Savannah let out a shaky breath, her heart beating faster than ever before. She felt at a loss of oxygen, and she was sure that she had lost the ability to swallow. That didn't matter, because her mouth had gone completely dry, and she closed her eyes for a second, suddenly questioning all that had led her here, in this position, her life about to change in a matter of minutes.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
She looked up at her boyfriend, Dan Patch, hovering above her body, his head the only thing emerging from the covers. She gulped, turning her head to the side on the pillow, staring at a lone ugly painting in the hotel room, luminated by the two flickering candles she had lit for "mood." She could have rolled her eyes now at her own sentimentality.
Did she want this? She had thought she did. She was in love with Dan, she had decided for the second time in her life that he was the one she had been waiting for, and she was twenty one years old. It really was time to get this over with.
"Yes." She said tightly, feeling a chill run down her spine in apprehension, "Just give me a second."
She shut her eyes, and said a silent prayer, asking God for either forgiveness or acceptance of this decision, not entirely sure which of the two was the appropriate one to pray for, but hoping it was the later. She wasn't married to this guy, but she loved him, and was commited to him.
"Okay." She opened her eyes and nodded, "Go ahead."
"You're sure Savannah?" Dan had sensed her hesitation the first time he asked the question, "Because we can wait a while if this isn't the right time."
"No." She assured him, "I want this. Just, go easy."
She bit her lower lip and stiffled a whimper as he eased himself into her, feeling her inner walls stretched to their limit, shooting pain through her.
"Are you okay?" He brushed some hair away from her face, kissing her forehead, and waiting on her to adjust before he continued.
She managed a nod, "Just get it over with." She pleaded with him.
He complied, pushing further in, and warned her, "This is the worst part."
She let out a small cry as her virginity was gone for good, feeling it break, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Dan's shoulder, needing something to squeeze. She couldn't take it back now, it was done, she was no longer pure, and she wasn't sure at the moment how she felt about it.
Dan stroked her hair gently, trying to be as comforting as he could, "It's all right. Take all the time you need."
She wasn't ready to continue, but after a couple of minutes of stillness, she began to feel awkward, "You can move now."
He brought his hand underneath the covers, slowly rubbing her as he started to move as slowly as he could inside of her.
She winced in pain for a moment, but was relieved as the pain slowly began to dull, and she focused instead on the pleasure he was bringing her with his hand.
"I love you." She murmured, shutting her eyes, finally beginning to enjoy sex.
When it was over with, he rolled over and stared at her, kissing her bare shoulder, "Are you okay?"
She nodded slowly, and turned her head to face him, "I think so."
The soreness below her abdomen throbbed gently, and she spread her legs apart slightly in an effort to appease it. Savannah Monroe had lost her purity, the final stage of the transition that had begun when she had come to Lancer.
Her pregnant sister, her lying father, her resentful mother. She had watched her once perfect family crumble since she left, and she couldn't help feeling that this was the last piece of the puzzle. She was tarnished like the rest of them now.
Dan wrapped his arms around her lower waist, and affectionately kissed her neck, "I'm glad we did this."
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
"I don't ever want to hear that word come out of your mouth again!" Marti joked, teasing her roomate, who rarely used vulgarity when she spoke.
"Marti!" She yelped in surprise, never having heard her enter their dorm.
"What's going on in there?" Marti pushed open the already ajar bathroom door. She wasn't much for privacy when it came to Savannah. The two lived together and she was pretty sure she'd seen about all there was to see of her roomate already.
"Nothing." Savannah quickly shoved something behind the toilet before Marti entered the room.
Marti glanced around the bathroom suspiciously, "Uh huh. So you're just standing in here cursing for no reason at all?"
"I started my period and just realized I'm out of tampons." Savannah let out a breath and nodded, "I don't really like talking about that kind of stuff with other people. It makes me... queasy."
"Um, okay?" Marti smiled slightly, "Well I've got you covered on the femine products. You're sure there's nothing else going on?"
Savannah pressed her lips together and smiled, shaking her head no.
"All right." Marti walked out of the bathroom for a moment.
