Title: Empty Nights
Word Count: 4,975
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong JK Rowling and associated publishers. I make no profit from this endeavour.
Author's Notes (A/N): Thank you to tari_sue for the beta. I have tweaked it since, all mistakes are mine. Written for hd_smoochfest. Title is from Moby's 'Sleep Alone'.
Summary: Draco and Harry have had this 'thing' for months now. It's 'just sex' though, right?
Harry Potter's eyelashes were things of beauty. They fanned his cheeks as he slept, long and dark and Merlin, Draco couldn't look away. He knew he should leave, that Harry would expect him to be gone when he woke up in the morning, like always. Staying all night just wasn't part of the deal, not part of this thing they had going.
Draco allowed himself five more minutes of watching the rise and fall of Harry's chest, of counting the tiny freckles on his nose, of trying not to run his fingers over Harry's collarbone. When his five minutes were up he silently slid off the bed and pulled on his clothes, all the while watching Harry, the toned lines of his body were naked bar a conveniently draped corner of a sheet covering his modesty. Draco didn't think he would ever get enough of Harry – but he'd have to drink his fill now, before his time ran out. This was their final year and they only had three weeks left before they were let loose into the real world when Draco's bubble would burst completely.
Harry would go his way and Draco another.
Only three weeks remaining of watching Harry fall asleep and committing his image to memory. Draco wanted to stop time. When those weeks had passed and they were apart, what would Draco do then?
Somehow, in the middle of all the angry sex and fighting, he'd fallen for Harry, and fallen hard. The thought of never being with him again tore his heart into two. He threw one last longing look behind him at Harry's sleeping form on the bed crept from the room and snuck back to his dorm without any trouble. He climbed into his own cold bed and wished for oblivion.
It never came.
It had started when Harry had owled Draco to meet him at the Leaky a few weeks before the start of their last year at Hogwarts to hand him back his wand. Draco had still been angry that it had beenPotterto save him and his mother from Azkaban, angry that no matter what Draco did, he always came out owing a debt to Potter.
What could have been a perfectly civil exchange had turned into a fistfight resulting in Harry flat on his back beneath Draco. Others had rushed to pull them apart, but that had been the moment everything had changed. Harry's closeness, the feeling of him squirming between Draco's thighs had flipped a switch inside him, and Draco never wanted to go back into the dark again. He'd tried to ignore it, hoping that the feeling, the longing, would go away.
It hadn't gone away, it got worse, and by the fourth week of term, following their fifth detention for fighting, Harry had cornered Draco in an alcove, offering a truce.
Draco had smirked, trying to inch back from Harry as his close proximity made him hard. He needed to get away from the danger zone and… return to his bed for a wank. Instead of allowing Draco to retreat, Harry had kissed him.
That night there was no wanking required, Draco came in his trousers after a couple of minutes of the rough friction of their combined thrusts.
That had been eight months ago and Draco still couldn't say they were sleeping together; the actual sleep part would be a lie. It was just sex to Harry. Nothing more.
Harry had never asked him to stay, and Draco had never offered.
"Oh, bloody hell, Malfoy – do it already!" Harry was impatient, begging Draco to fuck him. Draco was so hard he thought he might pass out. He wanted to take his time, enjoy every inch of Harry's glorious body. He needed that time, because time was running out for them, slowly melting away to nothing. Two weeks.
"Say please," he demanded, tightening his grip on Harry's hands where he held them pinned above his head. "Say, 'please fuck me, Draco'."
Harry's eyes flashed. "Malfoy-"
"I'm never going to say that so – ngh!" Draco gave in, pushover that he was for Harry, and covered Harry's mouth with his own. His fingers, two of which were already buried in Harry's arse, made room for another and Harry hissed in delight, bucking up into Draco, their cocks brushing together and pushing Draco that little bit closer to the edge.
Draco loved being this close to Harry, being inside him. When they were like this there was no one else, nothing else, just them and this feeling of belonging, of burning, of needing to be touching as much of Harry as he could.
