I guess this is like my final thoughts on Miley and Nick...
I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us, how we met and the sparks flew instantly, and people would say they're the lucky ones.
"Sorry…it's not much, I know. I can't really drive anywhere so this is all I can do."
Miley smiled widely and looked down at the little picnic he had set up in his backyard. "Nick, I love it."
"Well after you, miss," he gestured down at the adorable plaid blanket spread on the grass.
She giggled and gingerly sat down and watched as he followed her lead. "What do you have in this lovely picnic basket of yours?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," he said with a smirk.
"Do you really want me to open the basket? Because I will. I'm way past worrying about my polite manners," she said with a laugh.
He pretended to think about it for a split second before complying with what she said. He chuckled as he slowly opened up the basket and slowly pulled out the first item (much to her chagrin).
Her smile grew as he unwrapped mac'n cheese (her favorite food at the time), along with a large basket of fruit. "Does it look good?"
"Very good. How did you know that I liked mac'n cheese? I don't remember telling you…"
Nick blushed; his face turned a dark crimson. "I, uh…kind of asked your mom last week. I hope you don't find that weird."
She giggled, "I think it's sweet. Thank you."
He pulled out plastic cups from the basket. Then he pulled out a liter of soda. "Do you like diet coke?"
"Duh! I love it."
"Okay good." Nick poured it into the two cups and passed one to Miley. Then he held his up for a toast. "To our first date."
Miley smiled softly and repeated what he had said, "To our first date…"
I used to know my place was the spot next to you, now I'm searching the room for an empty seat, cause lately I don't even know what page you're on. Oh a simple complication, miscommunications lead to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls that I can't break through.
She clawed at her dress, ripping it, tearing it, just trying to get it off. The pool of silk fell to the ground and then she went to work on her jewelry. She tread a little more lightly, but still, necklace, earrings, bracelets, they were all off within seconds.
The young woman stumbled to the shower and turned it on high without a second thought. Then she sat herself down on the floor of the shower and sobbed until she could barely breathe. Her mind was numb, all she could feel was sadness all over; hurt was all over.
She didn't know how long she sat there, on the tile floor of the shower, emptying all the tears from her body.
After what seemed like hours, the girl picked herself up off the ground and slowly made her way back to her bedroom wrapped in a soft towel.
She heard a quiet knock on the door and a soft voice say, "Miley…"
"Go away!" she yelled and then threw herself down onto the soft bed. (It was one of those nights where they got to actually sleep in a hotel and not on the tour bus).
"Come on Smiley, let me in," the voice on the other side pleaded.
She groaned and stomped over to the door. Miley opened it forcefully and came face to face with his older brother. "Do I look very smiley to you right now?"
"Not really…" he sighed, "Can I come in?"
"Sure! Come right on in! It's not like this is probably one of the worst nights of my life. It's not like I might just want to be alone be right now," she exclaimed sarcastically backing into her room.
Joe walked over the threshold carefully, "I'm going to take that as a yes…"
She rolled her eyes and fell back onto her bed. Miley could feel the tears coming back; she took some deep breaths, trying to keep them from coming. She didn't need to cry in front of Joe, not today.
"What do you want?"
"I thought that we could talk…Nick told me what happened. I'm so sorry Miles."
"It's not a big deal. So my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. There's obviously…" she took a deep breath, "there's obviously a lot worse things going on in the world. I'll live."
He stepped toward Miley and tentatively wrapped his arms around her small body. She resisted at first, she had spent her whole life depending on someone; whether it was her family, her friends, her…boyfriend. No more of that though, she was tired of being dependent. She couldn't trust anyone but herself.
But eventually, she did. Eventually she was gripping Joe so hard that she never thought she would be able to let go. His shirt was covered in her tears (and probably some other stuff that came from her nose).
"What am I going to do?" she whispered into his shoulder.
He soothed her by rubbing her back softly. "I don't know, Miles. What I do know is that you're going to be okay. I know it. You're fifteen with your whole life ahead of you."
"It doesn't feel like it right now."
How'd we end up this way? See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy, and you're doing your best to avoid me. I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us, of how I was losing my mind when I saw you here, but you held your pride like you should have held me…
"I don't want to go!" she screamed to her mom who was in the living area. I slammed the bedroom door and sat stubbornly on the hotel bed.
"Miley Ray!" she heard being yelled from somewhere outside her door. Then her mom disregarded the obviously closed door and walked right in. "Miley Ray, get dressed now. We're leaving in an hour."
