Two of a Kind, yet not Quite the Same
What is this, even? I don't know, reader, I don't.
This is a strange little fic, with weirdness and happiness I don't even know.
It was supposed to be focused on Theon, but that didn't work out. (But I had to throw in some lovely Robb/Theon, cause I can.)
So whatever. Here you go.
"So what do you do for fun around here?" Theon smirked, strolling into Jon's room like he owned it. "Each other?"
Jon groaned into his pillow, hoping it wouldn't be a long night.
He had been ecstatic when Robb came to visit, less so when he saw Theon round the corner just after him. But he threw Sam at the Greyjoy and enjoyed two days with Robb, two days with his almost-brother.
Two days, and Robb had to go take care of some Winterfell emergency. He was a Lord, after all, and that was what Lords did. He had conferred with Theon at the gates, then rode away as Theon walked back. "So," he had asked, smug smile on his face, "Can I sleep in your room now, or do I have to stay with Sam? He snores."
"Why'd you even stay?" Jon asked, regretting that he had been too flustered to refuse.
A slight pause. "Robb asked me to," Theon responded. Jon could hear the shrug that accompanied the answer.
Well, that would explain why Greyjoy had stuck to him like a shadow, watching his every action for the past few days. Once, maybe, Jon would have welcomed it, but not now. Not now, when he knew how Theon felt, when he had finally escaped him.
When they were younger, Theon almost an adult and Jon just a teenager, he had tried to become friends. "We're the same!" He argued. "We're not Starks, we're outcasts! The odd ones out," he plead. He was quite proud of his argument, sure it would work.
But Greyjoy had turned on him furiously, snarling "We are not the same. I am not a bastard, I don't deserve the hate you do. I'm a lord, and, one day, I will crush people like you under my foot." His eyes were full of such anger that Jon had stepped back, scared.
How could I have been such a fool? Jon shook his head, Greyjoy's snores filling the small chamber. Jon had thought, maybe, he had a crush on the older man, that they could be close, but after that day... well, Jon had avoided him. And he instead grew close with Robb, hoping to get back at Theon in that respect.
Greyjoy, clever and manipulative as always, waited until the wine had flowed and the older men had left before repeating his question and dinner the next night. He was greeted with silence.
"We all take an oath," began Sam, trying to break the tension.
Theon rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. 'To take no women and sire no children.' But there's nothing in there about men, is there? And with these long winter nights-" Another silence followed this, more nervous and less hostile than the last.
He took a swig of his wine, seemingly unaware of the effect he was having. "Personally, I think that if I were fighting alongside my lover instead of to protect them, I would fight all the harder." A pause, the Rast was the first to laugh. Excited chatter and relieved admittances began to fill the room.
Theon smiled in satisfaction and turned to speak to the boy next to him, but Jon grabbed his arm. The man looked at him in annoyance, but Jon was too furious to care. How dare he! Was this his revenge, finally, for Jon's crush? "Have you ever even slept with a man?" He hissed. Greyjoy looked at him in surprise. "Of course. No one can resist me," he responded with his normal cockiness, and pulled his arm away. He turned to talk to the boy again while Jon glared at him, eyes narrowed.
I was young, I didn't know any better. He wanted to shout over the noise of the hall. I'm sorry I had a crush on you. He pushed back his bench and stormed out, no one noting his departure.
Stopping and leaning his head against a wall, Jon closed his eyes. He was sorry he had a crush on the Greyjoy, but what could he do about it? He thought it had disappeared after the incident, but it came back stronger than ever. He had never gotten over Theon, and now-! Now Theon was talking with the members of the Watch about his gay lovers, most likely bragging and handing out pointers. The thought of it was too much. Jon went to bed, glad the older man was leaving in the morning.
Greyjoy stumbled in much later, waking Jon from his not-so-restful sleep. But Jon simply turned over, away from the door, refusing to wonder why the man was so late.
"Snow?" Greyjoy whispered, then "Jon?" Jon froze, pretending to be asleep. Theon sighed and sat on his bed. "Do you want to know why I did that? Why I brought the subject up?" Small pause, then he continued. "Because I know. I know, Jon, and it was so hard. But I want you to be happy. Maybe there was a time for us, but now... well, I don't know. You probably hate me. All these kids, though, they really admire you a lot, and that Sam kid, well, he really likes you, yeah?" A small, bitter laugh. "Why do you think I drank so much? Because I didn't want to give you up. I mean, Robb's great, but he's not you. And if I have someone, so should you." By the end, Theon was slurring his words, lending credence to the fact that he drank himself senseless. Jon heard a thump, and Theon's snores, once again, filled the room.
Jon rolled over and faced the ceiling. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.
"Let me walk you to the gate." Jon said the next day as Theon was getting ready to leave. Theon looked at him. "I'm on a horse, Snow," he pointed out incredulously. Jon laughed and grabbed the reins.
Jon walked him out of the gate and into the woods, out of sight to any wall-watchers. He looked up at Theon and waited, still holding onto the reins. After a while, Greyjoy got it. He blushed, and began "Listen, Snow, I had a lot to drink last night, and I-" but Jon just laughed.
Pulling himself up so the two men were level, he said "A lot of the Rangers and more senior Stewards are going out on an expedition next week. Maybe you can visit again then?" He took a breath and, closing his eyes, kissed Theon until he had to pull away, gasping for breath.
He returned to the gate and his friends, chuckling at the expression he had left on the frozen Theon's face.