Sammie's diary entry.
It's been one year since her death. I still can't say her name without breaking down. We never speak of the two girls we had grown so close to. Where all still so fragile, especially Andy. Sometimes where lucky enough to see a little of the fun, sarcastic Andy we used to know but its never really the same. I guess sometimes I just wish he would one day wake up as happy as ever because, I reckon as soon as he starts healing, we all can as well.
Ashley isn't doing great either. He tries to put on a smile but you can see the pain behind his dull brown eyes, the smile is always just an empty gesture.
They boys went on to tour and took Angelina, Emerald and I as well, leaving Sandra to sort things out with her own band.
I think the tour did them good. There was one song that Andy had written, it didn't have a name but the band played it every night. Its was slow and beautiful and always brought everyone to tears. They all still put on a show for the fans but it was missing something. Some fans noticed. After shows they would ask the guys what was wrong, The guys just but on a brave face, shrugged and told them that everything was fine, It must of hurt them to say that, lying to their fans was something they had always hated. CC seemed to let out all of his anger on the drums, every night I thought he was going to completely smash them up.
We didn't see the drummer for a few months after tour, he just hid away somewhere. We all though he was dead, adding to the list but thankfully he came back and, even though he kept his distance from everyone, I was so relieved. He slowly started talking more and more and he was able to match Ashley's fake smiles.
In the back garden we planted a willow tree in memory of one of the girls and in the front room was a wooden plaque with 'Eternity never ends' carved neatly into it. One night, when we had all gone to bed I had heard talking in the front room and peered around the door to see Andy talking to the plaque as if she could hear him. He said the sweetest things and after about an hour he turned around to go to bed. Our eyes locked and all I could see in his icy blue ones where full of pain and tears. He seems so broken. One time he came from down from his room when I was watching the TV and sat next to me. We started up the longest conversation he's had ever since that night. He really is trying his best to get things back to normal but its just too hard. All the while we re talking he was looking at me with his vivid blue eyes and in the end we just ended up holding each other close and, even though I didn't say anything, I could feel soft tears land on my shoulders.
Jinxx and I had a date for our wedding, the day that the war started. We weren't having a big celebration; we just wanted to get married. After all of this I still loved him. More then anything.
Sandra, Angelina and Emerald are going to be our bridesmaids and Jake is Jinxx's best man. I had asked CC to give me away, I hadn't got a clue where my parents where and CC was the closest to a dad out of all of the guys. A genuine smile flashed his face when I asked him and he picked me up and gave me a bone-crushing hug while whispering thank-you over and over.
Emerald asked how Eternity died. For a while that's all she would ask until one day, when we where all eating lunch in the front room she asked Why did Eternity kill herself? I think we all almost chocked on our food. Andy and CC where quick out of the room. We all looked at the young girl who sat with wide, curious eyes.
"Eternity... she was going through a tough time and made a really bad mistake..." Jake told her in a slow and sad voice. "But it's a very sensitive subject for all of us and you must promise us that you will never bring it up again." He added and gained a nod from the young girl. She whispered a sorry then ran upstairs to apologise to Andy and CC.
Nothing more was said on that subject.
I still don't know much about being a vampire, all I know is the world can't know so, after writing this I have to burn my diary, just encase. Angelina convinced me it was best. I'm going to keep this page though. Its a memory.
I just wish all of the memories where the good ones.