Unclaimed Disclaimer

Castle walked down the street, dejected. Apparently, no one owned him. They all claimed they wanted to, but that ABC did. Well, technically, that wasn't true, either. Beacon was a better fit. Their reasons for wanting to own him were mostly shallow and often repeated. His stunning blue eyes, his luscious hair, his rugged handsomeness. Not that he minded anyone noticing those things… he'd be offended if they didn't. But why, oh, why did they all have this overwhelming compulsion to write a disclaimer?

It's fanfic, after all, so everyone reading knows that they're fans, not actual TV writers.

If they did own him, what would they do with him? Keep him standing around, naked, just looking pretty? Maybe wear his Brown Coat and tell stories of how many ways he and Kaylee came up with to give each other the bird? Possibly make fun of Neal? Because he is SO much better than Neal. Show off his ball peen hammer? Bake a pie?

Many of them thanked Andrew for letting them borrow him. Castle's forehead crinkled. Was he a toy to be shared? He loved making people laugh, but he'd grown so much the last 3 seasons, he wasn't just a real bad boy anymore, but was also a real good man. The fanvids proved it. But he really didn't think it appropriate to be thanking Andrew for getting to use him. It made him feel… well, used.

And, seriously, if none of those people thought they owned him, then, why did so many of them have him do such naughty things? Really naughty things.

Rick shoved his hands deep into his pockets, ducking his head against the wind. He took pity on those poor readers who weren't looking for anything dirty, and something dirty snuck up on them. He could see their faces, illuminated by the glow of their computer screens. Just reading along, some fun date scene that all the sudden has him doing something raunchy to Kate… most the time it's things he'd NEVER actually do. Their eyes got as big as saucers, and they tried to skip ahead, but they always read more than they intended. He shook his head. Poor nerds, he thought. They never knew what was coming.

He rolled his eyes and thought of Beckett. If anyone owns me, it would be her.