A/N: Alright so I know I have another Teen Wolf story, and as of right now I'm not sure if I will continue with it or leave it as I did. For now though, I've seen like no Jackson/Lydia anything on this site…I don't know if I'm just missing it or what about I want some! And I want it now! =D Drama Queen I know, but I just love them together and I hate what is happening on the show…stupid Allison, stupid Jackson for trying to get with stupid Allison…as you can tell I'm not taking a liking to the current story line with them so I decided to make my own! So read, enjoy, review…and I think that covers it. =D
Why Can't I be Enough?
The stars were bright, brighter than they had been in months and yet she sat out on the swing by herself. Lydia for once was okay with being alone though, normally she was surrounded by groups and people be it her friends, or Jackson her boyfriend. Tonight though was different, it was almost two in the morning and while everyone she knew was a party at her boyfriend's house she was curled on the wooden swing on her front porch wrapped in a heavy blanket. It wasn't necessarily cold out, but she needed something, anything to block out the pain and the blanket felt like it could do that if only for a little while. Black trails ran down her face as the tears continued coming, it was like she couldn't shut them off.
Before when the wolf had ran past her car she had cried as well, after alone when she was tucked in her bed, the difference than though was that she knew she had people who were there for her, at least as much as they could be. Now though she had no one, no one wanted her. Not an hour beforehand she had caught her boyfriend and her best friend together, well apparently ex to both of those.
It went past heartbreaking, it was shattering; it turned her world upside down. The boy she loved who she had been with for years cheated on her with the one girl she had allowed herself to trust. She let them both in and they tore her to pieces. Resting her head back against the swing she wondered if Scott knew, probably not though he was a sweet guy, he would have told her if he knew anything. Plus he had seemed happy tonight, and if he had known happiness probably wouldn't have been his main emotion.
Hearing the scruff as shoes hit the pavements walking up her driveway she refused to look and see who it was. She really didn't want to deal with people right now, the one boy she needed in her life wanted someone else.
"Lydia! Oh it's so on shorty." She couldn't help but laugh as she ran from him, it was Jackson's fifteenth birthday and he had declared that the only thing he wanted from her was to have a water gun fight. She thought it was ridiculous and childish but he had looked at him with those deep grey eyes and before she knew it she was agreeing and not ten minutes later they were both soaked to the bone.
She ran behind a tree peaking around it to see if she could find her wet boyfriend and instead got a shot of water to her face, losing her water gun she ran away from him and ran straight to the hose that was on the other side of the house. She was thankful that she caught him by surprise and made it there before he caught her.
Turning quickly as she heard him behind her she brought the hose up and laughed as it squirted him straight in the face. She couldn't help but laugh at the stunned look that spread across his face. These were the times that wouldn't trade for anything. She stood there in her four hundred dollar dress that was ruined beyond repair, her makeup and hair ruined but seeing the smile on his face was worth it.
End Flash Back
"Lydia…" The soft voice pulled her out of her memory, and she almost wanted to yell at them until she looked up. Standing in front of her with his grey eyes and signature black jacket was none other than her cheating, lying boyfriend. She wanted to yell and scream, but considering he didn't know that she had seen them it would make her look completely crazy. Deciding maybe it was time to change from being the victim.
"Hey, what are you doing here; the party is still going on." It sickened her to see him right in front of her when not that long ago his tongue had been shoved down that stupid bitch's throat. She didn't want to be angry, she wanted things to be like they use to, when they were happy with each other.
"I didn't see you there, you said you were going to show up and I was starting to get worried." Worried, really… her annoyance with the situation only grew as she heard thing. Yes he was so worried he was swapping spit with her friend.
"I wasn't feeling good. You could have just called or texted. You didn't need to leave the party." Her voice came out steady and nonchalant, and she couldn't have been more proud of herself. Lydia knew that once he left she would be breaking down once again, she wasn't ready to see him so soon after seeing him with her.
"Lydia, just stop with the bullshit. Something is obviously wrong, so just tell me what's going on. Is it your parents? Did something happen? I swear I'll be the shit out of your dad…"
"It wasn't my parents Jackson…please just leave it alone. Ca…Can you please just leave…" Her voice was soft and she winced as she heard it come out, she was supposed to be strong until he left. Yet he was still standing two feet in front of her and she could feel the tears coming. He was looking at her with such concern that all she wanted to do was through her arms around him. She wanted him to make her feel like she was the only girl in the world, but he wasn't hers anymore. Sure they were still 'dating' but he didn't want her anymore, he wanted Allison…everyone wanted Allison.
"I'm not leaving you until I know that you're okay and obviously you aren't okay." Watching as he walked up the porch Lydia prayed he wouldn't touch her. It would only take one touch for her to fall back into his arms and beg him to love her. It was the opposite though when he placed his hand on her cheek, smoothing his thumb on her cheek bone. His eyes were filled with warmth and she just couldn't take it, raising her hand she brought it down sharply taking a small amount of joy in the way his head twisted sharply to the side.
"I'm not okay! I'm not okay; I wonder why…could it be because I saw my boyfriend with another girl? I gave you everything I had, and you threw it away like I meant nothing… Did you ever love me?" The tears were flowing faster now as she stared at him, his face was clouded with shock, but this time it brought her no joy like it did that day on his birthday. "Why am I never enough?" The words were barely audible as they left her mouth, but she knew he heard. He always seemed to hear the things that she wished the most he hadn't.
"Lydia…I'm so so sorr…" His words were cut off by her small hands pushing against his chest. It barely moved him and so she began beating her tiny fist against his chest. She knew it would do nothing but it prevented him from speaking those words that would fully break her.
"Don't you dare say it, you don't get to apologize. You, do you know how much it hurt seeing you with her? It felt like my heart was getting crushed and torn to shreds and I couldn't do a single thing. You can't apologize for that because you aren't sorry. You wanted her. You wanted her and you didn't even care about me." Her fists were coming to a stop as her sobs became louder.
"I don't want her, Lydia I swear I don't. I'll do anything to prove that to you, I want you Lyd, I only want you." Even as he continued to ramble Lydia just collapsed to the ground with his arms around her. She just wasn't strong enough to hold herself up. Letting herself be wrapped in his strong arms she was content to just be held. For a moment it was like they were fifteen again splashing each other with water and just happy in each other's presence.
"Jackson…" watching as he lifted his head, Lydia was surprised to see a small trail of tears running down his face. His eyes begged for forgiveness as sadness settled in his eyes. "Jackson, please don't leave me…" He moved forward until their foreheads rested against each other, placing a chaste kiss on her lips she sighed as he moved back.
"I've never leaving you Lid, I promise. It's you and me, forever. You just aren't enough Lydia…Allison was enough to mask the hole in me, but she could never fix it. You aren't enough Lydia, you are more than I could ever ask for, and I can't survive without you."
A/N: Alright so this was my test drive at a one shot. I really wanted this couple together, and when I started this it was supposed to have chapters and a totally different plot and what not and it didn't work out, but I still really like it. So as I was working on this…while taking breaks and reading lovely reviews for my other Teen Wolf story I've decided I can't end my other story where it is at. So please review, and I'm not too fond of the ending, but I didn't know how to really end it. So feedback is very welcome =D.