"I'm not going."
"Yes, you are. Its one night Miles."
"It's one night with him mom. I'm not going to go."
"Unfortunately, you do not have a choice. Would you like me to get your father involved in this? I'm sure that he would agree with me."
She gave her mom a defiant look. "I think he might side with me on his one."
"Oh no. Your daddy is a big believer in keeping promises. You promised to be on the show tonight and that's a promise that you're going to keep. You have one hour to be dressed and in the lobby or I'm calling security to drag you there."
With that, she left the room and closed the door behind her leaving Miley on her bed looking as if she would break down at any moment.
Without wanting to, she dressed herself in a simple outfit (and by simple, it was one that would have been acceptable for her to wear at night in New York City in the middle of winter).
An hour later she was surrounded by what seemed like a billion bodyguards and escorted to the stage. Her mom wrapped her arm around her daughter and Miley couldn't help but feel the motherly warmth fill her up. "Are you going to be okay singing with them darlin'?"
"Even if I said no, you would still make me do it."
"I know, and I'm sorry. If I could change this, I would but it was out of my hands. You couldn't just drop out especially because it's a live event."
She sighed and leaned into her mom's chest, "I know. I can't believe I have to sing with him though. I hate my life."
"Watch what you say missy," her mom scolded her. "Girls would kill to have your life. You're reigning in the new year on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve for goodness sake."
"Well I know they wouldn't want this," she said referring to her boy troubles. She watched as the brothers arrived and noticed how the youngest one made a point not to look at her. Joe was waving to her immediately, while Kevin was in his own world.
Miley sighed. She knew that it shouldn't be like this, and the fact that it was made her realized that things would never go back to normal. Almost two years of her life wasted on a boy who broke her heart.
That night, on stage, she stayed near Joe. She had no problem being near Kevin, but on that small stage, Joe stood between her and Nick. And the times when he decided to back up so that he was behind her, she went over to Kevin. The entire time she made sure she was as far away from him as possible.
He never tried to come closer either.
Oh I'm scared to see the ending, why are we pretending this is nothing? I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how. I've never heard silence quite this loud.
Everyone was worried about her. She always seemed depressed; the happy Miley was long gone. In her place was a girl who did nothing but lay in her bed all day and watch sad movies.
If she did go out, she went with a dark ensemble. Usually that included all black clothing with dark make-up or no make-up at all if she didn't care at all. Her hair was dark too (rumors swirled that she dyed it to piss off Nick; he always did like highlights).
She really only talked to two people about it, if you could really even call it talking. She barely opened up, but when she did, at least she had someone to listen.
Mandy and Emily got on well enough, they didn't really know each other but they both dealt with the two different sides of Miley. Emily was the old side; she had known Miley forever, she knew everything about Nick and their situation. She dealt mostly with the crying. Mandy got the new side of Miley. Because their friendship was fairly new, she didn't know the old, smiley Miley very well. She was there when Miley was having one of those days where she was ready to punch a wall…or at least egg a car.
Their roles were put to the test constantly; they new that Miley didn't mean to, but she never stopped with her mood swings.
One afternoon Miley was laying on her carpeted, bedroom floor with Emily, playing solitaire with actual cards. It was one of the only interactive things that she did.
"You know the one thing I could never understand about this whole thing?" Miley asked quietly.
"I gave them their start…I don't mean to bring that up a lot and I'm not saying that they should build a shrine for me or anything, but I gave them a chance. Now they're acting as if I'm useless to them."
"They're getting picked up in it all. In the fame and fortune and all that. They'll come down from it soon," Emily said wisely.
"What if they don't? What if they end up hitting rock bottom?"
Her blond friend sighed, "I know that you're sort of at odds with them right now, but they're really good people. They're being total asses to you right now, but in the long run they are really good people. Once they realize what idiots they're being, they'll thank you for everything that you did for them."
Trying to take her mind off the subject, Emily brought up something different. "What's scheduled for you in the upcoming months? Anything special?"
Miley bit her lip and reached up in her desk drawer and pulled out a small notebook. "I've been writing a lot."
"You've had inspiration?"
"Tons of it. Broken hearts really are the best writing tools it turns out."
"Can I read some?" Emily asked cautiously. Miley looked like she was seriously debating whether or not to just put the book back and have everyone forget that she ever even took it out. Eventually, though, she carefully handed it to her best friend.
