Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.
I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update Providence. I was busy writing an entry for The Canon Tour called "Monthly Interruptions." I also wrote a lemony one-shot of Alice and Jasper for Providence between chapters 6-7 called "All the King's Horses."
Please review! Your reviews mean so much to me!
*I've received a lot messages about Nessie being too wishy washy in this chapter. I promise there is a reason! Please stick with it for a few chapters and you'll figure out why. :)
CHAPTER 8: PLANS
I didn't know what to make of Nahuel's sudden urge to come visit. The timing did seem a little suspicious. Mom thought so at least. When I told the family that he had decided to come for a visit, the information was met with mixed reviews. Dad seemed to think there was nothing odd about the timing unlike my mother did. Grandpa was mostly just excited at the opportunity to spend more time with another hybrid. He had so many questions for Nahuel. Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett seemed to side more with Mom. Aunt Rose had even gone so far as to say that he wasn't welcome, and that he wasn't allowed to hunt while he was here. Nahuel hadn't adopted our vegetarian lifestyle as I'd hoped. Aunt Rose said that if he wanted to eat, it would be human food or nothing. Aunt Rose liked it here and didn't fancy the idea of someone messing up her or her family's anonymity. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were pretty silent, mainly because Aunt A couldn't see him coming and was upset that her gift was still silent for Nahuel. My clairvoyant aunt never liked to "fly blind" as she called it.
I had no idea how I felt about the impending visit. I was looking forward to seeing him, but the timing did seem a little odd, even to me. I didn't want to tell Jake, but I had a feeling my family wasn't going to give me much choice. Nahuel would be arriving around eleven thirty at night, depending on his mode of transportation from the Vancouver Airport to Prince Rupert, which meant he'd be getting here right around the time when my date with Jake would be over. How fortuitous.
Jake had something planned for me tonight back on the reservation, but he was very vague as to any details. He just said that he thought it might help. Help what? I wasn't sure. He had changed our plans last night when he called to let me know that he was picking me up at noon instead of six, like we'd decided. I was told to dress casual and comfy, and so I was.
I had spent a good forty-five minutes in my closet with Aunt Alice trying to come up with a casual, thrown together, effortlessly chic look. Not as easy as it sounds. We decided on a pair of equestrian style leggings, riding boots, and a tribal knit poncho; I loved how in vogue tribal prints had become. My perfectly coiffed "I just threw my hair into a pony tail" look was just being finished by my fairy godmother when I heard my dad open the door for Jake downstairs.
"Can I have a word with you, Jake?" I heard my father ask.
"Sure, everything okay?"
"Not really. I need to apologize for my behavior the other night. I know you heard everything. You didn't deserve that." He sighed. "You treated her like a princess the whole night. I have a hard time releasing control of things that are important to me. You know that. Nothing is more important than my daughter, and I overreacted. Although I did think the physicality of that night was a bit over the top, I trust my daughter, and I trust you. I know you will always keep her best interests at heart, and so, I'm sorry for turning into a raving lunatic." He trailed off.
"You're a dad. I get it. Trust me; I get how totally awkward this must be for you. It's weird for me too. You know just as well as I do though, Nessie…" he paused and with a whisper, continued, "she belongs with me. You know that."
"Of course I know that, but give her some time to come to that conclusion on her own." My dad sounded so sure.
I wanted to be sick. "She belongs with me?" I belong where ever I darn well want to belong. Aunt Alice tried to stop me, but she knew her attempts were futile. I stomped down the steps and stormed into the living room where they were sitting. Dad sat straight up as if he'd been caught with a bomb at TSA. The guilt on his face said it all. He knew how much what he'd said upset me.
"You're right, I had no right to agree that you belong to him," Dad said using air quotes around the word belong.
"Nessie, I didn't just mean that you belong with me; we belong together. I haven't kept that a secret. You know how I feel about it, but I'm trying to let you figure it out for yourself." Jake stood and walked toward me. "I'm sorry, Ness. I didn't mean it like that."
I grandiosely rolled my eyes with my hands on my hips. "You most certainly meant it Jacob Black, but I'm going to chalk this up to your enormous ego and let it slide. Supposedly, we've got something to go to this afternoon, or something?"
"Yeah, we actually should get going. I'll have her back by midnight at the latest," he said to my father.
"Good luck tonight," Dad told him with a quick man-hug.
