Disclaimer: I do not own "IT'S MY LIFE!" or Portal 2.


Marissa said anyone could make stuff about "IT'S MY LIFE!" so I made a oneshot based on it.

Also, first fic.

And OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS, SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR "IT'S MY LIFE!" Read that before you read this!

Marissa sighed in joy. Her life was absolutely perfect after she defeated her evil twin/clone. She was happily married and gave birth to her half robot child, Chell.

But for some reason, Wheatley hadn't come home yet. He usually came back at 8:00 PM, after his shift at Quizznos. She suspected he would be home by now, but what could be holding him up?

She had to be patient. Maybe he was just being held up by traffic or something?

A few hours later, the door opened.

"Ello, luv. I'm home" He said. "You wouldn't BELIEVE what happened at work today."

She turned to face him, and looked directly into his optic.

"Darling, where were you? It's been hours!"

His face paled. "O-oh" He stuttered "No it hasn't."

Marissa glared at him, menacingly. "It's been FIVE hours, Wheatley."

"Ah! Right, um…did you do something with your hair? Looks very nice."


"Very pretty. Looks slightly greasy but still VERY gorgeous."


"Also has some split ends but-"


"Yes, luv?"

"Just tell me where you were!"

He looked slightly guilty. "I can't." he whispered.

He headed towards the bedroom and shut himself down for sleep mode.

Marissa decided to follow Wheatley after work, hoping to uncover what he was hiding. She hid in the shadows as he walked towards a house.

'Where in the name of Aperture is he going?' She thought.

She crept towards the house and opened the front door. Marissa tip-toed upstairs and opened the door to the bedroom in the unknown house. But then…


"WHEATLEY YOU SON OF A ROBOT WHORE!" Marissa screeched. "You cheated on me for that nerd, FACT CORE?"

"Light bulbs were invented to breed giant rats." Fact Core stated.

"I'm sorry Marissa" Wheatley cried. "I love him! He makes me feel whole!"

"Pencils are tasty snacks."

Marissa glared at them both. "I don't care!" She screamed.

"How did I fall in love with you?"

She ran away, crying in the night.

Marissa then became a HARDCORE GOTH. She started listening to My Chemical Romance and Texas Is the Reason. But she didn't listen to Averill Levine because only poser preps did that shit!

She was about to put on a shitload of fishnets and corsets, but someone knocked at the door before she got the chance.

It was her sister, Chell!

"Chell! I thought you were dead!"

She didn't reply. She just pinned Marissa to the ground and started kissing her.

"A-ah! Chell, we can't! We're sisters!" Marissa shouted.

Chell bent down and whispered into her ear.

"DURRHURRDERP." She said erotically.

Marissa blushed. Wheatley never said anything like that. Her mentally retarded sister had known exactly what turned her on, and she loved it.

After they were finished, Chell put her arm around Marissa.

"I love you Chell." Marissa confessed. "You're much better that that stupid skank, Wheatley."

Chell smiled at this and stood up, to Marissa's confusion.

"Chell, what are you doing?"

Chell started BOOTY QUAKING, to Marissa's enjoyment.

And then Marissa JIZZED. IN. HER. PANTS.