*Dramatic Movie Intro with Spy Theme*

Crew99 Productions presents...

In association with SilverXStarlight...

A Naruto Fanfiction...

Juura99 proudly presents...

Agent Duck-Butt.

Disclaimer: Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Plot Idea belongs to Juura99 (Extra credit goes to SilverXStarlight).

Warnings: Language, violence, occasional crack-humour and eventual yaoi. (This disclaimer will last throughout the entire story.)


Scene 1.

A pale raven man narrowed his black eyes as he peered around the corner. He saw two armed guards standing outside a door, talking to each other and laughing while they kept watch. He frowned, and lifted his arm, pulling back the black sleeve of his full body black outfit to glance at the fancy wrist watch. Noting the time, he let his eyes roam up. They landed on a vent, and a smirk curved his pale pink lips. With cat-like agility, he ran at the wall and used his body's momentum to grab the vent door with his nimble fingers; the vent swung open under his weight. He quickly rebalanced himself, twisting and folding his body so he could slide himself up into the vent. As soon as he was in, he pulled the door shut again and waited. Sure enough, the two guards came around the corner, guns drawn.

"I swear I heard something!" the one said, looking around while keeping a steady hold on his firearm.

"Come on, let's go check it out." His companion said and the two continued down the hall, away from the door and the vent.

The black clad raven man smirked again. 'Amateurs.' He thought condescendingly. Once more, with a feline grace, he opened the vent and slipped out, landing on the floor lightly. He quickly ran up to the door, his footsteps barely making a sound with how light he was treading. When he reached the large redwood door, he reached behind into a black satchel and pulled out a strange looking device and pressed it to the door. It stuck on, and quickly he clicked a small switch on the side of the square object. It hissed slightly before the top slid up to reveal a keypad. With great skill and care, the man typed in a code. A small white light appeared while numbers began flashing on the screen.

Once more, the man pulled back his sleeve to take note of the time.

After eight seconds, the white light turned green and the numbers stopped flashing. There was a click, and the man's smirk returned. 'Too easy' he thought snidely. Quickly and smoothly, he closed the contraption and pulled it off the door, slipping it back into his satchel. Standing straight, he cricked his neck and prepared to open the door.


With reflexes shocking to normal men, the man spun around, simultaneously pulling a small needle out of his satchel. With a flick of the wrist, the needle split through the air and struck the returning guard in the neck. The startled man jolted and fell to the floor, convulsing before he stilled, eyes open and mouth foaming slightly.

Another set of footsteps echoed in the hallway as the second guard approached at high speed, and the raven scowled while withdrawing yet another needle.

As soon as he saw a flash of a black suit, the needle was soaring through the air. It hit its target before the man could even say anything to his fallen companion, and he too fell to the floor, jerking violently before becoming eerily still.

The smirk returned.

Turning back to the door, the raven reached into his satchel once more, the other hand pressing on the door.

He closed his eyes, and counted to eight. Then he pushed the door open and stepped inside, pulling out the 9mm pistol equipped with a silencer at the same time.

Moving swiftly, he sidled along the wall, firing repeatedly and striking the men gathered in the room. Guns were being drawn, shouts were beginning to sound.

Panic was starting to set in.

And the smirk just grew wider; more feral.

"Que l'enfer—!.?"


"Où sont les gardes—?"

"Comment il l'a fait—?.!"

Shot after shot after shot and more and more of the men dropped to the floor.

A loud bang echoed from somewhere across the room, and the raven bent back, seeing the bullet slam into the wall behind him, showering the area in splinters of wood and plaster. Less than a second after, he straightened up and fired. The shooter slammed back against the wall, a bullet lodged between his eyes before he slid to the floor.

The raven kept moving, firing at one after another and always hitting his mark. There were more shouts in French, and he frowned. He could tell from both his information and from these men that it was a cover language. The nationality of these men differed from Arabic to English to Japanese and even African.