"Good luck with what? Dealing with your vexation of a daughter?" I threw at him.
"Well that's not what I was referring to, but now that you mention it, yeah," Dad said with a smirk. "Good luck with my pain in the neck daughter as well."
"I think I got it covered. Thanks," Jake said as he sarcastically raised his eyebrows at me.
Mom and Aunt Alice finally came downstairs to come to my rescue and shooed Jake and me out the door. As we walked away from the house, I heard Aunt A chiding my dad for making the whole thing so awkward. I'd have to remember to thank her later.
I spent most of the run down to the reservation on Wolf Jake's back. As much as I enjoyed running with him, sometimes I just wanted to be carried. It was so chivalrous; it made me feel special. We were met by the pack as soon as we got onto the Quileute land, and all of the wolves began walking at a slow pace. It seemed formal and rather ceremonial as the wolves flanked us on each side in a V formation. Seemingly out of nowhere, Sam's pack showed up, and they all exchanged brief glances before joining the formation. Sam took his place next to Jake at the point of the V. I couldn't have been more confused if they'd all turned into cheetahs.
We finally arrived at the tree line. I still had no idea what we were doing. Jake knelt down for me to dismount, and then nudged me with his large, wet nose to turn away from them as they all phased back to their human form. Silently, and very seriously, a shirtless Jake took my hand, and we continued to walk in the same formation to the middle of the village. It seemed as though the whole tribe had gathered.
"What's going on?" I whispered to Jake.
"Just pay attention, okay?"
We were ushered into a small "town hall" style building with rows upon rows of chairs. Jake escorted me over to Emily who handed him a black t-shirt, and we sat down in the front row on the right side of the isle. She looked excited, and I had no idea why. "Will you please tell me what's going on?"
"That's what everyone keeps saying. Can't you just tell me?" I whispered back.
"Shh, it's about to start," she silently mouthed to me with her index finger to her lip.
The seats were quickly filling. Everyone in the tribe seemed to be present. All but two of the tribe elders sat opposite me in the front seats on the left side. I wondered if Billy would be the one to speak. Almost as if I had Alice's talent, Sue Clearwater instantaneously escorted Billy up the ramp and onto the small stage in front of us.
Even from his chair, Billy looked like a majestic leader on the stage. His voice boomed with authority. "Thank you, everyone, for gathering together this afternoon." He paused to clear his throat. "I appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to be here. I speak on behalf of the elders tonight when I say that we have come to a decision with great consideration. We feel that it is time to usher in a new era of elders for the tribe. We are getting older, and the tribe is growing and changing, and with it, breeds new opportunities.
We have decided to implement a new tribal council. With this new council, we have decided that the Quileute Nation needs to become more of a functioning government, which is why we have also decided that it is time for our tribe to have a chief again. The chief will be the head of the new council, will oversee our court system, will appoint other positions, and will serve as our ambassador to the surrounding tribes and communities." Billy paused again, seemingly to gather himself. "The Elders and I thought long and hard about who this new chief should be. We had a few ways to go about appointing the position. The first and seemingly easiest was by bloodline. Ephraim Black was the last chief and there seemed to be a pretty clear heir to his position. Making this just about blood though would lead us to a monarchy, and we didn't want that. We also took into consideration who would be the best leader, the fairest judge, and the most appropriate ambassador." Billy actually blushed through his wrinkled tan skin. "The good news for us was that all of those qualifications lead us to the same man. The tribal council has decided that my son, Jacob Black, great grandson of Ephraim Black, will be the new chief of the Quileute tribe." Billy was overcome with emotion, chin quivers and all. Jake stepped up to the stage to stand beside his father and bent down to hug him.
Standing next his father, Jake stood taller and prouder than I'd ever seen. "I am honored that this position has been given to me. I love this tribe and everything that we stand for. I accept it with great care and responsibility. I have spent the last few years defending this land, and during that time I have come to know most of you very well, and I just want to let you know how much I appreciate your support and your acceptance. At this time, I would like to appoint the rest of the council. Sam Uley will be second in command and will take my place whenever I am not on the reservation. As most of you know, my imprint is not a member of the tribe and because of this; I will not always be local. I love this tribe and this land, but my imprint will always come first. The elders, along with Sam and I, have spoken at great length about how this will affect my duties, and the good news is that it shouldn't be affected too much because of technology. I will always be reachable by phone and email. The rest of the council will consist of Quil Ateara, Embry Call, Paul…" As Jake continued to speak, I realized that I wasn't even listening anymore. Jake—My Jake—was chief? Wow he looks great up there. So confident. So beautiful. Was this what he wanted me to see? Did he just want to show me that he wasn't just some uneducated kid? I had really not chosen my words well that night. I never meant to make him feel so benign. He really does have perfect lips. Jeez, Nessie, pay attention! "…some new ideas that I think could benefit everyone, but before we get into our regular tribe meeting, I think we should take a short break and resume here in twenty minutes." He sounded so official. I was still in shock that this was all happening.
