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Note: This chapter and the next are short for a reason


Dead

He died where he stood before the computer.

Then again, he hasn't died.

No. He still lived, but he did't want to live.

According to the computer, he had been standing in that same spot for an entire day. That meant he missed a day of Joonyer Skool, but for the moment he didn't care. All that he thought that he was working for was all a lie and sick entertainment for the leaders of his planet.

The Tallest. The Almighty Tallest. He'd scoff at their "almighty-ness", but he feared that if he moved the slightest bit, he'd become weak and that was something an Irken could not be. Even defective Irkens must have a sense of dignity.

No, wait. He lost that years ago, didn't he? He made a fool of himself time after time again in front of the Tallest. If that is so, then why did he still feel as if he must keep from feeling anything?

Then, he heard something scuttle slyly around his base. Gir didn't know how to be quiet, so it must have been that Dib-stink. Yes, his human pig stench wafted about the base. The alien don't know what to do. If he moved, he'd lose himself to emotion, but if he didn't deal with the talking pile of pig-dookie, he'd kill the alien on the spot.

Even after a few years of being on this isolated rock, the Dib-human still wanted to rid the planet of the alien. Perhaps if Dib was caught – caught, not attacked – he'd have to listen to the alien and what he had to say about his new found position. Maybe, just maybe, he'd leave the alien alone and he's finally get the peace he need to sort out his priorities as a banished Defect.

A slight smile slithered over his sharp teeth. Time is exactly what this Irken needed to settle with the idea of banishment. He heard the human breathe his foul breath behind the alien.

"Hello, Zim. It seems that your gnomes aren't working today and all I had to give Gir was a bag of tacos. Didn't your computer warn you that a human was on your land?" The human laughed as if he had already won.

The alien sighed at Dib's inability to see that something was wrong. "Dib-stink." He said with no emotion. "As much as I enjoy having you over, I'm afraid I must ask you to do me a favor."

"Zim is asking a favor of me, a human? OH! This is just perfect. You certainly made my day, Zim." He laughed again. "What is it that you want, alien scum?"

"I want you to listen to me."

"Ahahahaha... I'll never... wait... what?"

The alien's shoulders hunched over after being stiff for a day. "Listen to me, Dib-human."

"Uh... okay, I guess."

Zim turned, finally facing his mortal enemy. He knew that he looked worse for wear, but Zim needed Dib to leave the base and Zim alone after this encounter. "I contacted my leaders yesterday as I do everyday as an Irken soldier is expected to do. I gave them my report about my next plan to take over the rock you call 'home', when they started laughing. At first, I thought they were laughing at my ingenious plan when they told me that I wasn't actually on a mission. They had lied to me just to keep me away from the actual Impending Doom part II. I am what they called me a Defect which is a terrible title to be named in Irken society."

The human rudely scoffed and raised a sleek laser weapon that he carried in. "What is your point of telling me this, Zim?"

"My point, Dib-stink, is that I will no longer be your enemy. I will be just another face you happen to know on this planet. I will be conducting plans no longer, so you can live in peace. Now leave and never come back again. Leave me to rot within the walls of my base. I can not promise anything, but I can say that if and when you see me, I won't be of any problem."

"Does that mean you're giving up?" Zim knew that the human would be ignorant to a point.

"Yes, Dib-dookie. I'm giving up. You won't even see me at the skool anymore. I'll be sending my robot parents a form stating that I'm being homeskooled instead. Good-bye." He turned away and faced the large computer screen. "Computer, please make sure that the human is shown the door. Nicely, if you can manage that."

Of course, Master. The computer replied without sarcasm for once as hose-like metal arms appeared from various nooks and crannies. Come, human child. My Master wishes to be left alone.

The arms began to lead the human out. Zim watched Dib through the reflection of the screen. He looked hesitantly at the arms before turning around and walking toward the elevator. Once he stood on the platform, he looked back at the alien.

"If this is a trick, Zim, I'll kill you."

"Even if this were a trick, Dib-human, I'd welcome death at the moment." Zim said loud enough for Dib to hear before Zim pressed a button on the keyboard to lift the platform before the human could open his retched pie hole. Zim turned on the screen to a camera within the base to make sure that the human would leave. Dib stopped to talk to Gir for a moment, who was hiding in his taco bag.

"What's going on with your Master, Gir?"

Gir's eyes suddenly looked sad. "Oh. My Master is banished from returning to any Irken owned planet or ship. He tolded me that the Tallest don't like him anymore. My Master is so sad. He wants to die, but I tolded him that I'd have no one to give me taquitos cause I LOVE taquitos! Do you have anymore tacos?"

"Ah, no. Sorry." The human said hesitantly. Gir 'awwed'. "Well, I'll be leaving, then. Later."

Zim turned the screen off. Hopefully, he will be alone from the humans now. He slumped in a corner of his base and curled up in a tight ball. Maybe, if he 'sleep' as the humans did, he'd feel better.

Master? The computer asked.

"What is it, computer?" He answered quietly.

What will we do now?

He closed his Irken eyes and sighed. "I don't know. When I do know, I'll tell you. Until then, let me sleep."

Yes, Master.