She flipped through page after page, reading each song lyric by lyric. By the time she was done, she looked up at Miley with a giant grin on her face. "These are so good Miley."
"Yes! You need to show them to your label right away."
She scoffed, "Yeah, like they really want me singing anything that doesn't require me to wear a blond wig."
Her friend smiled sympathetically, "Just trust me Miles, these songs are amazing. They're telling a story and everyone knows that those sell the best. You're label is going to be thrilled!"
Miley slowly took the notebook back and looked at it as if she was seeing it for the first time. She flipped through the book as if she was seeing something totally new in the songs. "What if I can't put these on an album though? Most of these songs are really personal…I don't know if I want everybody hearing them."
"Can I tell you something?"
"I really think that you're going to feel like a weight has been lifted off of you if you were to turn these into an album. It's the best therapy you can get and you're actually making money off of it."
"Hm. I guess…it could be my breakout album. It could show everyone who I really am away from Disney…"
This is looking like a contest, of who can act like they care less. But I liked it better when you were on my side.
"They're jerks Mi, I thought that you had realized that by now."
"Not all of them are jerks," she mumbled. "One brother is at least better than his two other sucky ones."
"But it's the sucky ones that are making your life hell."
Miley rolled her eyes and continued going through her songs on iTunes. Mandy was making too much sense and she didn't want to hear it. "Can we just not talk about them for two seconds?"
Her best friend threw her hands up in defense. "Don't get mad at me. I'm not the one that you wrote a love/I-hate-you/this-is-making-me-a-lot-money song about aka 7 Things."
She scoffed, "You're making it out to seem way more complicated than it was. It was simply me expressing my feelings about a boy that I've had some issues with in the past."
"And you still have those issues. Don't deny it."
"I'm not denying it, I'm just trying to forget about it; forget about them."
"Do you talk to Demi and Selena at all?" Mandy asked curiously. "Disney seems to really be pushing them to become stars. It's really funny."
She laughed, "I talk to Demi sometimes, she's a lot like me, so we get along really well. It's hard though because she's so close with…them. She's with them a lot, so we can't really hang out."
"And what about Selena?"
"The girl who stabbed me in the back and fucking stole my boyfriend?"
"Yeah, her," she chuckled.
"We're just dandy."
"Sarcasm can be a bitch, Miss Miley."
"So can karma."
"Touché. Maybe you should give her a chance though, you never know, maybe she's a different person once you get to know her."
"Or maybe I can pretend that she doesn't exist. That plan works for me."
"Bitterness doesn't look very good on you; I just thought that I'd let you know."
"I beg to differ. Bitterness has made me millions; everyone loves a bitter ex-girlfriend. Example: 7 Things."
She thought about it for a moment and then nodded her head. "Okay, yeah. But didn't your parents ever tell you that holding anger inside was bad?"
"Yeah, yeah. I've heard it a million times. Do you really think I want to be bitter?"
Mandy just shrugged and went back to whatever she was doing. Miley sighed and turned back to her computer. She had every right to be bitter.
The battle's in your hands now, but I would lay my armor down if you said you'd rather love than fight.
"He hugged me," she said into her phone the moment she walked into her bedroom.
"I saw…" her friend breathed into the phone quietly.
Miley scrunched up her face in confusion. "You don't sound very happy for me. Don't you realize how huge this is? I mean, after months of not speaking to each other, he just hugs me out of the blue."
"Honey…you know that I'm happy for you, I really am, but you have to be careful. Nick has hurt you in the past Miles, do you really want to go down that road again?"
"Demi, its just friendship. I think that if he wanted something more than he would have kissed me or something."
"That's not necessarily Nick's style if you remember correctly. He usually likes to hide his relationships, so the fact that he openly hugged you, on live television, means he probably wants something."
"He probably wants something?"
"He wants to use you again Miley. All the steam that came out of the whole tour and all the drama after that is pretty much gone. He and his brothers need someone right now to get them back on the radar."
She laughed, "Demi, the name Jonas is known throughout millions of households across the country. I doubt they need me."
Miley could hear Demi sigh through the phone. "I seriously think they just need to be in the news. They need the great Miley to basically spice up their lives. Joe told me."
She stayed silent and it took her a few minutes of listening to her best friend's breathing before she decided to talk. "He said that?"
"Yeah. I know Nick would never hurt you intentionally, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need your fame." Miley listened to what Demi was saying and slowly sat down on her bed.
