. Her intern's last words disrupted the silence. She could not fall asleep and, while she did not want to interrupt his slumber, she needed someone to talk to.
Eventually, that led her to his bed. There, she found the comfort only he could give, and finally found rest. Before falling asleep, she briefly wondered what it would be like when they woke up. Would things be different when the sun lit the room? Would he have regrets? Would she have regrets?
In those few seconds before sleep did overcome her, she registered the feeling of his arms around her shoulders and felt at home. Everything had changed, but nothing felt different or erroneous. Everything felt right for the first time in a long time, and she no longer worried about waking up the next morning. Rather, she looked forward to ebbing into consciousness enveloped in the protection of his warm arms.
Daylight – Coldplay
To my surprise and delight,
I saw a sunrise, I saw sunlight.
I am nothing in the dark,
And the clouds burst to show daylight.
(The Change in the Game - Season 6)
It felt like forever until they were "them" again. To Booth, it took too long, and he still felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was afraid that something would scare her away again, despite all of the extensive progress she had made.
He was afraid that her last bit of imperviousness would never fade. He feared he would do something to mess everything up again. He worried that something would take everything he loved about her away. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, and even her bluntness—he loved all of it and would be nothing without it.
He did not think he would ever forgive himself if something separated them, did not think he could go another day without seeing her lips turn into a grin, or the skin around her eyes gather ever so slightly.
When they were undercover, she smiled and she laughed. She kissed him on the cheek and cheered for him. After everything they had been through, it was nice to see her set herself free once more, even though he knew that she was mostly acting.
Then he watched her worry over Angela and the baby. He never should have doubted her strength, but a part of him feared how the baby's vision could affect her. As they walked the streets that night without a particular destination in mind, he figured that was what distracted her.
But then he saw her smile and heard the slight laugh in her tone when she began to speak. That was enough—his Brennan was back and so was he.
No Sudden Revelations – Paper Route
Will you leave me?
I won't leave you.
Do you need me,
Like I need you?
All those secrets,
How I need you.
Our love is more memory than time.
There are no sudden revelations.
(Sometime after The Change in the Game - Season 6 - But before Season 7)
"What if everything becomes to much? Will you leave me?"
He lifted her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "I won't leave you."
"I believe you."
He smiled and stroked the top of her hand with his thumb. She rested her forehead on his shoulder and moved their hands to her stomach. "I need you. We need you."
He felt the baby kick and he smiled. She was worried, and even though it was not the first time they had held this conversation, he was not worried. "And I you," he replied. He removed his hand from hers to lift her chin up. Looking in her sleep-ridden eyes, he tenderly spoke. "I am not going to leave you or our child, Bones. If not for you, and if not for this baby, for me. You understand me. You stop me from doing stupid things, like choking murder suspects in interrogation or going postal on one of the Squinterns. I don't remember a time not loving you, and I don't plan on experiencing a time like that. I'm here, alright? For better or worse."
She smiled and put her head back on his shoulder. With everything they had been through, all of the hardships they have faced together, she could never leave him. She never would have made it through those times without him to begin with. How would she brave them alone now?
"For better or for worse," she quietly agreed.