She came back in to find Savannah still standing in the same spot, arms crossed while she chewed thoughtfully on her bottom lip, her mind clearly preoccupied with something unknown to her friend.
Savannah jumped at the sound of Marti's voice, and she turned to find her in front of her again.
Marti silently handed over a box of tampons, and Savannah rolled her eyes slightly before mumbling, "Thank you."
"Yeah." Marti took a step forward, and placed her hand on Savannah's shoulder, "Come talk to me whenever you need help, okay? It would take a lot to make me 'queasy.'"
Savannah gave her a crooked sort of half smile and nodded, "Thanks Marti."
She waited until Marti reluctantly walked out of the bathroom again, before sitting down on the closed toilet, bowing her head and massaging her forehead with her fingertips. She awkwardly reached behind herself, to pick up the hidden item on the floor. She stared at it for some time, before getting up and walking out of the bathroom, the item still gripped tightly in the security of her hand.
"When were you planning on telling me you and Savannah had sex?" Marti sat down on the sofa, leaning back casually and taking a sip from the soda can Dan had just handed her.
"I told you. I can't discuss things with you that involve Savannah unless she comes to you first." He sat down in a chair in the living room and shrugged.
"What happens if she doesn't come to me? You're not supposed to keep things from your best friend, Patch, even if I do happen to be female." Marti sat the soda down on the coffee table, and watched with amazement as Dan eyed the can before jumping up and returning with a coaster.
"Oh. My. God." Marti shook her head, "I've been living with Savannah for a year now and you'll never catch me doing that."
"It would have formed a ring!" Dan exclaimed defensively, "Anyway, it looks like Savannah always does come to you, eventually."
"She didn't this time."
"What are you talking about? Obviously she told you that we slept together."
"No she didn't." Marti sighed, "When it happened, I just knew it. And then I caught her screaming at herself in the bathroom yesterday. I think she's pregnant."
Dan's face turned to stone, and he shook his head, "Now that's not funny."
"I wasn't making a joke." Marti replied.
"There's a lot of reasons a girl could be yelling in a bathroom." Dan insisted, "Maybe she started her period or something and was out of pads or whatever."
Marti stared at him long and hard, "Oh God."
She reached over and picked up the soda can, taking it off the coaster, and placing it directly on the wood of the coffee table. She watched as Dan stared at the drink, fidgeting with his hands anxiously.
Marti pointed at the can, "That is for your own good. You're starting to think just like her. I love Savannah, but one of her is definitely all I need in my life right now."
She lay back on the couch, bringing her feet up, and bending her knees, blocking her vision of Dan as she continued to talk to him, "You need to go find her and talk to her. If she is pregnant I'm sure she's freaking out right now, even if she's not showing it on the outside. And if nothing else, I know losing her virginity had a huge impact on her. She needs you."
"Okay." Dan let out a tense breath, and then paused, as he stared at his best friend, "Savannah doesn't like when people put their shoes on the couch."
Marti replied by firmly grinding her feet into the sofa cushion, laughing when she felt Dan dragging her by her legs off of the furniture, and onto the floor.
"Van." Dan grabbed her hand, and she jumped, turning to face her boyfriend.
"Hey." She greeted him as he softly kissed her cheek.
He pulled her chair out for her so she could sit down, before sitting down in the chair across from her at the small table in the on-campus coffee shop. His talk with Marti had urged him to sit down and have a conversation with his girlfriend, now worried himself about the problems she might be facing because of him. He was hoping that if she was having issues due to their decision to sleep together, at the very least they were internal conflicts like regret, rather than the life changing word Marti had mentioned, 'pregnant.'
"I think we need to talk." Dan began.
"I think so too." Savannah nodded, her face clouded with anxiety.
"You haven't talked to me much about what happened that night at the hotel. I know that was a big decision for you, and I want you to know you can talk to me about any... effects it may be having on you."
Savannah had her hands folded on the table in front of her, and she chose to stare at them rather than Dan, nodding, stony faced, and remaining silent.
"It's okay if you don't have anything to say right now. I just want you to know that I care so much about you, and you can depend on me-"
"I think we should break up." Savannah blurted out, forgetting her southern taught manners and interrupting him.
Dan leaned back in his chair, silenced by the blow, "What?"