"Ride me, Harry," Draco said, the need to watch Harry's face as they fucked overwhelmed his senses. He rolled off Harry and onto his back, and Harry immediately straddled him, his green eyes clouded with lust as he met Draco's eyes before leaning down to kiss him. Draco gasped into the kiss, threading his hands into the mop that Harry called hair, sucking his lower lip between his teeth as his hand closed around Harry's cock and his thumb grazed over the head, teasing the precome from the end and bringing it to his lips to break the kiss. The expression on Harry's face when Draco licked off his come was raw in its intensity.
Harry stretched backwards and with a final practised movement he impaled himself on Draco's cock, his slicked entrance taking all of Draco in. Draco tipped his head back and fought a losing battle against the groan that wanted to be heard. "Merlin, Harry," he managed.
Harry grinned. "Stay still," he said, lifting himself upwards and sinking back down with a satisfied sigh. Draco's hands moved to his hipbones. "I want to do the work."
It was all Draco could do not to thrust upwards, to let Harry take control. The drag of Harry's insides against his cock was almost too much, he knew he wouldn't last long and he wanted Harry to come from his cock alone, untouched. Harry loved that, loved getting fucked so well and so hard that he didn't need his own hand or another on him. Draco loved that they could be so in-tune with one another, loved that it was even possible.
He loved Harry.
Harry covered Draco's hands, still curved around his hips, gripping tightly as he fucked himself down on Draco's prick. Draco, for his part, was mesmerised by the expressions chasing across Harry's face, pleasure, lust, pain; his head tipping back as he increased his pace, his lips parted and a stream of 'DracoDracoDraco' bursting forth as his breathing became more laboured and Draco felt him tighten around him as he came in long white spurts over Draco's abdomen and chest. That was it for Draco, his head tipped back, his eyes closed and his vision blurred white.
Harry collapsed forward onto Draco's chest and Draco's arms moved to hold him there. Harry wiggled and settled his face in Draco's neck. "That was… yeah, good."
'Good' was an understatement. That had been amazing.
Draco stayed longer that night than he had ever before; it was almost dawn before he could bear to leave Harry's side. Two weeks. When he'd drunk his fill of Harry, and pressed a farewell kiss to his brow, Draco couldn't face returning to his own bed. He found a quiet spot by the lake and watched the sunrise, the beauty of it doing absolutely nothing for him, such was his increasing despair.
He'd already decided that next time he hooked up with Harry would be the last time. With just two weeks left, the thought of the final goodbye was too much for Draco to stand. If he did it first, if he broke things off, such that they were, then it was in his control. He wasn't going to be waiting for Harry to do it, waiting for the axe to fall. Malfoys did not hand over the controls to anyone, and Draco wasn't about to break that rule.
Draco dropped his head to his knees and squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think about leaving Hogwarts and the future. Harry had been accepted in the Auror program, as had Weasley. Draco was still waiting to hear about his application to the Unspeakables. Being a son of a Death Eater and a former one himself, however reluctant, did not pave his path into the Ministry in the same manner it did for members of the Order; Harry in particular.
He didn't like the idea of Harry becoming an Auror – it was a dangerous job and Harry had seen enough danger and life threatening situations in his lifetime as it was. The thought of something happening to him now – Draco couldn't stay with Harry, but he did want him to be safe and happy.
Draco cut off his musing when he heard footsteps approach. A voice said, "Merlin!" as they caught sight of Draco and he sighed and raised his head. Oh fucking great.
Ron Weasley. "Weasley," Draco greeted, always determined not to be the one throwing punches – the war was over, Draco had grown up.
"Malfoy," said the Gryffindor. "What are you doing out here at this time?"
Draco raised an eyebrow, suspicious at Weasley's almost pleasant tone. "I could ask you the same thing."
Weasley sighed and sat down next to Draco, much to his surprise. "Can't sleep. Contemplating what happens next, you know?"
