Season Two One shot
The characters aren't mine, but, if they were, they'd be engaged by now. ;-)
"Wait a minute, you dropped Slucky because he called you 'just a pathologist'?" Jane leaned against Maura's kitchen cabinet, sipping her coffee.
"No, that's not what I said." Maura leaned on the island, facing her friend. "I said he was too arrogant for me to ignore him when he was speaking despite how talented he was when he wasn't speaking." She accentuated her point by tapping her spoon on the side of her tea cup and then placing it on the saucer. "There are some things that just can't be excused or ignored."
"Right." Jane finished her coffee and moved to the sink to rinse her cup. "So, it's like I said. You dropped him like a hot potato because he called you 'just a pathologist'." She set the rinsed mug in the dishwasher and turned around. "Not that I'm complaining. He's gross, Maura. I can't believe you ever thought about dating him, and you slept with him." She made little gagging noises.
"That's enough, Jane." With an annoyed expression, Maura continued on, ignoring her friend's eye roll. "Besides, I never said I was seeing him for any romantic reasons. You know, sex…"
"Yeah, I know." Jane began ticking off the reasons. "It makes you feel good, keeps you from getting sick, helps you heal faster… it's better than that granola crap you make me eat for breakfast. I know what you think about sex, Maura. You tell me all the time. I'm just saying that I don't want to think about you and my doctor doing the nasty together." She gave a shiver. "You, it's not so bad. But, thinking about him naked and sweaty and… oh, it's just," she threw hand in front her, closing her eyes, and giving a shake of her head. "I can't. It's too gross for words."
Opting to ignore the nauseated expression, Maura went with distraction. "So, you think of me naked and sweaty in bed?"
"Wait… what?" Jane's eyes flew open, hand quickly dropping to her side. "I… what? What are you talking about?"
"You just said that thinking of Bryon in the throws of passion was disgusting, but it wasn't such a bad thought when you thought of me in the same place, which leads me to wonder if you've thought of that before." Maura quietly picked her teacup up and began drinking her earl grey in small sips, watching Jane over the rim of her cup.
"No, you're not listening to what I'm saying. I'm saying that he's gross and you're not." Jane crossed her arms, giving herself a little nod of approval.
"Meaning you find me attractive?" Maura asked between casual sips of her tea.
"More attractive than Byron." Jane countered, narrowing her eyes.
Maura smirked, setting her teacup down and placing it and the saucer on the cabinet behind her. "Because you'd rather picture me in the nude having sex than a healthy male?"
"Right." Jane gave a definitive nod.
"I see." The doctor's smirk grew slightly as she waited for Jane's brain to catch up with her mouth.
"Finally! Maura, all I'm saying is that… wait," the detective stopped talking as she processed. "That all came out wrong. I mean, you know what I mean. I didn't mean to say that you were attractive like that. I mean you are, but not you're not… But, for the right person you're really pretty." She winced. "Can I borrow a shovel?"
"At this point, you're in China."
"If I bring you back some noodles, can we pretend like I never said anything after saying having sex with Slucky is too gross for words?" Jane gave Maura her best apologetic look.
"No, I don't think so." The doctor pushed off the island to stand in front of the dark hair brunette. "Did you know that Freudian slips are a common response to undue stress on the subconscious mind?"
"No," Jane's voice held the caution her face and body language showed.
Maura nodded. "It's true. We often say things we don't mean to say despite the fact that we do actually mean whatever it is we've said. One theory holds that the reason we do this is to alleviate stress we're placing on ourselves. It's our subconscious mind's way of venting. If we actually say what we mean as opposed to what we don't actually mean, it may allow us a brief respite from whatever internal turmoil or stress we're placing on ourselves."
"That so?" Jane's look had grown skeptical as she looked down at the smaller woman in front of her.
"Yes. So, if you tell me you think I'm attractive, I believe that, somewhere in your mind, you mean that even if you clearly didn't mean to say that. Is that safe to say?"
"Safe? I don't know about safe…"
"And, if you say you'd rather see me nude in bed than Byron, then I can safely say…"
"Maura, I think you need to stop." Jane held a hand up.
"Why, Jane?" Maura stopped her train of thought but not her slow advance. Instead, she leaned in closer, leaving practically no space between them. "Do you really want me to stop?"
"I want you," the detective blinked. "I mean," she shook her head, "I want you to not do that thing you're doing. Maura, what are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious?" The doctor placed a hand on the counter on either side of Jane's waist, effectively pinning the detective.
"Would I be asking if it was obvious?"
"Yes. You do that as a stall tactic." A grin flashed across Maura's face. "I like to watch you interrogate suspects. I noticed you use this tactic to stall for time as you think of your next line of questioning."
"Three Freudian slips, Jane. I'm willing to hypothesize at this point."
Jane began to lean back so she could look Maura in the eyes, but was stopped short by the doctor's lips on hers.
It all happened so quickly. Jane went from shocked to involved in the time it takes most people to blink. Her hands snaked around Maura's body, pulling her closer as she closed her eyes and focused on the new sensations.
She was the first to withdraw, but she kept her hands where they were, keeping Maura pressed against her. "You guessed."
"I hypothesized and then tested my hypothesis." Maura leaned forward, nestling her forehead in the crook of Jane's neck.
"Right, like I said, you guessed." Jane kissed the crown of perfectly styled hair that smelled of vanilla and honey.
"I did not."
"You did, too, but," she gave the doctor a little squeeze, "I'm glad you did."
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