"I just... I think that might be what's best right now for the both of us." Savannah mumbled, hating herself even as she spoke.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Dan shook his head in disbelief, his mind reeling, "You can't be serious. Savannah, you and I slept together a couple of weeks ago. I know that's not something you took lightly, and you wouldn't have chosen to do it with someone you were planning on ending your relationship with immediately afterwards. If you're scared right now, we can talk this through."
"I don't really want to talk right now." Savannah said, "I wish I hadn't made the decision I did, but I can't go back and change it. I need to take some time for me right now, to reevaluate my life path. I can't be worried about a relationship while I do that."
"Reevaluate your life path?" Dan repeated her words with more than cynicism, "Savannah, you've never spent a day of your life straying away from your fifteen-year plan."
"That night with you was never part of my original plan." She glanced behind her, her line of vision following a waitress, "We shouldn't just sit here. We should probably order something."
"Savannah!" Dan snapped, needing her attention back on him, "Please don't do this. You're being irrational."
He hesitated, but decided to mention the possibility that had been looming over his mind since it was brought to his attention the day before, "Marti said she thought you might be pregnant."
Savannah blinked, "Why would she say that? I never mentioned anything even hinting something like that to her."
"I don't know. She figured out that you and I had sex without you saying something." Dan brought his hand up, massaging one of his temples, "Look, just whatever has you freaking out, I'm the last person you should be pushing away. I'm here for you. You've just got to let me know what's going on in your head."
"I've already told you what's going on." Savannah replied, a certain stubborness in her voice that made Dan feel helpless in convincing her to reconsider.
"I think I'm going to transfer from Lancer. I just don't think I have time in my life for a boyfriend right now."
"Transfer from Lancer?" Dan couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was as if an entirely different person had entered that coffee shop, and he was desperately hoping the real Savannah would return at any moment, horrified when she realized all she had said.
"Transfer to where?"
Savannah shrugged, "Maybe to no where. I might just move and see where I end up."
"Just see where you end up? Damn it Savannah, you sound so stupid right now!" Dan pounded his fist on the table.
"Why?" She exclaimed, "You did it before, remember? You cheated on me, and then ran away and left me here hurt and confused. There's no reason for me to believe you won't do it again."
"I love you Savannah." Dan insisted, a final plea to her heart, since her brain was clearly severely altered since the last time they spoke.
"I thought you loved me before you ran off the first time." She responded, the corners of her lips tugging down with the surpressed sadness of the memory.
Dan pressed the heels of his hands into his eye sockets, "This is insane. I thought you had forgiven me already for what happened ages ago. I can never appologize enough for hurting you. But I don't understand what you're doing right now."
"I do forgive you Dan." Savannah sighed, more than ready for their conversation to be over with, much like their relationship soon would be, "I'm just making a point. You needed time then, and I need time apart now. I know it's completely rash, and sudden, and unfair, but I honestly think this is what's for the best. I think you'll be happier long-term without me. And I know I can't be around this school any longer."
She reached across the table for Dan's hand, and placed hers over it gently, "Don't be too upset over this, and don't think it means I don't love you. I just know this is what's right, for the both of us."
Dan stared angrily down at his lap, refusing to look at her, overwhelmed and shocked at the amount of grief he was already feeling. He didn't blink or move when she slid her hand away, and after another long moment of silence, he could hear her chair sliding against the floor, as she stood up to leave him, both in the literal and figurative sense.
She walked away from him without a goodbye, and admist his sadness, he was filled with a new found self-loathing, finally realizing what he had put her through months prior, when he left her in the same state.
A/N: New story here!
I hope there's at least a little interest in this fic for a canceled TV show. The Dan/Savannah pairing is cannon, something I'm not used to writing, but it still seems to be less popular than some of the others, maybe because Savannah is still technically a "supporting" character.
This chapter is a prologue, jsyk. The rest of the story, if I continue, will take place a few years after this.
I'm really going to miss this show. I loved getting to watch Ashley Tisdale in something new every week, and I loved all of the song covers Aly Michalka did for the show. I'm really dissapointed it won't be coming back, especially since its last episode was open ended.