"Yeah," Draco said, his thoughts were full of nothing but after all. "I heard you got into the Aurors?"
"I did, but it won't be the same now Harry's changed his mind. It was supposed to be the two of us, you know, against the world," he laughed. "I don't know why I'm telling you this, Malfoy. You're the last person who gives a fuck what me or Harry does."
Draco had tuned out. Harry wasn't joining the Aurors? He hadn't said a word! Draco's already bruised heart cracked a little more. "So, what is Potter doing?" He knew he shouldn't be pumping Weasley for this information, but Weasley had offered it first so…
"Says he needs to get away for a while. He's booked a round the world Portkey and he leaves after the end-of-year feast. Lucky bastard," Ron huffed. "I'd go with him but I can't leave 'Mione. Or rather, I won't leave 'Mione."
Draco stared out across the lake, trying desperately not to well up in front of Weasley. Despite this resolve to end it with Harry, his hope had always been that Harry would refuse to end their relationship. All of his hope had just died. The part of him that thought if he was working at the Ministry and Harry was there too then maybe this – whatever this was – wouldn't have to end. He was fucking delusional; Harry was off on his travels, and he hadn't even mentioned it to Draco! Clearly Draco did not feature in Harry's future plans.
"Much as I'd love to stay and chat," Draco said, getting to his feet and looking down at Weasley. "I have to be somewhere. Um, thank you."
"For our first ever civil conversation."
Weasley laughed, "Oh, yeah. Well, don't expect me to be nice all the time; I have a rep to maintain."
Despite his misery, Draco managed a smile, because Weasley had just stolen what should have been his line.
Draco started by not meeting Harry for their regular Saturday night hook-up; the one that directly followed their Friday night hook up. Hell, they met most nights these days. Let the bastard wonder where he was. Draco was through with the whole fucking charade. If Harry couldn't even have the courtesy to tell Draco that he was leaving the country in less than two weeks then Draco wasn't going to bother telling him that he didn't want to meet up.
Harry would seek him out eventually, and when he did, Draco would inform him that their dalliance was history.
The following day at breakfast, Draco pointedly looked anywhere but at Harry and could feel his burning stare from the Gryffindor table. It was torture resisting to the urge just to look even once, but Draco managed it, making sure he was seemingly enjoying the exceedingly dull conversation Blaise and Pansy were trying to lure him into – something about Apparition licences.
He went to class and made sure he was with other people all day, giving Harry no chance to corner him alone as he was wont to do – though often it was Draco cornering Harry – this thing was over.
Draco did not go to their usual meeting place that night, but he couldn't face his own lonely bed either. How the hell Harry found him on the Owlery stairs Draco would never know, but find him he did.
"What's going on, Draco?" he demanded without any attempt at preamble. Draco stared at Harry's feet, knowing what his eyes did to him. "Why are you avoiding me all of a sudden? Have I done something wrong?"
Draco shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant as he could muster. His famous Malfoy mask helped and Draco made sure it was firmly in place when he finally raised his head to look up and meet his eyes. "I'm not avoiding you, Potter," he said coldly, noticing Harry flinching at his words and praying his façade held.
Draco followed the path of Harry's Adam's apple as he swallowed; anything to avoid holding Harry's gaze. He didn't want to see the hurt there, because it wasn't real. Harry was fucking leaving and Draco was being left behind. If anyone's eyes should be shimmering with hurt tears it was Draco's.
"You could have fooled me," Harry half whispered. "What's going on? I thought—"
"I don't much care about your thoughts, Potter," Draco interrupted. "All you need to think about is who you're going to get your rocks off with now that I'm done with you."
"Done… Draco?" Harry's brows knitted together and he took a tiny step towards Draco. "Are you breaking up with me?"
"I wouldn't say 'breaking up' exactly," Draco replied, still avoiding Harry's eyes. "You can't break up with someone you were only ever fucking can you?"
