Disclaimer: I don't own Black Swan, mores the pity :(
A/N I know for a fact that I am off with some of the tenses, but I've been over this a million times and if anything, I'm now more confused than ever, so it can stay as it is for now :)
Our Ballet Company announced they needed a new Swan Queen; it was my dream role, my ultimate goal.
I was innocent and fragile; encapsulating the White Swan down to a t but the Black Swan proved to be a bit of a difficulty.
The Director, Thomas, told me to let go and to lose myself in the dark sensual role and through trying to I began to lose control.
I became convinced Lily was trying to replace me. She turned up one night and persuaded me to go out on the town: I drank, took drugs and had sex with two men, and then back at mine with Lily I did it again.
In the morning I woke alone, and rushing to the studio what did I see? her dancing to my music see I'm right … she's trying to replace me.
'He's made me your alternate' she casually said and seemed surprised when I asked why she left me in bed.
She tells me she went back with one of the men, that means I was on my own the whole time.
She teases me for fantasising about her and having a wet dream.
The only thing I'm sure of is I'm dancing that Swan Queen!
The hallucinations became stronger and more twisted every time. I could feel mother's paintings mocking me and torturing my mind:
"Sweet girl" "sweet girl" they would call; the voices had to stop, so I tore them from the wall.
I pulled a black feather from my skin; if you had looked at my eyes you would have seen them go red, my legs contorted into the shape of a swan's and I fell and banged my head.
When I awoke Mother told me she'd called the Company, told them I was ill and couldn't perform, but I couldn't let them win … I had waited too long.
I fought my way from her clutches and in the Theatre I took to the stage, portraying the White Swan with elegance, beauty and grace.
I entered the dressing room, and found Lily in my costume, ready to take my place in the second act and something inside me just suddenly snapped.
I pushed her into the mirror; it shattered, shards flying everywhere. I picked one up and stabbed her and at that moment I didn't care.
Changing my costume, to the stage I went on, and finally found the inner dark passion in the role of the Black Swan.
After I had finished I received a standing ovation and kissed Thomas for the first time with uncontrolled newfound sensation.
Back in the dressing room, there was a knock at the door; I opened it to reveal Lily standing there full of praise. Confused I lift the towel where the blood would lie, but there's nothing there now the spot is clean and dry.
I realise the fight never happened it was all in my mind, but the mirror is shattered, I look down and find … the shard of glass, it's in me, I've stabbed myself and not Lily.
I take to the stage for the final time, and diving from the cliff, land on the mattress beneath.
The audience clapping and cheering fills the air; the cast look down to see me, covered in blood, lying there.
I lie wounded and maybe dying but it's alright because "I felt it. Perfect. I was perfect,"
For I, Nina Sayers, did dance the Black Swan, it was a role that destroyed me and now I am gone.