Judas: The Betrayer of Jesus
Can you imagine a burden so heavy that you can barely stand? The burden of being the one who betrayed Jesus? Can you imagine having to face the desciples, knowing that you were the cause of Jesus's death? Well, that's exactly how I felt. I couldn't take it. Voices whispered in my ear, telling me terrible things.
You killed the Messiah
Why have you killed the Messiah Judas?
You are terrible person
You should be banished from the earth
Do away with yourself
No one wants to see the betrayer of Jesus
I cried so much it hurt. Jesus had told me that this would happen. He had said that someone out of the twelve disciples would betray him. I never thought it would be me. I hear voices every day. They torture me with their words. They tell me how I am a trader and make me feel worse than I already am.
I pray to God, as if I have the right to. But it seems like he does nothing for me. When did things start to go downhill? When did I decide that I was going to betray the Messiah? The Son of God. The man who tried to help me. He tried to help me and what did I do?
I pushed him away. I took his life. I let him be tortured and spit on. I let him be whipped until blood covered his entire body.
The worst part of this is that I have no one to blame but myself. I did this all on my own. No one forced me to give Jesus away. This was all my fault.
Regret. So much regret. It's a burden.