Jake stepped off the stage and came to my side. "So, what do you think?" He smiled.
"Wow, Chief Jacob!" I grinned. "That's incredible! How long have you known about this?" I asked as he laced his fingers with mine.
"Well it's been in the works for a while, but I just found out for sure yesterday." His posture, the sparkle in his eyes…he looked so proud. So confident.
"So, what is the rest of the meeting going to be about?"
"It's kinda like a business meeting. We'll go through financials, discuss problems and try to solve them, you know, that kind of stuff." He shrugged. "The rest of the meeting should only last about an hour."
The meeting took more like two and a half hours, but by the end, Jake had proposed a new public relations plan to bring in more tourists to First Beach, solved a quarrel between neighbors, and formally made an amendment to their bylaws to state an alliance, not just tolerance of my family. I had never been more proud of Jake. He looked so grown up, so official, and so content. Every now and then during the meeting, he had made eye contact with me and gave me a tiny smirk, almost as if he was saying, "See? I am the man you're looking for. I've got plans for us." Throughout the rest of the night, I started to agree.
Leaning against two large pieces of drift wood, we sat on a blanket at First Beach, eating barbecue chicken from a Tupperware container that Emily had given us.
"So, an alliance huh? I thought most of the tribe was under the impression that werewolves and vampires were myths."
Jake quickly finished the chicken leg he'd been devouring and licked the barbecue sauce from his fingers before he spoke. "After everything that has happened in the past few years, the tribe has been made more aware. There was no need for them to know when the shape-shifting gene was dormant, but now that there is such a large pack, we had to clue them in. Some of them—kinda like Charlie—don't really want to know. But the 'giant wolf' sightings were beginning to run rampant. Most of the tribe knows all about us now—who we are, who's in what pack, and all about the imprinting phenomenon."
"How'd they handle that?" I asked with a laugh.
"It was pretty rough at first, but it explained a lot of people's unanswered questions. Emily was relieved to not be thought of as a home wrecker anymore. The only person who wasn't so happy about it was Quil. He was afraid people would think of him as a pedophile, but people were actually really cool to him about it. The thing is, the packs are respected as the protectors of the tribe. Most of the tribe gives a lot of reverence to the packs, so they pretty much stay out of our business. Not to mention how much easier patrolling has become without all the hassle of trying to be covert on the land we're trying to protect." He draped his large arm around me and pulled me in close to him. His familiar woodsy scent warmed me from the inside out.
"What do they know about my family though?" I asked with concern, thinking of the Volturi as I rested my head on his broad shoulder.
"They know that there was a treaty in place, and that the Cullens didn't come on our land, but obviously things have changed. Carlisle took good care of me after the fight with the newborn army. I think that was a big turning point for a lot of people, especially Billy. I thought it was important to amend the treaty and to formally enter into a new era of cooperation, not only with your family, but other tribes as well. Most of the tribe is aware of my strong allegiance to your family." He paused and pulled me in closer to him. "I had a very in-depth meeting yesterday with the elders to go over the changes that I wanted to propose. One of the things I addressed was our lack of allies in neighboring tribes. Over the years, the Quileutes have gained a reputation as an unfriendly or uncooperative tribe. Some of it dates back to the time of the Spirit Warriors when the neighboring tribes grew scared and threatened by us. We've never done anything to try to repair that damage. After a bit of a heated discussion, the elders finally agreed with me when I named the Cullens as our strongest ally. I felt it was time to formally address the prejudice in the tribe and make it clear that not only is your family not the enemy, but they are our friends," Jake said with conviction seeping through his warm, familiar voice. He was still in Chief mode.