No wonder he was ordered to kill. Whatever these men had been planning must have been big for including so many different nationalities in the plans.

Another shot and he cart wheeled to the side to avoid it, an expensive vase taking the hit instead. Once he was upright, he spun and the shooter fell to the ground. There were only four men left out of the total thirty that had been.

Running, the raven jumped onto the large conference table, rolled, and came up to a crouch, gun aimed forward. A man with narrow eyes which were gaping in horror was less than a foot away, standing at the end of the table where the raven had just straightened up. The smirk on the pale face was the last thing the man saw before a bullet decorated the area behind with his brains and blood.

Three left.

Side-diving off the table, the raven kicked a chair. It scattered across the floor and struck the tall, long haired man in the knees, sending him off balance and stopping the shot he was about to give. While the man was crouched, the raven skidded over and brought his hand up. With a powerful blow, he struck the man's nose and felt the bone sink back into the skull, piercing so deep the man was dead before he hit the floor.

Two left.

Shots rang out and the raven rolled away as the floor he was on was barraged with bullets.

"Quelqu'un nous a trahis!" one of the men shouted and the raven smirked.

'Someone has betrayed you indeed.' He thought.

He looked around, noting he was behind a large desk. Ducking down, he looked under and saw the feet of the last two targets. Smirking wider, he aimed and shot, hitting one of the men in the foot. A scream of pain sounded, followed by panicked shouts and the raven rose up, spinning around and firing quickly. The last man standing was blown off his feet as two bullets slammed into him, one in his heart and the other in his head. The raven vaguely wondered which bullet had killed him first.

The man writhing on the floor gasped in pain and the raven walked over to him slowly, picking around the fallen bodies. His face was calm as he stepped over a bleeding body until he was looming over the last survivor. The man looked to be American, if he guessed correctly. With a blank face, he leaned over the man who looked up at him with fear-filled, teary eyes. Those eyes widened as they finally saw the man who had taken out thirty armed and dangerous men in under ten minutes.

"Y-you...You're just a kid!" he wheezed.

The raven sighed lightly. "Actually I'm twenty-one." And with a light shrug and another smirk the raven aimed his gun and pulled the trigger, putting the last man out of his misery.

He breathed deeply and pulled his sleeve back, looking at his watch.

"Eight minutes exactly," he noted, a smug smile curving his face before he once more reached into his satchel and pulled out a small radio. Clicking it on, he waited for the static to clear before speaking.

"This is Agent Sharingan," he said. There was a hiss of static before another voice spoke.

"Hello Agent. I take it the mission was a success then?" a falsely cheerful voice said.

"Yes sir."

"Excellent. Now then, please make your super-cool spy exit and we'll mark this off our list."

"...Yes sir."

"Oh and Agent?"


"I'm only twenty-seven. Call me 'sir' once more and I'll tell the old man you were the one who made his grandson pee himself."


"That's better. See you in a few."

The line crackled before the raven switched it off and slipped it back into his satchel. His eyebrows were furrowed with annoyance at the exchange. Sighing slightly, he looked around once more, taking in the damage he'd done.

The smirk returned, filled with pride at a job well done, and he sauntered over to the large window. Easing it open, he looked out at the fifty floors below him, and his smirk turned into a cocky grin.

'Super-cool spy exit it is then.'

And with that, he let himself gracefully fall out the window, reaching into his satchel and withdrawing a small, strange looking gun. When he had fallen twenty floors, he opened his eyes against the rush of wind, took aim at a familiar black helicopter hovering nearby and fired, watching as the metal claw and subsequent rope shot through the air. It caught the helicopter and tightened, and he went swinging through the air while the helicopter took its cue and began to ascend and fly away, pulling the raven haired agent with it.


His hair swayed as he briskly walked through the white halls of the headquarters, his polished shoes tapping loudly against the marble floors. Other men and woman, ages varying, strode past giving him nothing but a nod or an appreciative glance which he returned with either a tip of the head or a blink of the eyes.