"I just miss them."
"I miss all of them. Everything changed and I feel stupid for wanting it all back, but I wish that nothing had ever changed. That everything had stayed the same."
"You think you want that but you don't. You're so much stronger now. Plus, you have a boyfriend now and new friends and basically a new life. You're doing great if I say so myself."
She giggled, but then she heard her phone beep indicating another call. Miley saw that it was Nick. "Demi…he's on the other line."
Her friend knew exactly who she was talking about. "Miley, don't answer it."
"I have to. We need to talk."
"Make it quick and call me right back."
"You're being too protective."
"That's my job as a best friend. Now remember, make it quick." She hung up letting Miley quickly switch over to Nick.
"Uh, hi. How are you?" he asked nervously.
"I'm fine," I replied curtly. "Why are you calling?"
"I just wanted to talk to you. You know, about what happened earlier."
She sighed, "Why did you hug me? Was it because you actually wanted to or did you figure that you couldn't hug everyone else and not hug me?"
"I wanted to hug you, I swear."
"Okay, then why? I heard from Demi that you guys just need me for my fame, yet again."
He groaned into the receiver, "Maybe…maybe that's what my dad wants, but I just want you in my life again."
"I have a boyfriend."
"I know. He's very…old."
"He is not. He's a much better boyfriend than you ever were, that's for sure."
"I highly doubt that."
"You don't get to decide that. You were a jerk, he isn't. Case closed."
"Justin…that's his name, right? Well anyway, he's just using you for your fame. Isn't he an aspiring singer or whatever?"
"Even though it's absolutely none of your business, he does want to be a singer, but that doesn't mean that he's not a good person. You used me for my fame then dropped me like I was dead weight."
"I have to go. I promised Demi I'd call her right away."
"Do you think that we could maybe talk a little more? Maybe I could call you later or something."
"I don't know Nick…"
"Just let me call you tomorrow. It's a new year, a fresh start."
"You can never truly get a fresh start."
She paused, "I won't promise to answer."
He chuckled, "That's all I need. I'll talk to you tomorrow Miley."
"Bye Nick." Miley hung up and looked down at her cell phone with a soft smile on her face.
It was a new year.
So many things that you wish I knew, but the story of us might be ending soon.
She sighed as she finally got home, into the comfort of her own bedroom. It had been a really long week, or actually a really long month or couple of months. Her parents were divorcing, her best friend was undergoing treatment for emotional problems and she couldn't even be there for her, and she and her boyfriend had broken up.
It was a really wonderful month.
She quickly changed out of her clothes and put on comfortable sweats and a tank top. Miley scrubbed the make-up off of her face and threw her hair up in a messy ponytail. Then she hopped onto her computer and opened a Skype window. His face was on her screen immediately.
"How was your day?" Nick asked her as soon as her face came up.
She shrugged, "Fine, I guess."
"Well you know, the drama is getting to me, but I can deal with it. I am Miley after all, I can do anything."
He smiled, "Yes you can. Have you talked to Demi?"
"No…well a little bit, but not a lot. They won't let me. I just talked to her when she first went in to rehab. But it's okay, how is South America?"
"It's beautiful. I wish you were here, you would love it."
She laughed, "Any cute girls?"
He paused, "Actually…yeah."
Miley sucked in a breath and felt her heart stop for just a second (which was weird because they were apart and had been for a while and she hadn't felt anything for him in a while). "Oh?"
"What's her name?"
"Sarah. You'd love her Miles; she's so sweet and kind. She was visiting in Brazil from the U.S."
"I'll have to meet her sometime."
"Definitely. I asked her to tag along with the tour a little longer, she agreed."
"I'm happy for you Nick, I really am."
"So you're good too?"
She giggled, "I promise. For the first time, I kind of feel like I can grow up, for real this time."
"Good for you. We've really grown up haven't we?"
"Yeah…" I breathed. "Who would have thought that those two thirteen year olds that met each other all those years ago would be here now."
"We've done good Miles."
"That we have..."
Miley sighed; she couldn't talk to him anymore, at least not right now. Maybe later, but not now. They couldn't talk like this, over a computer screen, when they were both in the same room finally, then they would talk.
"I have to go, I'm supposed to watch over Noah. Mom and dad aren't really in a state to do so right now.
"Oh, okay. We'll talk later though, right?"
She nodded slowly, "Sure. Bye Nick."
Then she clicked her computer off and all that was left was a black screen.
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.