"I'm really proud of you," I told him as I repositioned myself to sit across from him so that I could see his eyes as I spoke. "I have some apologizing to do. I'm so sorry that I underestimated you. I feel so foolish. I should have known you were capable of all this. You've been such a great Alpha; your pack has so much respect for you. I'm sorry I didn't see more of the leader in you." I felt tears welling in my eyes. There was no use fighting them. "I can't convey to you how much I regret saying those things to you."
He abruptly cut me off and took my hands. "Nessie, it's okay. You never really got the opportunity to witness that side of me. I don't fault you for what you said. You had valid concerns. Your feelings are always important to me, and I never want you to feel that you have to hold back from telling me anything. I just needed you to see that I am capable. I needed to show you that I can be what you need," he told me as he wiped tears from my face with his thumb. "I needed you to see that I have the drive and the passion that you were talking about. I just needed you to see," he repeated again, almost in a whisper.
"Jake, I do see. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so sorry for putting you through all this and making you jump through so many hoops. You're everything I could ever want in a mate. I get it now. I see it." I blubbered as I lunged forward at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him with tears still streaming down my face. His arms immediately consumed my body in a reassuring hug letting me know that everything was going to be okay. The tears kept rolling down my face as his lips sweetly started to calm my fears. His hands found my face, and he pulled it from his so he could look me in the eyes.
"I love you so much," he said as tears began to fill his eyes too.
"Jacob, I love you too. I'm so sor—" He brought his hand to my mouth to keep me from apologizing another time. Without a word, and without his eyes leaving mine, he lay down on his side onto the soft sand and held his arms out for me to join him. Words were no longer needed. We'd said all that we needed to say and heard all that we needed to hear.
I intertwined my legs with his as I slowly lay down with my body flush against him. Jake immediately wrapped his arms around me and rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. The heady feeling of my body being supported by his was more than I could handle. I captured his warm lips with mine, more passionately than I ever knew was possible. My head began to spin as his tongue traced the outline of my lower lip. Jake's hands slid down to the seat of my jeans, lingering for a moment, and then with one swift motion, he slid his hands to my thighs and dragged them out to each side of him. My legs found the sand on either side of his hips, leaving me straddled over him in a very compromising way, but I didn't care. He was my mate—my imprint, and I loved him. My Jacob. I moaned his name against his mouth as he slowly rolled me over on my side and then onto my back so that he was hovering over me. His warm brown eyes were full of love as he paused for a moment to look at me.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered in my ear as he slowly lowered his body onto me. I could feel the full length of his erection through his pants and instinctually moved my hips, grinding them into his. He responded with equally eager motions against me. The sensation that tore through me sent sparks from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. He fluttered kisses up my jawline before he started doing unimaginably wonderful things to my ear with his mouth. I never knew ears could be such an erogenous zone, but I couldn't even pay attention to what he was doing anymore. Whatever it was, nibbling, kissing, licking, I had no idea, but it was working. I closed my eyes in pleasure as I slid my hands into is thick hair while he introduced me over and over again to new exhilarating sensations. A heady desire that I couldn't interpret kept building within me. I ached for more of him. I had to have him. His body called for me, and I had to answer. Before I even realized what was happening, I sunk my teeth into his the base of his neck, unable to resist the mind-blowingly sweet call of his blood. He tasted just as I remembered. Exotic, gamey, and…
"Nessie, the phone," Jake whispered in obvious pain. I snapped out of my intoxicatingly orgasmic bloodlust with the sound of his voice.
"Aunt Alice?" I said as I picked up the phone.
"Get up, and come home right now, young lady. What did I tell you about keeping it vertical? You better make sure there isn't even a hint of the scent of his blood on you when you get home. I can hide a lot from your father, but that? I can't hide that." Aunt Alice was livid. She rarely ever spoke to me so sternly.
"Please don't tell my dad," I begged.
"Just get home," she growled.
"Aunt Alice…" I started to apologize, but she'd already hung up the phone.
As I came back down to Earth from the high of the bloodlust, the reality of the situation started to sink in. "Jake! Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay!" He sat next to me, unmoving. "Talk to me, Jake!"
"I was trying to take a minute to clear my head. I'm so sorry Nessie. I let you down. I shouldn't have let things get so physical tonight. I'm really so sorry. Seriously though; I'm fine. I'm practically already healed. You only got a pint or so. I'll be completely replenished in another fifteen minutes. Please don't worry." His words threw me. HowcouldInotworry?
