Merry: All right. The author has told me that she will stalk me less than any of the other guys. (Even Gimli? Geez.) So I'm doing the disclaimer. *clears throat* NEWSFLASH: The author does not, no matter what she tells you, own Lord of the Rings. She also says there'll be OOCness…
Author: And slashiness, because no mortal can resist making fun of Frodo and Sam, and insanity, and all that good stuff. OH, and I realized I will actually stalk Merry ,so, goodbye!
Elrond: Why I agreed to do this, I don't know. So. Why do you think you're here?
Frodo: Oh, Sam.
Elrond: Exactly! Anyone else?
Legolas: Well, a dwarf beat me in the number of killings for a battle. It mentally destroyed me. And my hair, my poor, poor hair.
Gimli: *tries very hard not to laugh and fails*
Pippin: Well, I dunno about anyone else, but I keep having visions involving Gandalf and Saruman licking fondue off each other's beards. So, tha's why I'm here.
Merry: Really, Pip? Had to share that with everyone else?
Gandalf: I can't tell whether we're the movie people or the book people!
Sam: I'd say, judging by Mr. Frodo's age, we're movie.
Aragorn: Have you ever had a girl with rebellious princess syndrome stalk you? It's not fun.
Eowyn: Well, have you ever had a hobbit fall in love with you? It's not fun either!
Merry: *looks downcast*
Saruman: I was dropped a lot as a child…
Everyone: *clear throats*
Random Uruk-Hai: My skin! It's so… ugly! And people run away in terror when they see me! I'm so… insecure.
Everyone: *stifle laughs*
R.U.H: Hey! That's not nice! *bursts into tears*
Legolas: I just noticed how much my name sounds like Legoland. And I also look like that handsome man from Pirates of the Carribean.
Dumbledore: Whoops. Wrong fandom. *disapparates*
Gandalf: I like him. He seems like me.
Gollum: I briefly interrupt this to say: My preciousssssssss…
Nazgul: Shiiiiire… Bagginssssss…
Nazgul: SHIIIIRE… BAGGINSSSSS!
Everyone except them and R.U.H: *facepalm*
A/N: Please review!