Shinigami-cat: Well this is the last chapter... Not much to say now... I OWN NOTHING!

How to mend a broken soul

All this pain
Take this life and make it yours.
All this hate take your heart and let it love again.
You will survive it somehow.

Life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.
Life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.
Life starts now.

'Life starts now' by Three Days Grace

Matthew woke up to the sound of the rhythmical beating of a heart monitor. Matthew blinked a few times and cringed. His whole body hurt so much. He looked around the room. All completely white and the disgusting smell antiseptic filled his nose. "Gross..." He mumbled.

"MATTHEW!" Screamed Alfred as he glomped Matthew. Since when was Alfred in the room? "Matthew... I thought you might have... Dude it's been a month! A FUCKING MONTH! Where have you been?"

Matthew thought for a second. It seemed best to leave Alfred in the dark about what had actually happened. "I can't remember." He said. "The last thing I remember is walking through the park."

Alfred sighed. "Well maybe that' for the best. I mean I probably wouldn't want to remember anything that happened if I were you."

The door opened and Kiku walked in with two cups of coffee. "I got you your coffee Alfred. Oh Matthew kun. It's so good to see you awake." He gave Alfred his coffee who happily took it.

Matthew looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "How did I get here?"

"Some hikers found you up in the forest." Said Alfred. "I'm just glad that you're alive."

Matthew sighed. "Thanks Alfred... Would you mind leaving? I'm tired."

Alfred smiled his hero grin and patted Matthew on the head. "Sure bro. I'll visit you later okay?"

When Kiku and Alfred were gone Matthew began to cry. Gilbert was gone, dead, never coming back and it was all his fault. "Gilbert... Why did you do it? How could you? I can't live without you..."

XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX

It had been months since Gilbert had died. But no one seemed to notice. Francis, Antonio and Ludwig were just under the impression that he had just run off in an attempt to stop himself from killing Matthew.

There was an investigation being held about the disappearance of Ivan Braginski that had been closed due to the lack of evidence.

Matthew had sunk into depression. He contemplated killing himself but he couldn't bring himself to do it. After all it had been Gilbert dying wish that he lived. But he considered himself dead. He wakes up, goes to school, does his homework, eats dinner and goes to sleep. He acts like a zombie. Going through life without actually living. When he isn't doing anything he just sits in his room with the lights out holding Kuma and Gillian (The bear Gilbert won for him at the carnival that one time) and thinks about what could have been.

Today was no different. He was sitting in his room with Kuma and Gillian in his lap. 'What would we be doing?' He asked himself. 'If Gilbert was still alive what would we be doing right now?'

The door to his room slowly opened and in walked Alfred. "How are you feeling Matthew?" Matthew shrugged and didn't look at him. Alfred sighed and turned on the light. "It's way too dark in here. You need to let a little light into your life." He drew back the curtains and opened the window letting in the natural light and breeze. "You sure you're going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine." He mumbled. "It's a nice day out isn't it?"

Alfred sighed. "Why don't you come outside for a bit? You haven't been outside in ages."

"I'd rather stay home." Matthew said.

Alfred frowned and walked towards the door. "If you need anything give me a call."

"I will." Said Matthew. When Alfred was gone Matthew closed his eyes and drifted back into sleep. The only place he could see Gilbert again. A place where they could live without regrets. Place where they never bled.

XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX

Matthew sighed contently in Gilbert's warm arms. Everything was right in his world. Gilbert held him close and nuzzled Matthew's soft hair. It just felt so good. The grass that they were sitting on was soft and cool. The pond was crystal clear. The clouds slowly rolled past. And they were sitting under that shade of a tree. It was paradise.

"I'm sorry you died." Whispered Matthew.

Gilbert chuckled. "It's okay Birdie. I would kill myself a million times just to keep you safe."

"I don't feel safe unless I'm with you."

Gilbert pressed gentle kisses onto Matthew's face. "I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

Tears fell from Matthew's eyes. "I'll always forgive you Gilbert. Why would you ask that?"

"Because I wanted to know if you really do forgive me." He said. "I didn't want to assume."

Matthew smiled. "I'll always forgive you Gilbert." Gilbert grinned and pulled Matthew as close to himself as he could. Matthew sighed and closed his eyes. He could hear the soft sounds of a guitar playing in his head. It was soft and beautiful.

XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX

Matthew yawned and sat up. The sound of the guitar filled his room. 'Alfred must be listening to the radio.' It sounded quite nice so Matthew listened to it.

My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive

I'm alive

Matthew could feel tears roll down his face. For some reason the song reminded him a little about Gilbert. Especially the whole I'm alive thing.

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savouring this heart that's healing

Matthew sighed. He couldn't listen to that song anymore. He got up and went to find the radio.

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive
I'm alive

As Matthew walked down the hall to Alfred's room he realized that the music wasn't coming from Alfred' room at all. In fact it was just getting quieter the further away from his room he got. So he went back to his room to try and find the source of the music.

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savouring this heart that's healing

So I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive

He looked around his room but there wasn't a radio or anything in his room. He sighed. "This is ridiculous. Where the hell is it coming from?"

A sudden chirp from the yellow bird of awesomeness made Matthew turn. Gilbird was sitting on the windowsill bouncing and jumping around in an enthusiastic manner.

Matthew walked over to the window to pick up Gilbird but he flew away. Matthew followed the bird with his eyes. He flew high into the air and swooped down to nest in a man's silver hair.

Matthew's jaw dropped. Gilbert was standing on the lawn with a guitar playing the music that he was hearing.

And I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savouring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savouring this heart that's healed

When Gilbert had finished the song he looked up at Matthew. His dazzling ruby red meeting Matthew's lavender. "Can I come in?" He asked.

Matthew didn't answer him. Instead practically ran down the stairs. He couldn't believe that it was Gilbert. He opened the door and tackled Gilbert to the ground. "I... I thought you were dead!" Cried Matthew. "I saw you die... How is this possible?"

Gilbert chuckled and held Matthew close. "Didn't I promise you that I would come back for you? The awesome me always keeps his promises!"

Matthew broke down and cried. "You did didn't you... You came back for me."

Gilbert picked up Matthew and carried him back to his bedroom. When they were both in Matthew's bedroom Gilbert groaned. "Fuck... I left Antonio's guitar outside... I'll get it later..." He sat next to Matthew and sighed. It had felt like forever since he had held Matthew like this.

"How... how are you here?" Whispered Matthew. "Am I dreaming again? If I am I don't want to wake up."

"You aren't dreaming." Said Gilbert. "Now let's see... I am here because I am awesome."

Matthew laughed. He missed Gilbert justifying everything by saying he's awesome. "I know that." He said. "But how?"

Gilbert smirked. "Oh let's see... I shall entitle this tail as um... Gilbert's awesome adventure! It all started when I died... All good stories start at the end right? So anyway..."

XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX

Gilbert sighed. He had no idea where the hell he was. All he really knew was that he wasn't in hell. He sat up and stretched. His body felt so relaxed and calm, like he had just woken up from a nap. He looked down at himself and was surprised to see he was wearing a white robe. Something soft brushed against his arm. He looked to see what it was and his jaw dropped.

"I... I have wings? I HAVE WINGS!" He jumped up and flew around in a circle. "Sweet baby Jesus I have wings! I'm an angel again! I'M A MOTHER FUCKING ANGEL! HA HA HA! Look at me fly! I'M AN ANGEL! Wait a second... shouldn't I be in hell now?"

"Perhaps." Boomed a voice.

Gilbert nearly shit himself. He fell to the ground and bowed. "Sorry I was swearing before. Sorry God." Gilbert may have been a loud mouth but he gave respect where it was due. "Didn't mean too. I'm just shocked that I'm well... here and not there... Can I ask why I'm here?"

"Did you answer the riddle?"


"Then you are here."

"... Thanks for clearing that up..."

"Are you happy you are here?"

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy that I'm not burning in hell."

"But are you happy here?"


"Are you happy Gilbert? You answered the riddle before you died. You have a second chance."

"That' nice..."

"I can give you a choice. You can either become Matthew's Guardian angel again, but never appear to him as a human or you can become human and live with him until you die. Those are your choices."

Gilbert smiled. "Really? I get a choice?"

"Do you believe you get a choice?"

Gilbert sighed. "Answer a question with another question... Well... As much as I'd like to stay an angel... I'd rather stay with Matthew because even heaven is hell without Matthew."

"Is that your final decision?"