"Jake…I bit you!" My own words horrified me to no end. How had I let this happen?
"Nessie, I'm fine." He took my hand and kissed it, letting me know that his words were sincere.
"You were in pain," I said as sobs rippled through me. "I put you in excruciating pain!" My penchant for self-loathing was beginning to rival my father's as I sunk deeper into despair. "How can you be so cavalier about this?" The tears incessantly streamed down my face; I couldn't wipe them away fast enough.
"Nessie, it's not the first time. It's okay. The pain wasn't that bad…and if I'm honest, there was something kind of sexy about it." He smiled. "You completely freed yourself to experience us. I'm just so sorry that I let it go so far." His voice was soft and calm as he tried to soothe me. His hair was still disheveled from our "encounter," so to speak. It was hard to be too serious when he looked that way—one part silly boyish charm, one part sexy, weak-knee inducing man.
We stopped by a convenience store on the way home to pick up a large bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. My father hated the smell, but he knew that I loved them. It was the perfect cover. Jacob had always been good at covert ops like that.
The closer to home we got, the more nervous I became. I knew I was going to have to tell Jake about Nahuel; I just didn't want to ruin the night even more. Jake was going to be upset, but I had to choice. I had to warn him that Nahuel would be at the house when we arrived. There just seemed to be no good way to tell him. Ripping the band-aid off quickly seemed to be the best approach. "Jake, there's something I didn't tell you," I blurted out as soon as we entered the family's property line.
"Why do I not like the sound of this?" He stopped to face me with his eyebrows pulled together, and his jaw noticeably tensed.
"Yeah, well…It's nothing so don't flip out. Nahuel is coming to visit. Actually he'll probably already be at my parents' place when we get there. Just please be nice, okay?" I said with a smile that he knew was just for show.
"What the f…" he stopped himself, balled his hands into fists and took a few deep breaths before he tried again. "What is he doing here, Nessie?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"He just wanted to visit. It's been so long, and he just thought it was time that we catch up."
"Right," he said snidely as he started walking toward my house with a quickened pace.
Before we could even walk up the driveway, Dad was waiting in the middle of the street. Crapheknows. The anger written all over his face told me that he knew.
"Go home, Jake. You disobey my rules regarding my daughter and you lose the privilege of her company for the time being. Go. Home." My father's voice was cold and stern as he stared down my suitor.
"Edward, I'm sorry. We got caught up in the moment. She's fine and I'm fine…" he trailed off.
"I don't care who is fine; I care how you treat my daughter and our family's boundaries. Go home, Jacob. We'll discuss this later." Dad snarled and took my arm and with more force than usual, spun me to face him. "First of all, are you okay?" he asked staring into my eyes almost as if he were searching for a crimson hue. "I'm a little freaked, but I'm okay. Please relax, Daddy." By the time I turned back around to face Jacob, he was gone. I could faintly hear a few sorrowful howls in the distance from the south as we turned back toward the house.
"Those Doritos smell disgusting, but they're not that powerful," he chided as he put his arm around me.
"I'm terrible at hiding things from you." I kept my head down, staring at my shoes as we walked. There was no way I could look him in the eyes. I knew he was beyond disappointed with me.
"You're torturing yourself enough for the both of us about this. I'm not going to make it any worse. I set those guidelines for your own protection…because I love you." He stopped and waited until I finally looked at him. "I love you so much. I just worry; that's all. Nahuel is here though, so we'll talk more later. He's really looking forward to spending time with you," he told me as he took my hand and headed up the steps to the house.
As soon as we walked through the door, I saw him—tall, dark and handsome—in every way opposite of Jacob. His lean frame was in stark contrast to Jacob's, as was his olive complexion when compared to my Quileute's russet skin tone. Nahuel's face was long and angular with incredibly pronounced cheekbones and an impressively strong jawline. His features were overt and classically handsome in comparison to Jacob's subtle but equally intense beauty.
"Renesmee, it's been too long," Nahuel said warmly as he rose from his spot on the couch to greet me. His familiar teak and leather scent immediately took me back to the first time I met him on the would-be battle field all those years ago.
"You made it," I said with a smile as I closed the gap between us to quickly hug him. He seemed to linger, so I awkwardly pulled out of the hug and came to sit down in the living room next to my mother.
