Warnings: Mentions of sex. Under-aged drinking. Cursing. Homosexuality. Un-beta'd. On movie terms, this should be rated PG 13.

Disclaimer: Anything copyrighted in this thing is not mine. That includes "Glee", Jimmy Buffet, "Mean Girls" aaannddd... I think that's all I referenced! Done and over.

A/N: Few references to "Preggers" and "Audition." Finn and Puck are friends at this point. Set in the summer before their junior year. Matt/Kurt or Katt!


Brittany's house was ablaze with lights and sound. She was holding a party exclusively for fellow Glee members to celebrate the end of summer and her recent return home from her "adventure." Her parents were off in India forming elephant orchestras since the beginning of June- right before Brittany found a secret passage into the sewers.

Mike came hoping to have fun with his girlfriend and glee club members. Then Puck came. Then Santana followed. And then Mike volunteered for the spot as the designated driver.

He couldn't deny he was having fun sober. Ke$ha was booming and the mixed teens were a fucked up bag of trail mix. Tina left him for Mercedes to harass Santana and Quinn with their giggles. There were wails and threats mangled into shrieking laughter in the corner they occupied.

Almost everyone were drunk enough to prank call each other and not realize who was at the end of the phone; caller ID be damned. Artie and Mike were the only two left untouched by the intoxication... though Artie's natural behavior around stripping blonds could leave a person questioning.

Even Matt - his best friend since their mothers discovered Myspace - had deliberately taken a few swipes from the spiked punch bowl. Mike prayed his purpose had been liquid courage rather than swallowing sorrows because there the dark skinned teen was, on the dance floor(lighted tiled floors and all; Brittany's parents really supported her hobbies) in the living room, molesting his equally drunk crush.

Mike recalled his pick up line before Matt glued himself onto the other teen: "Why don't we get drunk and screw." Thank you, Jimmy Buffett.

Under normal legal circumstances, Mike couldn't even persuade Matt to talk to the guy with several rounds of DDR and Monster. That boy could be as stubborn as Sue sometimes.

Months before, when Mike invited Matt over to help him practice the Single Ladies routine a few days before the game, Matt came running over from his small white house several blocks over. Panting, skittish and quiet, Matt had ushered Mike back into Mike's room, pausing every few seconds to glance at a dark corner and check out the two windows.

Finally, after two ninja shadow-checks around the area: "I'm pretty sure Hummel's as hot as Hell."

Mike had no idea how to respond properly, his mind specifically ignoring everything but the wording, "Pretty sure?"

"Very convinced so."

"Does this make you bi?"

Matt's jitters froze, "I'm screwed."

Then Matt hid in Mike's closet, not even laughing at the irony as Mike tried to coax him out. And considering the fact that Matt was a huge fan of wordplay meant that the situation should have been handled carefully. Definition of careful may vary. Mike thought he did well considering no one had been injured.

After fifteen minutes of the scared teen's pathetic tactics, Mike rang up Kurt(numbers were exchanged in case any of the "Neanderthals" needed help) and put him on speakerphone. He had feigned a wonderful practice with his friend on the dance steps, completely pimping out Matt's character, except for the final steps which neither of them could remember

Kurt responded kindly enough, maybe even delighted if his airy tone was any indication.

"Hey, Matt." Mike spoke casually and conspiracially into the air near the phone, "I think my mom needs me. Fill in Kurt for me." After placing the phone in front of the closet, Mike took a seat on his bed.

There was shuffling in the closet but no sound of it opening.

"Hello?" Kurt's voice called out confused, "Matt? Mike? Oh, that's funny... M&M, heh."

Mike could faintly hear a muffled laugh but he was positive that no phone had the call quality to pick it up.

"And yet, it's still quiet."

Kurt began to whistle before humming the Tetris theme song before moving on, "Oh, I'd love to be an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I'd truly like to be. 'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, Everyone would be in love with me." Mike had to hold down his own laughter at that.

"Anyone? Yoohoo. Ugh." Impatience becoming more obvious, "I swear to Gaga, if this is some stupid boyish pra-"

The closet door flung open and Matt kneeled on to the ground with his sweaty hands clasped around the phone. "Oh, um, Kurt..." he whispered. His voice getting quieter as he lost confidence. "Sorry. I, uh, I've been saying... stuff?" Matt barely breathed out.

"Matt? How long have you been there? Oh dear, I'm so sorry, I guess I couldn't hear you! Maybe it's my phone, I do live in a basement after all."

Despite Kurt's several attempts of an icebreaker, the rest of the conversation had been plain pathetic. Matt spoke very little and often had to repeat himself for Kurt's sake. Midway through a reminder of how to jut his hips, Matt borderline yelled that his memory finally caught up and hung up.