"Did Jesus die and rise again after three days?"

XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX

"... Next thing I knew I was in my room." Said Gilbert. "And that's the end of Gilbert's awesome adventure. Pretty cool huh?"

"But... why did it take you so long to come back?" Asked Matthew.

"Time works differently there." Said Gilbert. "One day here can be a minute there... and a million years here and be a second there." He pressed a kiss against Matthew's neck. "I didn't realize I was gone for so long. Sorry." Another kiss. "Can you forgive me?"

"I always will." Said Matthew.

Gilbert grinned and kissed Matthew's lips. Matthew kissed back immediately. How he missed this. Gilbert licked and sucked Matthew's lip. Matthew opened his mouth and Gilbert' tongue dived right in and explored the hot wet cavity. Matthew moaned and wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck deepening the kiss. They pulled away and gasped for air.

Before Matthew could stop him Gilbert had pulled off Matthew's shirt and began to assault his body with kisses and bites. "Gilbert." Moaned the blond. Gilbert chuckled and took off his shirt.

"You know what's really cool Birdie?" Breathed Gilbert. "Those stupid scars are gone." Matthew shook his head and smiled. Gilbert was such an idiot sometimes.

Suddenly the door opened and in walked Alfred with a guitar. "Matthew there was a guitar... I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

"HOLY SHIT!" Screamed Gilbert. He jumped off the bed and tried to run to the door but Alfred blocked his way. "CUT ME SOME SLACK ALFRED!"

"DIE!" Screamed Alfred as he crash tackled Gilbert.

Matthew watched the scene unfold before him and suddenly burst out laughing. Alfred and Gilbert looked at him with shocked faces. "Matthew?" Asked Alfred. "Dude I think we broke his brain..."

"Your fault not mine." Said Gilbert.

"I'm fine." Said Matthew. "It's just... I've missed this." He got off the bed and grabbed Alfred's arm. "Now as for you... today you will not chase Gilbert out of the house screaming bloody murder, you will not chase him with a hockey stick and you will not beat Gilbert to a bloody pulp... Today you will go outside, go to the shops, go for a walk, talk to Kiku or whatever... I don't are. Just as long as you're out of the house."

"But Matthew! He'll defile you! Taint you!" Cried Alfred.

Matthew pushed Alfred out of his room and smiled. "Sorry to tell you Alfred but he already has. See you around seven okay?" He slammed the door in Alfred's face.

Gilbert laughed. "Damn that was awesome. So shall we pick up where we left off?" Matthew smiled and wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck again. This time they could live their lives together without the fear of dying. This time things were doing to be different.

The End

Shinigami-cat: It's all over! Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me through this whole story. I am writing a sequel called Pure Priceless Insanity. Your reviews have made me so happy and encouraged me to continue to write! Thank you all. I will continue to write my stuff and I might even finish some of the stories I discontinued... So thank you all and now... time to give some virtual awards to some people.

The funniest review prize goes to...


'Oh my! I thought Gilbert actually killed him! You scared the black Jesus out of me!'

The most random review I've ever gotten prize goes to...


'Holy crap, I wanna know what's happening shhsthsdfadjvac kvnwajebfkjasndc thatsallicansaytoomuchtoosay'

The most reviews prize goes to...


With a total of 23 reviews

The 69th review prize goes to...


Because I'm just that immature

The review that made me feel most like a moron prize goes to...


'This story is sooo good. The truth was heart breaking and I kind of hate you for making me support the FrUK over USUK. I'm really not a FrUK fan but in this story...

Just a note though, It's 'mein gott' not 'mine'.'

The best reaction when finding out what the answer to the riddle goes to...


'T-that... you killed GILBERT! I am alive... smart, You should've seen my sisters faces when I told them the answer. Gobsmacked.'

And finally the award for someone who threatened me into writing a happy ending prize goes to...

Bow Meister Artemis

'... *cough* Well... You better bring Gilbert back, or I swear... I will come to Australia, and threaten you with that chainsaw of yours until you bring him back. You have 2 chapters to do so. Until then I will watch Doctor Who. And as a parting note, bow ties are cool.'

Once again thank you all! I am forever grateful that you bothered to read my stuff! I love you all! Thank you all so much! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You've all made me so happy! Thank you and fair well! I hope to see you review my other works in the future! Asta la pasta!