The next hour of small talk was decently painless but utterly boring. I sat fidgeting: crossing and uncrossing my legs, absently twirling a piece of hair, and repositioning myself on the couch. Nahuel and I kept in frequent contact, so I already knew everything going on with him. It was finally Grandpa that noticed my boredom but misconstrued it into thinking I wanted alone time to catch up with Nahuel when really, I just wanted to go up to bed and call Jake.
"Well, I think it's about time we let Nahuel and Renesmee catch up on their own," Grandpa suggested. "Maybe you could give him a tour of the property," he said to me.
"Yeah, great idea. Nahuel, you wanna take a walk?" I could have feigned more enthusiasm, but I wasn't in the mood.
My brain was totally consumed with my horizontal time with Jake…and the taste of his blood. I had perfect recall of the flavor of Jake's blood from when I was a baby. But in the heat of the moment, as a woman, it was a completely different experience. I couldn't get the thought out of my head. Though the taste was divine, I warred with myself over the consequence of my actions. Not only had I caused Jacob physical pain, but I had blatantly disobeyed one of the only hard-and-fast rules that my father had ever set for me. My parents were very clear about their feelings about purity. Intimacy of that degree was something wonderful that was made to be enjoyed—within the context of marriage—not on the beach with your pseudo-werewolf-almost-boyfriend.
The day had been a huge deal for Jacob. He became Chief of his tribe for crying out loud! That is how I show him that I'm proud of him? I drink his blood like the leech I know some of Sam's pack still believes I am?
"You take the lead!" he said as he stood up and gestured with his arm for me to lead the way. His eyes had a sparkle in them that I hadn't seen in a long time. I led him out the door and around the side of the house toward the garage, still deep in thought.
"Okay, spill it. What's wrong?" Nahuel asked as he leaned against the side of the garage.
"I'm just having a really hard night. I don't want to talk about it," I told him as I leaned against the wall next to him.
"Since when can you not tell me things? Who understands you better than me?" Nahuel turned toward me and put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me.
"We can't talk here," I whispered while gesturing back to the house. Nahuel rolled his eyes letting me know he understood what I meant.
"Why don't you show me that cliff you always talk about?" he said at a normal volume so that my family could hear.
"The one that overlooks the water?"
"Yeah, is it close?"
"Close enough. Let's go," I said to him as I turned back toward the house and spoke to my family. "We won't be long. I'm going to show Nahuel the cliff."
"Don't be too long," my father replied from inside the house.
I led the way quickly through the trees and into the forest. I knew the way to my favorite spot so well, I could walk there with my eyes closed. A hike that would have taken a human two hours in the daylight took us fifteen minutes. We were in the clearing in no time.
"Stunning," he said as he took in the view. He sat on the edge of the cliff, letting his feet dangle over the edge. I stood back for a second, taking in the salty sea breeze. "Come sit down and tell me what's wrong."
"Have you ever bit someone…in the heat of the moment?" I whispered as I sat down next to him on the edge of the craggy cliff. I really loved this spot. I was already feeling more relaxed. The sound of the crickets in the forest behind me mixed with the ocean crashing on the rocks below calmed me.
"I'm pretty sure we all have." He chuckled as he leaned back to rest on his elbows. "Lemme guess, the shapeshifter's blood called out to you while things were getting physical?"
"Without getting into details, yeah. While we were kissing. I have no idea what came over me. I don't know how I can forgive myself," I cried to him.
"Forgive yourself? For your instincts? For being who you are? I don't know whether to be more outraged or more sad to hear you say that. Look, your vegetarian family makes you sacrifice enough. Now they have you feeling guilty for your sexual bloodlust? Renesmee, come on. You have to know this is ridiculous. How can you be expected to deny your very nature?"
"Because I could hurt him! Don't you get that?"
"Yes, I do. That's what I mean. I don't understand why you'd want to be with him. He makes no sense for you. You can't turn him like your father turned your mother. What do you expect to happen? He's not like us. He'll never fully grasp what you're dealing with. You have to know that a relationship with a human can't end well. And for all intents and purposes, he's a human, Renesmee. You, on the other hand, are not."