Matt spent the rest of that night grinning despite his attempts at acting pissed.


So, alcohol being good or bad for dear little Matt Rutherford was still questionable. Mike wondered what Matt would do, if he did anything at all, tomorrow morning when this whole make out session really hit him.

This could be the beautiful start to perhaps the most random couple in Glee.

Mike smiled into his water bottle, switching views from the grind fest his friend was enthusiastically taking part to the Finchel pair screaming their profound love at each other on the karaoke machine.

After watching the couple massacre several 80's songs, Puck began rounding everyone up for a game of "I've Never" but Mike kept his uncontaminated drink close. But as everyone clumsily made their way into a deformed circle, he noticed two people were missing.

"Where's Matt and Kurt?"

"The Siamese twins attached by the tongue and crotch? They left to get it on!" Puck declared leading to cheers, mostly just yelling because Puck was yelling. Kurt lived right across the street so at least they weren't driving under the influence.

"Nah, don't worry, yo. Kurt's too much of a prude to do it, wasted or not." Artie shrugged over the loud chatter. "Or maybe he'll finally loosen up..."

Mike didn't catch the last part. "They looked really into it."

"That jack only happens on tv, man. Besides, shouldn't you be happy for him?"

Before he could retaliate about the devastating difference between television and reality, Puck demanded someone start already.

Mercedes went first with a malicious look on her face, "Never have I ever gotten drunk!"


Mike groaned when he heard his doorbell going off like a fire alarm. He had to drop off five kids last night, or more accurately this morning. Prying directions out of a bunch of wasted and tired people could be compared to walking through Hell in heels.

Fortunately his parents were off in the flea market so they weren't screaming Chinese curses at the door. But unfortunately this meant Mike had to open it if he wanted the noise to stop.

Swinging the door open, he came face to face to the more panicked than hungover person. Matt looked like shit even with sunglasses on and his hands were barely strong enough to hold his head.

"How did you even manage to ring my doorbell? It sounded like my fire alarm was going off."

"I used a stick." Matt sounded breathless and petrified.

Mike carefully pushed him inside and on to a couch, "Are you okay?"

"The only reason I'm even able to stand right now is the ten dollar bill I found in my cup holder. Advil and coffee are godsends. And... oh God, that's funny enough to hurt."

Mike decided to ignore the last part. "Where'd you go last night?"

"Chinese fire drill. Get it?"

"Where did you go last night?"

"Guess." Matt laid down ashamed.

"Why didn't you just sleep till evening in Kurt's house?"

"I-I.. I kinda umm... I guess, slept with him?"

Mike paused. Truly paused, as in "the world literally, abruptly stopped its ballerina act and his body almost fell over" paused.

"Matt, are you serious?" He nods. "Did you actually do it with him? Like "you will get pregnant and die" kinda thing?" He nods again. "Did you leave before even talking to him?" Nods. "Are you planning on running away from this?" Nods. "... Are you stupid?"

Another nod.

He physically forced himself not to wrap his hands around Matt's neck and throttle him."At least call him!"

"I left my phone there."

"You serious? How did you plan to get it back?"

Matt's lips move again only no sound comes out. He naturally becomes mute when under pressure. Mike tilts his head in confusion and a signal to repeat.

"That's why I came here."


"Matt, you're coming inside with me." Asian eyes narrowed as he took charge. Mike has had just about enough. After spending hours listening to Matt bawl, cleaning the snot-ravaged couch, dragging a flailing and muscled teen to the car(using the child lock on the door) and scolding him gently throughout the whole process, Mike will get his way.

The two of them will get together today. One day in the future, they will have a magnificent wedding the size of Rhode Island with Mike as the best man. They will adopt two kids and a dog which he will also look after when the two will inevitably visit Florida's coasts for a romantic weekend; they will pay in gold. And then, Kurt will mention him in a speech when he is awarded a Golden Globe for a some random show he managed to snag a part in.

Mike may not have his life planned farther than graduating high school and twirling Tina in the prom but he has theirs' down to a science.

But it's not going to happen unless Matt stops shaking his head.

"Don't you like Kurt? Don't you want him to not hate you? Does he deserve what you're doing to him right now?" he growled.

"I..." Matt sucked in a huge gulp of air to keep himself from suffocating, "I really like him, I swear I do, maybe even the L word. B-but I can't do this. I can barely even talk..."

"You need to do this. For Kurt." Mike stated with such finality his friend sniffled and rang the doorbell.

Dual groans were heard indoors. "Duuuude, go awaay."

"It's open, dammit..."

The dancers slowly opened the door to see Finn draped over the couch with Puck lying face down on the carpeted floor. Finn took a peak up, 'What're you guys doing here so early?"