He continued his fast pace until he reached the large, ornate silver doors at the end of the hall. Taking a deep breath and counting to eight, he pushed his way through the doors and entered the room.

Large, burnt sienna coloured walls were bathed in sunlight from the enormous window that formed one entire wall. The dark wood floor was highlighted with strips of white wood, giving one the impression of shooting stars in a dark sky. Book shelves lined the other walls, and tasteful paintings decorated the area as well as a few well placed plants.

A large desk was placed in front of the window, and the light cast the man sitting behind the desk and the man standing next to him into slight shadow. The raven walked up to the desk and stopped, bowing his head slightly in greeting.

"Good day, Mr. Sarutobi." The raven murmured.

There was a deep chuckle before the seated man spoke, his voice aged and wise.

"It's good to see you, Sasuke. I heard your latest mission was a complete success. But then again, I couldn't expect anything less from an Uchiha now could I?"

Sasuke looked up, dark onyx eyes softening slightly as he looked at his employer. A cloud outside rolled over the sun, and he could finally see the old man clearly.

Sarutobi was wearing his usual impeccably white suit and his fingers were laced together in front of him while a pipe was set between his lips. His face was aged and wrinkled, but regal and firm. Greying hair was slicked back over his head, the strands thin and feeble. Standing next to him was his right hand man and one of the greatest agents ever known. His codename was Agent Scarecrow. Spiked white hair was brushed to fall loosely to the side, the spikes perking up and seeming to defy gravity slightly. His left eye was covered by an eye patch while the lower half of his face was covered by a tight fitting black mask that blended perfectly with his black suit. His only visible eye was crinkled in a smile as he observed the younger raven standing before him.

"So, Agent...Did you have fun?" the white haired agent asked. Sasuke sent him a rather withering look.

"Good day, Kakashi," he greeted coldly.

Kakashi chuckled. "No need to be so stiff." His eye turned an interesting shade of grey, and Sasuke found himself feeling nervous. "You'll need to relax before you take on your new mission."

Sasuke straightened, his eyes widening slightly. Another mission so soon? It was unusual for Sarutobi to send out agents repetitively after they've already completed an important mission. Sasuke usually waited for several weeks before he was called in again. If he was being sent straight back into the field, it must have been extremely important.

His blood began to boil in excitement, and his features glowed slightly.

Sarutobi easily saw his young agents' excitement and sighed. "Now you've ruined the surprise," he scolded the man next to him. Kakashi laughed.

"Oh have I? I don't know, our little agent seemed pretty surprised to me."

Kakashi received two withering looks for that.

"Mr. Sarutobi...What is this new mission? It must be important," he asked, hoping he didn't sound as eager as he felt. Sarutobi sighed and rubbed his temples before looking Sasuke straight in the eyes.

"Yes Sasuke, this new mission is of vital importance. In fact...it might hold the fate of the country in its result."

Sasuke's eyes widened and he looked between the two men, seeing Kakashi's serious expression. His heart thudded wildly in his chest as excitement built. A mission of such importance, and they wanted to send him...

It was like a dream come true.

"What is the situation?" he asked, getting into his agent-mode.

"We have received word of a powerful organization that is building up military strength at a rapid pace. Our intelligence suspects this organization to be planning a massive take-over. The people running it are unknown but for the fact that they are of many different nationalities. Much like your last mission. In fact, we are led to believe that the men you eliminated may have been working under the influence of this new organization. Sasuke..." the old man looked up and Sasuke was astounded at the seriousness on that old face. He found his muscles tightening unconsciously. "...We need to confirm what this organization's plans are. And if they are hostile, we need to bring them down swiftly and without mercy."

Sasuke swallowed. Missions like these...they were what most Agents lived for. The missions where the world as they knew it was at stake. Sasuke knew that when it came to this mission, failure was not an option.

"I understand sir."