The more I listened to Nahuel, the more sense he made. My family didn't care at all about my wants and needs. They had their own agenda for my life. All of a sudden, everything in my life seemed force fed to me. Did I only love the piano because my dad told me that I should? I had such a passion for playing, but maybe it was just because I had been told to love it. Did I really love fashion, or was I just a mannequin that Aunt Alice wanted to play dress-up with? Then I thought more about Jake. He groomed me like a predator would groom his prey. Slowly and carefully he slipped in to every aspect of my life. No wonder I thought I loved him! He had practically raised me to be his bride! The disgust in my stomach was undeniable. I was a puppet. My family didn't really love me or care about me.They had their own agenda, and I was just another piece of the puzzle.
"I hate that what you're saying is making sense," I sobbed as I threw my head in to my hands. "It seems like you're the only person in my life who has never told me what to do or who to be. You've always encouraged me just to be who I am. Thank you," I whispered to him as I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder.
He tilted his head to rest on top mine. A gesture that felt so reassuring. "Your whole life seems to be about sacrifice, Renesmee. Only drink animals or eat human food. Don't give into your carnal vampire nature. Oh, and on top of it, now they're telling you who you should mate with. Renesmee, are you seeing a pattern here? They are completely manipulating and controlling your life! When was the last time you actually made a decision for yourself? Can you even remember?"
"I…I don't know." The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Had my parents never let me make a single decision on my own? Did they not trust me? All of a sudden, I felt completely pigeon holed. I had been told what to eat, what to wear, what to do, when to do it, and on top of it all, who to marry. They said I had a choice about Jacob, but had I ever really had a choice? It was supposedly a done deal from the day I was born. If that wasn't an archaic arranged marriage, I didn't know what was.
"Renesmee, you deserve more than this. Please tell me you see that." His voice was calm and steady.
"Nahuel? For the first time, I actually think I do. I even had myself convinced today that I loved Jacob. How could I even begin to know what love is? I've never kissed another boy. I've never been out on a date with anyone else."
"They planned it that way, Renesmee." His tenor voice was so clear and convincing.
"I don't know what to do about it now, though," I said with a sigh.
"You need a break. Let's just run. You can come back in a few days with a clear head and a plan for how to live your life on your terms."
"Let's go." As soon as the words escaped my lips, he grabbed my hand and we began to run. I couldn't even pay attention to the direction we took for the tears blinding my vision.
My little granddaughter finally seemed to be getting things sorted out. While going over the blueprints for the addition to Alice and Jasper's house, Alice revealed that Nessie would tell Jacob that she loved him later that evening. My joy at the news couldn't have been any greater. Our girl had come such a long way. Jake was a fine choice for her. Any woman would be lucky to have him. That knowledge can't keep a grandmother from worrying though. Our girl was only the human equivalent of a sixteen year old. Throughout my years, I'd spent a lot of time with teenage girls. Flighty, gullible, and naïve were the three words that could almost always be associated with that female age group. Though on the surface Nessie didn't seem like any of those words, I knew better than to assume that she didn't have any of those traits in her young and hormone filled self. These concerns reared their ugly heads intermittently throughout my days.
Nahuel concerned me more than Carlisle felt was deserved or necessary. The handsome dark-skinned hybrid did not keep a vegetarian diet, and from what I'd heard, had a reputation for being a ladies man. I worried that their constant communication could have an adverse effect on my young and impressionable granddaughter. I had mentioned monitoring her computer time with Nahuel to Edward a while back—a recommendation that was not received well. The fact that Nahuel had shown up at such an opportune time added weight to my fears.
What could his intentions possibly be? Was there any way that they could actually be pure? I had decidedly concluded that there were no facts that pointed to Nahuel's seemingly good intentions. He was on my radar, and I was going to let him know it.
~Please review! It's the only way I know if people are enjoying my story or not. I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear your thoughts! :)
Thank you to everyone who has favorited/alerted my story. I am so glad you are enjoying it! :) xxoo
A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!
NikkiHalen- My character's emotional maestro. Without you, my story would have no depth. I love your comments like: "What did so-and-so think about this?" "describe what it looked like." I love that I teach you new words with every chapter. :)
Jennrosee- My punctuation prodigy! Lady, you rock. Thank you for all of your wonderful support lately. I appreciate you so much. Go read her new story that I am pre-reading called "Searching for Gravity."
Also, a big shout-out to my new friend, awesome author, and magnificent pre-reader, Content1. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ HER STORIES, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR THE NEXT WEEK, TAKE A VACATION FROM WORK IF YOU HAVE TO... AND READ THEM! You will thank me later.