Harry flushed. "Only fucking?" He lifted a hand out to Draco before seeming to realise what he was doing and reining himself back in again. He stepped back, almost losing his footing entirely. "Right. Of course. Fucking."
Draco hated seeing Harry look so lost, so hurt but it was too late to back down. This was for the best. Malfoys did not get dumped; they were the ones that did the dumping. Malfoys did not let speccy Gryffindors steal their heart and take it with them to another country whilst said Malfoy was left behind and expected to live out his hollow life without the aforementioned Gryffindor. If this did happen, then the Malfoy in question must ensure that no one ever knew about it.
"I've moved on," Draco lied. Well, sort of lied, because he was trying to move on wasn't he? It couldn't hurt him if Harry already believed that he had. He looked up then, unable to resist, knowing that this might be the last conversation he ever had with Harry, wanting to commit every part of him to memory, but when his eyes found the space where Harry had just been stood, it was empty. Harry had gone.
"What the hell are you playing at, Malfoy?"
Draco, trying desperately to keep himself to himself and minimise his chances of running into Harry, had been hiding in the furthest corner of the library he could reach – not that he'd seen Harry anywhere since their showdown on the stairs, but he wasn't worried – he was probably poring over maps plotting his upcoming trip or something. Draco did not care.
Apparently he hadn't tried hard enough to keep himself hidden though, for now he was faced with very annoyed looking Granger, all flustered and staring him down with her hands on her hips. For a brief moment Draco almost appreciated what Weasley saw in her.
He grabbed his wand off the desk beside him and muttered a quick silencing charm before saying, "I'm not sure what you mean."
Draco was pretty sure he knew what she meant. Harry had told her about them.
"Don't play the innocent, Malfoy. You know perfectly well what I'm referring to. Or should I say who?"
Draco felt himself blush. "What has he said?" he asked, dropping the pretence. He could bluff all he wanted, but Granger had always been able to see right through him.
"Nothing. He's said not one word. He's totally shut down, Malfoy. It's worse than it was in those early days after the end of the war. What did you do? "
"If Harry hasn't told you then you can be sure I won't, Granger," Draco said, gathering his things together and shoving them untidily into his bag, desperate to be away from her. He knew that Harry had had a hard time coping in the early days after the war, they'd talked about it some, Draco had suffered similar symptoms, but he'd thought Harry was doing better now; he disappeared off into his own world far less than he had when they'd first got together.
"Don't you care?" Granger called after him as he pushed past her to make his exit. "Doesn't Harry mean anything to you?"
Draco froze and turned, not even caring in that moment that his eyes had filled with tears. "Of course I care. I know you think I'm just a cold-hearted Death Eater who only cares about himself, and I really don't mind what you think, but don't ever say I never cared about Harry because-" Draco stopped himself. There was no way he was going to cry on Granger's shoulder, no way in hell. "I bet you burst a blood vessel when Harry told you what had been going on."
"You're wrong," she defended. "He's never said a thing, but I'm not blind. He's my best friend. I've seen the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. I know he's not 'in the library' when he doesn't come back before curfew most nights."
Draco had nothing to say to this. What was it she wanted from him?
"I didn't say anything to him because you've made him alive again. In the summer, after the final battle, he was withdrawing into himself. The mind healers were seriously concerned; even Ron and I – even Teddy– couldn't get a much of a response from him. Not until I mentioned that he should buck himself up because he had things to do – such as returning your wand." Granger stopped and pinched her nose. "Forget it, I shouldn't be telling you this. Harry wouldn't appreciate it if he knew I was here." She moved to push past him, but Draco snaked out a hand around her forearm.
Granger stopped, glaring at him, but she did not tell him to remove his hand. He did that of his own accord.
"What did Harry do when you suggested he return my wand?"
Granger sighed. "It was as though I'd flipped a switch inside him. He came to life, almost back to normal as though nothing had happened. When he came back from meeting you; he was his old self again." Granger smiled sadly. "When I started to guess why, I didn't approve, but whilst you were making Harry happy I've kept out of this. Harry stopped being anything close to happy several days ago."