"It's four pm."

"What do you want?" Puck growled but it sounded muffled against the ground.

"Checking up on Kurt." Mike answered, his hand wrapped around Matt's wrist to keep him from running.

"Kurt? Why him- Oh! Oh yeah, Matt, I just remembered! I'll cliff note it for you 'cause I might have imagined it. But anyways, you hurt him, I'll kill you. 'Kay?" A "ditto" came right after.

"Noted. Thanks, Finn, Puck."

Matt led the way but stopped at the door.

"What if he's too hung over? What if he doesn't remember? What-what if he-" and he switched to mumbling silently and incoherently.

"Time to find out." Mike threw open the door and shoved Matt through, almost causing him to fall down the stairs. Kurt was already sitting up in bed and flinched at the intrusion. He was shirtless(hopefully not naked under those sheets) and blotchy from crying.

"What the hell do you want?" Kurt hissed icily. Tina may turn into a raving feminist but Kurt managed to make his room feel like a freezer with six words. Perhaps his basement was low enough to be a frozen-over Hell?

Matt stood trembling in stupid silence, unable to reply.

Kurt mockingly tapped his chin, "What? Hmm? Oh, let me guess! You're here for your phone! Of course! You're only back for your phone!"

Mike realised Matt wasn't going to speak for himself so he tried to fill in, "Uh, Kurt-"

"No. I want to speak to Matt." The viper eyes locked back onto his rodent, "Matt, your phone is over there," Kurt pointed to the left of his bed, "and do you want to know why I know it's there? Actually, go on, pick it up." The guy maintained a perfect bitchy, disappointed, condescending, and "Imma-shank-you" tone with every breath. Almost inspiring if it wasn't aimed at his best friend.

Matt shakily walked towards the phone. It laid upside down beside a sock a foot away from the bed. Mike could see every emotion going through the teen from fear to guilt to anxiety and sorrow. When he finally managed to reach his phone with his baby steps, his eyes widened.

"If I remember correctly: eight calls, seven voice messages and thirteen very graphic texts. Your phone is now rated R and not for the good reason. Please reply anytime in any method. Don't be a stranger."

Mike whispered loudly, "Matt, say something."

"I recall already asking that. How about we start simple, hm? Tell me, Matt, how are you this wonderful day? I bet after fucking me and leaving this morning, you had no expectation of returning until you reached into your dingy jean pockets." Kurt ranted as tears began to slide down Matt's face, "And hey, I get it! Everybody does it! But I was hoping maybe I wouldn't be stuck as everybody! Maybe I was hoping I was somebody, just for you."

Matt's lips moved but no sound made it out. Kurt's eyes pricked with unshed tears and his posture signed defeat. Mike didn't know which one was more heart-wrenching to watch.

Kurt hesitated before continuing in a thawed out voice,"Because I've noticed you. You're supposed to be that sweet happy dancer in Glee. The one with the puns and the compliments and the loyalty. The guy who doesn't want the spot light because he's a tad shy; never screws with his friend's girl because he cares; hung around Santana and Brittany because he saw them as people. And last night, I had this idiotic idea that this guy would actually like me back. I thought with intoxicated expectations that it wouldn't end in a "hit it and quit it." case."

This time, Matt managed to make a small noise that sounded suspiciously like words before gasping and reaching a fumbling hand up to wipe a few of many tears.

"Speak up! I can't hear you with all these shattered hopes in my head!" the countertenor snapped, a teardrop finally escaping his Glasz eyes.

"You..." he inhaled noisily, "You aren't..."

"Aren't what? Huh?"

"E-everybody. You were never," Matt swallowed, "everybody."

Kurt's tears fell fast but slower than Matt's climbing confidence.

"You were always somebody. You are somebody. Somebody brave and special and beautiful and-and..." Matt leaned in and chastely kissed Kurt. "I love you."

Kurt sobbed and pulled Matt closer, wiping the tears from his brown face before pressing their lips back together. Matt allowed his body to move with the touch and soon half of his body pressed into the other's.

Mike stood awkwardly at the last of the steps. "Well... I guess I'll go." And promptly left. He could totally use some of those lines on Tina.


A/N: Yeah.. it was kinda rushed, I know, I typed it out in three days so I'm kinda happy about that part. The end was corny and I scarcely hit 3k words, so I lose some and won some there. But I feel like I tried too hard but I don't really care as long as we get another Katt fic out there! This pairing needs some love! This fic will also most definitely have a sequel/sister. It will follow the cannon up to the part that Kurt sings "Blackbird." This will be coming out... some time in the future? lol. Sorry for any mistakes and thank you for reading!