Transformers © Hasbro. Not mine.

I really should stop having conversations with Curse. One-shots get spawned.

The Art of Being Polite

It was pure accident that had Jazz in the air vents of the Decepticon base, scouring the brig cells looking for his new spybot-in-training. It was Bumblebee's first solo mission, and quite frankly, Jazz could have picked a better one to send him on. Like a safe recon mission to boost his standing – not a sabotage mission with Soundwave on the base.

His stupid mistake.

Bee's screams drew him to the appropriate cell. He cringed when he saw Soundwave, fingers pressed tightly against Bee's helm as he rifled through the younger mech's processor. Jacking hurt bad enough. There was also the humiliation factor. Jazz himself had been subjected to it once. Never again.

He drew his pistol and took aim. As soon as Soundwave disengaged to review the material he downloaded from Bee, he was dead.

Soundwave calmly lowered his hand, visor powering down. Before he could start the review – before Jazz could pull the trigger – Bee exploded.

"What the fragging pit! Can't you knock first?"

Soundwave's visor flickered. Jazz hesitated. Slowly, the 'Con spoke. "What?"

"Can't you knock next time? It's this thing called being polite – didn't your creators teach you that much when you were a sparkling? You don't just go barging in to anybody's processor – what if I don't want you to come in? That's just rude!"

It was absolutely amazing how indignant Bee could sound while chained to a wall. Jazz had to cover his mouth with one hand to hide the snickers.

"Query: What are you talking about?"

"THIS! You fragging jacked my processor! You could have politely asked for access to my files. I might have said 'sure' and lowered my firewalls. But no! You had to barge in, guns blazing, knocking down all my firewalls – which hurts like the frellin' pit, by the way – and then get offended when I scream and cuss and kick at you! What did you expect me to do – sit here quietly and twiddle my thumbs?"

About that moment, Thundercracker poked his head around the corner. "Did you break him?"

Bee shot him a venomous look. "I am not broke! I am merely pointing out the sheer rudeness of having my processor jacked without my permission!"

Soundwave just stood there, staring helplessly at Bumblebee. Thundercracker calmly edged into the room, grabbed Soundwave's arm, and dragged him back out. "C'mon, Wave – we can deal with the crazy Autobot later. Just let him simmer down now."

Jazz waited until they left before dropping out of the vent and landing in front of Bee. The yellow mech grinned at him. "How'd I do?"

He couldn't help it – Jazz burst out laughing. "I'm just glad I got a recordin' – no one's gonna believe ya pulled this stunt, Bee."


AN: I blame Curse for this. Short, sweet, and to the point – and hopefully you laughed as hard at this as we did. The concept was just hilarious.