Draco almost wanted to call Granger out for being over dramatic, but something stopped him. The something, the part of him that was so in love with Harry that the thought of him hurting – really hurting – was too much to bear. What was he supposed to do about fixing this though – Harry may be hurting, but he had still been planning on leaving Draco and going off around the world without him, so he was obviously just smarting from Draco getting in and finishing with him first.
"I'm sorry, Granger," he said, turning away. "I cannot help you."
Over the last few days of term, Draco did see Harry, usually with Granger, Weasley or both. Draco convinced himself that Harry didn't look that bad. Okay, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he wasn't smiling, but he was hardly the semi-comatose wreck Granger had painted him to be.
By one day before the end of term and Harry looked terrible.
His haggard face was burnt onto the back of Draco's eyelids, and he was starting to suspect he might never sleep again himself. The bags under his own eyes were starting to rival Harry's. Draco hadn't really slept since he'd broken it off with Harry.
He needed to see Harry. He was tired, he was lonely and his heart ached for him. It didn't have to be like this, they could at least part as friends, which would be so much better than what they were now – which was nothing. Even when they had hated one another, they had never been nothing to one another.
If Harry needed to leave the country and get away from everyone, even if that included Draco, then he had that right. After everything he'd done; he'd pretty much saved everyone's arse. He deserved some happiness and some relief from the spotlight. Draco knew this was the truth; it hurt like fuckery, but if he didn't let Harry go with his blessing, then…
Draco missed Harry. Now that they weren't spending time together he realised just how much they talked to each other. How was he going to feel when they were out of here for good and Harry was over the other side of the world? Not just secreted in the Gryffindor Tower, but in another country. Even when they weren't talking, merely knowing that Harry was close by was a comfort.
He found himself at the Room of Requirement without even realising he'd made the decision to go. This was the night before they left here forever; each house was holding its own party and Draco couldn't face the celebrations. It was a Wednesday night. He and Harry had always met on Wednesdays.
The door to the room opened at his approach, as it did when he'd arrived to meet Harry; the room knew to expect him. His heartbeat picked up speed when he realised that this must mean Harry wasin the room.
Quietly he closed the door behind him and leant back against it to allow himself a moment to work out what was going on inside. The set up was theirs, his and Harry's – a king size bed, a squishy sofa, an old cast iron bath with clawed feet that would walk to wherever it was required. It was simple, but it had become their world these last few months together.
There was no sign of Harry. Yet the room was set up, so he surely couldn't be far? The bed looked warm and inviting and Draco was so tired. Harry would be back, the room was waiting for him. They could talk then.
Draco threw this robe onto the sofa and kicked off his shoes before peeling back the duvet and sliding under it.
It still smelled like Harry. Draco snuggled down and buried his face in the pillow, thinking he could wait here, that Harry wouldn't be long.
"What are you doing here, Malfoy?"
Harry's voice came out of nowhere, and Draco sat up in surprise, scanning the room for the source, but Harry was nowhere to be seen. He rubbed his eyes and looked again: nothing. "Huh," he mumbled, wondering if he was actually asleep and imaging things.
"I said what are you doing here?" There was a rustling noise by the sofa and Draco watched in amazement as Harry materialised. The invisibility cloak was more than just a rumour after all. It was also one more thing Harry hadn't confided in Draco about.
Harry's eyes looked bruised and hollow and Draco's traitorous heart squeezed and he had to fight the urge to go to him and pull him into his arms.
"Looking for you," Draco answered, pushing aside his resentment at the further evidence that he had never really known Harry at all. "Granger said—"
Harry's eyes flashed. "I can't imagine exactly what she said. Poor damaged little Harry, can't sleep because his nightmares have returned. Eavesdropping again were you, Malfoy? Wanted evidence that you've inflicted the required about of damage on your discarded fucktoy?"