"Sasuke...you realize this mission will be like nothing you've ever taken before. I know that you're talented, and have handled many high level missions. But these people are smart, cunning and secretive and they cover their tracks with such efficiency we were lucky to have even caught the slightest wind of what they were doing." Kakashi put in, his voice stern and strong.

Sasuke nodded. "This mission will require a lot of time and resources," he said slowly, thinking of the best way he could monopolize his time and contacts.

Here, the two older men shared a rather apprehensive glace, making Sasuke look up curiously. "Sir?"

Sarutobi sighed heavily. "Sasuke...as much as I know you are capable...I've decided that you'll need help on this mission," he said, and waited for it.


Kakashi looked to the ceiling, feeling the way the room seemed to turn ten degrees colder. He knew that the young Uchiha was a solo artist, a lone wolf. He never worked with anyone else, as he believe they just got in his way, and more often than not he was right. Sarutobi had stopped giving the lad partners very soon after Uchiha had joined the Agency. Sasuke's efficiency rate was higher that way.

However, considering the nature of this mission and the urgency, they knew they couldn't let Sasuke go on his own. Although they knew he would be able to do the mission, the risks were higher, his safety was almost guaranteed to be zero and he wouldn't be able to function for long without the need of sleeping or eating and that would slow him down. Having a partner would double the speed by sharing the workload.

"Sasuke, I understand how you feel but this isn't up for discussion. You'll need a partner or two on this mission."

"Or two?" Had Sasuke's voice just cracked? Kakashi wondered.

"Yes, Sasuke. Possibly more if things take a turn for the worse. You don't have to worry. The agent I have chosen is highly qualified and a prodigy in his own right. I think that the two of you will be able to do this mission together splendidly." Sarutobi said.

Sasuke clenched his fists. "Sir, may I ask who this agent is?"

"He's from an allying agency, so you've never met him. However, he is going to be meeting us in a few moments. From what I've heard from his superiors, his success rate is almost as high as yours if not on par."

Sasuke breathed through his nose. He knew that no matter how much he protested, Sarutobi had made up his mind. He would have to work with another agent, and as much as it bugged him, he knew he had to do it.

He just hoped that the other agent wouldn't be a complete idiot.

There was a sharp rap at the door, and Sarutobi straightened. "It seems he has arrived. Come in!" Sarutobi called.

Sasuke turned his head slightly to watch as the door was slowly pushed open. He felt his stomach twisting nervously as he waited for his 'partner' to appear.

His eyes widened when a head of shockingly bright yellow hair appeared, followed by tanned skin covered in a bright orange dress shirt and black slacks and the bluest pair of eyes Sasuke had ever seen. Somehow, Sasuke just could not picture this man ever succeeding in an undercover mission. It was hard not to notice him, after all.

"Yo, Old Man! I heard you required my services. So where is this 'partner' of mine..." the young man trailed off, his loud and slightly gruff voice fading as he locked eyes with Sasuke.

The two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity to the other occupants of the room.

Slowly, oh so slowly, the blond man let the door close behind him. Taking a breath, crystalline blue eyes turned to Sarutobi.

"With all due respect, Sir...There is no way in hell I'm working with Agent Duck-Butt over there," he said, jabbing a tan thumb in Sasuke's direction.

Sasuke tensed, his lips twitching down into a scowl as he glared at the blond.

Sarutobi rubbed his temples, muttering a low and despairing 'Oh boy...'

Kakashi smiled to himself. 'This will be an interesting mission.'


...XD How'd ya'll like the first chapter! Remember kids...you CANNOT judge a story by its FIRST CHAPTER. I can pretty much guarantee that the other chapters won't be as...well...serious... as this one. ^_^ The humour has yet to truly come (it comes quite hard next chapter...oh my...) so remember! Keep your eyes out for this (or, ya know, just alert it to take the easy way :P) and the next chapter will be out by next week at the very latest!

Reviews make us all happy! ^_^