"What? No!" Draco pushed back the covers and levelled himself out of bed. He got to his feet and turned to face Harry head on. "Do you really believe that?"
"'Just fucking' – your words."
"If you're my fucktoy, then I must've been yours. So I don't see what your problem is." Tell him you love him, tell him, tell him, tell him.
Harry flushed and Draco's heart sank. "So what did you overhear?"
"I didn't. Granger came to me, said you were in a bad way."
Harry's flush deepened. "I bet you just loved that."
Draco stepped closer to Harry and dropped to his knees beside the sofa. Malfoys don't beg. Malfoys don't give over control. Malfoys don't wear their hearts on their sleeves. Malfoys don't listen to their hearts and live lonely lives because of it.
Draco didn't want to live like that. He had to put himself out there, because if he didn't, he might never know, and if there was even a slight chance that he and Harry could part on better terms then Draco had to take it.
"If I told you I'm sorry that I ended things the way I did, and that I missed you – what would you say?"
Harry blinked, unshed tears clinging to the ends of his dark lashes. "I'd ask you why you did it, why you said what you said, and I would say that you'd better be damned sorry for what you said."
"The let me tell you I've never regretted anything more," Draco confessed. " I heard you were leaving straight after graduation, and you hadn't said a word, and that even though I knew it would be over for us after we left here, a small part of me was clinging to the hope that if we were both working for the Ministry then maybe— Ungph!"
An arm curled around the back of his neck and Draco was yanked in for a kiss. Harry pulled back almost as quickly as he'd launched himself at Draco. "I was going to ask you to come with me," he said, lowering his eyes and staring at his hands as he twisted them together.
Draco's eyes widened in surprise. "But you didn't ask." Harry stayed silent and Draco's patience did not want to wait. "Harry, why didn't you ask?"
Bright green eyes focussed on Draco then. "I was putting it off until the last minute. I didn't want to lose any of the time we had left if you said no, if we were to go our separate ways after school."
Draco couldn't stop the smile that split his face in two. "You wanted me to go with you?"
Harry shifted closer and unconsciously, Draco slid his hands along Harry's thighs. "Do you still want me to? Even after what I did?"
Harry nodded, his eyes trained on Draco's lips.
"I'd love to," Draco said. "I only want to be where you are."
They both leant in then, lips meeting in a frenzy of need. Draco clambered up onto Harry's lap and ground himself against him. Harry was already hard. "Fuck me," he whispered, pulling away from the lure of Harry's lips long enough to utter the words. In that moment he'd never wanted anything more. "I need you."
"Merlin, yes," Harry whispered and flipped Draco onto his back.
Draco wrapped his legs around Harry's back and pulled him back down for a kiss.
When Draco woke up he was on his back in the bed and Harry was propped up on an elbow watching him intently. Draco felt himself blush.
"You never stayed the night before," he stated and brushed the hair off Draco's face with the back of his hand. "You look so cute when you sleep."
"I wanted to, but you never asked," Draco replied. All that time together and this was their first time actually sleeping together.
Their first time waking up in the same bed. Draco more than liked it.
"I didn't think I needed to. I thought it was obvious I wanted you to." Harry snuggled closer to Draco, his cock brushing against Draco's thigh. "Falling asleep next to you is the only thing that stopped the nightmares. I feel safe with you, being with you feels like home."
Draco sighed, remembering all the nights he'd snuck off before Harry could wake up and find him there, all the mornings he'd woken up lonely back in his own bed. So many empty nights. Harry had never had a real home, and Draco had so nearly fucked this chance up.
He did not want to waste any more time. He rolled, hooking one leg over Harry's, his face only centimetres above Harry's. "I love you, Harry," he confessed. "Wherever you are is my home."
"I love you too." Harry grinned. "Now, where do you want to go first? I hear Florence is lovely in June."
"Wherever you want," Draco said dipped his head to kiss Harry. He didn't care where they went as long as they woke up together every morning just like this.
I hope you enjoyed. Comments are loved! ;-)